Genshin Impact: This Priest is Cringe, But She’s Also Unbeatable

Selene stared at the spray bottle in her sister’s hand.

It was a blinding, bubblegum-pink canister, emblazoned with a pattern of sparkly, suspicious-looking hearts.

For three solid seconds, her brain simply ceased to function.

“Sister?!” Her voice cracked, coming out as a strangled squeak.

“You—you—you pulled out the wrong thing, right?!

That’s bug spray, not a vial of holy water!” she stammered, her eyes wide with disbelief.

“And this color, this packaging… When did you buy something so aggressively girly?!” Celeste’s face remained a mask of calm indifference, but internally, she was screaming.

‘You think I wanted to pull this thing out?!

But out of all the supplies I’m carrying, this is the only non-food item left outside my system inventory!

What did you want me to do?

Shove a fried egg into the hive to plug the hole?!’ She forced her voice to remain steady, laced with a deep sense of resignation.

“Don’t ask.

If you must know, consider it a tactical reserve.” Across the clearing, the struggling squad had also noticed the commotion.

When Captain Zhang Xuchu saw the pink spray bottle, an object so jarringly out of place on a battlefield, his eyes nearly bulged from their sockets.

“Classmate Celeste?!” he yelled over the din of buzzing.

“These venomous bees can’t be stopped by ordinary insect repellent!

Wait… what is that bottle?

A new type of holy water?

The packaging is certainly… unique!” He squinted at the gaudy heart pattern, his tone thick with uncertainty.

The fire mage, Zhang Ming, executed a clumsy roll to dodge a diving bee.

Hearing his captain, he almost fumbled the fireball coalescing in his palm.

“Boss!

What time is it to be critiquing product design!

Linlin!

Heal me!

I’m toast!” The ranger, Li Jun, loosed an arrow that went wide, letting out a wail of frustration.

“There are only two of them!

And they’re holding… that?

Are they here to help or just add to the body count?” Only the priest, Kael Lin, who was being protected at the rear, kept her gaze locked on Celeste.

She looked from the pink canister in Celeste’s hand to Selene, who stood beside her, clad in silver armor and ready for battle.

A memory of Celeste’s shockingly effective melee combat during the tournament surfaced, and a flicker of hope ignited in her eyes.

“What if… what if Classmate Celeste has some kind of special tactic?” “Selene!” Celeste’s sharp cry cut through her sister’s bewilderment and the rising chaos in Zhang Xuchu’s squad.

“Sacred Shield Impact!

On my mark!

Aim for the hive!” Though Selene’s mind was still reeling from the sheer absurdity of the pink spray bottle, her trust in her sister was an instinct carved into her very bones.

She immediately snapped to attention, holy light flaring to life and condensing on the face of her shield.

“For my sister’s reputation… ah, no, for victory!

Sacred Shield Impact!” Boom!

A solid wall of golden light surged forward like a divine chariot, smashing through the dense swarm of bees and carving a narrow, temporary path through the buzzing chaos.

Shattered wings and bisected insectoid bodies rained down in its wake.

‘This is it!’ Celeste’s eyes narrowed.

She kicked off the ground, her body a blur as she shot down the corridor opened by the holy light.

The pink canister, held like a scepter, moved with deft agility, parrying the few stray stingers that broke through.

Her target was locked: the hollow in the massive tree from which an endless river of venomous bees was pouring.

“She’s charging in!

What is she doing?!” Zhang Ming exclaimed, momentarily forgetting to cast his next fireball.

Under the incredulous stares of everyone present—including her own sister—Celeste skidded to a halt directly in front of the hive.

She raised the bottle of “High-Efficiency Insect Repellent Fragrance Spray” high.

Aiming the nozzle squarely at the dark, pulsating entrance, she slammed her thumb down on the button.

Pshhh—!

A cloud of pink mist, so thick it was practically a liquid, erupted from the canister.

It blasted into the hive’s interior with the force and precision of a dragon’s poisonous breath.

The scent that followed was an olfactory assault.

It was a nauseating fusion of cloying strawberry hard candy, the pungent sting of cheap jasmine essence, and some other unidentifiable, eye-watering chemical agent.

For a heartbeat, time seemed to slow to a crawl.

The next second— “BZZZZZ—!!!” A shriek of pure, unadulterated panic erupted from within the hive, a buzzing sound ten times more intense than before.

It was a display of agony, rage, and utter chaos.

The venomous bees that had been streaming out in an orderly assault instantly went haywire.

They crashed into each other, into the trees, into the ground, like a glitching video game.

They even began to turn on one another, stingers sinking into their brethren in a frenzy of self-destruction.

The entire swarm collapsed into unmatched anarchy.

This bizarre, saccharine fragrance was apparently a devastating neurotoxin to them, a weapon far more lethal than any flame or arrow.

“It… it worked?!” Li Jun’s jaw dropped so wide that a disoriented bee nearly flew straight into his mouth.

“Is that some new type of alchemical potion?!” Zhang Ming stared, dumbfounded, at the lingering pink mist and the self-destructing swarm.

“The smell… is quite potent!” While fending off the last few sporadic attacks, Zhang Xuchu looked utterly bewildered.

“Classmate Celeste!

Your… your ‘perfume’ has an absurd amount of attack power!” Even Celeste was a little surprised by how instantaneous the effect was.

But she didn’t waste a second, quickly backing away while shouting to the stunned onlookers.

“Don’t just stand there!

Attack the hive!

Now’s your chance!” Her voice snapped everyone out of their daze.

“Fireball!” “Archers, volley on the hive!” “By the Holy Light, that nest is asking for a smiting!” Having lost all unified command and descended into a cannibalistic civil war, the bee swarm could no longer mount any effective defense.

Under the concentrated barrage of spells and arrows, the fragile hive was quickly riddled with holes before it finally exploded with a wet, sticky bang.

Shards of wood and globs of honey, now mixed with that bizarre pink liquid, splattered everywhere.

The few remaining bees let out desperate, dying buzzes and scattered into the depths of the forest, vanishing from sight.

The battle… was over.

The clearing was a wreck, filled with the acrid smell of spent magic, the cloying sweetness of honey, and the stubbornly persistent chemical miasma of strawberry and jasmine.

The survivors of Zhang Xuchu’s squad collapsed to the ground, panting heavily.

They stared with complicated expressions at Celeste, who stood calmly amidst the wreckage.

She was still holding her pink scepter, her expression serene, as if she had just accomplished something utterly trivial.

It was just that the suspicious fragrance clinging to her made this master-like demeanor seem particularly… unique.

Zhang Xuchu struggled to his feet, the swelling on his arm still visible, and gave Celeste a deep, respectful bow.

“Classmate Celeste!

I won’t waste your time with empty words of gratitude!

This time, we truly owe you our lives… thanks to you… and your, uh, ‘special insect repellent’?” His gaze drifted involuntarily to the now half-empty spray bottle in her hand, his eyes a mixture of awe and confusion.

“That stuff… the effect is truly divine.” Celeste said nothing.

What could she possibly say?

That this was a slow-moving product passionately recommended by the auntie at the adventurer’s supply store, who had pitched it as a “must-have for dates in the Domain, guaranteed to make even monsters fall for you”?

She could only maintain an inscrutable poker face and give a faint nod.

“It was a small effort.” [Ding!

Successfully resolved the crisis using a “unique style” method, creating strong contrast and cognitive shock.

Harvested a large amount of astonishment and (forced) joy.

Elation Coins +255!

Host, your “chemical weapon” has achieved its first glorious victory!

Aha appreciates this kind of unconventional fun!] Celeste pointedly ignored the voice in her head, feeling a sudden urge to throw the system, along with the spray bottle, into the Void.

Just then, the priest Kael Lin walked up, speaking timidly.

“Classmate Celeste, thank you… If it weren’t for you, we might have…” She looked at Celeste, a faint blush on her cheeks, and added in a low voice, “The way you charged in just now… was so cool!

It’s just… the smell is a bit special.” Celeste’s expression didn’t change.

‘No, that wasn’t a cool charge.

That was a desperate sprint towards social death, and this is the lingering aftertaste.’ Zhang Ming sidled over, took a curious sniff of the air, and his face twisted into a strange grimace.

“Classmate Celeste, you smell like an overturned candy shop got into a fight with a can of insecticide… but hey, it’s super effective!

When we get out, can you send me the link?” Li Jun also nodded, a look of lingering fear in his eyes.

“Yeah, the method was a bit… unorthodox, but it really saved our skins.

Thanks, you two!” Zhang Xuchu promptly transferred 200 squad points to them.

After expressing his gratitude one last time, he turned specifically to Selene.

“Classmate Selene, the ice cream from the tournament doesn’t count.

When we get out of here, I’m treating you to a proper feast!

You can pick the place!” He hesitated for a moment, then leaned towards Celeste and lowered his voice.

“By the way, I don’t know if this will be useful to you, but when we were exploring to the west earlier, we saw what looked like an abandoned altar behind a swamp.

It was glowing with a very strange light.” “According to the guides from previous years,” he added, “that’s the kind of terrain where ‘moonlight moss’ sometimes grows.

It’s worth a lot of points.” He paused.

“But the monsters guarding it are definitely no joke.

If you decide to go, be extremely careful.” After seeing off Zhang Xuchu’s squad, the sisters’ point total had jumped by a significant amount.

Selene immediately leaned in close to her sister, took a deep whiff with her small nose, and her entire face scrunched up in disgust.

“Sister, you… you have such a complicated and potent smell on you.” “I feel like no venomous insect will dare come within ten feet of you now,” she said, wrinkling her nose.

“But I think it might be a bit risky for humans, too.” Expressionlessly, Celeste stuffed the remaining half of the spray back into her equipment space, mentally vowing to seal it away for all eternity.

“Let’s go.

We’ll check out the west side.” She flicked her staff, as if trying to physically bat away the cloying fragrance that clung to her like a second skin.

“First, we find a place where I can properly ‘air out’.” She looked up at the sky, which was almost completely obscured by the thick forest canopy, and sighed.

This Domain journey had only just begun, and the vibe was already spiraling in a completely uncontrollable direction.

Meanwhile, her Elation Coin balance, thanks to various unexpected “assists,” was stubbornly and steadily climbing toward the goal for her next ten-pull.

‘Maybe…’A dangerous thought flickered through Celeste’s mind.’Maybe next time I should consider bringing a crate of canned surströmming?

System, would that count as a ‘chemical attack’?’ [System (after a brief, static-filled silence): …Host, your idea is very bold.

Aha expresses great anticipation.

However, this system offers a friendly reminder: please carefully consider the endurance of your teammates (and yourself).] Selene, watching her sister’s profile as she suddenly fell into deep thought, felt an inexplicable shiver run down her spine.

“Sister, what dangerous thing are you thinking about now?” “I’m warning you, don’t you dare pull out any more strange things!” [Elysian’s Note: Having a good time with the story?

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