As Aizen in Naruto and Joined a Chat Group

Chapter 108 - 108: The Kind Big Sister Is Here!

Machete Girl: No way, Gintoki still wet the bed at 19?

Wig Guy: Of course it’s true. That’s how he got the nickname ”Bedwetting Prince.” Takasugi and Tatsuma made fun of him for ages. After that, he’d wear diapers to bed every night.

Doujin Artist: Wearing diapers to bed? That must’ve been super uncomfortable.

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: This Gintoki is way different from what I expected!

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: Right? I thought he was just a weirdo online, but he’s even worse in real life!

Wig Guy: And I haven’t even talked about what happened after he turned 20. If I told you guys that, it would really blow your minds. And I, Katsura Kotaro, swear everything I say here is the truth! Even if he were here right now, I’d still say it to his face!

Curly-haired Guy: Oh?

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Whoa, is Gintoki back?

Doujin Artist: Katsura, hurry up and say it! He’s here now, say it to his face!

Wig Guy: Ahem. Um... I think I ate something bad. Gotta go to the hospital. Let’s talk another time.

Curly-haired Guy: No way. I’m coming over right now with medicine for your stomach. You better spill it—what happened to me after I turned 20?!

Wig Guy: ”After turning twenty, Gintoki became really handsome.”

Doujin Artist: ”?”

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: ”?”

Machete Girl: ”?”

Wig Guy: ”Yes! After twenty, Gintoki was known in our Joi group as the most handsome guy! People called him the social butterfly!”

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: ”’Social butterfly’ is something you say about girls, isn’t it? And even then, it’s not exactly a compliment!”

Wig Guy: ”No need to get hung up on little things. The point is, everyone liked Gintoki since we were young.”

Doujin Artist: ”That’s not what you said earlier! You said he peeked at a granny bathing when he was six, read dirty books at nine, flirted with elementary school girls at twelve, and wet the bed at nineteen... total disgrace to humanity!”

Curly-haired Guy: ”Katsura, have you already decided how you want to die?”

Shark-Faced Guy: ”He just vanished. Disappeared so fast.”

Machete Girl: ”Fled out of guilt, clearly.”

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: ”So... all that stuff he said just now was fake?”

Amegakure Village’s Angel: ”Of course it was. From the moment he called himself the Death Singer or whatever, I knew he was full of it. Mochou, you didn’t really believe it, did you?”

Doujin Artist: ”No way, no way. Mochou, you didn’t actually fall for that nonsense, right?”

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: ”O-of course not!”

Li Mochou’s face was burning red—like it was on fire. Clearly, she *had* believed it, but there was no way she’d admit to getting fooled by some idiot in front of everyone.

Curly-haired Guy: ”That bastard... I’ll get him one day! He ruined my name!”

Doujin Artist: ”Huh? What name? Like you had one to begin with!”

Curly-haired Guy: ”Well, now I do! Starting today, I, Gintoki, am the Vice President of the Yoshiwara Shadow Society! My name now represents Yoshiwara!”

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: ”?”

Amegakure Village’s Angel: ”Yoshiwara Shadow Society?”

Doujin Artist: ”Where the heck did this group come from? I’ve never heard of it!”

Curly-haired Guy: ”Of course you haven’t. It was founded by our great leader, the Night King Aizen. [image]”

In the picture, Aizen is dressed in white, sitting at a desk holding a cup of black tea. Tsukuyo and Gintoki stand smiling on either side of him.

Machete Girl: ”What a surprise!”

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: ”So Tsukuyo’s already joined you guys? Didn’t hear a single rumor about that—your secrecy game is strong.”

Doujin Artist: ”I get it now! So when you left the chat earlier, it was for this?”

Curly-haired Guy: ”Hmph, of course. When I’m not in the group chat, it’s because I’ve got more important stuff to do! Only a mission this grand would be worthy of someone as great as me!”

Doujin Artist: ”Great my ass. You just love patting yourself on the back. And let’s be real, you didn’t even do the job—it was all Tsukuyo.”

Curly-haired Guy: ”Careful with your words, Aririn. Tsukuyo’s now my boss, y’know. That’s a real-life power dynamic!”

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: ”Aririn’s part of Tsukuyo’s harem though. That’s way more intimate than your title.”

Curly-haired Guy: ”There are only two vice presidents. But concubines? You can have tons of those!”

Shark-Faced Guy: ”No way it’s really ’tons.’ Even if it were, not even Aizen could manage that many.”

Curly-haired Guy: ”Fine, then let’s keep it realistic. Just a simple four-digit number.”

Doujin Artist: ”Are you insane? Four digits?! That’s not realistic at all! Even an iron rod would get worn down to a needle by then!”

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: ”Wouldn’t it sound better to say ’iron pestle’ here?”

Amegakure Village’s Angel: ”So there are two vice presidents. Is the other one Tsukuyo?”

This is an Actor: ”Hinowa and Tsukuyo take turns running things. From now on, they’ll manage everything in Yoshiwara.”

Amegakure Village’s Angel: ”Stay safe out there. Come back soon.”

This is an Actor: ”Yeah. Once things are running smoothly here, I’ll be able to step back.”

Machete Girl: ”Stay safe? Is there something dangerous over there that could hurt our group leader?”

Curly-haired Guy: ”Isn’t it obvious? Of course it’s...”

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Woman!

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: A woman wild like a wolf and fierce like a tiger!

Doujin Artist: Konan-nee is totally jealous right now. But even when she’s jealous, she still talks so politely. She never throws a tantrum.

Curly-haired Guy: Yeah, unlike you. You’re throwing tantrums 24/7.

Doujin Artist: You’re the one who throws tantrums all day and acts like a lunatic!

Curly-haired Guy: That’s rich coming from you. I’m bouncing that right back at you.

Machete Girl: Guys, don’t fight.

Shark-Faced Guy: That’s not fighting. That’s just how they usually act.

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: We always have to explain this every time someone new joins. So annoying.

Amegakure Village’s Angel: But I don’t think we’ll have any new members for a while.

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: If we do get someone new, I hope it’s a kind and gentle big sister type.

Doujin Artist: Ruiko-chan, you’re asking for trouble now. Are you saying Konan-nee and Mouchou-nee aren’t kind and gentle enough?

Curly-haired Guy: That’s not totally wrong. Their kindness depends on the situation. The real them? One’s a bomb-making genius and the other’s a total killer. If that counts as gentle, then I must be a saint!

Amegakure Village’s Angel: @This is an Actor, Anzen-san.

[Notice: Curly-haired Guy has been muted for 5 minutes]

Doujin Artist: Serves you right! That’s what you get for running your mouth!

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Hmm. Konan-nee and Mouchou-nee are definitely kind and gentle, but they’re not big sisters! Based on their age, they’re more like cool older girls!

Doujin Artist: Whoa! Ruiko-chan, your words are coated in honey or what?

Machete Girl: Ruiko-chan is really good at talking. I’m kind of jealous.

[Notice: ”Soul Society’s Villain” has joined the group]