The Captain's Dirty Little Secret

Chapter 214: Chapter 214 - The Hidden Letter

Roxie slept with one leg across Zac’s thighs and her face near the center of his chest.

Her breathing moved softly against his shirt. One hand rested beneath his ribs, with her fingers curled into the fabric as though she expected him to disappear while she slept.

Zac stared at the ceiling.

He had been awake for almost an hour.

Earlier, he had asked whether her arm still hurt. Roxie said it was fine, then changed the subject. When Zac tried to explain why he had kept holding her after she told him to let go, she leaned across the couch and kissed him.

He knew what she was doing.

He kissed her back anyway.

Within minutes, she was in his lap with her arms around his neck. Zac stopped thinking about the porch and everything they had said to hurt each other. When he pulled her beneath him, Roxie wrapped her legs around his hips and kept kissing him until his body felt ready to break through his clothes.

Then she turned her face away.

”I can’t.”

Zac moved off her immediately.

”Did I hurt you?”

Roxie shook her head and reached for him. ”I’m just not ready.”

”Okay.”

That part had been easy.

Zac wanted sex with her badly enough that his entire body hurt, but Roxie would decide when she was ready. He never wanted her thinking she had to give him anything to keep him beside her.

The problem was that their conversation ended too.

Roxie pulled him down beside her, kissed his neck, and curled against his chest. She fell asleep within minutes while Zac remained hard beneath his sweatpants and fully awake.

This had happened more than once.

Whenever he tried to return to Saturday night, Roxie touched him. Zac let her because kissing felt better than admitting they had scared each other again. Once she was pressed against him, both of them could pretend everything had been fixed.

He hated that he understood what they were doing and kept allowing it.

Zac moved his palm slowly along her back.

Roxie shifted closer, and her knee moved higher across his thighs.

His body reacted again.

”Jesus,” he whispered.

She made a quiet sound against his chest without waking.

Zac considered going into the bathroom. He could lock the door, take care of the problem, and return before she noticed.

Heat moved across his face at the thought.

The bathroom was only a few feet away. Roxie might wake and hear him. She might realize exactly what he was doing after she had stopped them.

He would never survive that conversation.

Zac stayed still and waited for his body to calm down.

Roxie’s knee shifted again.

It became worse.

He carefully lifted her leg from his thighs. Roxie frowned in her sleep and reached across the mattress until her hand found his side.

Zac froze.

She relaxed once her fingers touched him.

He stayed until her breathing settled, then moved her hand onto the pillow and climbed out of bed.

Getting dressed in the dark took longer than it should have. He pulled on his jeans, shirt, and jacket without turning on the lamp.

Before leaving, Zac looked at Roxie again.

She had spent Saturday believing he had abandoned her. Waking inside an empty bungalow could bring all of that back.

He took out his phone and typed:

Went home because I couldn’t sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow. Text me when you wake up.

Zac sent the message, then placed Roxie’s phone on the pillow where she would see the notification.

He leaned over and kissed her hair.

Roxie moved toward the warmth he had left behind.

For a moment, he considered climbing back into bed. Then she shifted under the blanket, and his body reminded him why he had gotten up.

Zac grabbed his truck keys and quietly closed the bedroom door.

The roads were almost empty.

Cold air rushed through the open window and hit his face. He had expected the drive to settle him, but his body remained tense and uncomfortable.

He should have stayed.

He should have waited until morning and tried to speak to Roxie again.

Returning would place him in the same bed with her. Roxie would reach for him because she hated feeling distance between them. Zac would give in because he hated it too.

They would kiss, and the conversation would disappear again.

Part of him felt used for comfort, though he knew that was unfair. Roxie wanted him. She also knew how easily she could stop an argument by touching him.

Zac knew it too.

He kept letting it work.

The Prescott house was dark when he pulled into the driveway.

Zac closed the truck door quietly and crossed the foyer without turning on any lights. No voices came from the living room or kitchen.

He reached the second floor and stopped.

His bedroom door stood partly open.

He had closed it before leaving.

Light showed through the gap.

Zac pushed the door wider.

Holly stood beside his desk.

The locked drawer beneath it was open. His Tennessee folder lay across the desk with several pages spread around it. Holly held the letter from the coach in one hand.

For a moment, Zac forgot why he had come home.

”What are you doing?”

Holly turned quickly.

She looked surprised, but she barely looked guilty.

”I thought you were staying out tonight.”

”That doesn’t answer me.”

Zac crossed the room and took the letter from her hand.

The envelope had been opened. His notes were scattered around the folder, along with the pages he had printed after talking through the plans with Roxie.

Holly had read everything.

”You went through my drawer?”

”I wanted to know what you were hiding.”

”You broke into my room.”

”The lock was already loose.”

Zac looked toward the damaged wood. A metal letter opener rested beside the folder.

”You forced it open.”

Holly folded her arms. ”Your parents have been worried about you.”

”So you broke into my desk for them?”

”They have no idea you’re going to University of Tenesee.”

”That’s none of your business.”

”You made a final decision without telling anyone.”

”I told Roxie.”

Holly’s eyes moved to the papers.

”That explains these.”

Zac began gathering them. ”You have no idea what you’re reading.”

”I know what numbers mean.”

She picked up one of his pages before he could reach it.

”You planned all of this for her?”

Zac snatched it back. ”I planned it for both of us.”

Holly gave a short laugh. ”You wrote down how you’re going to pay for everything.”

”I wrote down what everything could cost.”

”Really? And all the ways she can stay with you?”

Zac shoved the page into the folder. ”Yes. She’s my girlfriend.”

”That makes it worse.”

He looked at her. ”How?”

”She has you doing it for her.”

”She didn’t make me do anything.”

Holly reached toward another page.

Zac moved it before she could touch it.

”Get out.”

Her expression changed.

”Zac.”

”Leave my room.”

”I’m the only person in this house who thinks Tennessee could be good for you.”

Zac paused.

Holly noticed.

She moved away from the desk. ”Your parents are wrong about the academy. They decided what you should do before they ever asked what you wanted.”

Zac kept one hand around the folder.

”Nathan is wrong too,” she continued. ”He repeats whatever your parents say because he still believes they always know what’s best.”

”He’s your fiancé.”

”That doesn’t mean I agree with him.”

Zac said nothing.

Holly was the first person inside the Prescott house to say he deserved Tennessee.

That almost made him listen.

Almost.

”You found out by breaking into my drawer,” he said.

”I know opening it was wrong.”

”Then leave.”

”I’m trying to help you.”

”By reading my private papers?”

”By telling you that you aren’t crazy.”

Zac’s fingers tightened around the folder.

Holly lowered her voice. ”Nathan doesn’t understand what it’s like for you.”

”Stop talking about him like he isn’t your fiancé.”

”He sees everything through your parents. They tell him what the right choice is, and he follows them.”

”That has nothing to do with you standing in my bedroom.”

”It has everything to do with why you hide things.”

Zac watched her carefully.

Holly stepped closer. ”You can tell me anything.”

His discomfort returned immediately.

He remembered leaving the bathroom days earlier and finding her sitting on his bed while he wore only a towel. She had looked at him for too long then too.

”Why would I tell you anything?”

”Because I understand what it feels like when someone else arranges your future.”

”You’re marrying Nathan.”

”That doesn’t mean he understands me.”

”It means you should talk to him.”

Holly’s expression tightened.

”You’re eighteen,” she said. ”Everyone expects you to make adult decisions while treating you like a child.”

The statement landed because it was true.

His father expected obedience. His mother explained Zac’s feelings before he could answer. Nathan usually decided how Zac should react after everyone else had already made the choice.

Holly moved close enough that Zac could smell her perfume.

”You need someone who understands what you actually need.”

Zac stared at her. ”You think that’s you?”

Holly hesitated.

That was enough.

Disgust moved through him.

She was twenty five. She had known him as Nathan’s younger brother and spoken to him like a kid whenever Nathan was around.

Now she was standing inside his bedroom and acting like being older gave her some claim over him.

”You need to leave.”

”Roxie keeps you angry and confused.”

”Stop talking about her.”

”She is another teenager who has no idea how to give you stability.”

”And you’re an adult breaking into bedrooms.”

”I’m trying to make you see what she’s doing.”

”I see what you’re doing.”

Holly’s mouth tightened.

She reached toward the scratches on his neck.

Zac caught her wrist before she touched him.

”Don’t.”

Her eyes dropped to his hand.

”Roxie did that?”

”Get out.”

”She hurts you and keeps you desperate enough to go back.”

Zac released her wrist. ”You don’t know anything about us.”

”I know you came home in the middle of the night.”

His stomach tightened.

Holly looked at him, then toward his bed.

”She couldn’t give you what you needed?”

The disgust became immediate and physical.

”You’re twenty five,” Zac said. ”You’re marrying my brother. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Holly’s face changed.

”I meant you need someone mature enough to understand you.”

”I barely speak to you.”

The words stopped her.

Whatever connection Holly believed they shared existed only inside her head.

She stepped closer anyway.

”Nathan ignores me.”

”That’s between you and Nathan.”

”You understand me better than he does.”

”No, I don’t.”

”You know what it feels like to be trapped.”

”That doesn’t mean I want you.”

Holly reached toward his chest.

Zac knocked her hand away.

”Stop touching me.”

Embarrassment hardened her expression.

Then she leaned forward and kissed him.

It happened too quickly for Zac to understand what she was doing until her mouth touched his.

He jerked backward and wiped his lips with the back of his hand.

”Get away from me.”

”Zac.”

”You’re fucking disgusting.”

Holly stared as though he had insulted her.

”I was trying to show you that somebody cares about what you want.”

”You’re marrying Nathan.”

”I know you broke into my room, read my papers, insulted Roxie, and kissed me after I told you to stop touching me.”

Holly looked toward the door.

For a moment, Zac thought she would leave.

Instead, she stepped into his path.

”You’re going to tell Nathan?”

”Move.”

”You’ll ruin everything.”

”You already did.”

”He won’t understand.”

”I don’t care.”

Holly reached toward him again.

Zac caught both of her upper arms.

”Leave my room.”

She resisted when he turned her toward the doorway.

”Zac, stop.”

”Move.”

”You’re hurting me.”

The words cut through his anger.

Zac loosened his grip immediately.

Roxie’s voice returned in his head.

Let go.

You’re hurting me.

Holly used the pause to turn toward him again.

”Listen to me.”

”I said leave.”

She tried to step back into the room.

Zac caught her arms again, careful about the pressure of his fingers, and moved her into the hallway.

Holly twisted against him.

”Let me explain.”

”I don’t want an explanation.”

A door opened farther down the hall.

Nathan stepped out of his bedroom and stopped.

Holly stood in Zac’s doorway while Zac held both of her arms. Her face was flushed, and the Tennessee papers remained scattered across the desk behind them.

Zac released her.

Holly looked toward Nathan, and her entire expression changed.

”Nathan.”

Nathan looked from Holly to Zac.

”What the hell is going on?”