Gun of Ashes

What exactly is this thing called life?

Left Garrison’s question stumped Lorenzo, the cunning Lorenzo had already thought of many ways to handle things, but no matter what, he hadn’t expected Left Garrison to ask him such a question.

A question that seemed laughable, naive, and most unsuitable for people like them.

”Are you... joking?”

Lorenzo couldn’t understand; he looked at Left Garrison, feeling that the various peculiar feelings this old man gave him might just be an illusion, in reality, he was just a somewhat dull guy, all those possibilities were just his own delusions.

”No, I’m not joking,” Left Garrison replied solemnly, ”Do you think this question should not be posed by me?”

”Yes, look at you, and then look at me, we’ve got countless lives on our hands, life is something that, to us... is just like work.”

Lorenzo couldn’t help uttering nonsense.

”We’re like lumberjacks, do lumberjacks care about what happens to the big trees?”

Left Garrison listened seriously to Lorenzo’s nonsense, his face showing an epiphany, as if to say, ”So this is the kind of person you are.”

”Maybe this is the difference brought by culture.”

This time, Left Garrison did not maintain an aggressive attitude but slowed down his speech, speaking calmly.

”In our Jiuxia, lumberjacks pay more attention to the relationship between humans and trees.”

Lorenzo’s expression became increasingly strange, the suppressed murderousness was completely absent, perhaps the so-called cultural difference truly existed, this old guy hadn’t even picked up on the nonsense within his words, instead earnestly explaining it to him.

This explains the difference in attitude, earlier he seemed ready to shoot him, now he was answering and clearing doubts, altogether in Left Garrison’s understanding, he’s just an utterly ignorant guy.

Left Garrison shows the proper tolerance for ignorant folks.

Lorenzo’s expression grew increasingly complicated.

”Excessive tree-felling by lumberjacks can destroy forests, make rich soils desolate, so it needs to be controlled to keep everything continuing for a long time,” Left Garrison explained seriously, ”It’s like us, we resort to violence, but it’s to protect more people.”

”Are you listening, Holmo?”

Left Garrison stopped halfway, realizing Lorenzo was already in a trance-like state.

”So?” Lorenzo questioned back.

”So?” Left Garrison seemed amused by Lorenzo, he asked again.

”They say you’re an expert.”

Lorenzo was silent, not denying.

”As an expert, you won’t even know what you’ve been taking away, would you?” Left Garrison said, ”This is not something an expert should do.”

Left Garrison took a deep breath, eyes blurry, falling into deep darkness.

”We are executioners, we’ve killed a lot, some were people, some weren’t even human, and some we can’t figure out what they were... so I’ve always thought, the one who understands life’s essence most, should be the Death God, just like lumberjacks understand trees best, we who are closest to the Death God should be the ones who understand life more.

Therefore, we should have reverence.”

Left Garrison paused, Lorenzo didn’t look at him, as if avoiding his gaze, staring blankly ahead.

”You should understand this, then back to the original question.

For you, Lorenzo Holmes, what exactly is life?”

Looking at Lorenzo maintaining silence, Left Garrison recalled, then continued.

”I’ve questioned every Anonymous about this, I can tell from their answers whether they’re qualified lumberjacks, executioners, or Death Gods.”

Slowly raising his hand, Left Garrison looked at his aged, withered palm, full of bark-like wrinkles.

”I still remember the first time I killed, Holmes. At that time, I was a recruit, fighting Demons in a remote village, I hadn’t even had time to fire before being attacked by Demons, fainting from the erosion, and when I awoke, the battle had ended ages ago, it seemed only I, being lucky enough to faint, escaped from a brutal battle, survived, I searched for a long time and found another survivor in another pile of corpses.

Then...”

Left Garrison’s words paused, he showed a puzzled expression, after a while he continued.

”I took care of him for many days, tried everything, but still couldn’t save him, in the end, he couldn’t speak, his wounds festering, seemed there were worms inside, white, mixed with blood and flesh.

He grabbed my hand with his last bit of strength, couldn’t utter a single word, just stared at me, and I stared back, suddenly I seemed to understand what he meant.”

Left Garrison raised his hand and then lowered it.

”I picked up a big stone, smashed it down hard, no sound.”

The story ended, Left Garrison withdrew his gaze, and only then noticed, at some point Lorenzo had looked at him, in the dark floated dim rays, enabling Left Garrison to see where his gaze lay.

”So to you, what is life, Left Garrison?”

Facing Lorenzo’s questioning, Left Garrison smiled calmly and said.

”Nothing, life is meaningless.”

This answer surprised Lorenzo, immediately followed by Left Garrison continuing.