The Trash Returned from Warhammer

Within the hangar, under the steady gaze of Unit-02’s two pairs of electronic eyes, the boy and girl stood facing each other.

This should have been a scene to make one’s heart race, a picture-perfect moment of romance and youth. Yet, the atmosphere was bizarre. Asuka stared at Shinji, blinking incessantly, her mind racing faster than it ever had when facing an Angel.

’Ugh, let me process this.

Fact A: I want to confess. I specifically picked a time, prepared myself mentally, and was full of courage, no longer as afraid of failure as before.

Fact B: Idiot Shinji seems to be forcing me to confess, encouraging me to face my inner thoughts.

Fact C: My inner thought is simply to become his girlfriend and do more happy things together.

But... I don’t dare confess, otherwise I’ll have to engage in a Duel of Honor with either Shinji or Rei. No, wait, there is definitely something wrong with this world.’

Asuka’s eyes evolved into ”Rinnegan” from the sheer mental strain. Her biological CPU was overloaded; she was, colloquially speaking, lagging out.

”Don’t think too much. Do not retreat. Follow your instincts and choose your opponent.”

Shinji was still encouraging her, loosening his wrists, clearly having already prepared himself for combat.

’My instinct is that I’m afraid of being knifed by Rei or beaten to death by you!’

Asuka clutched her chest, a mouthful of blood nearly rising to her throat. If she had known it would be like this, she would have preferred not to be ”supplemented.” Who could be as miserable as her—to have a confession turn into a life-or-death crisis?

”This! Is! Exactly what I was thinking!”

”Really?”

”Of course it’s real!” Asuka roared, convinced that the world had truly gone mad.

”Alright. It seems Rei and I both misunderstood.”

Shinji studied the girl seriously, nodding with a sense of understanding.

”It can’t be helped. You have completed your Instrumentality; Rei and I have not.”

”I beg the two of you to hurry up and finish your Instrumentality, otherwise I’m going to go crazy sooner or later.”

Asuka prayed from the bottom of her heart, even more anxious for them than Rei was. She would rather deal with the subtle schemes and drama of a TV show than deal with a ”Duel of Honor.”

”That requires a catalyst. We’ll take it slow,” Shinji nodded solemnly, treating it like a side quest.

”By the way, what did you say you were looking for me for earlier?”

’To confess before that girl and turn her into the ’loser heroine,’ obviously!’

Asuka got angry just thinking about it. She wished she could go back and burn every single one of those stupid romance magazines.

What was with the love triangles? The gentle, useless protagonists playing dumb? The girls arguing over ”who came first”?

All that stomach-churning angst... she used to despise those kids for overthinking, but now she realized how hard a confession actually was.

’I was brave enough, wasn’t I? Yet I was rendered speechless by these two idiots in just a few sentences. They actually had the audacity to tell me to ’face my inner thoughts.’’

They say steel can be softened into silk, but how do you soften ceramite?

”I... I... I just didn’t know how to thank you!”

Asuka shouted, which was indeed her inner thought. It was no exaggeration to say this was a second life given to her. Naturally, the conclusion was simple:

’Consider yourself lucky. I... I’ll spend my whole life making it up to you.’

These words were true.

Shinji raised an eyebrow, and his gaze softened. Thinking about it, given Asuka’s personality—hating to owe favors—it was normal for her to be troubled for a few days.

”It’s what I should have done. Supplementing you is beneficial to me.” He reached out and placed his palm on the girl’s head, stroking her smooth orange hair.

”Because of that ’Battle Brother’ thing?” Asuka wriggled her head in resistance, clearly annoyed.

”More than that. Your completion means my completion, and it means Rei’s completion.”

Shinji’s voice was gentle. Seeing that Asuka had stopped struggling, he said softly, ”I like our current life—peaceful and comfortable. You don’t need to do anything specific; just remain yourself. That is the greatest help you can give me.”

Asuka didn’t speak. She half-closed her eyes, enjoying Shinji’s touch. Her restless heart quieted down, and her slightly swaying twin-tails looked like a puppy’s tail.

”Really? That’s enough?”

”Yes. In the current situation, that is enough. It is the wisest choice.”

Every muscle relaxed. Asuka glanced at Unit-02’s green electronic eyes and secretly pursed her lips.

’Mama, you can’t blame me for this. But I won’t give up. I’ll gather new courage soon. Anyway, I’m not afraid of Rei Ayanami.’

She truly wasn’t as fragile as before. New courage gathered quickly. Just as Shinji withdrew his hand, Asuka took a step forward and rested her chin on the boy’s shoulder, her hanging bangs concealing her beet-red face.

”Don’t go. Pet me a little longer.”

-

-

-

”Shinji is amazing. He can even handle this?”

In the control room at the top of the hangar—where Gendo Ikari used to look down on Shinji—the occupants were now Ritsuko Akagi and Misato Katsuragi. They hadn’t intended to eavesdrop; they were just there to oversee Unit-02’s repairs when they stumbled upon this.

Misato watched, dumbfounded. She couldn’t tell if his skill level was legendary or zero. Initially, she had been ready to run down and play peacemaker, but Ritsuko had held her back to watch the drama unfold.

She had to admit, this play was indeed full of surprises.

”Did you think they were going to have a fallout?”

Ritsuko glanced at her, sighing in admiration.

”Shinji-kun always makes me, a Doctor of Psychology, feel ashamed of my own inadequacy. A team crisis solved so effortlessly.”

’Are you sure it’s psychology? Isn’t it just worldview contamination by a non-Earthling?’

Misato wanted to criticize, but didn’t know where to start because there were too many points to pick on.

Asuka had clearly agonized for two days, decided to face her feelings, and struck while the iron was hot. Theoretically, a Rei Ayanami with no path of retreat would have met her head-on, filling the air with sparks and making life miserable for Shinji in the middle.

But that guy wasn’t miserable at all. He diffused the crisis easily by applying the 40K Astartes method of resolving internal disputes to this ”shura field” (love triangle). But on second

thought, it was normal. His years of service were ten times his time in his hometown; could you really expect a ceramite-hard Astartes to act like a dense harem protagonist?

Playing dumb? Being as thick as a brick? Wrong. A true warrior faces the problem head-on and shows respect by putting in full effort.

”Why is it always Asuka being victimized? She’s too unlucky; she’s becoming more and more of a comic relief character.”

”Because among the three of them, she’s the only normal person. Isn’t it natural for her to lose out?”

Ritsuko crossed her legs and lit a cigarette.

”Actually, Asuka didn’t need to make it so complicated. Shinji-kun knows her thoughts. A confession might be sacred at their age, but to an adult, it’s nothing—and she lacks the courage to quickly execute the follow-up steps.”

”Follow-up steps?”

”Yes. The method I told you about.”

Misato’s face turned red, and she spat out a ”Shameless!”

But Ritsuko was right; the fact that Asuka dared to confess was already a surprise—she didn’t have the courage to go further.

”Phew. This is fine too. If the relationship between those three got too complicated, it would be awkward for me. The current atmosphere is quite nice.”

”Shouldn’t it be Asuka and Rei going to war, and you taking advantage of the deadlock?”

”Bah! I’m not like you. I won’t ’board the train before buying the ticket’.”

”As long as you still carry that sense of guilt, you have no chance of winning. Are you that afraid of Rei and the others finding out?”

”Oh, I just don’t want to make things hard for Shinji. That would be awkward for everyone.”

”I think Shinji-kun doesn’t find it hard at all. Don’t judge him by the standards of Earth’s losers,” Ritsuko said disdainfully. Watching Asuka looking as cozy as a puppy, she squinted her eyes. ”People talk about ’shura fields,’ but Shinji-kun is the true Shura. Everything is under control.”

’Fine, just keep finding new ways to praise him every day.’

Misato rolled her eyes. To put it bluntly, the biggest difference between her and Ritsuko was that she cared about her dignity; she wasn’t unscrupulous.

’For the sake of you two, I’m sticking with this wicked woman day and night.’

As she thought about it, she suddenly felt like a ”Guardian of the Night.” She felt the pure beauty emanating from the hugging teenagers, but after a few seconds, her pupils trembled.

’Wait a minute. I’m a player in this game too. Shouldn’t I be jealous?’

She suddenly remembered her own position. Shinji wasn’t petting her, so what was so beautiful about it? But... did she really have to do what this wicked woman Ritsuko suggested?

Misato hesitated. The image of Rei’s lightless red eyes flashed through her mind, making her shudder.

”No. As soon as we get back, I have to make Shinji seal those weird things away.”

”Are you suddenly realizing that the old Rei was better?”

Ritsuko crushed out her cigarette. Asuka was never the problem; Rei was. Because the latter wasn’t human to begin with. Asuka had Unit-02, but for Rei, Shinji-kun was everything.

If you dared to make her the ”loser,” she would dare to ”blacken.”

”I’m not as mercenary as you think. I’m leaving.”

”We haven’t done the experiment yet. Where are you going?”

”I’m starting my training today,” Misato waved her hand, as if she had thought of a great plan.

”That ’Duel of Honor’ is very interesting. If I were Asuka, I would have accepted!”

Read ahead (100 chapters) by supporting me on buymeacoffee com/varietl or ko-fi edwriting