The Captain's Dirty Little Secret

Chapter 264: Chapter 264 - Go Be Single

Roxie spun around so quickly some of the coffee splashed through the opening in the lid.

”What?”

Zac released her arm immediately.

He stood there in the stupid black coffee shop shirt and apron, looking almost as confused about why he was outside as Roxie was.

For a few seconds neither of them said anything.

Then Zac glanced at the cup in her hand. ”Why did you leave?”

Roxie stared at him.

Seriously?

”Because I was done with my coffee.”

His eyes dropped toward the cup again.

Roxie followed his gaze.

The thing was still almost fucking full.

She looked back at him. ”What?”

”Nothing.”

”Then why are you out here?”

Zac opened his mouth.

Nothing came out.

His eyes moved toward the coffee shop behind them. Through the big windows Roxie could still see people standing in line, and the guy who had been training Zac was now handling the register by himself.

Zac looked back at her.

Roxie narrowed her eyes.

”Why did you follow me?”

Again, nothing.

That was when she understood.

He did not know.

He had seen her leave pissed off and followed her because apparently Zac Prescott was incapable of letting her walk away without checking what was wrong, even though he had spent the last few days insisting they should stay broken up.

The same way he had walked back after passing her and Mike.

The same way he had dragged her into the storage room.

The same way he had kissed her yesterday like he had been starving for her and then never sent a fucking message afterward.

Roxie laughed without any humor. ”Wow.”

Zac frowned. ”What?”

”Nothing.”

”Roxie.”

”No, go back to work.”

She turned.

”Were you jealous?”

Roxie stopped.

Slowly, she looked back at him.

Zac’s expression had changed. There was the smallest hint of amusement there now.

That pissed her off immediately.

”Please.”

His eyebrows lifted.

”What?” Roxie asked. ”You think I stormed out because some girl asked what time you get off?”

”You did leave right after.”

”I was done with my coffee.”

Zac looked at the cup again.

”Stop looking at the fucking coffee.”

His mouth twitched.

Roxie’s eyes narrowed. ”Don’t flatter yourself.”

”I didn’t say anything.”

”Your face did.”

Zac looked away for a second, but she saw the smile he was trying to hide.

Oh, fuck him.

Roxie stepped closer. ”You spent two days losing your fucking mind because Mike walked beside me.”

Zac’s amusement disappeared. ”You spent two days throwing Mike in my face.”

”And you broke up with me.”

Zac went quiet.

Roxie hated how quickly that still happened. One reminder and suddenly they were standing on opposite sides of everything again.

She tightened her fingers around the coffee cup. ”So congratulations. You’re single. Girls can flirt with you now. You can flirt back. You can give them your number. You can fuck whoever you want.”

Zac’s face hardened. ”I wasn’t flirting with anybody.”

”I don’t care.”

”You clearly do.”

”I said I don’t.”

”Then why are you pissed?”

Roxie opened her mouth.

Nothing came out.

Because what the fuck was she supposed to say?

Because watching that girl lean across the counter at him had made Roxie want to drag her away by the hair?

Because some stupid part of her still looked at Zac and thought mine before remembering she had lost the right to think that?

Because yesterday his hands had been around her waist and his mouth had been on hers, and today some girl was asking when he got off work while Roxie sat twenty feet away pretending she had no reason to care?

Roxie looked away.

”Whatever.”

Zac stared at her. ”That’s what I thought.”

Her head snapped back toward him. ”Excuse me?”

”You’re jealous.”

”And you’re an asshole.”

”I didn’t do anything.”

”I know!”

The words came out louder than she meant them to.

A couple walking toward the coffee shop looked over.

Roxie lowered her voice, furious now because that was exactly the fucking problem.

”I know you didn’t do anything.”

Zac’s expression shifted.

Roxie gestured toward the shop with her cup. ”You stood there. You took her order. She flirted with you. You were working. I know.”

”Okay.”

”Stop saying okay.”

Zac sighed. ”What do you want me to say?”

Roxie stared at him.

That question again.

What did she want?

She wanted him to tell the girl to fuck off.

She wanted him to tell every girl in Briarwick he had a girlfriend.

She wanted to know when he got this job and why he chose this place and how many hours he worked and whether he was still training quarterbacks too.

Instead, she had stumbled into his workplace by accident and learned about his life while standing in line for a fucking caramel macchiato.

Roxie looked at his apron.

”When were you going to tell me about this?”

Zac glanced down at himself. ”About the job?”

”Yes.”

He hesitated.

That was enough.

Roxie gave a small laugh. ”Right.”

”Roxie.”

”No. It’s fine.”

”You didn’t ask.”

Her eyes widened. ”How the fuck was I supposed to ask about a job I didn’t know existed?”

”That’s not what I meant.”

”Then what did you mean?”

Zac rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. ”We haven’t exactly been talking.”

”Whose fucking decision was that?”

His jaw tightened.

Roxie looked away before the argument could go somewhere they had already been a hundred times.

Then the real question hit her again.

She turned back to him.

”Why are you even here?”

Zac frowned. ”What?”

”You’re working.”

”I know.”

”So go work.”

He said nothing.

Roxie stared at him.

”You followed me out here. Why?”

Zac looked toward the coffee shop again.

That was what finally broke through the jealousy and left Roxie with something worse.

He had no fucking answer. He had just reacted. The same fucking way he always did with her.

Roxie laughed quietly and shook her head.

”You keep doing this.”

”Doing what?”

”You leave me, then you follow me. You kiss me, then you act like nothing happened. You lose your shit when I’m around another guy, then remind me we’re broken up.”

Zac’s face tightened.

Roxie felt her eyes starting to burn, which only made her angrier.

”What the fuck do you want from me?”

Zac looked at her.

For once there was no immediate smartass answer. No anger. No explanation about why they were bad together or why breaking up was supposed to be the right thing.

He just looked tired.

Roxie waited.

”You don’t even fucking know.”

Zac looked away.

That hurt more than if he had argued.

Roxie nodded slowly and wiped beneath one eye before anything could actually fall.

”You know what? Forget it.”

”Rox.”

”Go back to work.”

”Roxie.”

”You wanted to be single.” Her voice cracked slightly, and she hated it. ”Go be single.”

She turned and started walking.

Zac did not grab her again.

Roxie kept going, coffee in one hand and handbag hanging from her shoulder. She walked quickly at first because she was still angry enough to feel like she needed to get away from him before she said something worse.

She reached the end of the block.

No footsteps.

Roxie slowed.

She hated herself for listening. She hated that she wanted to turn around and see him there, following her.

At the corner, she stopped long enough to pretend she needed to adjust her handbag. Her eyes moved toward the coffee shop before she could stop them.

Zac was gone.

He had gone back inside. Exactly like she told him to.

”Fuck.”

Roxie kept walking.

By the time she reached the bungalow, the anger had settled into something heavy enough that she just wanted to crawl into bed.

She unlocked the door, walked inside and threw her handbag onto the couch. Her coffee went onto the small table harder than necessary, the ice shifting loudly inside the cup.

Roxie stared at it.

She had carried the fucking thing all the way home.

It was still more than half full.

The stupid drink she had decided to buy because she could afford stupid things now. The stupid coffee Zac had made on his first day at a job she had known nothing about. The stupid thing she had carried while waiting for footsteps behind her that never came.

Roxie looked away.

”No.”

Absolutely fucking not.

She was done crying.

She had cried when they broke up. Cried while Zac packed his things. Cried alone in bed. Then spent two days acting like an idiot because apparently making him jealous was easier than admitting she wanted him back.

Yesterday she had gotten everything she thought she wanted.

And today he had followed her out of the coffee shop because he saw her leave angry.

None of it fucking mattered.

Roxie walked into the bedroom and stopped.

The closet still had those empty spaces where Zac’s clothes used to be. The outlet beside the bed was empty now that his charger was gone. His side of the bed looked exactly like any other part of the mattress, but Roxie still looked toward it automatically when she came into the room.

Her eyes started burning again.

”Fuck.”

She sat down on the bed and pressed both hands against her face.

The tears came anyway.

Roxie bent forward and tried to breathe through it, furious at herself because she finally understood what she had been trying to avoid since he left.

Breaking up had changed absolutely fucking nothing inside her.

She still got jealous.

Zac still got jealous.

She still wanted to tell him everything.

He still followed her when something looked wrong.

They could still fight like they belonged to each other.

They could still kiss like they belonged to each other.

She still loved him.

And apparently Zac could love her too and still choose to leave.

That was the part Roxie could not fight.

She could make him jealous enough to come after her. She could make him angry. She could make him kiss her.

She could get his attention whenever she wanted.

But none of that made him her boyfriend again.

Roxie wiped her face, but the tears kept coming.

She had spent days starving for proof that Zac still wanted her.

Now she had more proof than she knew what to do with.

It still was not the thing she actually wanted.

Him back.