The Captain's Dirty Little Secret

Chapter 205: Chapter 205 - Same Marks

Roxie climbed into the truck and shoved her practice bag between her feet.

Zac got behind the wheel and closed his door. He started the engine but stayed parked outside the grill.

Neither of them spoke.

Roxie pulled the sleeve of her coat farther over her hand. Her wrist had started aching once they stepped outside. The skin felt hot where Zac’s fingers had closed around it.

Zac noticed the movement.

”How bad is it?”

Roxie kept looking through the windshield. ”What?”

”Your wrist.”

”It’s fine.”

”Let me see.”

”No.”

He reached toward her, but his hand stopped between them. Roxie looked at it before meeting his eyes.

Zac lowered it to his lap.

”I grabbed you too hard.”

”You think?”

His jaw tightened. Some of the anger was still there, but now part of it had turned on himself.

”I’m sorry.”

Roxie kept her wrist beneath her sleeve.

The apology sounded real.

She still felt guilty.

She had hidden the papers because she knew Zac would react badly. Then Ethan brought them out again after her shift, and she sat down anyway. She had looked at schools outside Tennessee while Zac believed they were building the same future.

The marks around her wrist should have made the guilt disappear.

They didn’t.

Part of her wanted Zac to ask again. She wanted him to see what he had done instead of letting them both act like his grip had been nothing.

Roxie pulled her sleeve back and held out her arm.

Red finger marks circled her wrist. They were darker along the inside where his thumb had pressed.

Zac stared at them.

His hand lifted slightly, then stopped before touching her.

”I didn’t mean to grab you like that.”

Roxie looked down at the marks. ”You acted like you caught me cheating.”

”I know you weren’t cheating.”

”It didn’t feel like you knew.”

”You hid the papers.”

”That still isn’t cheating.”

”I know.”

Zac looked down at his hands.

Roxie covered her wrist again.

He shifted the truck into reverse and backed out of the parking space.

They drove in silence until the grill disappeared behind them.

Roxie rested her head against the cold passenger window. The college papers were still with Ethan because she had been too afraid to bring them into the truck.

She already regretted leaving them.

Zac kept both hands on the steering wheel.

”You hid it from me,” he said. ”Then you sat down with him after.”

”He kept pushing them at me.”

”And you listened.”

”I looked at two schools.”

”Outside Tennessee.”

Roxie watched the dark stores passing outside her window.

”Yes.”

His hands tightened around the wheel.

”I should’ve told you when he gave them to me,” Roxie said. ”I knew you’d get upset, so I gave them back and said nothing.”

”But you still looked.”

”Yes.”

”With Ethan.”

”He was helping me.”

”He spent days looking for schools for you.”

”He searched online and printed pages.”

”That’s normal to you?”

Roxie turned toward him. ”He’s my friend.”

Zac gave her a quick look before facing the road again.

”You actually believe that?”

”Yes.”

”He waited until your shift ended and sat there planning college with you.”

”He works there too.”

”He clocks out before you.”

”And waited because he was driving me home.”

Zac laughed once without humor.

Roxie pulled her sleeve lower over her wrist. ”Ethan bothers me. He jokes around. Sometimes he flirts a little because that’s how he talks, but he hasn’t done anything.”

”You don’t see how he looks at you.”

”Maybe because I’m not staring at him all day trying to figure out whether he wants me.”

”Guys don’t spend two nights looking up colleges for a girl for no reason.”

”Dylan does things for you.”

”That’s different.”

”How?”

”It just is.”

Roxie looked through the windshield again. ”He’s my friend, Zac. That’s all he is to me.”

”You hid something he gave you.”

”I hid the papers because I knew you would turn it into this.”

Zac’s jaw tightened.

Roxie let out a breath. ”Nothing happened. I looked at two schools with my friend. I should’ve told you about the papers, and I’m sorry I didn’t.”

”One of the schools looked possible.”

”Yes.”

”Instead of Tennessee.”

”I never said instead.”

”You keep saying possible like Tennessee isn’t.”

”Tennessee is possible for you.”

”I was making it possible for both of us.”

”You picked everything before asking me.”

”I was trying to show you it could work.”

”You found the schools, the apartments, and the jobs. Then you told me what you found.”

”Because you weren’t looking at anything.”

”I know.”

The answer came out quieter than Roxie intended.

She had done nothing. No applications. No forms. No financial aid. Ethan had searched because she kept avoiding it. Zac had searched because he had already decided he wanted her near him.

Both boys had done more about her future than she had.

That made the guilt worse.

”I know I waited too long,” she said. ”That doesn’t mean I have to pick Tennessee because you started first.”

Zac went quiet.

The truck remained silent for the rest of the drive.

When they reached the bungalow, Zac parked near the porch and switched off the engine.

Roxie opened her door.

He got out too, lifted her practice bag from the passenger floor, and carried it to the porch.

Roxie unlocked the front door.

Zac handed her the bag.

”I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Roxie looked at him. ”You’re leaving?”

”You’re upset.”

”So are you.”

”That’s why I’m leaving.”

He turned toward the truck.

The space between them opened immediately.

Roxie had wanted him to stop talking during the drive. Now that he was walking away, panic climbed into her chest.

”Zac.”

He stopped.

”Stay.”

He looked over his shoulder. ”You actually want me here?”

”Yes.”

”Or you don’t want me going back to Dylan’s?”

Roxie tightened her fingers around the strap of her bag.

”Both.”

Zac faced her again.

”I’m still upset with you,” she said.

”I know.”

”You’re still mad.”

”Yeah.”

”Then stay mad inside.”

His mouth moved slightly, though it never became a full smile.

Zac followed her into the bungalow.

Roxie locked the door behind him and carried her bag into her room. She changed out of her work clothes, which still smelled like grease and dish soap. The front of her jeans was damp near the knees from leaning against the sink.

She pulled on a thin tank top and soft sleep shorts.

When she returned to the living room, Zac stood near the couch with both hands inside the front pocket of his black hoodie. He still wore the same jeans from school.

His attention moved over her bare legs before returning to her face.

Roxie sat on the couch.

Zac stayed standing.

”Are you getting the papers tomorrow?”

”Yes.”

”From Ethan.”

”He has them.”

”He can hand them over and leave.”

Roxie looked up at him. ”You can’t give him rules.”

”I don’t want him sitting beside you again.”

”He’s my friend.”

”He wants more than that.”

”You think he does.”

”I know he does.”

”You don’t know Ethan.”

”I know guys.”

Roxie rubbed the edge of her sleeve between her fingers. ”I’m sorry I hid the papers. I mean that. I’m not apologizing for having a friend.”

Zac pulled his hands from his pocket.

”You’d be fine if some girl spent two nights planning my future?”

”If she printed college pages, I’d probably think she needed a hobby.”

”That’s bullshit.”

Roxie looked down at her covered wrist.

Maybe it was.

She had pinched Zac in chemistry because a girl stood beside him for a few minutes. She had almost crushed his fingers when another girl touched the back of his chair.

The difference was that those girls had looked at Zac like they wanted something.

Ethan never had.

At least Roxie had never seen it.

”He treats me like a friend,” she said.

”He flirts with you.”

”He makes stupid jokes.”

”He watches you.”

”Everybody watches people when they talk.”

Zac stared at her.

Roxie looked away first.

”Tennessee stays on the list,” he said.

”I never took it off.”

”You keep talking like you’re searching for somewhere else.”

”I’m searching for choices.”

”Why?”

”Because I need them.”

”That isn’t an answer.”

”It’s the answer I have.”

Zac turned away from her.

Roxie stood.

He had already tried to leave once. Seeing him move toward the other side of the room made something tight twist inside her.

”Where are you going?”

”I’m standing over here.”

”You’re walking away.”

”I’m trying not to say something worse.”

”You already grabbed me.”

Zac stopped.

His eyes dropped to the wrist beneath her sleeve.

The anger in his face changed into guilt.

Roxie hated seeing it.

The guilt made him look ready to leave again. Anger kept him close enough for her to touch.

She shoved his chest.

Zac barely moved.

”What are you doing?”

Roxie shoved him again. ”Quit walking away.”

”I’m trying not to fight with you.”

”You already are.”

”Roxie.”

”Tell me I’m finished again.”

His expression hardened. ”Stop.”

”Tell me where I’m going to college.”

”I said stop.”

”Make me.”

Zac caught both of her wrists.

The movement happened so quickly that Roxie’s back hit the wall beside the living room doorway.

Pain flared through the wrist he had grabbed at the grill.

Zac loosened his hold immediately. Her sore hand slipped free, but he kept the other pinned above her head.

He started to step away.

Roxie grabbed the front of his hoodie with her free hand and pulled him against her.