The Trash Returned from Warhammer

When the Angel suddenly appeared and disrupted the rhythm of their lives, Shinji spent a day annihilating it and pivoting everything back onto the right track—a seamless transition.

The helicopter fleets flew back, and the people in the cabins were still somewhat dazed. They had barely sat down at the evacuation sites before being told to return. But when they saw Tokyo-3 virtually unscathed, bursts of cheers erupted.

For the students of Municipal First Junior High, Tokyo-3 was their hometown; no one wanted to see their home destroyed by an Angel.

As the helicopters landed, Kensuke Aida, who had stayed behind as a volunteer, immediately began describing the heroic deeds of Shinji and the others to the crowd. This naturally sparked another wave of admiration. It was no exaggeration to say that the three pilots were everyone’s saviors.

Most residents had not yet returned, making the city feel unusually quiet, but Municipal First Junior High was already buzzing. Everyone had unanimously decided to pull an all-night shift to catch up on progress and ensure the School Festival started on time.

”After all, this is all we can do, unlike you guys who can pilot EVAs to protect everyone.”

Hikari Horaki placed a cup of coffee in front of Rei Ayanami and whispered, ”I heard the supplies for the café come from the same vendor NERV uses.”

Rei took a small sip, savoring the bitter taste, while tilting her head to ponder the Class Rep’s words.

”Is this what Shinji-kun calls the power of setting an example?”

”Exactly! An example. Ikari-kun doesn’t demand that we do anything, but just like Kensuke, people naturally want to follow him. That’s the ’heroism’ mentioned in books.”

”Shinji-kun... is a hero.”

Rei nodded without hesitation, her pale face flushing slightly, a sight that made Hikari’s ”maiden heart” flutter.

”Rei is a hero too.”

”I am not. I only follow him.”

”There are big heroes and small heroes, just like playing cards—there’s a difference between a Big Joker and a Small Joker.”

Hikari Horaki was essentially the primary driver of the ”Rei Ayanami Complementary Project,” and metaphors came to her easily. At this, Rei understood instantly and nodded along. ”Yes. I am a hero too.”

’Rei is really... just...’

Hikari looked at the girl’s dazed expression, not knowing how to describe her. If you called her slow, she learned things very quickly; if you called her smart, she looked perpetually blank. She simply felt that this blank sheet of paper was gradually becoming vibrant. Even if she occasionally learned troublesome things like being a ”Yandere,” black ink could also make a painting more beautiful.

”But speaking of which, Ikari-kun has changed. Usually, you two would take a day or two off after a battle, right?”

”Yes. There would be follow-up experiments, and Shinji-kun would carefully deconstruct the combat process.” Rei paused, sensing something was different. This time, not only had he let the two of them come, but he had come himself to help with the preparations.

”It is indeed different from before. Asuka is the same way.”

”Everyone is changing for the better. But I’m curious—why was Asuka so angry? Did Ikari-kun ’discipline’ her again?”

The Class Rep lowered her voice, face full of curiosity. At that very moment, Chihaya and Ibuki were busy consoling a certain someone. Rei leaned in and whispered a few words, and both girls burst into laughter.

”It seems some things about Ikari-kun haven’t changed. How can he treat a girl like that?”

Hikari looked at the slightly schadenfreude-filled Rei and listened to the roars of ”I’m going to make him pay!” coming from outside the clubroom, her eyes narrowing slightly.

Ikari-kun and Rei were actually very similar; they were both excessively pure individuals, like sheets of paper. It was just that Rei was white, and Ikari-kun was blood-red. No matter the original color, through day-after-day interaction, they were being painted with more and more colors. As one of the people holding a brush, Hikari felt honored.

.

.

.

”What? You took down that Great Lady?”

At the same time, Shinji was leading a group of boys on a patrol around the campus. The classroom was already set up, and since he had told Misato he wouldn’t be back tonight, he wasn’t going to waste time.

”No. I maintained maximum restraint and neutralized an Asuka who had fallen into a berserk state.”

Shinji made a gesture with his hand. The boys imagined it for a moment, picturing someone having their head held down while venting impotent rage.

”Pfft, only you would dare to handle that Great Lady like that.”

Toji was filled with awe, shaking his head repeatedly. ”I can’t learn it, I really can’t. Anyway, it won’t be long before that girl is back to clinging to your side again.”

This was what they truly admired. They had heard of ”eating soft rice with a hard attitude” (relying on a woman while staying bossy), but they had never seen someone ”eat hard rice with a hard attitude.” They had never seen Shinji try to please anyone; he spent all day with a stiff face, radiating a terrifying aura, yet the girls still adored him. There was no logic to it.

”Are you concerned about the issue of finding a mate? Do you wish to obtain priority mating rights?”

Shinji had seen through them long ago, but this was the first time he had asked. The boys were excited and swarmed around him.

”Great Imperial Angel, we need your guidance.”

Looking at the pious faces, Shinji felt a bit odd, but the Emperor was all-powerful, and guiding human procreation was an important duty. He pondered for a moment. He didn’t actually know where his popularity came from, but he could work backward from the results.

’Hmm, what do I use to attract the opposite sex? Isn’t it obvious?’

”Strong power, a determined will, and a calm mindset. It is that simple.”

’Huh? That’s it?’

The boys were stunned and speechless.

’We can’t compare to you; we asked the wrong person.’

Just as disappointment surfaced, Kensuke Aida stepped forward, adjusting his glasses.

”Let me explain. This is all relative. For example, ’strong power’ doesn’t require us to pilot an EVA and save the world. We can work out and make our physiques strong. The same goes for ’determined will’—holding absolute faith in the Emperor will allow you to ignore all hardships.”

”As for a ’calm mindset,’ it means you shouldn’t be a ’simp.’ When you achieve the first two points, girls will throw themselves at you.”

’So that’s how it is!’

Everyone had an epiphany. Kensuke Aida was a living example; he used to be just a skinny otaku with glasses, but since hanging out with Shinji, he had bulked up significantly, and girls no longer called him ”creepy.”

”Is that right, Shinji?”

Shinji felt the explanation was slightly off, but since he wasn’t requiring these weak teenagers to serve in a Chapter, he nodded.

”Close enough. Priority mating rights are the most meaningless of gains, for strength itself means everything.”

”Praise the Emperor! Thank you for your guidance!”

Everyone knelt on one knee. They didn’t expect Shinji to be both a world-saver and a romance mentor. Being in the same class as him was such an honor.

’It turns out proselytizing in one’s home is this simple. I truly have the potential to be a Chaplain.’

Shinji also wore a satisfied expression. He felt he might even be doing better than some Chapter Chaplains. The Blood Ravens had once found records of a Blood Angels monastery in a ruin; their Chaplains were like broken records, repeating the same lines: ”What is your duty?”, ”What is the Emperor’s will?”, ”What is death?”.

”A good explanation.”

Shinji patted the boy’s shoulder and looked at the crowd.

”Remember, become strong for yourselves. You too have the chance to become guardians of the world. Compared to that endless glory, your current cravings are but a drop in the ocean.”

”We can pilot EVAs too?”

Toji blinked. He knew Kensuke had been pulled in for testing. He had originally thought it was a terrifying ordeal, but that thought had changed after the Ninth Angel. With the pilots exposed to the public eye, everyone—save for a few lunatics—praised them. Just as Shinji said, the EVAs were now humanity’s guardians, and the pilots were top-tier stars.

Indeed, being a pilot now came with many perks; it meant both fame and fortune.

”Do not obsess over ’can’ or ’cannot,’ but over ’dare’ or ’dare not.’ When your will is firm and you continue to grow stronger, you will naturally have the chance to obtain glory. Even if you cannot, simply digging a trench outside the city is a contribution to human continuity.

Remember, we are all currency for the continued survival of humanity. There is only a difference in value; the essence is the same.”

A natural sense of mission radiated from Shinji. As the first light of dawn broke, he seemed to glow. The boys’ blood boiled, and they shouted, ”The Emperor is on his throne!”

-

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-

”Let me see if that idiot Shinji is slacking off. He’s probably found a place to sleep.”

Asuka stretched. Her mood had improved significantly after being consoled by her friends. She stood by the window and looked out, her expression freezing instantly.

In the morning light, a group of shirtless boys were running laps around the field. The leader was clearly several sizes bulkier than the others, sweat dripping from muscles that looked carved by a knife.

That determined expression... it was as if he were charging toward an Angel.

’Huh? What are these people doing?’

Asuka rubbed her eyes and quickly walked back into the clubroom.

’Yeah, I need to take a nap. Pulling this all-nighter has given me hallucinations.’

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