Harry Potter: Most Annoying System Ever

The moonlight spilled through the high, arched windows of the sixth-floor corridor, illuminating the dust motes dancing in the cold air.

Orion Malfoy stood perfectly still, his eyes locked onto the small, silver-eyed girl shivering slightly in her oversized sweater.

”You cannot control what the Nargles do,” Luna had told him once, her voice a breathy acceptance of cruelty. ”You try to swat them away... it just agitates them.”

But Orion had swatted them. He had crushed them with the sheer weight of consequence and psychological terror. And yet, standing before him, Luna Lovegood offered no judgment for his methods. She only offered gratitude for the result.

She sees, Orion thought, a profound sense of clarity settling over him. She sees the intent behind the illusion. And when she speaks the truth of what she sees, the others—the ’normal’ students—call her Loony. When in fact, they are the ones who are hopelessly, willfully blind.

”It is my pleasure, Miss Lovegood,” Orion replied softly, finally dropping the pretense. He didn’t admit to the letters or the midnight thievery, but his tone acknowledged the unspoken truth between them. ”No one should have to walk the stone floors of this castle barefoot in winter.”

Luna beamed, her radish earrings bobbing cheerfully. ”Are you going to help me open the door again?” she asked, her voice returning to its airy cadence. ”I tried the vanishing spell you used on the gum last time, but my wand just made a squeak and produced a very sad-looking bubble.”

Orion couldn’t help but smile. ”The Evanesco charm is tricky, Luna. It requires a firm grasp of non-being. I would be happy to teach you the wand movements, but...”

He glanced down the dark corridor, his mind flashing to the giant, petrifying snake currently treating the plumbing like a personal highway. The Dobby-installed barrier would keep the bullies locked in, but it also kept Luna locked out. And standing in the open was no longer an option.

”But it will take some time to master,” Orion finished, his voice turning serious. ”And it is incredibly dangerous to stay outside your common room right now. The castle is... restless.”

He didn’t mention the Heir or the monster. He didn’t need to.

”Come with me,” Orion commanded gently, offering his arm. ”I know a place.”

Luna didn’t hesitate. She took his arm, her small hand resting lightly on his dark sleeve, and allowed him to lead her away from the Ravenclaw entrance.

Orion navigated the shifting staircases with practiced ease, checking the Marauder’s Map in his pocket with quick, glances. The coast was clear.

They ascended to the seventh floor, the air growing staler and dustier the higher they went.

Orion stopped in front of a seemingly blank stretch of stone wall, situated directly opposite an enormous tapestry depicting Barnabas the Barmy attempting to teach a group of trolls how to perform ballet.

”What is this?” Luna asked, peering at the blank wall, then turning her wide eyes to the tapestry. ”The trolls look very uncoordinated. They need lighter tutus, I think.”

”They do,” Orion agreed dryly. ”But we aren’t here for the art critique. There is a secret room here, Luna. A very special one.”

Luna looked back at the wall, her expression serene but curious. ”I don’t see a door.”

”That is because it only appears when you truly need it,” Orion explained, stepping back to give her space. ”I want you to walk past this stretch of wall three times. Pace back and forth. And as you walk, I want you to think very hard about a room you need right now. Think of a safe place. A warm place. Preferably, a room with a comfortable bed.”

Luna didn’t ask questions. She simply nodded, her dirty-blonde hair swishing.

She began to pace. One. Two. Three.

Orion watched her face. She looked peaceful, her eyes half-closed, lost in whatever visualization she was creating.

On her third pass, the stone wall began to shimmer. The solid granite rippled like water disturbed by a stone. A highly polished wooden door, complete with a gleaming brass handle, materialized silently from the masonry.

Luna stopped, her eyes flying open. ”Oh, my,” she breathed.

Orion stepped forward and turned the handle. The door swung inward with a soft click.

He gestured for her to enter.

Luna stepped over the threshold. Orion followed, pulling the door shut behind them.

The room that materialized was not the cavernous, white, empty void Orion had conjured when he stole the Vanishing Cabinet. It was utterly transformed.

It was a cozy, circular room with walls painted a soft, soothing blue. The ceiling was painted with incredibly detailed, moving constellations. A small, crackling fire burned in a stone hearth, casting a warm, golden light across a plush, violently patterned rug. In the center of the room sat a large, comfortable-looking bed piled high with mismatched quilts and fluffy pillows.

”It’s my room,” Luna whispered, her voice filled with awe. She spun around, taking in the details. ”It’s my room back home. In Devon. Even the painting of the Crumple-Horned Snorkack is here.”

She pointed to a rather abstract, vibrant painting above the fireplace. Most likely her own drawing.

”This room provides whatever the seeker requires,” Orion explained, leaning against the closed door. ”It is the ultimate sanctuary. And it is entirely safe. As long as you are inside, and you will it so that no one else can find you... the door will not appear for anyone else. Not even the Headmaster.”

He crossed his arms, looking at her seriously.

”I want you to come and stay here anytime you find yourself locked out, Luna. Do not wander the corridors. Do not sleep in the cold. You come here. You ask for your room, and you lock the door.”

Luna beamed at him, a radiant smile that made her look entirely normal for a fleeting second. ”It is wonderful, Orion. Thank you.”

”We are not quite finished,” Orion said, turning around.

”Dobby.”

CRACK.

The house-elf appeared, nearly bowling over a small bedside table. He looked around the cozy, blue room, his large eyes wide with confusion before settling on his master.

”Master Orion calls Dobby!”

Luna looked down at the elf. Her silver eyes didn’t widen in surprise or disgust, as most purebloods would have. Instead, they softened with immediate, genuine affection.

”Hello,” Luna said musically, crouching down so she was eye-level with the trembling creature. ”I saw you following me around the other night. When my shoes went missing. Thank you for protecting me.”

Dobby gasped, his hands flying to his face. A witch—a human witch—was thanking him. And crouching to speak to him.

”D-Dobby was honored to watch the nice Miss Luna!” Dobby squeaked, tears instantly welling in his eyes. ”Dobby made the bad girls stop!”

”You did a very good job,” Luna smiled, reaching out to gently pat the elf on his knobby shoulder. ”The Nargles are very quiet now.”

Orion watched the interaction with a mixture of amusement and clinical calculation.

”Dobby,” Orion commanded softly. ”Listen to me.”

Dobby stood up straight, wiping his eyes with his tea towel. ”Yes, Master Orion!”

”You are to listen to Luna,” Orion instructed, gesturing to the girl. ”If she requires anything while she is in this room—if she wants something to eat from the kitchens, or a specific book from the library—you are to bring it to her. She is not to wander the castle looking for provisions.”

Dobby nodded fiercely, his ears flapping. ”Dobby will bring the nicest fruits! Dobby will bring the books with the best pictures!”

”And Luna,” Orion turned his attention back to the Ravenclaw. ”Please keep this door closed until morning. Do not let anyone in. Do not even open it for me if I come knocking, unless it is a dire emergency.”

Luna stood up, smoothing her oversized sweater. She looked at the large, inviting bed, then back at Orion.

”Why not stay?” Luna asked, her voice innocent and entirely devoid of any ulterior motive. She tilted her head, her radish earrings swaying. ”My bed is very big. There is plenty of room. You look tired, Orion.”

Orion blinked. He stared at the twelve-year-old girl, completely disarmed by the sheer, unadulterated purity of the offer. It wasn’t an invitation for romance or mischief; it was the simple, practical offer of a shared safe space from a girl who understood loneliness better than anyone.

For a moment, the cold, calculating wall of the Slytherin prodigy cracked.

”Some other time, Luna,” Orion said softly, a genuine, albeit faint, smile touching his lips.

He reached out and gently tapped the frame of the door.

”Besides,” Orion added, his voice dropping into a gentle warning. ”You should not trust people so easily, Luna. Not even because they help you once. The world is rarely as kind as you are.”

Luna didn’t look offended. She didn’t look naive. She looked at him with that same piercing, serene clarity.

”I don’t trust everyone just like that, Orion,” Luna said softly, her silver eyes holding his gaze steadily. ”I know the difference between a Nargle and a friend.”

She offered a small, brilliant smile.

”I trust you.”

Orion stood in the doorway for a long moment, the weight of that simple, absolute declaration settling over him. It was a terrifying responsibility, being trusted by someone who saw the world so clearly.

”Goodnight, Luna,” Orion whispered.

He turned, stepped back out into the cold, stone corridor, and pulled the heavy wooden door shut behind him. The door vanished instantly, melting back into the blank stone wall, leaving Orion alone in the dark.

”Well,” Sparkle’s voice hummed softly in his mind. ”That was... unexpected. You made a friend. A true friend.”

Orion didn’t respond back. He began the long walk back down to the dungeons, his footsteps silent, his mind whirring with the implications of the night.