The Trash Returned from Warhammer

”Ah, you’re finally back.”

The moment Shinji stepped through the door, he saw Misato Katsuragi drinking in the living room. The woman had her stockings half-removed and her feet propped up on the coffee table, looking every bit like a total slacker.

”Yes. I had some business to attend to.”

Shinji put down his school bag and asked casually, ”Where did Asuka and Rei go? There’s no one next door either.”

”Hey, hey, hey! You have such a beautiful woman sitting right here, and the first thing you do is ask about other girls?”

Misato was visibly annoyed, but then answered, ”They went shopping after rehearsal. Said they were going to sing karaoke. Security is protecting them in the shadows, so don’t worry.”

Shinji, of course, wasn’t worried. His psychic puppets had one major advantage: absolute loyalty. If anyone dared to threaten Asuka or the others, they would literally throw themselves in front of a bullet without blinking.

He glanced around the room and saw the table covered with leftovers, causing him to frown. ”Did you cook today?”

”As if! Rei made it all. The taste is quite good~”

Shinji knew Rei had been practicing her culinary skills; he often saw band-aids on her fingers. He walked over and picked up a piece of braised eggplant. Though it was cold, he nodded.

”The seasoning is balanced. Rei put a lot of effort into this.”

”More than that. The little savings she had squirrelled away are almost gone. I didn’t realize Rei was such a perfectionist.”

”Perfectionism is not a positive term,” Shinji cautioned.

He walked back to the living room and frowned again at Misato’s lazy posture.

”Go change your clothes already. Propping your feet on the coffee table after wearing leather shoes all day is very unhygienic.”

’Unhygienic?’

Misato looked at her own legs in black stockings and actually leaned in to take a sniff.

”What are you talking about? They don’t smell at all. Fine, fine, stop lecturing, I’ll take them off.”

The woman reached out, slid her hands down her thighs, peeled off the black stockings, and tossed them aside. She sat up slightly straighter.

”You guys have been skipping out a lot lately. You only show up at headquarters once every other day now.”

”Until the Ito team completes several major designs, going to headquarters is just a waste of time. We’ve run the old simulations too many times, and synchronization rates can’t be improved through training anymore. Rather, keeping the pilots in a good mood is what improves synchro rates—just look at Asuka’s, which went up by 7% recently.”

This long-winded technical explanation left Misato, who had wanted to use the topic to tease him, completely stunned. When she slacked off, she at least tried to find an excuse; Shinji slacked off by directly stating that going to work was a waste of time—and the worst part was that he was right.

”You—what kind of excuse is that?”

”It is not an excuse, but a pursuit of efficiency.”

”Then can I pursue ’efficiency’ too?”

”No. As the Operations Director, you have a vast amount of administrative work.”

Shinji glanced at the huffing Misato and took control of the conversation.

”Speaking of which, tomorrow you should find an opportunity to move Unit-00 and Unit-02 to Launch Port L4 under the guise of an experiment.”

Launch Port L4 was the area closest to the surface. Misato’s brow furrowed immediately.

”You definitely have something you’re hiding from me. Tell me, have you been skipping work lately to avoid some kind of trouble?”

She had actually guessed correctly, though Shinji wasn’t ”fleeing.” It was a tactic of showing weakness to the enemy: if he didn’t even go to NERV, SEELE naturally wouldn’t suspect him, focusing all their energy on Gendo Ikari.

”It’s not exactly trouble. I’m just taking the opportunity to deal with certain people.”

”Commander Ikari?” Misato’s expression tightened.

”He is not worthy of my schemes. Don’t ask too many questions. Follow my orders, and there will be no accidents.”

Misato pursed her lips. She wasn’t an idiot; she knew there were powers behind NERV, but as an adult, she felt a sense of shame. It was bad enough that a young boy had to pilot an EVA to fight Angels; did he have to shoulder this kind of burden as well?

”I can help. I’m not afraid of danger—”

Before she could finish, Shinji’s finger rested against her lips. Looking into her slightly trembling eyes, he said deeply, ”You have been helping all along. You don’t need to do any more. Remember what I said when the Intelligence Department was investigating?”

Misato nodded. She wouldn’t forget.

’No need for doubt, no need for hesitation. I will solve all the problems.’

”This is the biggest difference between you and Commander Ikari. No wonder Rei fell for you.”

She suddenly laughed and explained softly, ”Commander Ikari treats everyone as a tool. Even if they can only be used for a tiny bit, he will exhaust them without hesitation. But you treat us as friends.”

This was the difference between ”Go forth!” and ”Follow me!” No matter what enemy Shinji faced, he was always thinking about how he could personally do his best.

”I am not as good as you imagine. This is merely making the best use of resources.”

Shinji didn’t indulge in self-sentiment. He would use people like Ryoji Kaji without hesitation, but Misato wasn’t suited for this specific arena; involving her would be inefficient.

”Hmph, how did you pick up Asuka’s bad habits? But fine, I accept your kindness. Since the invincible Shinji-sama is solving the problems, why should I worry?”

Misato stretched, showing off her perfect figure, but she stole a glance at the boy beside her. Seeing his eyes fixed straight ahead, she curled her lip slightly.

’Tsk, no fun at all.’

”By the way, have you ever considered what comes after the war?” she asked out of the blue.

”After the war?”

Shinji turned his head to look at her. After a pause, he shook his head. ”I have never considered it.”

”Hey! You don’t think the Angels are never-ending, do you? That thought is more painful than killing me!”

Shinji used to truly believe that war was endless. Constant warfare was more familiar to an Astartes. But after learning the contents of the Dead Sea Scrolls, he suddenly realized that the war in this world had an end. Thus, it was worth thinking about.

Post-war life—this was the most alien question possible for an Astartes. Shinji thought for a long time before answering, ”I don’t know. Do you have a suggestion?”

”To return to a normal life, of course! Get a wife, have a bunch of kids, and enjoy peace to your heart’s content.”

Misato grew excited as she spoke. It could be said that everyone at NERV, from top to bottom, had fantasized about life after the war.

”I have heard those words countless times,” Shinji said, looking at her silently.

”Huh? Who else told you that?”

”Mortals of the PDF and the Imperial Guard. But every person who said those words died. Without exception.”

”Dammit, can’t you wish for something better?”

Misato punched Shinji in the shoulder and huffed.

”Regardless, it’s bound to happen sooner or later. You’d better think about how to live when there’s no need to fight. Actually, I’ve always been a bit worried.

For someone like you, what will you do if you can’t enjoy peaceful times? I’ve seen people like that before.”

Her eyes were filled with concern. This world didn’t just have the war between humans and Angels; since the Second Impact, Earth had never been quiet. It had bred a large number of ”war animals” who simply could not return to a normal society.

Her worry was well-founded. Compared to Shinji, even the most battle-hardened mercenary didn’t possess one-millionth of his experience. Even Shinji himself couldn’t remember how many biological entities he had slain.

A hundred thousand? A million?

”So, what is your suggestion?”

”This is your life. I have no right to interfere.”

Misato sat up straight; perhaps this was the first time she was truly performing her duty as a ”guardian.” ”I can only suggest that you choose the life you like best. No matter what decision you make, I will support you.”

’The life I like best?’

Shinji glanced at the living room: the leftovers on the table, the warm lighting, the penguin that had just finished its bath, and the increasing noise of voices outside the door.

”I have to admit, you’re better at singing.”

”Asuka, you learned very quickly too.”

”Hmph, I told you I was a genius. By the way, is that cake in your hand for that idiot?”

”Yes, it’s for Ikari-kun. Didn’t you bring him fruit tea as well?”

”I—I just felt sorry for him! I brought a cup out of the goodness of my heart!”

The lock turned, and two girls in casual clothes walked in while teasing each other. They saw Shinji sitting properly and Misato looking serious.

”What are you two doing? Why haven’t you cleared the table? Misato! You’re leaving your stockings lying around again!”

Asuka hopped over, grumbling as she stuffed the fruit tea into Shinji’s hand.

”Here, I brought this for you. Remember to pay me back later.”

The coldness in his hand brought Shinji back to his senses. He looked at Asuka, who stood with her hands on her hips looking arrogant, and at Rei, who was handing over the cake with a gentle expression.

’The life I like best?’

It was precisely this moment.

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