The Trash Returned from Warhammer

Chapter 191: Chapter 223: What? I Became the Emperor?

Chapter 223: What? I Became the Emperor?

The First Branch suffered an Angel attack, with damage exceeding 73%? Angel information: top secret. Loss situation: top secret. Battle process: top secret… Result: EVA Units 07 and 09 damaged; remaining personnel evacuated to the Arctic Branch, awaiting headquarters support for reconstruction.

Early in the morning, Misato Katsuragi flipped through the emergency intelligence she had just received, her mouth agape, milk dripping from her lips.

‘What the hell? It’s all top secret, what am I supposed to analyze? Why was the First Branch attacked out of nowhere, and why is the higher-up management acting so tight-lipped?’

“It’s so messy, Misato.” Asuka frowned. While wiping Misato’s mouth with a napkin, she leaned over: “What happened? The First Branch was attacked? Huh? Why would the Angels attack the First Branch instead of us?”

“I want to know that too. Why would the Angels pick the First Branch to strike when there isn’t even a city nearby?”

Both were full of question marks, and then they simultaneously looked toward the kitchen. A boy was wearing an apron, expressionlessly frying eggs. The morning sun shone on his delicate face, making him appear completely harmless.

‘It must be him!’

Both women had the same thought. They knew that Unit-01 had launched ahead of schedule, which coincided exactly with the time of the attack. The key was that this guy had gone out the previous night and had only just returned this morning.

“Hey, Shinji, did you do this?”

“To be precise, Kaworu did it.”

“That Free Angel? I knew he had ulterior motives.” Misato immediately slapped the table, asking with some anticipation: “You took care of him? No wonder the higher-ups are being so secretive—they wouldn’t dare admit they had been controlling an Angel.”

“What? That stalker is an Angel???” Asuka was even more surprised. In her impression, Kaworu was just a pretty boy and a stalker; she had never interacted with him.

‘Well, there is an asymmetry of information here, too.’

Shinji placed the fried eggs on the table, not knowing where to begin explaining. He had turned Chairman Keel into a puppet and come back, leaving the follow-up work to Ryoji Kaji.

Kaji had a lot of work to do. Because of time constraints, Chairman Keel was only a low-level puppet who needed someone nearby to assist him. Then there was the task of taking inventory of the First Branch’s heritage, seizing control of the self-destruct collars, transporting the Spear of Longinus back, and so on.

There were too many secrets involved. Things like the world’s inevitable doomsday didn’t need to be said, and explaining Kaworu’s future tasks or the Final Ritual would be too troublesome.

“I didn’t kill him. Kaworu was also acting according to my orders, so you two can rest assured.”

‘Rest assured my ass, you’re doing big things behind our backs again.’

Misato, Rei Ayanami, and Asuka exchanged glances, not quite understanding what he was talking about.

Controlling an Angel was already absurd enough, but they didn’t really care about that. Shinji had always been profound and far-sighted; he must have had his reasons. If they insisted on an explanation, Shinji wouldn’t hide it, but it would definitely be obscure and hard to understand, and they would end up looking like idiots.

“No, when have you ever shown mercy to an Angel?” Asuka suddenly shrieked, half-covering her mouth: “Didn’t you hate Angels the most? You didn’t finish Him off at the beach last time, and this time you even gave Him orders. Do you two have some unspeakable secret?”

‘Is this the point? Well, it is the point, but why is your look so infuriating?’

Shinji thought about it. Asuka’s question wasn’t wrong—he and Kaworu did have a secret, a huge secret that could sway the future of humanity, the kind even more top-secret than the “Human Instrumentality Project.”

“Hmm, that is indeed the case, but I cannot say it yet. I need to find Ritsuko to…”

Before he could finish, he saw Asuka being dragged away by Rei Ayanami. The girl’s mouth was covered, and she struggled like a drowning person.

“What are those two doing? Do they want to know or not?” Shinji turned his head to look at Misato, who was suppressing a laugh, thinking that this should be a very serious matter.

“Nothing, they just have a better relationship now, and Rei is afraid that Asuka will be beaten to a pulp by you.” Misato understood, though her expression was just as infuriating. “But you’re quite charming, aren’t you? Crossing genders—no, crossing species, you take them all.”

“Nonsense. And I don’t hit people easily.” Shinji flexed his wrists, humming as Misato opened her mouth: “My strength has been increasing a bit too fast lately; I’m afraid if I don’t control my power, I might accidentally kill someone.”

As soon as these words were spoken, Misato, who wanted to help explain, shut her mouth.

‘Forget it, being a good person is life-threatening. Better to be a bad person.’

“But you are all too frivolous. You don’t even give me a chance to explain slowly.”

“The atmosphere isn’t right? Come on, you didn’t even care about that point, did you? Who fries eggs as usual the morning after doing something massive?” Misato rolled her eyes. If they

hadn’t spent so much time together, she would never have believed that this harmless-looking boy had done something earth-shattering.

‘Hmm, this accusation has some merit.’

Shinji discovered another blind spot. Because of habit, he had divided his life into uniform parts. When he was at home, he was instinctively relaxed, looking nothing like the person who, just a day before, had pushed the head of SEELE to a mental breakdown.

“Alright, I’ll keep it short: SEELE is no longer a problem.”

“No longer a problem?”

Misato blinked, sitting there blankly for several seconds before she jumped up with a whoosh.

“You… destroyed SEELE, and then came back to fry eggs for breakfast?”

“Is there a problem?”

“The problem is huge, okay? Hey, do you realize you just wiped out the world’s puppet master, which will trigger a series of political tremors and rewrite the world order after World War II!”

Misato didn’t know what kind of expression to make.

‘Frivolous? You’re the most frivolous one, okay? How can you make destroying SEELE sound as calm as a supermarket clearance sale?

Those old men would be crying.’

Shinji also couldn’t understand her emotion, because from start to finish, SEELE was never a difficult problem to solve. When he controlled them, it was always under his will. Wasn’t that basically the same as a supermarket clearance sale?

“It’s not as serious as you think. I’ve already arranged the follow-up matters. It won’t affect the world order. I just turned SEELE into a more efficient, more obedient tool. Every step is under control.”

“Just like that??”

“Yes, just like that. SEELE has fulfilled its mission and stepped off the stage at the most appropriate time.” Shinji remained calm. One could say he had squeezed every bit of value out of SEELE—the “almost” was only because it hadn’t yet reached perfection.

From discovering SEELE, starting the infiltration, reverse utilization, to finding the offline locations of important targets, every step was unfolded in sequence. It was just a shame that the evolution speed of the negative universe’s will was astonishing, forcing him to act early.

Misato stared at him, unable to see any pretense of showing off. Finally, she slumped back down, covering her face and forcing herself to calm down.

Having been with Shinji for a long time, her psychological resilience was also improving rapidly. Things that used to feel like the end of the world seemed like no big deal in front of Shinji. “Does this mean I can request funds recklessly in the future?” Once she figured it out, she became eager.

“No, I have to ensure the number of humans and allocate resources more reasonably. The entire Earth is having a hard time now.” Shinji didn’t quite understand the source of this excitement, saying softly: “The SEELE of the future will be more efficient and fairer. If there are problems they cannot understand, I will have Ryoji Kaji pass on the message, and I will handle them personally.”

‘What? That scumbag got a promotion too?’

Misato was immediately displeased, but as soon as she thought about how much trouble these things were, she backed down, feeling that being a couch potato was better.

“Wait, so you’re already the puppet master of the puppet master—that makes you the Emperor of the world?”

“In terms of power, you could say that, but SEELE’s control over various countries is subtle; I won’t step forward personally.”

“That’s still an Emperor, you could call it an Imperial Emperor!” Misato’s eyes turned, and she clapped her hands: “Then I’m the Emperor’s woman—oh no, guardian. Isn’t that more powerful than the Secretary-General of the UN!”

Tap, tap, tap.

Seeing her excitement, Shinji immediately knocked on the table, warning her sternly: “Power is the thing that those filthy creatures are best at using to tempt others. You must not get too excited.”

‘It’s so boring to have such immense power and still act so aloof.’

Misato crinkled her nose and suddenly realized that an Astartes really was a bad deal.

Clearly possessing super strength and wisdom, with a will like steel, he still had to be as cautious as an ascetic monk. If an ordinary person obtained the power to control the world, they would have long since taken off.

But Shinji truly had no intention of acting. Don’t mention being the master of the puppet master; even if he were a Planetary Governor, so what? He didn’t know how many corrupted governors he had already killed. Titles like “ruler of the world” had long since become worthless to him.

‘What? Empire Regent? This must be a Slaaneshi conspiracy to corrupt me!’

An Astartes was just this weird. Of course, it could also be called a nobility that ignored the desire for power, which was why it was hard to understand Misato’s excitement at her sudden rise in status.

“Calm down. Why get so excited over such a small matter? And don’t tell Asuka and the others. Your reaction makes me very uncomfortable.”

Shinji didn’t want to repeat the experience he was having right now. That kind of worship of power made him silently recite The Emperor protects ten times in his head.

“Got it, got it. Let’s just keep it as our little secret.” Misato rubbed her face, recovering to normal, her eyes carrying a bit of teasing. “Great Emperor Shinji, do you have any tasks for your humble servant?”

‘Emperor… what a blasphemous title. You’re addicted to playing this game, aren’t you?’

Shinji gritted his teeth and looked at the breakfast left on the table. The two girls had left and not come back, which made him, a practitioner of strict thrift, very unhappy.

A few seconds later, the boy at the pinnacle of Earth’s power issued his first order.

“Eat up everything on the table.”