The Trash Returned from Warhammer

”How unlucky, getting lectured first thing in the morning.”

Asuka walked along the road with her head hanging. Since it was spring break, there weren’t many people on the wide streets, and in the distance was a massive construction site.

Her battle with the Angel Bardiel had nearly leveled the old city district, which at least saved on demolition costs. That area was being converted into a new city defense fortification; the task of budgeting and planning, of course, fell to the ultimate corporate slave, Gendo Ikari.

Asuka didn’t care about any of that. She stole a glance at Rei Ayanami, who was half a meter away. Their eyes met, and sparks flew in the air once again.

After Asuka stopped hiding her feelings, the relationship between the two had become abruptly tense. However, because the boy walking ahead of them was far too domineering, they didn’t dare take things too far, settling instead for ”eye-fencing.”

”Shinji invited me. Why did you tag along?”

”You’re on break, I’m on break. Why should I have to stay home?”

”Nonsense. You’re clearly just monitoring me.”

”So what if I am?”

”You don’t need to go this far—following me even when I go to the bathroom!”

Perhaps because they spent so much time together, their synchronization rate was freakishly high—high enough to read each other’s expressions perfectly. Asuka snorted. She was different now; that ”jumping off a building” contract couldn’t bind her anymore. It wasn’t like jumping from the first floor would kill her.

Of course, the other leverage was lethal, causing her to rarely speak German lately.

’Phew, how do I take the next step?’

Asuka was pondering this, sticking to the underlying logic of ”Germanic Winning Theory”: wouldn’t she be the winner as long as she beat Rei? Anyway, this idiot is so vacant; her brain definitely isn’t as sharp as mine.

’Winning underwear?’

No, the ”Old Fuddy-Duddy” would lecture her for wearing anything even slightly sexy. Even Misato didn’t dare be as casual as she used to be.

’A date?’

I can’t shake this idiot off. What’s the fun in a three-person date?

If all else fails, a night raid is the only option. But Shinji warned me not to sneak into his room, saying it would be ”dangerous.”

’Dammit! I just want a normal romance. Why is it so hard?’

”I told you before, Shinji-kun is invincible.”

Rei found the sight of Asuka’s internal struggle amusing. In some ways, Shinji really didn’t seem like an Earthling—at the very least, he lacked the impulses of boys his age. He was almost devoid of weaknesses.

But her smile gradually faded. This wasn’t exactly good news for her either. In terms of mental flexibility, she was no match for Asuka; in terms of physical attraction, she ranked below Misato Katsuragi and Ritsuko Akagi. If she had an advantage, it was that she was trained personally by Shinji.

’Looking at it this way, I don’t have any advantage at all. Asuka is my friend, Shinji-kun needs their strength, and I can’t exactly knife them.’

Her red eyes blinked and suddenly lost their highlights. Her head simply couldn’t come up with a better plan, and she eventually circled back to the starting point: ’In any case, I just won’t let you lot get an easy win.’

”Did I do something bad?”

Shinji rubbed the bridge of his nose. He could feel the emotions of the two behind him surging like a roller coaster.

His nose felt itchy—a premonition of being plotted against.

”What are you two thinking about?”

’Sneaking in for a night raid.’

’Tripping everyone else up.’

Asuka and Rei almost blurted it out. They glanced at each other and turned their heads away.

”Uh, I was thinking about what to do today.”

”Me too. Maybe we should eat out for lunch.”

”You two aren’t listening to me at all.” Shinji felt somewhat helpless and explained, ”We’re going to the school today to watch the football club’s match. These are elite recruits I spent a full two days training.”

Linking ”football” with ”recruits” felt inherently strange. Asuka’s eyes lit up as she suddenly remembered.

That was the side-quest idiot Shinji took on while they were on vacation at the beach. She hadn’t realized a week had already passed.

”Oh right! We still have our bet! Whoever loses has to do one thing the winner asks!”

The opportunity had arrived! She had already decided on the reward: a single kiss. By then, a certain someone would be crying into her pillow. Hahaha, just thinking about it was exciting.

”So much confidence in beating me?” Shinji’s competitive streak was instantly triggered.

”Of course! Your ’training’ has absolutely nothing to do with football.” Asuka put her hands on her hips, unable to wait any longer. She grabbed Shinji and started running.

”Hurry up! And no backing out of the bet!”

Rei hesitated for a moment. By the time she looked up, the two had already run off. At first, she thought it was bad—given Shinji-kun’s honorable nature, wouldn’t this give Asuka an opening? But she soon felt she was worrying over nothing.

How could Asuka possibly win?

-

--

-

The trio soon arrived at the school. Since it was spring break, the campus was quiet. They reached the stadium to find a few scattered people in the stands; Kensuke Aida and the others had arrived, along with a group of burly, dark-skinned guys warming up.

The football club from Tokyo Metropolitan First Junior High had arrived. This school was from Tokyo-2 and was considered a strong team in the Japanese campus leagues. They were known for their aggressive style; playing against them usually resulted in a few injuries. They were famous (or infamous) ”dirty players.”

When these guys saw Asuka and Rei, their eyes lit up, and they began to run with even more vigor.

Unlike the original timeline, these two girls had formed a band and appeared in public; they were top-tier celebrities. Fortunately, the Shinji following behind them was far too terrifying, so no one dared to harass them. They merely peeked and made snide remarks.

”A shame. These two stars are at a garbage school.”

”Yeah, Tokyo-3 only has that one school. It’s full of ’connected’ kids. Their scores are at the bottom of the Tokyo Metropolitan area.”

”Bah, they just got lucky with their birth. Why do they get to enjoy all these resources?”

”Hahaha, you call watching monsters fight every day ’lucky’?”

”But that Asuka and Rei are so beautiful. It would be great if one could be my girlfriend.”

”In your dreams.”

”You never know. Let’s put on a good show later.”

Shinji turned to look. The words were harsh, but not overly excessive. The students of the First Junior High were mostly children of NERV personnel; they had more evacuation drills than academic classes and enjoyed the most abundant food supplies. In this era, while order hadn’t collapsed, enjoying the material supplies of the pre-Second Impact world wasn’t simple.

Still, he frowned.

In the 40K universe, one thing was universal: an extreme sense of collective honor. Every Chapter had its unique culture—no, even the Astra Militarum was the same. This was related to the Empire’s recruitment policy; usually, a regiment originated from a single planet. And the Astartes, even more so, shared the same gene-seed and were brothers in the sense of bloodline.

This ”clique culture” had indirectly triggered the Great Heresy of the 30K era. Most Legions had deep barriers and didn’t even like each other. Many Astartes, even knowing something was wrong, would be swept up by the entire Legion and follow the Primarch’s orders unconditionally.

Except for the Emperor, who held a transcendent status, even a Primarch couldn’t command other Legions. This led Guilliman to promulgate the Codex Astartes to break the Legions apart. Of course, he didn’t expect the Codex to be used for nearly ten thousand years.

Whether it was the students of the First Junior High or NERV, in Shinji’s eyes, they were ”his people.” This caused his gaze to instantly become sharp.

”So scary. Is that Shinji Ikari?”

”Seen the videos online? He really is like a monster.”

”Maybe we shouldn’t ask for the stars’ contact info after all.”

”What’s to fear? We’ll provoke him later and set a bet. He’s a public figure; he should care about his reputation.”

’Childish.’

Shinji didn’t bother with them. The things in the heads of boys this age were shallow. He turned his head, only to see a smug Asuka.

”What are you so proud of? Do you have no sense of collective honor?”

”I’m not in the football club,” Asuka said dismissively, puffing out her chest. ”Ha! I told you, how could anyone not like me? My charm is clearly still in effect.”

Perhaps because of her Western upbringing, she didn’t care about those idiots’ leering gazes; didn’t it just prove her attractiveness? She flashed a sly smile and skipped over to Shinji’s side.

”Getting nervous? These guys want to date me~”

”I’m not nervous.” Shinji didn’t even look at her. She was having another ”episode.”

”Oh, come on, be honest. Not even a tiny bit of urgency?”

”No.”

’Wow. Immune to both soft and hard tactics, huh?’

Asuka bit her lip and snorted. ”Then I’ll go give them my contact info right now. Maybe I can find some time to play with them.”

She turned to leave, but before she took half a step, a hand pressed down on her shoulder. She secretly rejoiced.

’Ha! Why didn’t I see that this idiot had a ”tsundere” side before? Who did he learn that from?’

”Changed your mind?”

”No. I’m just reminding you not to cause harm.” Shinji raised his hand and pointed at the security guards and maintenance workers at the edge of the field. They were exceptionally strong.

”The contact information of a Pilot is classified. Whoever you give it to will be taken away by the Security Department for ’tea’.”

”...”

Asuka walked away dejectedly. She really couldn’t find a single crack in this hardcore idiot’s armor. Rei Ayanami’s face was cold; she had no intention of following Asuka’s lead in using the situation to make a point.

First Junior High being insulted by the First High was an insult to Shinji-kun. If she knew how to play football, she would have loved to take the field herself.

”Can they win?”

”No problem. I’ve checked the data. First High is famous for its rough play—they call it ’Killer Football.’ As long as it involves killing, no one is a match for my apprentices.” Shinji stood perfectly straight, observing the opponents with a gaze devoid of emotion.

Rei felt something was off, but said nothing. Then, a dark-skinned boy with high cheekbones, looking like a gorilla, walked over.

”Which one of you is the captain?”

”Me.” Shinji took a step forward. His much stronger physique immediately caused the boy’s arrogance to vanish. But feeling he couldn’t lose face in front of the goddesses, he braced himself and met the gaze.

”We’ve been warming up for ages. Where are they? If you’re going to forfeit, do it early. If the trains stop running later, how are we supposed to get back to Tokyo-2?”

It proved that a strong physique could prevent all sorts of melodramatic incidents; even this captain, known for his explosive temper, was forced to speak civilly.

”Do not worry. Tokyo-3 has ample medical resources. I have already arranged for hospital beds to be reserved for you.”

The captain froze. He had seen many people talk tough before a match, but he had never seen someone like Shinji—whose tone carried no emotion, as if he were simply stating an inevitable result. He suddenly felt flustered.

”Y-you better not use any dirty tricks off the field.”

”Rest assured. You are not worthy of them. This is a fair Duel to the Death between First Junior High and First High.”

’Duel to the... Death???’

He grew even more flustered. He looked up and saw the orange-haired beauty waving her support at him. His courage instantly redoubled.

”Tch. I’ll just wait to see how those sissies beat us then.” The captain spat and quickly scurried away.

”I can never figure out whose side she’s on.” Rei looked over. Asuka was cheering excitedly, leaving Kensuke Aida and the others nearby looking at each other in confusion.

”Asuka is no longer fragile, but her competitiveness remains. She just wants to beat me. That way, she will gain supreme courage and be able to do anything.” Shinji snorted and raised his hand.

With a roll of thunder, a rain shower began to fall from the overcast sky. A line of figures dressed in camouflage uniforms walked silently onto the field. They marched in a perfect column, their faces covered in scars, their eyes squinting. Like Shinji, they showed little emotion, completely ignoring the middle fingers and boos from nearby. They stood quietly behind Shinji.

Shinji looked at them and opened his arms.

”No matter how much courage she has, she has no chance of winning against my killing machines.”

Rei blinked and suddenly realized these people looked like they were all cast from the same mold. They were terrifying. Just then, the first raindrops fell. She looked up. The sky was filled with dark clouds.

Splash—

The clouds were thick, and thunder rumbled. As the rain fell, the few spectators scrambled for cover. But the line of warriors standing in the rain remained motionless. Having experienced much harsher journeys, this bit of wind and rain was inconsequential.

Hikari Horaki quickly ran over. After all, she was the one who had taken on the task of rebuilding the football club; Shinji was just helping out. She quickly focused on the boy in the center—the captain, Ichiro Aizawa.

The boy, who had once been fair-skinned and led everyone in pre-match ”prayers for no injuries,” was now dark-skinned with scrapes and sharp-object wounds on his cheeks. To say he was different from before was an understatement; it was a complete character overhaul. Hikari looked at him with some fear.

”Aizawa-kun, are... are you okay?”

”I am fine. I have prepared for battle. I only await the Monk’s command to tear apart all enemies of the Empire.”

’Battle? Tear apart?’

Hikari froze for several seconds before recovering. She finally understood why her boyfriend refused to participate in Shinji’s special training even if it killed him. This really was a transformation.

”Then... are you going to check the field for pebbles and lead everyone in prayer like before?”

”I will pray.” Ichiro Aizawa said calmly. Before the class rep could breathe a sigh of relief, he added: ”I pray for the Emperor to grant us strength and the courage to kill. We shall demonstrate our loyalty with the blood of our enemies.”

’It’s over. This person has been completely brainwashed by Shinji-kun.’

”What loyalty. It seems you finally look like men.” Shinji stepped forward. He hadn’t maliciously brainwashed them; this state would only be triggered in specific situations.

Normally, they would just be... well, more hardcore and more resolute.

”Our growth stems from the Monk’s teachings.”

”Excellent. You may perform your pre-battle prayers.”

Watching a group of people drop to one knee with such fanatical expressions left the First High team looking at each other, wondering what these ”sissies” were up to. They huddled together, deciding to take one of them out with a tackle early on to break their spirits.

Shinji gave them ample time for pre-battle planning. He looked at Hikari and said, ”Don’t worry. This battle is a guaranteed victory.”

”No, you only trained them for two days! How could there be such a big change?”

”Psionic power. To be precise, it was nine days of time. Afterward, Marc took over and conducted intensive training.” Shinji looked into the distance, where a special agent in a black suit stood in the shadows, still looking wooden.

That was a true psionic puppet, devoid of any self-awareness.

”He was responsible for strengthening their stamina and grappling techniques. Strong will alone is not enough without ability.”

”Uh, I can understand stamina, but this is a football match! What’s the use of training in grappling? You should have trained them in tactics and ball skills!”

”First High is known for its ’Killer Football.’ Grappling is necessary.”

’Fine. You just latched onto the keyword ’Killer’, didn’t you?’

Hikari gave up. She instantly understood why Asuka spent all day looking dejected. This person’s thinking wasn’t even on the same frequency as a normal person. Talking to him was exhausting.

”N-nothing bad will happen, right?”

”Rest assured. I have already ordered the Medical Department to be prepared, and I have instructed them not to kill the enemy, lest Misato complains.”

Shinji waved his hand. An Emperor’s Champion must crush his opponents in every aspect, using victory to wash away disdain and humiliation. He saw the football club members slowly rise, then he put his hands behind his back in a parade rest stance.

”You bunch of failures cost me two whole days. Now it is your turn to show your worth. Tell me, what have you learned?”

”BATTLE! GLORY! LOYALTY!” The synchronized roar drowned out the thunder. The football club members didn’t look fired up; their expressions remained numb and cold.

But that was the essence. No Astartes of any Chapter would charge in screaming like a madman; they would only coldly calculate every detail.

”Excellent. This represents your transition from failure to becoming qualified football players. Tell me, what are you best at?”

”BATTLE! SLAUGHTER! ANNIHILATION!”

”The horn of battle has sounded. I, Emperor’s Champion, command you: Crush your enemies. No failure will be accepted.”

With a unified movement, they shed their camouflage uniforms, revealing the scarred football jerseys underneath. These were their battle garments. With a synchronized ”For the Emperor,” they stepped onto the field.

’This... something is definitely wrong.’

Asuka held an umbrella and turned her head, meeting Rei’s gaze. She had a million things she wanted to criticize.

”It’s certainly Shinji-kun’s style. Anything can be turned into a battle.”

”Yeah. Asking us to do some ’Duel of Honor’... is that an idea a normal person could come up with?” Asuka felt a shared sense of sympathy. Shinji wasn’t targeting her; he was just this serious about everything.

In this moment, the two girls’ gazes reached an agreement. Soon, Rei coughed lightly, reminding herself how she could possibly speak ill of Shinji-kun.

”But you’re going to lose.”

”Who says? This is a football match, not a boxing match. I’ve checked First High; they really are strong. In a contest for the ball...” Asuka suddenly shut her mouth. She had said this morning she forgot about the football match; wasn’t she slapping her own face now?

”Ahem. Anyway, I won’t lose.”

With a whistle, the match kicked off at center circle. Since none of the three understood football, they were just watching the spectacle. Fortunately, Toji Suzuhara knew a bit and started commentating.

”Oh, the formation is 5-3-2... I didn’t expect you to know football, Shinji. Knowing your side’s strength is lacking, you’re going for a hard defense.”

”Formation? I only know the Phalanx, the Square, and the Wedge. They thought of this themselves.” Shinji rested his chin in his hand, thinking this game called football was actually quite interesting. It seemed such sports activities no longer existed in the 40K era.

Both sides chased the ball. After an interception, there was a long diagonal pass, then a dink-and-go, a lob... actually, junior high football was just what it was—mostly physical confrontation and scrambling for 50-50 balls. Whoever flinched was destined to lose.

First High’s moves were aggressive. Besides pulling jerseys, they would actually launch sliding tackles. In the past, a few bumps would have scared these First Junior High ”sissies.” But this time was different. Even when the opponents resorted to pushing from behind and malicious elbows, these guys dared to fight back.

”Something’s not right. How did these guys’ playstyle get so hard?”

”Yeah, we played them last month. We launched a slide tackle and they just forfeited. This time they actually dared to go foot-to-foot with us.”

”The referee is calling it loose. Let’s push the limit.”

”Won’t that cause trouble?”

”Don’t worry. That Shinji Ikari can’t take the field.”

A corner was taken, and the situation on the field abruptly changed. While contesting for a header, a First High player spread his elbows and slammed them directly into Ichiro Aizawa’s forehead. With a thump, Aizawa fell into the mud. The referee quickly blew the whistle to stop play.

”That’s a malicious foul! Give him a card!” Toji jumped up, somewhat puzzled. ”Why are the First High bastards even harder? Didn’t you train our guys?”

”If I hadn’t trained them, they would have deserted long ago.” Shinji shook his head and said coldly, ”The class rep told me about fouls in football matches and that a red card gets you sent off.”

”Are you testing the referee’s limits?”

”Yes. I said that fanatical fighting only turns you into a madman. A true warrior should know how to use wisdom. Now, they have given me the answer.” Shinji stood up and made a slashing motion across his throat with his thumb.

”Do it. The Monk has issued the command. We can fight with all our strength within the rules.”

Ichiro Aizawa climbed up and wiped the blood dripping from his forehead. His nonchalant expression was bone-chilling.

’Wait, don’t you feel pain? Do you want me to call the team doctor?’

The First High players hadn’t even reacted yet. With the referee’s whistle, Aizawa, who had stepped back a few paces, kicked the ball with extreme force. The ball flew out like a cannonball. With a bang, it slammed into the opposing forward’s face. The latter didn’t even scream; teeth flew into the air as he fell backward.

Plop.

Muddy water splashed on the wet grass. The First High players were dumbfounded. Seeing their teammate twitching on the ground, Aizawa spat.

”Tch. He’s still alive. Strength is still too low.”

”You did that on purpose!”

”It was much more civilized than your malicious elbow.” Aizawa looked over coldly, leaving the opponent speechless. He saw the team doctor shake his head. The man was carried off directly on a stretcher, and a substitute took the field, trembling.

”Ready to experience real Killer Football?” Aizawa looked at his silent teammates and raised his hand slightly. ”Don’t forget the Monk’s teachings. We shall crush them with glory.”

The style on the field changed instantly. Shrieks of agony began to erupt frequently. Rather than a football match, it looked more like a hunt.

The players in black jerseys from First High were rolling in the mud. Whenever they had the ball, someone would charge at them with a violent aura. Those sharp eyes revealed only one intent: The ball can pass, but the man stays.

The ball-carrier’s heart trembled, and he quickly passed back. But the player in the red jersey sprinted right through.

Bang!

Two feet kicked both sides of the ball simultaneously. It was the black-clad figure who screamed and clutched his foot as he fell.

After the clash, the ball was deflected to the side. Another First High player had just settled the ball when he saw a red shadow flying toward him along the ground. Then, his entire body spun in the air before crashing heavily into the mud.

Beep—!

The referee quickly stopped play and pulled out a yellow card. It wasn’t that he was protecting them; he simply couldn’t justify a red card. The red-clad figure hadn’t raised his studs during the tackle and had hit the ball first. That terrifying scene was just incidental contact.

”Number 2, watch your movements. Number 7 will handle the next attack.”

”Understood.”

The match—no, the hunt—continued. It proved that First Junior High was far from being as dirty and underhanded as their opponents. They never looked innocent and appealed to the referee after a foul, nor did they use petty tricks.

They were simply braver. In sideline confrontations, they would throw their bodies in. When the opponent grew frustrated and resorted to another malicious elbow, they would skillfully use grappling techniques to follow the force and—snap—dislocate the opponent’s arm, then look at the screaming enemy with disdain.

’Can’t even handle this little bit of pain. So weak.’

”See? This is the use of grappling techniques.” Shinji nodded approvingly and explained, ”Skills are used to protect oneself. In the eyes of the referee, the enemy’s movements were larger; this player was merely evading.”

”Shinji, you’ve created a new school of play.” Toji was dumbfounded. Others practiced ball skills and tactics; you’re practicing how to eliminate the opposing players within the rules.

It emphasized team coordination, was incredibly fierce, yet extremely cunning. They wouldn’t get hot-headed and do something stupid to get sent off. Yes, typical Astartes style.

”Tactics exist for victory. I merely tailored the most suitable track for them.” Shinji withdrew his gaze. There was no longer any need to watch. The enemy’s morale had collapsed under First Junior High’s swift assault; they no longer dared to contest for the ball.

As an exercise emphasizing physical confrontation, no matter how high the enemy’s skill, they couldn’t execute it. Soon, the score was 7-0, causing a certain someone behind him to jump up.

”This is cheating! It’s unsportsmanlike!” Asuka shook her fist. Seeing the First High team being driven around like ducks, she wished she could take the field herself. Of course, that was just a thought—in such intense confrontation, she would break apart instantly.

”Speaking of sportsmanship, First High with their elbows and ankle-snapping slide tackles... they seem even less fit to mention ethics. Their damage affects a person’s career; my damage only crushes their confidence.”

”Ah, well, anyway, neither of you have ethics! This doesn’t count!”

Hikari and the others covered their faces. They felt Asuka was regressing—acting like a child throwing a tantrum. Wasn’t she the one who cared most about her image?

Shinji didn’t pay her any mind. As a serious person, he despised such dishonorable behavior. Under that cold gaze, Asuka made a scene for a while before resigning herself and drooping her head.

”Fine. What do you want me to do?”

”Simple. I want to tell you something, and you must find the courage to endure it.” Shinji said solemnly. He wanted to tell Asuka that he actually understood Gothic/German; he hadn’t dared say it before she was supplemented. But seeing the curious faces of Hikari and the others, he shook his head slightly.

”Forget it. I’ll save it. I’ll tell you when there’s a better opportunity.”

’Just say it already!’

The solemn expression scared Asuka. She swallowed, her heart in her throat. Seeing his hesitation, she suddenly had a bad feeling.

’No way... has he made a decision? Is he afraid I’ll collapse, so he’s telling me to find courage? But what was with the way he looked at the class rep and the others just now?’

At that moment, the final whistle blew. In the mud-pit of a field, the First High players were face-down on the ground crying, while a group of red-clad figures looked to the sky and let out beast-like roars.

Absolute confidence, absolute hunger for glory. This batch of warriors had matured. First Junior High would use their steel-like bodies and wills to crush all competitors.

Shinji looked at his creation with satisfaction. He didn’t know yet that the Japanese campus leagues were about to face a storm. Besides the ”tiki-taka” and ”park the bus” styles...

Killer Football had officially arrived.

Read ahead (100 chapters) by supporting me on buymeacoffee com/varietl or ko-fi edwriting