The Trash Returned from Warhammer

NERV, Underground Hangar.

The blast doors opened, and Shinji stepped onto the umbilical bridge. From a distance, he saw the girl with ice-blue hair standing on the bridge, facing Unit-02, which was wrapped head-to-toe in bandages.

”Rei, why are you here?”

”Shinji-kun.”

Seeing him, Rei Ayanami beamed with a smile and ran over quickly, complaining, ”It’s because of Asuka. The Class Rep and the others are very worried.”

”So you came for her too.”

Shinji glanced at Unit-02, already able to track a gaze from within.

”Well? Did you get her to come out?”

”She’s playing dead. Didn’t you say her trauma was resolved? Why did she suddenly go into self-isolation?”

’It’s precisely because her trauma was resolved that she’s isolating.’

After all, she had exposed her most fragile side; someone as obsessed with appearances as Asuka couldn’t stand that.

Shinji didn’t answer directly. Seeing Rei reminded him of something.

”By the way, since you’re here: Unit-00 will be assigned to Kensuke from now on. You’ll be moving to Unit-03. In terms of performance, Unit-03 is much stronger.”

”Okay.”

Rei, of course, would not object. Even if Shinji told her to fight an Angel with her bare hands, she would execute the order. She tilted her head and asked, ”But Unit-03 is severely damaged. It won’t be usable in the short term, will it?”

”No rush. Until Unit-03 is repaired, if an Angel attacks, you’ll still sortie in Unit-00. I’ll take this opportunity to give Unit-03 a complete overhaul.”

Shinji figured since Unit-03 didn’t have any special ”gimmicks,” it would have to rely on the power of technology.

Thump—

Just as he was about to continue the briefing, the umbilical bridge shook a few times. Clearly, a certain person ”playing dead” was very dissatisfied; even the coffin lid was rattling.

’Hey! Aren’t you here to talk about me? Why are you pivoting to Unit-03?’

”Alright, back to Asuka’s problem. Do you want to know why she’s acting so reclusive?”

Shinji found a counter-strategy and immediately said, ”It’s simple, really. She just doesn’t know what expression to use when facing me.”

’Why does that sound so familiar?’

Rei remembered her former self. It was the same reason, though in her case, she truly hadn’t known.

”So, what did Shinji-kun see?”

”The origin of Asuka’s Heart... no wonder she’s like a hedgehog, so competitive. Let me tell you...”

”ALRIGHT! STOP! DON’T SAY IT! I’M COMING OUT!”

The moment Shinji opened his mouth, the Entry Plug hissed open. A beet-red girl stood there, looking like she’d die on the spot if he said another word.

Letting Shinji see the deepest parts of her heart was humiliating enough; if Rei Ayanami found out too, how could she go on living?

’See? Getting her out is that simple.’

Shinji shot Rei a look, and Rei covered her mouth to stifle a giggle. As expected, Shinji-kun had a way of handling Asuka—he had her completely figured out.

”You go to the lounge first. I’ll talk to her.”

”Okay.”

Rei nodded and started to walk away, but just as she reached the door, something felt wrong. She stopped in her tracks.

She suddenly realized that the current Asuka was different from before. With her personality supplemented, her threat level had spiked. What if she struck while the iron was hot and made a direct move?

The scene from the School Festival flashed back, only this time the ”Disciplinary Committee” had changed roles. She stood dazed for a moment, then silently turned back.

”Why are you back?”

Shinji had just walked to the elevator. Asuka had no intention of coming down, so he had to go up.

”I’ll wait for you both here. Don’t worry, I won’t eavesdrop.”

Rei lifted her head, her gaze locking with Asuka’s, who was standing on the back of Unit-02. The latter’s face was flushed with anger, her eyes full of murderous intent.

’Fine. Before it was me watching you, now it’s your turn to monitor me?’

Sparks seemed to fly in the void, but Rei, being who she was, ignored all threats with her trademark vacant expression.

”This isn’t necessary,” Shinji frowned, clearly understanding the game these two were playing.

”It is necessary. Some people don’t care about a sense of ritual; they just do whatever they feel like. I’ve already let it slide once.”

”Who are you calling ’some people’!?” Asuka brandished a fist.

”Some people.”

Rei had become increasingly assertive lately. Deep down, she was quite disgruntled—she hadn’t even met Shinji-kun’s mother yet.

Seeing her resolute expression, Shinji didn’t say more. He pressed the ”Up” button. As his field of vision rose, he saw that Asuka’s expression was extremely complex.

Hiding inside her mother’s ”body” for the past two days, she had finished her internal debate. Through repeated reflection, she finally understood what she wanted and recognized her ”Id.”

’I like that idiot Shinji. No matter the reason, I just like him.’

That was her true feeling. She realized she had been too dishonest in the past and that their relationship was a gradual process. From rivals to being moved, from being moved to liking him, and from liking him to being stubborn—with her mother’s encouragement, she had decided to move to the next stage.

’I’m going to confess. I’ll confess before anyone else. Idiot Shinji belongs to me.’

Asuka didn’t have Rei’s sense of the ”big picture,” nor did she care for rituals. Her personality was to act decisively once she made up her mind. She glanced at the red eyes staring at her.

’Naive. You think this can stop me? I’m not like you, brainwashed by those romance dramas into insisting on a specific time and place. Even if we’re technically friends, when it’s time to strike, I strike.

Heh, get ready to be the ”loser heroine.” I’m seventy percent sure this idiot won’t refuse.’

She tilted her chin up proudly. This ordeal was a blessing in disguise; if she hadn’t resolved her trauma, who knows how long she would have procrastinated.

Rei’s gaze sharpened. She suddenly felt it was better when Asuka was like a ”glass cannon”—paralyzed by the fear of failure, overthinking all day, and never daring to take that step. But now, she had clearly become ”brave.”

There was a subtle shift: Asuka now had two emotional pillars—Shinji and Unit-02. Even if the former ”hurt” her, she could return to Unit-02 to cry to her mother.

With a safety net, she had naturally become bolder.

Six months ago, Rei was just a doll. Having learned a chaotic mess of things since then, her head was spinning as two contradictory sets of ”study materials” clashed.

On one hand, there were titles like School Days and Mirai Nikki; they validated Asuka’s approach—that this was how a normal person’s view of love should be, and she should just fight her with a cleaver.

On the other hand, there were ”Otaku Bibles” like Negima! and Date A Live. The happy lives of the protagonists therein made her feel that such an arrangement would be most beneficial for Shinji-kun, and it could also keep Asuka and Misato alive.

’What should I do? Which path should I choose?’

’What thick battle intent. Such high purity.’

Shinji looked back and forth. He saw the highlights fade from Rei’s eyes, as if she were about to release an AT Field. Her ice-blue hair began to flutter; there was an almost spiritual pressure emanating from her. Then he looked at the person in front of him.

Asuka rose to the challenge, then immediately retreated. With a ”flash,” she ducked behind the Entry Plug, nearly shouting ”Mama, save me!”

After Instrumentality, Asuka had become brave, but apparently not that brave. Seeing Shinji approach, she immediately filed a complaint.

”Idiot Shinji! She... she... she’s glaring at me!”

”Rei wants to start a war with you? No problem. I’ll prepare a field for you later so you can have a Duel of Honor.”

”Huh?”

Asuka was stunned. This wasn’t following the script at all. What the hell was a Duel of Honor? Shouldn’t you pick a side, or at least play dumb?

Experience proved that an Astartes never retreats; Shinji would not play dumb. Since Asuka wanted to take a step forward and it conflicted with Rei’s position, and since he couldn’t arbitrarily choose a side to join the fight, a Duel of Honor was the best solution.

It was the most fair, the most rational, and the most compliant with the Codex.

”Don’t worry. With me watching, your lives won’t be in danger. NERV has plenty of medical resources.”

Shinji explained calmly. A Duel of Honor wasn’t a duel to the death. Since interests were at odds, they should just fight it out.

”Hey! You’re just escalating the conflict!” Asuka stood on her tiptoes and saw Rei turn around and leave—clearly going to pick out her equipment.

”Escalating the conflict? No, this was always between the two of you. I am the Arbiter.”

’Bah! It’s all because of you!’

Asuka clenched her fists. Her pre-confession shyness had turned entirely into rage. She roared in her heart, ’I’ve really become mad, liking such a non-Earthling.’

Playing cards as if lives were on the line? Fine. Falling in love turns into a Duel of Honor? Is this even Earth anymore?

Uh, this absolutely, definitely wasn’t because she was afraid of Rei—it just defied common sense!

’This idiot! Baka! You could have played dumb, or just watched the tigers fight from the mountain... a Duel of Honor? Only you could come up with that. Now what am I supposed to do? Confess or not? Accept the challenge or not!?’

Wait, why should she accept the challenge? It was just a confession and dating! Competition between women shouldn’t involve dueling, right?

Shouldn’t it be smiles hiding daggers and subtle schemes? Picking up a machete and having a go is way too hardcore!

Her brain was running at full speed. She gritted her teeth, her face flushed, staring dead at Shinji, convinced that either he or she was definitely not normal.

Shinji frowned at her, wondering why the hostility had shifted to him. After a moment of silence, he had an epiphany.

”Could it be that you want a Duel of Honor with me to settle things once and for all? That works. I remember some primitive planets have this custom—the winner takes everything from the loser. If you defeat me, I will be your property.”

Asuka wobbled, nearly face-planting into the Entry Plug. The proposal wasn’t bad, but if she could beat him, would she have spent two days wriggling like a maggot inside Unit-02?

No, no, no! What kind of crap custom is that? It has nothing to do with romance!

Asuka felt like she had been infected by the ”Idiot Virus.”

Her azure eyes glazed over with a layer of mist.

’I just wanted to be the first to confess and become your girlfriend! Instead, one wants to knife me and the other wants a Duel of Honor. Can I just not confess then!?’

”Don’t think so much! I called you over just to say thanks! It has nothing to do with Rei Ayanami! Now go and stop her!”

The courage she had managed to gather finally collapsed before his hardcore logic. Asuka felt so suppressed she wanted to spit blood, cursing that the scenes she had fantasized about for the last two days had gone to the dogs.

”Asuka, face the thoughts in your heart. You should be full of courage.”

Shinji frowned. He had gone through all that trouble to supplement her, so why was she becoming stubborn again?

As his words fell, he saw the girl stagger back two steps, her eyes wide.

’No way... can the heavens really be turned upside down like this!?’

Read ahead (100 chapters) by supporting me on buymeacoffee com/varietl or ko-fi edwriting