From Folly to Fortune：I Rewrite My Life After Rebirth!

Old Mu Family, second branch—

Mrs. Lin secretly used the Old Mu Family’s teapot to boil water and poured it over the chicken that had already been bled and was dead.

She and Mu Dazhong happily plucked the chicken feathers together.

In no time, all the feathers on the chicken were cleanly removed.

”Daddy Gou Dan, what should we do with this chicken?” Mrs. Lin asked.

”Cook it, but we definitely can’t use the pot; Mom will find out! But roasting is different, we just need to steal some firewood and make a rack to roast it!”

Mrs. Lin salivated on the side.

”Mom is really dumb, when I took the teapot earlier, I heard her causing a scene at the third branch. She must think the chicken was stolen by the third branch!”

”Hehe, Mom definitely doesn’t know I’m back either!”

Mrs. Lin and Mu Dazhong were chatting back and forth, their faces beaming with a smile so bright it was almost blinding.

Just at this moment, outside the second branch, Old Mrs. Mu’s furious curses echoed: ”Lin Xiaozao, you stinking woman, tell me, did you steal the chicken!”

Those words scared the wits out of Mu Dazhong and Mrs. Lin.

”What to do, what to do, your mom is coming...” Mrs. Lin said in a panic.

”How would I know, what... what about the chicken? Where do we hide it?” Mu Dazhong held up the chicken and asked.

”It won’t help hiding it anywhere, Mom will find it. You know her skill in finding things, she will search the kang, the cupboard, everywhere!”

As the two were discussing countermeasures, the sound of Old Mrs. Mu kicking the door came from outside.

”Lin Xiaozao, Lin Xiaozao...”

Mu Xiangxiang added fuel to the fire on the side, ”Mom, it’s been so long and they haven’t come out, there must be something fishy! Mom, it was Lin Xiaozao who stole the chicken!”

Old Mrs. Mu’s door-kicking became increasingly loud, ”Lin Xiaozao, if you don’t open the door now, I’ll strip you naked at the village gate today and let the men in the village see the fate of a thief like you!”

Mrs. Lin broke out in a cold sweat.

At this moment, Mu Dazhong’s gaze fell upon the piss bucket in the corner that had been forgotten to be thrown out in the morning.

”Go, pour the urine from the bucket into the teapot!” Mu Dazhong said.

”What? The piss bucket... Mu Dazhong, are you out of your mind?” Mrs. Lin asked.

”If you don’t want to die, just do as I say!”

Mrs. Lin suppressed her nausea and actually poured the urine into the teapot.

After that, the plucked chicken, along with the feathers, were all dumped into the bucket.

Before Mrs. Lin could react, Mu Dazhong pulled down his pants and sat on the bucket.

Mrs. Lin came to her senses and pointed at Mu Dazhong, trembling all over, ”You... you...”

”What me, if you don’t want to die, go open the door, I’ll explain later!”

Mrs. Lin hurried to open the door, and as soon as it opened, Old Mrs. Mu rushed in like a bandit.

Seeing Mu Dazhong, she was first startled, then noticed Mu Dazhong squatting on the bucket, and asked, ”When did you get back, son? And why aren’t you wearing pants?”

”Mom, I can’t greet you now, I just came back and my stomach is really hurting, so I’m doing my business here, and also got some on my pants, so I wanted Gou Dan’s mother to boil some water for me to wash up!”

”Yes, yes, Mom, the water is ready already!” Mrs. Lin shook the teapot in her hand.

Old Mrs. Mu started rummaging around the house, turning over the cupboard, the kang, in the corners, she searched everywhere.

But there was nothing!

Could it be, it really wasn’t the second branch who stole it?

If it wasn’t the third branch or the second branch, then who could it be?

Old Mrs. Mu was about to leave when her eyes inadvertently fell upon the bucket under Mu Dazhong’s buttocks.

There seemed to be something white in there, looking like chicken feathers.

”Son, move your butt for me!” Old Mrs. Mu commanded.

Mu Dazhong’s butt clenched tightly, subconsciously lowered it.

Lowering it was a mistake; as soon as he did, his backside almost got cooked.

The water Mrs. Lin and he used to pluck the feathers was boiling, and in the heat, the water hadn’t cooled much.

Mu Dazhong nearly cried out but knew he couldn’t, if he did, it would be all over.

”Mom, you don’t think I’d hide a chicken under my bum, do you?”

Mu Dazhong squeezed out these words between his teeth, followed by ”Pff... pff... pff”

Three consecutive loud farts filled the room with a foul smell.

Old Mrs. Mu rushed out in disgust.

She kept waving her hand in front of her nose, trying to dispel the odor.

Mrs. Lin was so overwhelmed by the smell that she was almost in a daze.

If not for the teapot full of urine she was holding, she might have collapsed on the floor.

”Mom, I told you, don’t look, I... I just have a stomach upset!” Mu Dazhong said.

Old Mrs. Mu looked at the two in the room and refused to enter.

”Hmph, a doghouse is a doghouse, so dirty and smelly! Lin Xiaozao, you’d better not have stolen my chicken, if I find out later that it was you, you’re dead meat!”

Mrs. Lin nodded repeatedly, humbly before Old Mrs. Mu.

”You’re right, Mom, but the chicken really wasn’t stolen by me, you’ve checked, right, it’s not here, is it?

I think you should check with the neighbors; maybe our hen wandered into someone else’s chicken coop?”

Mu Dazhong also smiled along, ”Yes, Mom, the sooner you handle this, the better, to avoid further trouble down the road. If a neighbor took it, they definitely won’t return it!”

Old Mrs. Mu rolled her eyes, thinking it made sense.

If no one in the family stole it, then it couldn’t be a family thief; it must be someone from outside!

”Xiangxiang, Zhenzhen, we’ll go search every house, I refuse to believe we can’t find it!”

With this, Old Mrs. Mu led her daughters out.

Mrs. Lin and Mu Dazhong breathed a sigh of relief.

But then the pain hit his backside.

Mu Dazhong tried to get off the bucket but found that his butt was stuck to it.

”Ah—”

Mu Dazhong screamed miserably, and Mrs. Lin hurriedly squatted down.

”What’s wrong, what’s wrong?”

”My bum, my bum, it’s burning up... hurry, separate the bucket from my butt!”

Mrs. Lin glanced at Mu Dazhong’s fair behind and remembered the chicken in the bucket.

She quickly moved up, one pulling, the other tugging; they finally freed Mu Dazhong.

Mu Dazhong’s bum was already scalded raw.

The originally white skin had turned red and swollen, and even had chicken feathers stuck to it.

”Quick, get some vinegar...” Mu Dazhong urged.

”But what about the chicken?” Mrs. Lin looked regretfully at the chicken in the bucket.

”Are you stupid? Bring it along, pour out the stuff from the teapot too!”

Mu Dazhong had put in so much effort; there was no way he was leaving the chicken behind.

So what if it was in a bucket of piss?

In times of hunger, even shit gets eaten, so what’s this say?

”Okay, I’ll... I’ll go now, just wait!” Mrs. Lin said.

She rushed out and came back a short while later.

”Daddy Gou Dan, make sure to guard the chicken well, don’t let Mom find it...”