Genshin Impact: This Priest is Cringe, But She’s Also Unbeatable

That costume show had detonated a firestorm across the entire internet, but in the grand scheme of the martial arts examination, it was merely an interlude.

The relentless march of the arena tournament would not pause for anyone’s social death.

The Quarter-finals.

Here, Celeste finally slammed into the so-called “ceiling” of her destiny.

Her opponent was Gao Shen, a Level 22 Defensive Warrior.

True to his name, both his personality and his combat style could be summarized in a single word: steady.

He was a silent monolith, impenetrable and unyielding.

Standing on the stage, Gao Shen’s gaze didn’t even linger for a second on Celeste’s now-infamous pink staff.

He simply, silently, raised a tower shield that was wider and thicker than his own body.

Thud.

The shield slammed into the arena floor with a dull, heavy sound.

In that instant, his entire being seemed to fuse with the stage beneath his feet, becoming as solid and immovable as a mountain.

“Match start!” The moment the referee’s voice fell, Celeste purged all distracting thoughts from her mind.

She pushed the Thousand-Rock Army’s spear techniques to their absolute limit.

The air filled with a storm of pink afterimages as her staff became a dizzying blur, hammering relentlessly against Gao Shen’s shield and heavy armor.

“Clang!

Clang!

Clang!

Clang!” The percussive rhythm of metal on metal echoed through the arena like a frantic drumbeat.

Sparks flew from the shield’s surface, only to be instantly extinguished by its deep, metallic luster.

Gao Shen had completely abandoned any notion of attacking.

With his every action, he embodied the very essence of the word “defense.” His feet were planted as if rooted to the earth itself.

Every angle of his shield was precise to the millimeter, effortlessly neutralizing Celeste’s trickiest and most aggressive strikes, rendering them utterly void.

It wasn’t that Celeste hadn’t tried to find a weakness.

But Gao Shen’s defensive posture was a seamless, integrated system.

His internal energy flowed around him like a current, creating an airtight barrier with no discernible gaps.

She even took a risk, deliberately leaving an opening to bait him into a counterattack.

Unfortunately, Gao Shen didn’t bite.

His strategy was cruelly simple: let the storm rage, for the mountain does not move.

He would wait until her last drop of stamina and mana was spent.

The fight devolved into a grueling stalemate.

Relying on her spear skills alone, she couldn’t break through.

Celeste glanced at the Venti trial card sitting in her system inventory, and a klaxon of alarm blared in her mind.

‘For a measly quarter-final match, I have to transform into a white-stockinged, green-hatted bard on a national live broadcast?’That wouldn’t just be social death.

That would be social cremation, with her ashes scattered to the four winds.’Not worth it.

Absolutely not worth it!’ With that thought, Celeste’s will to fight deflated by a good thirty percent.

She began to tap her staff against his shield half-heartedly, her mind already wandering to whether she should have hotpot or barbecue for dinner.

Time dragged on, minute by agonizing minute.

The audience’s initial cheers devolved into whispers, which then faded into a dull, heavy silence.

Some spectators started looking down at their light-computers; a few even began to yawn.

One combatant couldn’t break the defense, and the other couldn’t be bothered to attack.

Both of their health bars were still full.

What was the point of this fight?

This wasn’t an intense quarter-final match; it was a mass hypnosis session.

Finally, just as Celeste was rhythmically tapping out the melody of “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” with the tip of her staff, and even the referee was starting to check his watch, preparing to declare an unprecedentedly dull draw— A hymn rang out from thin air.

The song was deep and grandiose, carrying the desolate tragedy of an ancient battlefield.

It was imbued with a sense of grim destiny that seemed to whisper, ‘Prepare to suffer, young one,’ instantly seizing the soul of everyone present.

[“Overtones” has begun playing for you!] The system notification exploded in her mind.

“!!!” Celeste’s entire body went rigid.

She nearly dropped her staff.

‘No freaking way!

What is this “if I’m not happy, nobody’s happy” BGM?!

And it triggered against a human tin can?

Is the system’s definition of “Aha” completely broken?!’ Almost at the same instant the music began, a grayish-white light enveloped her.

The plain white priest robe she wore was swallowed and reconstructed by the light.

When the light dissipated, the violent priest was gone.

In her place stood a knight, clad head to toe in worn, battle-scarred plate armor, her face obscured by a full-faced visor.

The armor was a proof of countless brutal encounters.

She held a kite shield on her left arm and a plain, unadorned straight sword in her right hand.

The pink, girlishly charming staff was nowhere to be seen.

Her entire being radiated a sense of desolate resilience, an aura that screamed, “I can still die another eight hundred times.” [Overtones triggered!

BGM: “Dark Souls III – Main Theme”.] [Cosplay Character: Ashen One.] [Gained additional buff: Weapon Art – Stance.

The normal attack following the Stance can break the balance of an enemy defending with a shield.] Celeste was startled for a moment, then a wave of relief washed over her.

‘Hey, this one’s not bad!

Full armor, priest to knight, no big deal.

The Ashen One is a silent protagonist, so no lines to mess up.

It’s just…

this chest plate is a little tight…’ Below the stage, the dead-silent audience erupted.

“She… she changed again?!

What is it this time?

A medieval knight?

What in the world is her class!” “This music is making my hair stand on end!

I feel like something is about to kill me!” “The art style is changing way too fast!

From magical girl to an intellectual officer, and now she’s a hardcore knight?!” “Sister—!” Selene shot up from her seat again, a sigh of deep regret escaping her lips.

“What a pity!

This look isn’t a dark history moment at all…” Her opponent, Gao Shen, was also stunned by the sudden transformation.

But his rock-like personality allowed him to quickly regain his composure.

He only gripped his tower shield even more firmly.

No matter what you become, the mountain will not move.

On the stage, Celeste had already adjusted her mindset.

‘Anyway, my face is covered by the helmet.

Even if I lose face, it won’t be Celeste’s face!’ The moment her thoughts cleared, Celeste—or rather, the “Ashen One”—moved.

She didn’t charge.

She took a single, steady step forward, lowered her center of gravity, and gripped the straight sword with both hands.

A faint light began to glow along the blade.

“Break!” a muffled shout echoed from beneath the helmet.

Executing a standard upward-slash weapon art, her sword swung up in a vicious arc, striking the lower edge of Gao Shen’s tower shield with pinpoint precision.

Crack— An unexpectedly crisp sound rang out.

Gao Shen felt a bizarre, concussive force travel up from the shield, making his entire arm go numb.

His “immovable as a mountain” stance, the very foundation of his pride, which connected him to the earth itself, was shattered by that single blow.

His body tilted back uncontrollably, forced into a staggered state that left him vulnerable for a full second.

Now!

Celeste surged forward, lifted her right leg, and drove her iron-clad boot in a solid, unadorned kick right into Gao Shen’s chest.

BANG!

Like a kicked soda can, Gao Shen was sent flying while still trapped in his staggered animation.

He traced a perfect parabola through the air before landing outside the arena with a heavy thud.

The entire venue fell into a stunned, dead silence.

The instant the ten-second transformation ended, Celeste immediately reverted to her priest form, pink staff in hand.

She even blinked at the referee with a look of pure innocence.

The referee stared, dumbfounded, for a full five seconds before he stutteringly blew his whistle.

“Win…

Winner, Celeste!” Pinned by countless dazed, shocked gazes all murmuring about her “deviant fighting style,” Celeste practically fled the arena, her legs moving in an awkward, stiff gait.

“Sister!

That kick!

That was a soul-crushing strike!” Selene was the first to rush over, her entire body shaking with laughter as she shoved her light-computer in Celeste’s face.

“The forums have already given you a new nickname: ‘The Priest Who Kicked Her Way into the Top Eight’!

They’re saying your kick was filled with disdain and mockery for turtle-shell tactics!

It’s art!

Performance art!” Celeste’s face was a mask of numbness.

‘Well,’she thought,’at least turning into a tin can is a hell of a lot better than turning into Venti.

I can accept this.’ No matter how twisted the process had been, her place in the top four was now set in stone.

Unfortunately, that was as far as they would go.

Later, both sisters were defeated by a powerful Elemental Mage who possessed the “Multi-Cast” specialty.

One stopped at the top four, and the other settled for runner-up, but their performances had already been stunning enough to leave a lasting impression.

“It’s just an arena tournament.

The points are what really matter,” Selene said, waving her runner-up trophy nonchalantly.

“Two hundred points for second place, one hundred for the top four.

Once we get into the Domain, we can make up that gap just by farming a few waves of mobs!” Celeste couldn’t agree more.

The arena tournament was a personal showcase.

The true test, the real crucible, was the brutal confrontation with hideous monsters and unknown environments within the Domain.

That was where the core value of a professional was truly measured.

…

They returned home triumphant.

Their parents, who had rarely managed to finish their own Domain duties at the same time, had already prepared a lavish feast.

“Hahaha, good!

As expected of the daughters of the Lin family!” their father, Lin Qingtian, boomed, slapping Celeste on the shoulder with enough force to make her wince.

“Although the process was a bit… unconventional, the top four!

Qingyue, you’ve done all the support classes in the world proud!” Their mother, Yan Shuyu, smiled gently, constantly placing more food into her daughters’ bowls.

“You’ve worked hard, eat more.

You both performed beautifully in the arena, especially Qingyue…” Her voice trailed off.

Her smile remained gentle, but her eyes flickered instinctively as she mentioned her daughter, clearly recalling a certain costume that had pushed the very limits of her understanding.

“…That, um, on-the-spot adaptability of yours was very outstanding.” The family atmosphere was warm and celebratory.

However, happy times are always destined to be broken by certain “little demons.” Ding-dong!

Ding-dong!

Ding-dong!

The family group chat was suddenly flooded with a series of memes.

Celeste clicked on it casually, and the juice she had just sipped almost sprayed out of her nose.

In the chat was a screenshot of her on the arena, dressed as Pela, wearing a look of utter despair as she pushed up a pair of invisible glasses.

The picture had been captioned with various texts by her dear sister, Selene: [Celeste pushing glasses.jpg] “I have seen through your weakness.” (Original Version) [Same expression] “Knowledge is power!” (Academic Version) [Dead eyes] “Is this overtime… absolutely necessary?” (Corporate Drone Version) [Same pose] “For this question, the answer is C.” (Top Student Version) A surge of heat rushed from the base of Celeste’s neck to the top of her head, her entire face instantly turning beet red.

“Lin.

Xi.

Yue!” She ground out her sister’s name, syllable by syllable, slammed down her chopsticks, and lunged across the table toward the culprit, who was already howling with laughter.

“Aaaaah!

Mom, Dad, help!

Sister’s so embarrassed she’s going to kill me to silence me!” Selene shrieked, bouncing up from her chair and agilely dodging behind their father’s broad back.

Lin Qingtian and Yan Shuyu watched their daughters roughhousing, then exchanged a look, shaking their heads with helpless affection.

“Alright, alright, Qingyue, let Xiyue go.

The food is getting cold,” Yan Shuyu said, playing the mediator.

In the end, Celeste failed to successfully “sanction” her audacious sister.

She could only slump back into her seat, fuming, using her glare to conduct a silent trial and execution.

Selene, meanwhile, poked her head out triumphantly from behind their father, waved her phone, and silently mouthed the words: “Dark.

His.

To.

Ry.

Lives.

For.

Ev.

Er!” The family celebration feast, full of laughter (for everyone else), ended amidst Celeste’s “grief and indignation.” Back in her room, Celeste threw herself onto her bed in a huff but couldn’t resist picking up her phone to look at those wildly circulating memes.

Staring at her own expression of feigned calm masking utter despair, her mouth twitched.

Finally, she couldn’t hold it in any longer and burst out laughing.

“Fine, if I lose face, so be it.” She opened the system interface.

Her gaze fell upon that bright green Venti trial card, and her eyes gradually took on a dangerous, feverish glint.

“The Domain point tournament, is it…” “Real monsters, unknown environments…” A smile, mixed with equal parts anticipation and madness, curled at the corners of her lips.

“The ‘audience’ in there should appreciate… surprises even more, right?” [Elysian’s Note: Having a good time with the story?

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