The Captain's Dirty Little Secret

Chapter 201: Chapter 201 - Stay Here

Zac had been gone for almost three hours.

After practice, he had taken Roxie to a small diner near Route 9 and ordered enough food for both of them. He watched until she finished most of her burger, drove her home, carried her practice bag inside, then kissed her at the door.

He said he needed to go home.

Roxie almost asked him to stay.

Instead, she watched his truck disappear from the window.

Now she sat on the couch with cheer footage paused on the television and the college list Ethan had given her the night before resting across her lap.

He had brought the pages into the kitchen near the end of her shift at the grill.

Roxie had been standing at the deep sink with her sleeves pushed above her elbows. Hot water ran over another stack of plates while the dishwasher rattled beside her. Steam clung to her face, and the front of her apron was soaked.

Ethan entered carrying several printed pages.

”These still accept applications.”

Roxie shut off the faucet and wiped her hands against the driest part of her apron.

”What is that?”

”Colleges.”

”I can see that.”

He handed her the pages.

Roxie looked at the first school, then at Ethan.

”Why are you doing this?”

”You said you hadn’t applied anywhere.”

”That was weeks ago.”

”Yeah, and you still haven’t.”

Roxie glanced through the service window.

Zac sat in the back booth with his phone beside his coffee. His face was turned toward the kitchen, though the steam and stacked dishes blocked most of his view.

She lowered the pages.

”I didn’t ask you to look.”

”I know. You can throw them away.”

That made refusing them harder.

The list included community colleges, state schools, application deadlines, estimated tuition, and financial aid information. Ethan had marked several programs that still accepted late applications.

Late applications accepted.

Campus jobs available.

Could transfer after two years.

Cheer tryouts in August.

One school was less than two hours from Briarwick. Another had cheap housing nearby. A community college near Richmond accepted applications until summer.

Roxie folded the pages.

”Thanks.”

Ethan nodded toward the sink behind her.

”Your plates are getting worse.”

”They multiply when I turn around.”

”I think they’re doing it now.”

Roxie glanced back at the new stack someone had dropped beside the sink.

”I hate this place.”

Ethan laughed and returned to the dining area.

Roxie slipped the pages beneath the spare shirt inside her practice bag and went back to work.

Now they rested on her lap inside the bungalow.

Zac had searched for schools, housing, and jobs because he wanted to place her inside his Tennessee plans.

Ethan had handed her several directions she could take alone.

That should have made the pages easier to accept.

Instead, hiding them felt worse.

Roxie looked through the list again.

None of the schools were in Tennessee.

She tried to imagine telling Zac.

Ethan found some other colleges for me.

It sounded worse in her head than it actually was. She had not asked Ethan to search. He had not asked to come with her. He had only given her information.

Her heart still beat faster whenever she pictured Zac seeing his handwriting in the margins.

Tires moved across the gravel outside.

Roxie folded the pages and slid them beneath the cheer notebook on the coffee table.

Headlights passed across the wall before going dark.

A car door closed.

Someone knocked.

Roxie moved to the window and pulled the curtain aside.

Zac stood on the porch. A car was already moving away from the end of the driveway.

She opened the door.

Zac looked more tired than when he left. His jacket hung open, and his hair had fallen across his forehead. The healing split near the corner of his lip had opened slightly again.

The smell reached her when he stepped closer.

Alcohol.

Roxie kept one hand against the door.

”Did you actually go home?”

”Yeah.”

”And then?”

”I went to Dylan’s.”

”You smell like beer.”

”I had two.”

Roxie stepped aside.

Zac entered and removed his shoes near the door. He placed his phone on the coffee table before dropping onto the couch.

His attention moved toward the cheer notebook.

Roxie picked it up with Ethan’s pages beneath it.

”I’m putting this away.”

Zac rested his head against the couch.

”Okay.”

She carried both into the kitchen and slid Ethan’s pages into a drawer beneath the takeout menus. When she returned, Zac had stretched across the couch with his feet hanging over one end.

”What happened at home?” she asked.

”Nothing I want to talk about.”

Roxie stood beside him.

His shoulders remained tense even while he tried to sink into the cushions. His right hand kept opening and closing against his thigh.

”Did your father touch you again?”

”No.”

The answer came fast.

She waited.

Zac closed his eyes.

That was all she would get tonight.

Roxie wanted to ask why he went to Dylan’s afterward. She wanted to know whether his parents had seen the hallway photographs and what Nathan had said when the argument started.

Zac looked like he could fall asleep before she finished the first question.

”Move your legs,” she said.

He bent them enough for her to sit near his feet.

Roxie restarted the cheer footage. The video showed the full routine from practice. She replayed the second transition, trying to find the half count that had bothered her.

Zac stayed quiet.

When the routine ended, Roxie glanced toward him.

His eyes were closed.

”Zac?”

He gave no answer.

His breathing had already deepened.

Roxie lowered the television volume.

His phone vibrated on the coffee table. His mother’s name lit the screen.

Roxie watched until the call ended.

A message from Nathan appeared next.

She turned the phone facedown without opening anything.

The battery symbol had been red. Roxie connected his charger and left the phone beside the couch.

She went into the kitchen and returned with a bottle of water and a packet of crackers. She placed both within reach, locked the front door, and checked the windows.

Claire’s gray sweater still hung over the back of the kitchen chair.

Roxie looked at it before taking the blanket from the other chair.

She spread it over Zac.

He caught the edge in his sleep and pulled it higher across his chest.

Roxie sat on the floor beside the couch with her back against it. She replayed the cheer footage without sound, though the movements stopped registering after the first few minutes.

Her attention kept returning to Zac.

The tension around his mouth had disappeared. His hand rested open near the edge of the cushion.

Roxie reached up and moved the hair away from his forehead.

He never reacted.

She let her fingers remain there.

The bungalow had belonged to Roxie alone for weeks before Claire died. She knew which floorboards creaked, how often the pipes knocked, and how loud the refrigerator became after midnight.

Zac’s breathing covered some of it.

Nobody called him downstairs or opened the door without permission. For nearly three hours, nobody asked him to explain himself.

Roxie stayed beside him until her neck started hurting from leaning against the couch.

After two in the morning, she stood carefully.

Zac remained asleep.

She considered waking him and telling him to move to the bedroom, but he looked more rested than he had all week.

Roxie switched off the television and went to her room.

She changed into a tank top and shorts, then climbed beneath the blanket.

The house became quiet again.

Zac remained in the living room.

Knowing he was there helped.

Roxie closed her eyes.

She woke when the mattress shifted behind her.

An arm slid around her waist.

Roxie inhaled sharply and caught the wrist against her stomach.

”I said your name,” Zac whispered near the back of her neck.

”I was asleep.”

”Yeah. I noticed.”

”You drank two beers and decided you could crawl into my bed?”

”I’m sober now.”

Zac moved closer beneath the blanket. His chest settled against her back, and his leg rested between hers.

Roxie released his wrist but kept her hand over his.

”What time is it?”

”Almost four.”

”You slept forever.”

”I was tired.”

”I noticed.”

Roxie turned carefully in his arms.

Zac’s eyes remained heavy, but the alcohol had faded from them.

”You should’ve woken me,” he said.

”You needed sleep.”

”I came here to see you.”

”You were here.”

Zac became quiet.

Roxie watched his face in the darkness.

He had probably expected her to become angry because he passed out. Maybe he thought she needed him awake and paying attention before his presence counted.

”You really didn’t mind?” he asked.

”You looked dead. I checked if you were breathing.”

”How many times?”

”Twice.”

His mouth curved.

”That’s kind of sweet.”

”It wasn’t. I didn’t want to explain a body on my couch.”

Zac laughed quietly.

Roxie placed her palm against his chest.

”You took care of me,” he said.

”You were passed out in my living room. What was I supposed to do?”

”You could’ve woken me up and sent me home.”

”I didn’t want to.”

His expression changed.

Zac looked at her for several seconds before lowering his mouth to her bare shoulder.

He pressed a small kiss near the strap of her tank top.

”Are you ever gonna leave me?”

Roxie stopped moving.

”What?”

”Just answer.”

His voice stayed quiet.

The question felt heavier than the way he asked it.

Roxie thought about the pages hidden beneath the takeout menus. Ethan had given her schools in other towns, choices Zac knew nothing about, and paths that might take her somewhere outside the future he had planned.

She had done nothing wrong.

The guilt returned anyway.

”No,” she said. ”I wouldn’t leave you.”

Zac watched her.

Roxie held his eyes until some of the tension left his face.

He kissed her shoulder again.

She ran her fingers through his hair.

The next words almost stayed inside her.

”If you left me, I wouldn’t know what to do.”

Her voice came out soft.

Zac stopped.

Roxie looked away.

She had managed the bungalow alone for months. She had survived every practical part of Claire’s death.

The thought of Zac leaving still terrified her.

His arm tightened around her waist.

”You don’t have to worry about that,” he said. ”You’re stuck with me.”

Roxie looked back at him.

”Forever?”

”Yeah.”

Heat moved into her face.

”That sounded like a proposal.”

Zac laughed against her shoulder.

”I’m not proposing half drunk at four in the morning.”

”So you’re planning to?”

He lifted his head.

Roxie waited.

Zac smiled and kissed her shoulder again.

”When I do it, I’m doing it right.”

Her heart struck hard against her ribs.

”When?”

”I’m obviously not telling you.”

”You just admitted you’re going to propose.”

”Someday.”

”That still counts.”

”You’re way too happy about this.”

”Shut up.”

Roxie kissed him before he could laugh again.

Zac made a quiet sound against her mouth, then pulled her closer. Roxie held the back of his neck and kissed him harder.

He was talking about a future where he still wanted her.

A future where leaving her had never become part of the plan.

When they separated, Zac kept his forehead against hers.

”What was that for?”

Roxie tightened her arms around him.

”You know.”

”Say it.”

”No.”

His mouth curved.

”Fine.”

He kissed her again.

The college pages remained hidden in the kitchen. Tennessee still waited for an answer.

For now, Zac was beside her.

Roxie held him and let herself believe he would stay.