The Trash Returned from Warhammer

Shinji was very happy.

He had been invited to Rei Ayanami’s home. The layout of the room had undergone a complete transformation from his memory, now filled with a rich sense of everyday life.

Green plants, photos on the walls, and all kinds of snacks and drinks in the refrigerator made him have to admit that among everyone, Rei had changed the most.

It had only been about half a year since he last visited Rei’s old apartment in the downtown district. Back then, there wasn’t even a stool; it was the physical embodiment of a bare-bones existence.

Of course, in her ”doll” state, Rei didn’t need anything extra—just enough to maintain basic physiological functions. But, much like the final performance during the School Festival, Rei had truly become a human. Now, it seemed she wasn’t just a human, but a person with many interests who knew how to enjoy life.

”I have to say, you know how to enjoy life better than I do.”

Shinji walked a circle around the room. Aside from the bedroom, which was locked, he saw dozens of clothes in different styles, a desk piled high with CDs, and a newly configured computer and sound system. He could only sigh.

”Because you have too many things to do, Ikari-kun, and I have nothing to be busy with. The Class Rep also said that if you realize you are missing something, you should compensate for it.”

Rei carefully tidied up the room, hiding certain things that were bound to be forbidden under the sofa. She had acted on a whim today and forgotten to clean up beforehand.

But Shinji didn’t lecture her. Rei’s changes were just too massive; he needed some time to digest it all.

”Hikari Horaki is right. Those who come from the depths of the Hive Cities almost always tend to overeat once they get ahead; they are truly terrified of hunger.”

Shinji walked through the room. At times, he was quite grateful for people like Hikari Horaki.

He could shield Rei from the wind and rain and tell her what she should do, but he couldn’t teach her how to live. After all, an Astartes’ own life was extremely dull, and his homeland was far less vibrant and colorful than Earth.

”What is this?”

Shinji pointed to a golden wig on the cabinet.

”A prop. Ibuki encouraged me to go to the anime convention in New Tokyo-2. She said there’s a character that fits me very well for cosplay.”

”What is an anime convention? What is cosplay?”

”Uh, it means recreating a character from an anime.”

Rei excitedly pulled out a stack of CDs, pointing to a blonde girl in a maid outfit on one of the covers. Showing one’s interests to the person they like was always a joy.

Shinji nodded repeatedly. He had learned a bunch of messy new knowledge, but he didn’t lecture Rei.

During lulls in combat, the Blood Ravens would organize equipment or practice lock-picking to relax. Rei was just relaxing in her own way, as long as it didn’t affect her combat effectiveness.

”Why are these maid characters always so popular? Is it because people enjoy that sense of obedience?”

”Uh, it’s just because maid outfits look good, I guess.”

Rei could barely keep up with his line of thinking. She pulled a black-and-white, lace-trimmed maid outfit from her wardrobe. ”Ikari-kun, would you like me to wear it for you to see?”

Shinji looked at the clothing and pondered for a moment. Last time the class organized a ”Maid Cafe,” he had turned it into a ”Loyalty Cafe,” so this was the first time he realized this was what Earth’s maid outfits looked like. Aside from the skirt being a bit short, it was about the same as a school uniform.

’Damn it, Kensuke Aida’s intel misled me. No wonder he looked so evasive.’

”Sure, I might as well correct my understanding.”

Rei cheered and headed straight for the bedroom. She didn’t have any of Asuka’s ”looking for loopholes” mentality; she was simply expressing her colorful life as she pleased. After all, she was a blank sheet of paper upon which Shinji had drawn his first splash of color—it was only natural to show him her growth.

She returned after a short while. She wasn’t exactly poised, her face slightly flushed as she clutched the hem of the dress.

”H-how is it?”

Shinji took a look. The pure black skirt was well-tailored, perfectly outlining the girl’s slim and delicate waist. The fluffy skirt, trimmed with white lace, stopped exactly a hand’s breadth above her knees, creating an ”absolute territory” with the white stockings that encased her long, shapely legs.

The fabric was a near-transparent sheer, flowing down like smooth, creamy milk, clinging tightly to the well-proportioned, beautiful lines of her legs, extending from her round, slightly raised knees down to her dainty ankles. It made Rei, who was already incredibly fair-skinned, look even more pure white.

Her fluffy, ice-blue hair cascaded like a waterfall. With the headpiece, Rei looked ethereal and light. Paired with the girl’s shy expression, expectant gaze, and the maid identity—which naturally carried a sense of obedience—it felt as if a single word could make this beautiful girl serve him.

’Hmm, it really is blasphemous. It actually stirred up a trace of desire. Is this what those Slaaneshi abominations mean by ”desire stirred by the exterior”?’

Shinji didn’t stare blankly like a typical teenager; instead, he felt a faint sense of alarm. His thoughts began to spiral infinitely. He was already praising the Emperor’s foresight in using surgery to suppress the instincts of the Astartes long ago.

’Look at this, he thought, just a change of clothes, paired with the right look and expression, can trigger the instincts of a mortal body. If not for the surgery, those abominations would be the Empire’s most terrifying enemy. After all, Slaanesh is an expert at manipulating the human heart.

Slaanesh’s six circles correspond to six deadly temptations: Greed, Gluttony, Lust, Dominion, Vanity, and Sloth. The horror of it is indescribable. As long as a sentient being falls into it, their soul will be completely corroded.

Look, this maid outfit clearly corresponds to Lust, Dominion, and Vanity. As expected, mortal bodies are weak and frail. Just this tiny bit of elements can make the heart beat faster, making one’s gaze linger on the indentations the white stockings leave on her thighs.’

’Wait, this is different from what the Class Rep said.’

Rei blinked. That was right—these were little tricks Hikari Horaki had taught her, but Shinji’s reaction had perfectly avoided every prediction the Class Rep had made.

Shinji had indeed appreciated the sight openly, but what were these fanatical, alarmed, and depressed thoughts that followed? The girl tilted her head.

C-could it be that the great Emperor also wore a maid outfit? Otherwise, why would Ikari-kun have such a fanatical look?

The words were on the tip of her tongue, but she dared not ask. Rei knew that any act of blasphemy against the great Emperor would genuinely make Shinji angry. She could only gently clutch her skirt and increase the intensity.

”Welcome home, Master. Would you like to have dinner, a bath, or...”

”I am your battle-brother, not your Master.”

Shinji took a deep breath, frowning. ”In a broad sense, only the great Emperor has the qualifications to be a warrior’s Master. You are not a noble’s private soldier, and in a narrow sense, you have no Master.”

’Uh, that’s still not what the Class Rep said.’

She hadn’t said this would trigger some kind of ”male animal instinct”? Why was Ikari-kun starting to lecture her?

Rei was just about to explain what ”role-playing” and ”flirtation” meant when she saw Shinji slam a fist hard against his own chest with a dull thud, then raise a hand to stop the girl who was about to rush forward.

”Don’t panic. I am correcting my own wavering. Sigh, that for a moment, I let desire transcend reason. Do you know what that would have meant in the past?”

”What would it have meant?”

Rei shook her head blankly.

”It would mean I was no longer loyal. I would be isolated by the Chapter, subjected to long-term investigations by the Chaplains, and perhaps even removed from front-line duty. Because any trace of wavering could cause a monstrous wave, plunging a Chapter or an entire planet into desperate straits.”

There was a trace of pain in Shinji’s eyes; he had clearly suffered such blows many times before.

’Loyalty is not absolute is absolutely not loyal’—this wasn’t a meme. How many distinguished, incredibly loyal heroes had become pawns of Chaos just because of a tiny crack in their minds? 40K was just too dangerous. Human emotions were the raw materials for Chaos to corrode.

’God help me, to be able to see pain when a cute girl wears a maid outfit.’

Rei scratched her head. The Class Rep said this would definitely make Ikari-kun react, but she hadn’t expected the reaction to be this intense. If the Class Rep knew, she’d probably go crazy.

She took a step forward, wanting to hug Shinji and say, ”Don’t be afraid, there’s no Slaanesh here,” but she didn’t do it. Instead, she felt she understood this ”non-Earthling” that Asuka spoke of much better.

Certain things were deep-rooted. He had stayed in a dangerous and desperate world for too long; these things had seeped into his very marrow, which was why he was so different from Earthlings. No wonder Ikari-kun said he was ”completing his Instrumentality.”

”But you have already left that desperate place.”

She gently took Shinji’s hand, and he didn’t react violently.

”Yes, I enjoy this life. It’s as if there’s no need to maintain the past attitude of life or restrain myself with the Codex. In fact, I am changing, slowly accepting the pace of life in my homeland.”

Shinji regained his calm. He had already changed a lot; he just occasionally suffered from stress triggers.

In the past, if any maid had dared to seduce an Astartes Brother so bluntly, a bolter would have been pressed against her forehead before she could even finish her sentence.

”But you still can’t forget the past. Many things have seeped into your marrow. It doesn’t matter; we can take it slow.”

Rei held Shinji’s hand, but her eyes looked toward the entryway. The door had been surreptitiously opened into a crack; clearly, someone couldn’t hold back anymore.

”It’s not like that. My Instrumentality is still missing a key element. I don’t know if this correction is correct, which is why I haven’t lowered my guard.”

Shinji frowned, seeing the trembling pupils in Rei’s eyes, and finally laid his cards on the table.

That was correct—he was planning the future of humanity, yet he didn’t know where his own future lay. If he had to return to 40K to continue his service at the end of the story, then his ”Instrumentality” on Earth would become a fatal flaw.

The gap between the two worlds was just too vast. Becoming a normal Earthling after Instrumentality wasn’t necessarily a good thing, because a normal Earthling couldn’t survive in 40K.

This was the most fundamental contradiction—a contradiction that neither Hikari Horaki’s methods nor Ritsuko Akagi’s schemes could correct.

With Rei’s intelligence, she couldn’t think of a way either. She had been skillfully avoiding this problem, but she hadn’t expected the Class Rep to miscalculate and end up triggering the topic. Her eyes were fixed on the crack in the door.

’Come and cover for me! Aren’t you supposed to be brave?’

Bang!

Just as the atmosphere was sliding from ambiguous to deeply philosophical, the door was finally kicked open. An irate orange-haired girl stood with her hands on her hips, instantly turning the uncanny atmosphere into a joyous one.

Asuka, making her grand entrance.

If Rei, with the soul of Lilith, carried an aura of philosophy—where her cold presence always triggered musings on heavy topics like the soul, fate, and philosophy—then Asuka was an atmosphere-shredder. As long as she was around, it was hard to stay in a ”dark, depressing, and cruel” mood.

She did as she pleased, was straightforward, stubborn as a mule, and thick-skinned after Instrumentality. She was the polar opposite of Rei. Shinji put away the trace of uncertainty in his heart and turned around, right into those azure eyes.

Asuka’s eyes were spitting fire. She couldn’t care less where Shinji’s future lay. The idiot was right by her side, so why overthink it? If you like someone, just try your hardest to win them. Even if he ran off later, she’d just spend her days drawing circles to curse him.

She wasn’t as considerate as Rei, who got herself trapped while thinking for others. She simply gave them a once-over, her eyes filled with schadenfreude.

’Thanks! I told you Misato’s lousy plan wouldn’t be easy to pull off. This guy isn’t an Earthling; there’s no way he’d fall for that.

Hahaha, your maid outfit is really powerful—it made that idiot beat himself up! No, I have to go back and write this down.’

Rei, who had just felt a surge of gratitude, clenched her fists. Her eyes drifted toward the knife rack in the kitchen, but she saw Asuka take off her shoes, walk in barefoot, and circle around Shinji.

”What are you doing?”

Shinji knew this girl had been eavesdropping outside.

”Tsk, tsk, tsk. The symptoms haven’t worsened. Oh, it seems someone’s ’sneak a head start’ plan succeeded. It triggered your reaction, didn’t it? That’s high-level. Rei actually had to bring out a trump card like a maid outfit to trigger a reaction.”

”You’re pretty brave.”

Shinji squinted slightly. The heavy emotions that had just emerged vanished instantly. Asuka also came with her own aura.

”I’ve always been super brave, okay?”

Asuka wasn’t afraid in the slightest. She jumped to the side of the stunned Rei and grabbed her shoulders. ”Even though this idiot has skinny arms and legs and no femininity, this ’pure’ style suits her well. Baka Shinji, why are you thinking so far ahead? Just tell me, does she look good or not?”

”She looks good. It suits Rei.”

Shinji nodded, then shook his head. ”I didn’t mean to deny it, it’s just...”

”That’s enough, then. You’re on Earth now. We only have Angels here, not those terrifying monsters. Or are you scared? Do you feel you’re so easily swayed that if some ’Slaanesh’ suddenly jumped out, you’d have to raise your hands and surrender?”

”How could that be? I would still tear them to pieces.”

”Then there you have it. Do what you have to do where you are. We can worry about the future when we get there.”

”That’s sophistry. If you don’t prepare in advance, death is the best outcome.”

”Why would I stop moving forward for a possibility? I trained so hard before and still couldn’t beat the Angels, yet here I am, living just fine.”

Asuka placed her hands on her chest, overflowing with absolute confidence.

”You idiot, you think too much all the time, always wanting to be as precise as a clock. But have you ever thought that if this idiot dies at the hands of an Angel next time, you won’t be able to appreciate this maid outfit anymore?”

”I won’t let that happen.”

”Then you’re not necessarily going back either!”

Asuka suddenly raised her voice, her will incredibly firm: ”Don’t you always sigh about that Emperor’s mercy? You’ve done so many things, completed so many missions—is He really going to drag you back and press you until you’re beef jerky?”

That, he truly couldn’t be sure of.

Shinji wanted to say as much, but the words died in his throat. He fell silent, feeling that what Asuka said also made sense.

Back when he first went to 40K, he was also lost and in despair, but because he kept moving forward, he returned to his homeland. If he had stopped, the grass on his grave would probably be 20 meters tall by now.

But an Astartes wasn’t someone who couldn’t listen to advice; at least, he could listen to the advice of his own people.

”You’re pretty good at lecturing, Asuka. How come I didn’t notice that before?”

The girl shrank her neck. She was being too brave today. In the past, whenever Shinji glared, she would wither away with a curse, but the atmosphere had been built up to this point—if she backed down now, wouldn’t it be too embarrassing?

”You just noticed? Hurry, look at this idiot carefully and give me a serious evaluation.”

Shinji’s expression turned solemn. He looked at the blushing Rei, this time without any vigilance against Chaos corruption, simply appreciating her as an Earthling.

The light penetrated the sheer fabric, vaguely revealing the snow-white skin beneath. The round collar revealed a shallow valley—the girl’s barely budding peaks—and her slender arms exuded a sense of soft beauty and fragility.

”Very beautiful, Rei. I’ve grasped what Kensuke meant by ’light and fluffy moe.’”

”Y-you like it, so that’s good, Ikari-kun.”

Rei lowered her head. She hadn’t expected that after such a long detour, her goal would actually be reached. There wasn’t a trace of 40K in his gaze.

She tugged her hem and performed a curtsy, then whispered: ”Welcome home, Master.”

”Mm, I’m home.”

Shinji entered the role. He didn’t mention ”Battle-Brothers” or anything of the sort. This was Earth’s role-playing—why bother applying 40K values to it?

’That’s right, I’m on Earth now. I should use Earth’s values to judge. This shouldn’t count as disloyalty, right? If I return to the Dark Galaxy, I can just pick up the 40K values and complete my Instrumentality again. In terms of duration, obviously, this deep-seated value system is easier to complete.’

He suddenly had an epiphany and began to search for clues along this train of thought to develop a new ”Instrumentality” plan.

’Wrong, wrong, wrong!’

Asuka was different. The smile on her face suddenly stiffened. Her head whipped back and forth, seeing the shy Rei and the calm Shinji, and she suddenly wanted to slap herself.

’What the heck am I happy about? What on earth was I thinking, actively jumping out to give Rei an assist? Shouldn’t I be worried about her sneaking ahead of me?

Yeah, I should be gloating over Rei’s failure, mocking her hard, right? Why on earth did I help her out and let that idiot Shinji praise her???’

Asuka finally came back to her senses.

’Why the heck did I play the hero when I was full?’ Her whole face turned beet red.

She suddenly stepped forward, stood between the two, and shouted at the startled Shinji: ”Have you seen enough?”

”Mm, haven’t appreciated it enough yet.”

”No more appreciating! I’m hungry, go cook me dinner right now!”

”Oh.”

Shinji nodded blankly. This time, Asuka made sense—he’d treat it as a reward for her.

It wasn’t until Shinji walked away that Asuka turned back and saw the gentle smile on Rei’s face.

”Don’t you laugh!”

Like a face-changing mask, in an instant, Rei, who had been smiling, turned expressionless and looked at Asuka with her red eyes. She hesitated for a long time before speaking.

”We’re even now. I won’t use those things to threaten you in the future.”

’Anyway, Ikari-kun knows everything; it doesn’t matter if I say it or not.’

Asuka first breathed a sigh of relief, then glared: ”Even? When did you help me? Shouldn’t you be saying ’thank you’?”

”Thank you.”

Rei was still quite direct.

”That’s more like it. Then next time it’s your turn to help me.”

”That won’t do. I can’t do something so stupid.”

’Stupid...’

Asuka, who was always calling others ”idiot,” was thrown into a disarray. What she had done was indeed surprisingly stupid, but she had just done it on a sudden impulse!

’Damn it, damn it, damn it! How on earth can I get revenge?’

As she was thinking, a hand rested on her shoulder, and no matter how many times she shook it, it wouldn’t fall off.

”What?”

”The core of the problem has been found. I have a proposal.”

Rei weighed her words and said slowly: ”How about we call a truce and complete Instrumentality for Ikari-kun first? That way, you won’t have to worry about him always playing by his own rules.”

Her words truly hit home for Asuka. Why did the Class Rep suffer a crushing defeat? Why were her own legs shaking from fatigue? Wasn’t it all because the Astartes didn’t play by the rules?

’In this world, who would see a cute maid outfit and think of ”blasphemy” or look pained? If you told anyone, they wouldn’t believe it.

It makes sense. If he completes his Instrumentality, he surely wouldn’t propose something non-human like an honorable duel. That idiot’s reaction just now proved he still has normal human desires. It’s just that his heart is too abnormal, and that steel heart comes from the tempering of the past. Without it, he’d be a brat; with it, he’s not like an Earthling. It really is a double-edged sword.

What a hassle!’

Asuka rubbed her hair. Seeing Rei’s eyes slightly narrowed, her IQ suddenly occupied the high ground, and she became vigilant.

”You definitely have a conspiracy. You want to trick me into helping you, and then step over my head to get ahead.”

”You’ve misunderstood. I don’t have such complicated thoughts. After all, I just became a human.”

Rei blinked. She really did look like an emotionless robot; that ”three-no” attribute was deep in her marrow.

”Pfft, I don’t believe you. Then tell me, what have you been up to behind closed doors lately?”

”Uh, this...”

”Can’t say, can you? Playing mind games with me, you’re still green. Honestly, I should be thanking you—you finally helped me figure out why that idiot Shinji is so weird.”

Asuka skipped a few steps away, turned back, and made a face.

”Hmph, you have the Class Rep and the others giving you ideas, and I have Misato-san helping me. We’ll see who wins and who suffers a crushing defeat.”

”You want to face off against me?”

”Heh, didn’t you say you just became a human? If I can’t even beat you, where would I put my pride? Oh, right, remember your promise—no more using my weaknesses to stir up trouble.”

Asuka left happily. She had finally won today, a huge victory at that! She’d have to have two extra bowls of rice cooked by that idiot Shinji later, never noticing the pitying gaze from behind.

’Help me defuse the situation, then get Katsuragi Misato to help... oh, Asuka, Asuka.

You really are unmatched in wisdom.’