Rebirth before Apocalypse: My Whole Family are Bigshots!

”Old Bai, you died so tragically! Didn’t even say goodbye to us before you went!”

Uncle Wang’s loud voice rang out in the darkness.

”Shhh! Keep it down! Don’t let anyone hear!”

Bai Yifan heard Uncle Wang’s booming voice and quickly reached out to tug at the two older men, signaling them not to cry out loud.

It could easily get them beaten.

”Why keep it down? Your grandpa died so tragically! And you don’t want us to cry?”

Uncle Wang continued to cry powerfully, with a cadence to his sobs.

He genuinely thought Bai Zhengxuan had passed, which is why he was crying so sorrowfully.

”Who died so tragically?”

A chilling voice came from behind Uncle Wang.

”My brother Old Bai died tragically!”

Uncle Wang cried and replied, turning instinctively to see who was speaking.

As he turned, he saw Bai Zhengxuan’s gloomy face.

”Uh—”

The cry got stuck in his throat instantly, and Uncle Wang almost choked himself in surprise.

He’d seen a ghost!

”Old Bai, do you... have any unfinished wishes?”

Uncle Wang wasn’t afraid of zombies, but he was afraid of ghosts.

Because a green garbage truck could run over zombies, but it couldn’t run over ghosts; physical attacks were useless against ghosts.

His legs started shaking subconsciously.

”No unfulfilled wishes, just want to take you all with me.”

Bai Zhengxuan looked at Uncle Wang expressionlessly, then pointed at each of the Bai family, saying, ”All of you, have to come along.”

He pointed at everyone, except Bai Xiqin.

He pointed at Bai Anhai a few extra times, almost poking him in the face.

It seemed he ”loved” him the most that way.

Bai Anhai: ...

”Old Bai, you’re... not dead?”

Uncle Liu was the first to realize Bai Zhengxuan was alive, because there was a strong smell of braised shrimp on him.

”Who said I was dead?”

Bai Zhengxuan glanced at the metal basin with half-burnt joss paper, the veins on his forehead throbbing.

He didn’t know how to explain to his family that he and his future self hadn’t disappeared—they were the same person.

Why were they burning joss paper for him?

Pissed him off!

Made him want to hit someone!

”If you’re not dead, then why are they wasting paper?”

As soon as Uncle Wang heard Bai Zhengxuan wasn’t dead, he instantly regained his energy, wiped away his tears, and looked spirited.

”Just burning it ourselves for fun, to stash some money in the afterlife ahead of time, afraid that once we’re dead we won’t measure up to others.”

Bai Yifan glanced weakly at Bai Zhengxuan.

He wasn’t sure if his grandpa would believe him saying that.

Anyway, he believed it.

”That’s a good idea! I’ll burn some for myself later, so I won’t be penniless down there!”

Uncle Wang grinned, thinking it was quite a clever idea.

”Right! Certainly a great idea, let’s go, Old Wang, let’s go burn paper at home!”

Uncle Liu grabbed Uncle Wang’s arm and turned to leave.

Seeing Bai Zhengxuan’s face as dark as coal, Wang and Liu decisively took their leave.

Afraid of getting beaten!

Crying at a wake at night is really inauspicious.

Wishing Old Bai a long life while staying healthy and nimble to continue making sauce-braised pork knuckles...

”You all, come in!”

Liu Jing emerged from the back, glanced coolly at the Bai family, pointed a vegetable knife at Bai Anhai, and said,

”Was it you who started this?”

”It wasn’t me, it was Xiao Niu who couldn’t tell if your future selves had died, so she wanted to stash some joss paper for you ahead of time,” Bai Anhai said in a low voice.

Whatever.

Anyway, he was sure his parents wouldn’t hit their daughter, so saying this should be fine.

”Yeah! Sis was concerned about you and wanted us to burn the joss paper! There’s absolutely no intention of cursing Grandpa and Grandma.”

Bai Yifan decisively placed the blame on Bai Xiqin.

”Ah? I don’t know anything; I was just there for the bonfire!”

Wang Yiyun shrugged, looking innocent.

”Ahem.”

Leng Yebai didn’t say anything, but he quietly stood behind Bai Xiqin.

He definitely wasn’t hiding behind Bai Xiqin out of fear; he just wanted to be the man behind Bai Xiqin!

”Is what they’re saying true?”

Bai Zhengxuan looked at Bai Xiqin, hands on hips and glaring eyes, appearing very stern.

”Ahem, perhaps, maybe, possibly, it’s true... I suppose?”

Bai Xiqin took the blame.

She thought she might be able to escape this beating.

”Bang!” Liu Jing heavily placed the vegetable knife on the table, angrily pointing at the men behind Bai Xiqin, ”Is this how you bully Xiao Niu?”

Look at how her precious granddaughter was bullied like this, it was too pitiful.

She’d become the scapegoat.

”Xiao Niu, come here, it’s time for dinner, don’t go hungry, and don’t get mistakenly hurt.”

Bai Zhengxuan pulled Bai Xiqin over and sat her down on the sofa.

Then, smiling, he began peeling shrimp and dishing out food for Bai Xiqin.

There was a whole table full of delicious food—oriental shrimp, braised pork, squirrel fish, chicken stewed with mushrooms...

All piled in front of Bai Xiqin, as if afraid she wouldn’t get enough to eat.

In the bus, Liu Jing’s voice scolded the Bai family, who stood there silently... watching Bai Xiqin eat.

”Grandpa, it really was my idea. They didn’t make me take the blame, and they didn’t frighten me; I insisted on burning the joss paper alone. It has nothing to do with my dad, mom, brother, or Leng Yebai!”

Bai Xiqin spoke with her mouth stuffed full, her eyes wide and looking pure and harmless.

”Bang!”

Hearing Bai Xiqin’s words, Liu Jing slapped the table again in anger. Looking at Bai Xiqin’s innocent and harmless demeanor, no table slap could quell her anger.

So she decisively slapped Bai Yifan, Leng Yebai, and Bai Anhai again.

Leng Yebai stood there, a slight twitch in the corner of his mouth, bending down to accommodate Liu Jing’s height.

”Sis, I’m begging you, please stop.” Bai Yifan whispered.

It was his first time being struck by Grandma, and... it actually hurt.

Whatever Sis says now, it’s the men of the Bai family who are getting hit!

”Oh, then I won’t say it anymore.”

Bai Xiqin nodded to herself and happily continued eating.

”You dare threaten your sister?” Liu Jing abruptly turned to Bai Yifan, her finger poised to land on him.

”No! I absolutely didn’t mean to threaten!” Bai Yifan’s eyes filled with fear.

Heavens help him, he’d never dare threaten Sis!

Also, isn’t this favoritism a bit too obvious?

He was pleading, so how is that a threat?

”Grandma, is your hearing not good?”

Bai Yifan swore he didn’t mean to suggest Grandma was deaf; he genuinely thought she might have not picked up on his pleading tone earlier.

”No dinner for you today!”

Liu Jing pointed at Bai Yifan’s forehead, not hitting him, but barring him from dinner.

”Bang!”

She turned and slapped Bai Anhai’s shoulder.

She still found it more naturally convenient to strike the children she’d raised since they were young.

Bai Anhai: ...

”Mom, can I eat?”

Wang Yiyun timidly raised her hand, touched her stomach, and looked pitifully at Liu Jing.

”Daughter, go eat!”

Liu Jing’s expression softened a bit, and she stepped aside to let Wang Yiyun go eat.

Wang Yiyun cheerfully sat on the sofa, starting to feast alongside her daughter.

Meanwhile, Leng Yebai, Bai Yifan, and Bai Anhai were punished to stand, with no dinner, watching Bai Xiqin and Wang Yiyun wolf down food and drinks.

Liu Jing, who had been scolding them a moment ago, turned and spoke to Bai Xiqin with a smile of grandmotherly warmth.

”Xiao Niu, try this, it’s delicious.” Liu Jing said softly as she placed a piece of meat in Xiao Niu’s bowl, then turned to the three men with a sinister look, ”You all, stand straight! Be ready to do the dishes later!”

Leng Yebai: ...

Bai Yifan: ...

Bai Anhai: ...