The Trash Returned from Warhammer

Click.

The lock turned, and Shinji opened the door. His expression was as ordinary as it always was, as if he had just been out for a late-night stroll, rather than having spent the evening dismantling the schemers behind the scenes.

It was already the dead of night, yet the living room lights were blazing. Misato Katsuragi, Asuka, and Rei Ayanami were all there, staring at him in unison.

”Not asleep yet?”

Shinji spoke casually, taking out his slippers to change into them. He kept his battles, his planning, and his daily life strictly separated. Even a person as sharp as Ritsuko Akagi would have been left utterly bewildered, but for Shinji, it was routine. It would be incomprehensible for a boy meant to be enjoying student life to not only pilot a giant robot and fight Angels but to be pulling the strings behind everything, holding SEELE and Gendo Ikari in the palm of his hand.

”Weren’t we waiting for you? Ritsuko just called, saying thanks for your hospitality tonight.”

Misato said, sounding a bit stifled. She couldn’t help but add, ”So you went out with Ritsuko tonight? Why didn’t you tell me?”

”What? You went out with Dr. Akagi? Tell me, what exactly did you do?”

Asuka jumped up directly, examining Shinji with a strange look, though she couldn’t find a single thing wrong with his face.

”Oh, just chatted about some things.”

”Alone?”

”Hmm... I suppose so.”

Shinji nodded. Subconsciously, he didn’t want these matters to affect Asuka and the others. Besides, none of them could help, and explaining it all would be too much of a hassle.

”You... you don’t like older women, do you? (German)”

Asuka blurted it out, then immediately looked at Misato—forgetting that the older woman understood German.

Misato scratched her nose, suddenly a bit embarrassed, and replied in German: ”Older women know how to take care of people. Adults have a certain... charm, something a little girl like you wouldn’t understand.”

”Nonsense! Misato, you know how to take care of people? It’s more like people have to take care of you; you get lectured every time you do the dishes. (German)”

”But I have a great figure. (German)”

”That’s just because I haven’t grown up yet! I’ll definitely be better than you later. Wait, we’re discussing Dr. Ritsuko—what does that have to do with you? (German)”

”Oh, right, right. Ritsuko. But her figure isn’t bad either, plus she has that sophisticated intellectual charm. Those long legs in black stockings... pretty attractive to a young boy Shinji’s age. (German)”

”But I wear black stockings, why don’t you look at me? And what are you doing sticking your leg out? You aren’t Dr. Ritsuko. (German)”

”That’s exactly why I said you’re a little girl. (German)”

”Heh, you old hag. (German)”

The two went back and forth, bickering wildly. Rei Ayanami tried to interject several times but kept closing her mouth. These two were truly embarrassing—especially Misato, who was 28 years old and still arguing like this.

Previously, she wouldn’t have cared, but it was different now. Since experiencing ”Germanic Winning Science,” Rei had been self-studying German, so she could just barely understand their conversation.

’It’s truly hard to listen to. I am very curious about how spectacular Asuka’s expression will be when she finds out I know German.’

She pursed her lips. Lately, she had been watching an anime recommended by Maya, and she had the intention of learning from the heroine. At that moment, she saw Shinji also wearing a look of annoyance.

’Wait, could Ikari-kun understand them too? If that’s the case...’

The corners of her mouth curled up unintentionally. That would be too interesting.

”Alright, everyone hurry up and go to sleep.”

Shinji finally couldn’t take it anymore and gave a small yawn.

”Aren’t you all tired today? If not, should we do a few sets of strength training?”

”Tired! I’m tired! Weren’t we just waiting for you to get back?”

Misato escaped on the spot; she didn’t want to train until she was a muscular woman.

Rei Ayanami rose as well, suddenly saying, ”Ikari-kun, please see me off.”

They lived right next door—she needed to be walked over?

Asuka was full of suspicion. Before she could speak, Shinji nodded and walked over. Asuka’s eyes twitched, her expression flickering between gloom and rage.

The straight-line distance was less than twenty meters, but they walked very slowly.

”Ikari-kun, is it really okay?”

Rei’s words seemed to refer to many things; her clear voice hid a trace of hesitation.

”Ritsuko Akagi talked about some things regarding you.”

Shinji spoke with indifference. He saw a flicker of fear on the girl’s face, but his tone softened immediately: ”Don’t worry, everything is under my control. Your secrets aren’t anything major.”

”Really?”

”Yes. I’ve told you some stories before; you should know what I used to enjoy doing most.”

Besides providing security services, the Blood Ravens most enjoyed excavating ruins to acquire secrets—occasionally unearthing some terrifying dark history.

Rei tilted her head and thought for a moment, then blurted out: ”Oh, just like that Second Empe...”

”Shh! Never say that out loud.”

Shinji covered her mouth, looking around suspiciously. The corridor was dimly lit, overlooking the flashing city lights outside. Seeing no blue-clad strongmen jumping out to execute him, he released his hand.

”So, these secrets of yours don’t amount to much. The only difficult part is how to resolve them, but you don’t need to worry about that—I already have an idea.”

”But my origin is related to a ’God’.”

Rei didn’t actually know too many details; she had just overheard Gendo Ikari talking about it when she was still a doll.

”Then we shall slay that God and purify your origin. That is the destiny of an Astartes.”

Shinji was utterly calm. In truth, Warp demons were a form of ”Gods” in their own right, and it wasn’t as if he hadn’t hacked one apart before.

But as soon as the words left his lips, he saw Rei’s eyes light up instantly. She stared at him with a gaze that could only be described as scorching. He added:

”I am not intentionally comforting you; this plan is already in motion.”

”I know. Ikari-kun is omnipotent!”

Rei interrupted suddenly, her voice loud enough to trigger the motion-sensor lights of the entire floor, as if she were venting all the hesitation and fear in her heart.

That face, which was so often devoid of expression, suddenly became incredibly vivid. Endless words clogged her throat, and every pore of her skin felt comfortable enough to unfold.

The phrase ”slay a god” severed Rei Ayanami’s last remaining chain. The thing she feared most had been acknowledged so nonchalantly.

Shinji said her secrets were nothing, so he surely wouldn’t despise her. Shinji said he would slay a god to purify her origins, so she could definitely become a normal human.

She looked at that puzzled face, opened her mouth silently, then suddenly quickened her pace, opened her door, and slipped inside—revealing only a slightly flushed face through the crack of the door.

”Then, goodnight.”

Bang.

The door closed. Shinji, standing in the corridor, remained frozen for nearly five full seconds.

He didn’t understand why Rei’s positive emotions had surged so violently, or why she had accelerated her pace as if running away. After another three seconds, he shook his head.

’It seems I still have a lot to learn.

Phew, I almost lost my composure.’

Rei leaned against the door, fumbled to turn on the light, and illuminated her face, which was ecstatic to the extreme. Her legs turned to jelly, and she sank to the floor. The smile on her face quickly broke the limits of a mere grin.

The Class Rep had told her that a confession was a guarantee for the future. Just now, Shinji had given her that guarantee.

It wasn’t romantic, and it lacked the legend of a bonfire, but this guarantee had reached an inconceivable degree.

’Slay a god. Slay a god for me.’

With Shinji’s character of ”a promise is worth a thousand gold pieces,” he would surely deliver. From today on, she would have no more psychological burdens.

My secrets? Ikari-kun doesn’t care. My future? Ikari-kun would slay a god for it.

”So, does this count as him confessing to me?”

She folded her hands over her chest, feeling a heartbeat that refused to stop. She immediately thought of the second point the Class Rep had mentioned:

’When the person you like confesses to you, you will feel incredibly happy.’

Happy. Extremely happy. It felt like a dream. Germanic Winning Science truly had its merits.

The smile on Rei’s face never faded. Just a moment ago, she had been on the verge of jumping up to hug Shinji and offering him her most passionate kiss.

Unfortunately, she was there.

She was laughing, yet her brows were knit together tightly. It was precisely because Asuka had been glaring at her that Rei had retained her last shred of reason.

’Must I eliminate her?’

No, she is my friend, and a person Ikari-kun values.

’Must I confront her?’

Except for being sharp-tongued, Asuka is too fragile elsewhere; I cannot hurt her.

’Must I appease her?’

No, my instinct rejects that choice.

Rei leaned against the door, both happy and worried, unable to untangle this knotted relationship. After a long time, she let out a long sigh and pulled out her phone.

’Forget it. I’ll hire a consultant.’

-

-

-

”Back so soon? I was almost asleep.”

Shinji pushed the door open, feeling puzzled, and saw Asuka sitting on the sofa, hugging her knees, asking him without looking back.

’If my psychic detection hadn’t sensed someone crawling to the door to eavesdrop just now, I might have believed that.’

”Yeah, I’m back.”

Shinji was already accustomed to this kind of ”hard-mouthed” behavior. He looked down to change his shoes, not paying it much mind.

He walked into the living room, glanced first at the switched-off TV, and then at the girl staring at the screen.

”School tomorrow. Why aren’t you asleep?”

”I’m asking you—did your trip to see Dr. Ritsuko today have anything to do with that person next door?”

Asuka asked casually.

”It has some relation. Why are you suddenly curious? Don’t overthink it; I will resolve it.”

”I know you’ll resolve it! But I want to help too!”

Asuka’s voice rose abruptly. She looked at the surprised boy, almost shouting, ”I’m not as considerate as Rei! I’m sorry for always being noisy and causing you trouble! But I don’t want to be a fool!”

She jumped up, as if venting the frustration from the bonfire party, but she didn’t wait for Shinji’s explanation and strode toward her room.

”Goodnight.”

Bang!

The door closed, and the apartment returned to silence. Shinji stood in the middle of the living room, looking forward, then looking back, and gently scratched his forehead.

’The Emperor be praised, the recruit training manual had absolutely no content relevant to this.’

Why Rei had hidden, why Asuka had been angry—this was truly baffling. He almost missed the Angels; at least enemies could be dealt with by physical strangulation.

An Astartes puzzled by a problem he couldn’t grasp: Step one, add to the learning database, prepare to find a professional to analyze it. Step two—

Sleep.

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