The Captain's Dirty Little Secret

Chapter 279: Chapter 279 - Everyone Knew

ROXIE’S POV

Roxie was already trying to get around Mike when Zac showed up.

She had stopped when Mike called her name because some part of her still felt guilty about what she had done to him. She had let him flirt with her when she wanted Zac jealous, encouraged it whenever she knew Zac was watching, then dropped Mike the second everything between her and Zac exploded again.

It had been shitty. Roxie knew that, and she had already apologized for it. Apparently, Mike thought an apology meant she owed him another chance.

”I already told you I was sorry,” Roxie said when he moved into her path again. ”I used you. It was fucked up. I admitted it. I’m still going to Sweetheart with Noah, so I don’t know what else you want from me.”

Mike leaned against the lockers like this was some conversation they were both enjoying. ”You barely know Noah.”

”And I still want to go with him more than you.”

”You didn’t have a problem with me a couple days ago.”

”Because I was trying to make Zac jealous. I already told you that.” Roxie tightened her grip on the strap of her bag as the guilt started turning into irritation. ”I was being a bitch. You didn’t deserve that, and I’m sorry. But I’m not going to keep apologizing until you get the answer you want.”

”You made me look stupid.”

”I know. I’m sorry. I mean that. But standing in front of me every time I try to leave is starting to make me feel a lot less guilty, so move.”

Mike shifted when Roxie tried getting around him again.

She stared at him. ”Seriously?”

”Come on, baby girl. Noah’s fucking boring. You know you’ll have more fun with me.”

”You don’t even know Noah.”

”I know you.”

”No, apparently you don’t because I’ve said no like four fucking times.”

A couple of students near the stairs had started glancing toward them, and Roxie immediately became more aware of how loud they were getting. She had already spent most of the day feeling strange after everything with Karen and Angela yesterday.

They had barely left her alone since coming to school, and although nobody else had any reason to know why, Roxie still felt exposed every time somebody looked at her for more than a few seconds.

Then Zac’s voice came from behind Mike.

”She said no.”

Roxie closed her eyes for a second.

Fucking perfect.

Mike turned as Zac walked toward them with his backpack hanging from one shoulder. His attention was completely on Mike, his jaw already tight, and Roxie knew exactly what was coming if she let either of them continue.

”Prescott.” Mike laughed. ”Perfect timing.”

Zac stopped beside Roxie. ”Move.”

Mike looked between them. ”You two back together now?”

”No,” Roxie answered before Zac could say anything. ”We’re still broken up, and I’m still capable of telling you to leave me alone without him doing it for me.”

Mike looked at Zac. ”She always this nice?”

”Mike, just fucking go.”

Zac stepped closer. ”She told you to move.”

Roxie turned toward him. ”I have it.”

”I know.”

”Then let me have it.”

Zac stayed beside her anyway, and the familiarity of it made something uncomfortable pull inside Roxie’s chest. He had done this throughout their relationship. Roxie would insist she could handle something, Zac would know she could, and he would still stand close enough that everybody else knew she wasn’t handling it alone.

She hated that some part of her still liked knowing he was there.

Mike looked between them again, and whatever he saw seemed to make him even more bitter.

”Whatever.”

He finally stepped aside.

Roxie started walking before either of them found another reason to keep the conversation going.

She had only gone a few steps when Mike spoke behind her.

”You’re really like your junkie mom.”

Roxie stopped.

For a second, her brain refused to understand what he had said. There was no reason Mike should know anything about Claire, so the words seemed impossible even though she had heard every one of them.

She turned around slowly.

Mike was still standing there, and the anger on his face changed the moment he saw hers.

”What did you say?”

He shrugged. ”Bianca said your mom was some junkie slut who sold herself for drugs. Guess the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.”

Roxie stared at him.

Zac moved immediately, his voice dropping as he demanded to know what the fuck Mike had just said, but Roxie barely heard him because two girls near the stairs were staring at her.

One looked away the second Roxie caught her.

The other leaned toward her friend and whispered something.

Roxie felt her stomach drop.

Mike had nothing to do with Bianca. He wasn’t friends with Lily. He wasn’t involved with Photography Club. Bianca had no reason to go out of her way to tell him anything herself.

Somebody else had told him.

Which meant people were talking.

Roxie looked around the hallway, and suddenly every glance from the entire day started changing inside her head. A girl looking at her in the cafeteria. Two cheerleaders whispering near the gym. Somebody turning around during Chemistry when Karen said something.

Maybe none of it had anything to do with Claire.

Maybe every fucking bit of it did.

”Roxie.”

Zac was saying her name again.

She barely looked at him before turning back toward Mike. ”How many people know?”

Mike frowned. ”What?”

”How many fucking people know?”

”I don’t know. People are talking.”

That answer hit harder than any number could have.

People were talking.

Roxie looked toward the girls near the stairs again, and one of them immediately dropped her eyes to her phone.

Her own eyes started burning.

She grabbed the strap of her bag and walked away before the first tear could fall.

”Rox.”

She kept going.

”Roxie, wait.”

She moved faster because she knew exactly what would happen if Zac caught up. She would see his face, remember that he knew exactly what Mike was talking about, and then she would start crying in the middle of the fucking hallway while everybody watched.

She made it around the corner before the first tear came.

Every person she passed became another question after that. A girl near the water fountain glanced at her, and Roxie wondered if she knew. Two guys were talking outside a classroom, and when one looked over, Roxie immediately wondered if Claire had been the subject before she walked past.

Maybe they were only looking because she was obviously upset.

She couldn’t tell anymore.

That was what Bianca had taken from her.

Roxie pushed through the side doors and headed around the gym without slowing down. She had been using the old bench behind the building for years, long before Zac knew enough about her to understand why she sometimes needed somewhere nobody would bother her.

She had sat there after shitty practices, after fights with Claire, after days when pretending everything was fine for another hour felt impossible.

Today she barely reached it before everything she had been holding back came out.

Roxie sat down, bent forward and covered her face.

Yesterday had been supposed to be the hardest part. She had taken Karen and Angela home and finally told them everything she spent years hiding. The bungalow. The fake vacations. The scholarship. The Corner Grill. Mr. Robinson. Jason. Claire.

They stayed.

Roxie had gone to bed knowing the two people she had feared losing most finally knew who she actually was.

Then Bianca had taken the same truth Roxie finally chose to give Karen and Angela and thrown it into school like it belonged to everybody.

Now Mike knew. Everyone knew.

And the worst part was Claire.

Roxie had spent years being ashamed of her mother. She had screamed at Claire, hated her, wished she would stay gone, then spent the same nights wondering if Claire was dead somewhere and praying she would come home.

Roxie was allowed to hate her.

She was allowed to love her.

She was allowed to miss somebody who had made her life fucking miserable.

Mike didn’t get any of that.

Bianca didn’t either.

The old instinct came almost immediately. Roxie could go back inside and lie. She could say Bianca made everything up because she was obsessed. She could remind everybody about their fight, make Bianca sound bitter, laugh at the rumor until anyone repeating it looked stupid.

Roxie knew how to do that.

She had years of practice.

That was what exhausted her.

Yesterday she had finally stopped lying.

She got one fucking day.

Footsteps came from around the side of the gym several minutes later.

Roxie dragged both hands over her face.

”Rox.”

Her hand stopped against her cheek.

She looked up.

Zac stood several feet away.

Roxie stared at him for a moment because she had expected almost anybody else. She felt something loosen in her chest the second she saw him, and that tiny bit of relief only made her angrier.

”Why are you here?”