The Trash Returned from Warhammer

”That idiot Shinji, being all mysterious all day... I bet he’s off doing some secret training.”

In the classroom, Asuka propped her head up with her hand, swinging her legs and yawning repeatedly. She had waited up all night for Shinji to return, but he never showed, leaving her listless during class today.

”Honestly, I was waiting for him to tell me his thoughts on my battle performance.”

”Do you want Shinji-kun to praise you that much?”

Rei Ayanami was leafing through a book without looking up. Occasionally, a piece of letter paper was passed over from the side, and she would numbly sign her name on it. She didn’t quite understand why this was happening, but she knew that she and Asuka had become completely famous.

Because of the emergency power outage in Tokyo-3, citizens had to take shelter nearby, meaning the battle was no longer a secret. In fact, since the time of Sachiel, the EVAs and the monsters called Angels hadn’t exactly been a mystery. With so many people living in the city, and two giants tens of meters tall engaged in a fierce brawl, people weren’t blind. Anyone with a Nokia phone could record it and spread it across the world via the internet. NERV’s so-called ”secrecy” was essentially burying its head in the sand.

By now, everyone knew humanity was at war with monsters. Ordinary people just didn’t understand why those monsters kept attacking Tokyo-3, but they saw it as a good thing—better to have someone drawing the ”aggro” here than to have monsters demolishing New York, London, or Frankfurt. As for world governments, they knew a bit more; they understood the true nature of the Second Impact and knew that ”Adam” was held beneath NERV headquarters, which is why they provided a continuous stream of resources.

But this time was special.

Too many people had filmed the entire combat process, allowing ordinary people worldwide to see with their own eyes just how terrifying the enemy of humanity was. The indescribable, bizarre forms, the limbs stretching thousands of meters, destroying the city with ease—the so-called ”heavy firepower” looked like toys before them. It was no exaggeration to say that every Angel could be seen as a final boss in a video game.

Simultaneously, they saw what the heroes protecting humanity looked like. It was no longer just a few blurry photos, but giant robots exceeding human imagination. More importantly, it was the pilots.

Girls. Beautiful young girls who looked to be in their teens. Asuka and Rei were already pretty; paired with hideous monsters and giant robots, the public felt both heartache and self-reproach, and it drove ”otaku” worldwide wild.

Beautiful girls and giant robots are eternal topics. Add the halo of a hero, and their popularity rivaled top-tier celebrities. Some organizations were even protesting, asking how the government could let children fight, calling it a violation of human rights.

”Hmph, who wants his praise? I’m too busy as it is.”

Asuka gave a ”tch,” but hearing someone shout ”Asuka, give us a smile!” she turned her head, flashed a warm, enthusiastic smile, and made a V-sign.

Rei licked her lips, glancing at the lively classroom out of the corner of her eye—or rather, the corridor outside, which was also packed with students. Members of the photography club were pressing their shutters so fast they were practically creating sparks.

”This... this seems a bit much. The existence of the pilots is supposed to be top secret.” Rei felt a bit uncomfortable.

”What secret? It’s already spread all over the world. Besides, we’re not doing anything bad, why hide our faces?” Asuka was thrilled. Her purpose in piloting the EVA was to prove her self-worth; she had fantasized countless times about being the center of attention, and now her dream had come true.

”The secret wasn’t exposed by us. Who told NERV to have a sudden blackout? Doesn’t it feel good to be trusted, watched, and thanked by everyone?”

”Uh, I just feel a bit unadjusted.” Rei shook her head. Her world had changed too much, and it was hard to process. Just a few months ago, she was the ”invisible girl” of Class 2-A; now she was a superstar. Even going to the restroom, someone would ask if she needed paper—and if she didn’t, they’d give her their whole stash.

As she was thinking, a pair of warm hands pressed against her face, pinching the corners of her mouth into an upward curve.

”Oh, come on, smile! Didn’t that guy say: ’Effort brings rewards, and heroes who save the world deserve to enjoy the glory’?”

”Mm. Shinji-kun is right.”

Rei immediately nodded, ducked away from the hands on her face, turned her head, and let out a smile, which instantly triggered a wave of fanatical cheering.

”Hey, hey, hey! So what I said isn’t right, is that it?” Asuka was a bit annoyed by these idiots’ reactions.

’I’ve been smiling for so long and you didn’t cheer, but look at the dull Rei...’

Then again, she felt it was fine to let Rei share some of the credit.

”Don’t worry. Once the news spreads on the internet, it’s impossible to delete. Misato and the others will handle the security. The two of us just need to maintain our ’pilot image.’ It’s not like we’re the ones who have to work overtime anyway.”

”Maintain a pilot image? Like picking my nose in class?”

”I’ve never done that! Wait... did I really? Oh no, if someone took a photo, my ’beautiful girl’ persona will collapse!”

The two began bickering. Asuka was right about one thing: the Security and Intelligence Department of NERV was currently working themselves to death. Fortunately, Tokyo-3 already had strict screening, so ordinary people couldn’t get in, and safety was still guaranteed. Of course, the Public Relations department was in trouble; they couldn’t expose the true nature of the pilots, yet they had to deal with inquiries from various countries.

’You guys leaked the secret with your blackout, and now we have to handle all these minor protection organizations—who’s going to take the blame for this?’

Another person who was busy was the Class Rep, Hikari Horaki. She, along with Toji Suzuhara and the others, had finally managed to chase the students from other classes away and close all the doors and windows before breathing a sigh of relief.

”Sigh, our class suddenly has two big superstars. Hey, superstars, you want to eat?”

”Hikari, stop being so sarcastic. If you’re jealous, go try it yourself next time.” Asuka joked back, not minding the banter between friends.

”I wouldn’t dare. When I saw you two fighting that monster, I was scared to death.” Ibuki was full of admiration, grabbing Asuka’s hand. ”Thank you for protecting us. Tsk tsk, I never realized you had this kind of skill.”

”I have plenty of skills; I’ll show you more next time.” Asuka raised her head, nearly letting out her sharp, signature laugh.

”Like the skill to chase boys? You’re not as good as me at that.”

”You’re asking for it!”

Rei watched the two of them play around, realizing Asuka was right—this was a good thing. Their classmates didn’t ostracize them for piloting the EVAs; at least, normal people wouldn’t ostracize their saviors. Even the slight jealousy vanished after seeing the battle. This popularity was earned through blood; everyone else’s legs went weak at the sight of an Angel, let alone piloting a robot to fight one.

With the foundation laid by Shinji, Class 2-A was now unprecedentedly united. Everyone took pride in having two heroes by their side, spontaneously protecting them and even feeling a sense of superiority over other classes.

”I have to say, your popularity is really high. Do you know what they’re saying online?” Hikari Horaki walked over with her lunchbox, looking exhausted but smiling.

”One ’Girl of Fire’ and one ’Girl of Ice.’ It’s quite fitting.”

”What a terrible name! Are they all otaku from the last century?” Asuka sat down roughly, though her emotional intelligence was higher than before as she whispered, ”Class Rep, thanks for your hard work.”

”It’s fine, this is all I can do. The people in school are just too excited. Actually, the people at NERV are the ones working the hardest.”

They looked out the window to see that the security at First Municipal Middle School had increased several times over. Those burly guards clearly weren’t your average ”mall security.”

”Tch, they can’t fight Angels anyway, they might as well find something to do so they aren’t just ’tax thieves’.” Asuka didn’t see an issue; this was the job of the Security and Intelligence Department.

”Do you think if we debuted right now, we’d become top-tier idols?” Chihaya Rin suddenly threw out a topic, her eyes sparkling. The school festival was coming up, and their band’s material was solid; with Asuka and Rei’s popularity, wouldn’t they become superstars instantly?

”Forget it. In terms of anime genres, we’re a mecha show, not an idol show.” Ibuki was eating while playing on her phone, then suddenly burst out laughing. ”Look at this ’Kichiku’ parody, it’s hilarious.”

She was a shut-in who had been browsing the web intensely lately. She found that their popularity was multi-faceted, such as this middle-aged man talking serious nonsense:

[Winning against the 3rd Angel, winning against the 4th, winning against the 5th... after this, there’s nothing left to win. How do we explain?]

[Face, my whole face is done for!]

”Pfft, you two are going to become ’Kichiku All-Stars’ sooner or later! Especially ’Ka’ (Asuka), you don’t really watch your image sometimes, be careful in the future.”

Asuka had been happy, but she suddenly turned around with a look of horror: ”Did I... did I really pick my nose?”

”Uh, didn’t you take off your shoes and pick your feet during rehearsal?”

”Alright, alright, stop teasing her.” Hikari Horaki saw Asuka looking like she was ready to jump off the roof and quickly interrupted.

”The two of them have to protect all of humanity; don’t let these little things affect them. By the way, you guys aren’t actually being affected, right?”

Popularity and bands were just seasonings in daily life. The pilots’ mission was to fight Angels; if they got distracted, it would be putting the cart before the horse.

”Don’t worry. With Shinji-kun around, he won’t let Asuka go overboard.” Rei added quietly, instantly making the Class Rep relax.

”Right, right. With Ikari-kun here, everything will be fine. Oh? Why is Ikari-kun absent today?”

As she spoke, she suddenly felt the classroom go quiet. She turned to see the youth standing at the door, and the students in the corridor had already scattered.

Shinji had a presence that made people’s eyes turn ”clear”—because of this aura, no matter how popular Rei and Asuka were, no one dared write them love letters. And because of this aura, when his indifferent gaze swept over, Asuka subconsciously lowered her head.

She also felt she had been acting a bit too out of line and was afraid Shinji would disapprove. But after a moment, she looked up again and glared back at him.

’Wait a minute, he’s not my dad, what right does he have to control me?’

’Good, everything is as usual.’

Seeing Asuka’s conflicted state, Shinji actually felt relieved. He had heard about the storm on his way back from the ”offline private chat.” SEELE had even held a short meeting about it. Later, the elders felt it wasn’t important; Unit-00 and Unit-02 were essentially consumables anyway. Since all humanity would eventually become one, it didn’t matter if these kids made a scene. They couldn’t exactly claim the Angels and EVAs were just CG animation.

As for how he knew? Naturally, he’d had a nice chat with the old man named Saionji.

There wasn’t much to say about the process: with the detailed map provided by the ”Owls,” the Blood Ravens had ten thousand ways to infiltrate. It was just that in the past, he ”took things into custody”; this time, it was a heart-to-heart talk.

”Hey, where did you actually go?” Asuka felt her skin crawl under his gaze and was forced to speak first.

”Chatting with someone. Just got back.” Shinji returned to his seat, nodding to Kensuke and the others.

”Man or woman? What did you talk about? (German)” Asuka asked instinctively, but seeing Shinji look over, she turned her head away.

”Was it interesting? Going out specifically just to talk to someone.”

”Boring to death. Nowhere near as interesting as being with you.”

Shinji let out a yawn, only to see Asuka instantly stand up, her face flushed crimson, while Hikari and the others cast meaningful glances.

’Oh, how bold.’

”What kind of nonsense are you suddenly saying! A-a-anyway, I’m bored to death being with you! No, there’s only a tiny bit of interest! If you’re so smart, tell me—who’s more interesting, me or Rei!?”

Shinji had absolutely no idea why Asuka’s reaction was so extreme, because he was simply telling the truth.

In front of an old man nearing his end, tearing his most trusted confidant and strongest bodyguard into shredded meat, with hundreds of people in the entire mansion offering no reaction... staring into those confused and terrified eyes while thrusting a blade of psychic energy into an AT Field...

It really was boring.

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