The Trash Returned from Warhammer

Like Shinji’s ”Infinite Train,” Asuka was experiencing a form of mental contamination.

This contamination was something mortals could neither understand nor identify—it carried a hint of a montage—but it must be said that as creatures whose essence originated from the Negative Universe, the Angels were masters of psychological trauma. They were skilled at digging up the deepest, most hidden scars in a human’s soul, causing the AT Field to collapse in tandem with the spirit.

Before the door had even fully opened, Asuka was already on the verge of breaking. She knew all too well what lay behind it: her mother hanging from a rope, swaying gently. That beautiful, elegant face, now grotesquely distorted—the bulging eyes, the protruding veins—it had taught her how horrifying the dead could be.

What was even more terrifying was that her mother hadn’t looked at her once in her final moments. If not for years of psychological self-conditioning, she might have shattered right then and there.

From that moment on, she became ”stronger,” driven solely by the need for public validation, because the maternal love she craved had been extinguished forever. It wasn’t until she met Shinji and the others that these psychological wounds finally began to heal.

’But why... why do you have to pry open my heart!’

Time slowed in Asuka’s eyes. She stared unblinkingly at the slowly opening door, the scene ahead already playing out in her mind. It was too clear—so clear that every hideous vein on her mother’s face hovered in her memory, refusing to fade. But—

’Huh? What is this?’

The door finally swung open, but inside was not a cramped, gloomy room, nor a mother hanging in suicide.

It was a beautiful garden. The sky was like washed azure, and colorful flowers swayed gently with the grass. In the center of the garden stood a white round table, and two beautiful women were sitting there, drinking tea.

The woman on the left had long, pale red hair and a gentle, serene appearance, possessing a warmth and intelligence similar to Dr. Akagi. It was none other than her mother, Kyoko Zeppelin Soryu. The young woman on the right had short brown hair and an equally gentle expression; she looked just like—

”Rei Ayanami!?”

Asuka’s azure eyes widened in shock.

’This isn’t how doors are supposed to work!’

Shouldn’t there be a hellish scene inside? Why was her mother, who was supposed to be hanging there, grimacing in death, now having tea here? And what was Rei Ayanami doing in the mix?

The mental world was truly fantastical. Asuka couldn’t comprehend the scene before her, but having returned from the ”end of time” earlier, she quickly gathered her wits.

”Angel, what exactly are you trying to do? If you want to make me collapse, you don’t need to go through all this trouble to create this scene!”

Exactly. Just make her relive the nightmare and her mind would snap. Why bother with the theatrics? And what was the point of throwing a Rei Ayanami into the mix?

’Wait, the hair color is wrong... and she looks much more mature, doesn’t she?’

The presence of the woman made things even more surreal. If not for that, Asuka would have turned and fled long ago.

”Asuka, you’re just as impatient as you were when you were little.”

The red-haired woman looked over the moment the door opened, her eyes filled with the focus and warmth Asuka had dreamed of. Seeing the girl’s guarded expression, she nodded in approval.

”Mm. It seems you’ve become strong. Yes, you should always be full of vigilance.”

”Bardiel, what are you playing at? Trying to control me with an illusion? Let me tell you, it’s impossible for you to make me help you deal with that idiot Shinji! Once I break free from this mental contamination, I’ll self-destruct immediately!”

”You wouldn’t be able to bear dying.”

The woman smiled and cast a glance at the lady beside her. ”Ms. Ikari, I told you this child has good resolve, even if she is a bit stubborn. Please continue to look after her and guide her in the future.”

Asuka blinked.

’This mental contamination is high-end, isn’t it?’

It even perfectly replicated her mother’s tone and expressions—things she had almost forgotten.

’No, this has to be a conspiracy.’

She remained vigilant against the warmth quietly rising in her heart, then suddenly caught a keyword.

”Ikari? Who are you??”

”Nice to meet you—no, nice to meet you for the second time. My name is Yui Ikari, Shinji’s mother.”

The woman nodded gently, her face full of tenderness.

’Huh?’

Asuka was completely baffled.

’Wait, that idiot’s mother?’

She instinctively wanted to return the greeting, but then her eyes locked onto the woman, staring daggers.

’This mental contamination is trying to seduce me by deliberately creating that idiot’s mother? That’s not right... I’ve never seen his mother before. Yes, the Angel must be playing tricks. Since it couldn’t find a blueprint, it just modeled her after Rei Ayanami.’

”Are you thinking about Rei Ayanami? That child has some connection to me, but we are essentially different people.”

Yui could tell exactly what Asuka was thinking. She looked at the red-haired woman beside her and laughed behind her hand.

”It’s just as you said, this child is like a hedgehog. Her vigilance is truly impressive; she must be imagining some conspiracy Bardiel is planning.”

”Don’t try to fool me! I’ve told you, I will never fall for your tricks. Give it up!”

”Fine. Then tell me, do you like Shinji?”

Yui’s gaze was deadly serious.

I... Asuka’s face turned bright red instantly. She screamed, ”Why would I talk to an Angel like you about this!”

”See? Still stubborn.”

”Ah, she’s a bit like me when I was young.”

”But she’s quite cute like this. It’s just a shame she didn’t take the chance when I gave it to her.”

”I’ll have to trouble you to look after her in the future.”

Seeing the two women chatting away and pointing at her, Asuka’s face was scorching.

’Is this mental contamination meant to humiliate me?’

Yet, for some reason, she couldn’t summon the heart to resist.

’Ahem.’

Just as Asuka was about to suffer a personality collapse on a different level, a cough came from behind her. She turned around—her face cycling from red to white, white to red, and finally back to white.

’Great, they even dragged that idiot out. Are they that desperate to break me?’

Standing behind her was Shinji. The boy’s expression was as calm as ever, but his gaze toward Asuka softened ever so slightly.

By using Bardiel to peer deep into Asuka’s mental world, he had witnessed the girl’s past firsthand. It was no exaggeration to say that most adults would have been consumed by darkness under such trauma; a child could never have withstood it.

While Asuka had been twisted, she had turned that pain into motivation—that surpassed the vast majority of humanity.

”You’ve worked hard.”

’Huh?’

Asuka’s expression changed. This mental contamination was truly formidable—it was so lifelike, she couldn’t see a single flaw.

Seeing her filled with guard, Shinji didn’t say much. Mental illusions were strange like that; they had a way of making you feel like you were looking at a mountain while unable to see its true face. Everything could be real, or it could be false, and the person involved had no way to distinguish between them.

”I am Shinji Ikari.”

”Don’t lie to me.”

”Don’t be in such a hurry to resist. In a mental illusion, everything might be empty, but logic cannot be violated. Bardiel has no need to go through all this trouble for nothing.”

”Why not? Just to humiliate me, obviously.”

”And what benefit do you think that brings?”

Asuka paused for a moment and frowned.

”To open my AT Field and go to war with that idiot.”

”Well, that’s a good sense of vigilance—just perhaps a bit too strong.” Shinji looked at her with approval and said earnestly, ”Calm down. Use your heart to feel everything, and you will be able to peel away the illusory fog.”

”No. Why should I listen to you?”

’Truly troublesome.’

Shinji felt a bit frustrated. Asuka was too stubborn. A normal person would have believed it by now, but this girl was closed off to everything.

He frowned slightly, opened his hand, and revealed a self-destruct trigger in his palm.

”Then choose. Pull this, and you’ll be free.”

”I don’t want to die! I still have so many things to do. You just wait—when that idiot bursts in here and tears you to pieces, you’ll see!”

Asuka lifted her chin, suddenly finding her resolve. She didn’t see her mother covering her face in shame—it was too much to watch.

’Soft and hard won’t work on her. Fine, if she won’t listen, she won’t listen.’

Shinji turned his gaze toward the red-haired woman and slowly stepped back, yielding the stage.

”Asuka, it’s all true. It’s because Shinji-kun helped that I was able to talk to you.” The woman stood up and said tenderly, ignoring Asuka’s guarded expression. A mother’s patience for her child is always bottomless.

”Don’t try to trick me.”

”I’m not tricking you. I just want to tell you some truths. Because of the experiments on Unit-02, a part of my personality was trapped inside.”

”Personality?”

”Yes—a mother’s personality. That’s why I couldn’t transmit love to you, but I have been watching over you all this time.”

The woman’s face was filled with sorrow, and two lines of tears fell. Seeing those crystalline droplets, Asuka froze.

A surge of complex, indescribable emotions flooded her heart—relaxation, agitation, excitement, and vigilance. She couldn’t tell if this was an Angel’s conspiracy, but the woman’s story was nothing short of unbelievable.

’Wait a minute—personality trapped inside Unit-02?’

She suddenly looked at Yui Ikari, who was sipping tea, and felt a sudden sense of familiarity. Wasn’t this exactly the feeling of the ”machine soul” from the Unit-01 exchange experiment before the battle?

”That’s why I said this is our second meeting, Asuka.”

Yui smiled at Shinji, her face full of pride. Her son had laid the groundwork beforehand; otherwise, Asuka would never have believed a word.

’This...’

Asuka was confused. After all, Bardiel hadn’t even appeared when that experiment happened.

”What’s going on?”

”Your mother is similar to me—our souls merged into the EVA. The only difference is that she is a partial personality,” Yui explained.

”Then how do I know if this isn’t just a sensation simulated by the Angel?”

Yui looked helplessly at the red-haired woman, thinking,

’Your daughter—you handle her.’

”Does it matter if it’s simulated or not? Asuka, isn’t this the scene you’ve been longing to see?”

The woman approached, weeping. Asuka took two steps back, but eventually stopped, feeling the woman’s hands cup her face.

’So warm, so familiar... this is the scent of Mama.’

She stood rooted to the spot, feeling that familiar warmth, forgetting even to struggle.

”I have always been silently watching over you. I just didn’t have Ms. Ikari’s ability—I couldn’t protect you.”

The woman’s tears wouldn’t stop, brimming with heartache and helplessness. It was true; unlike Yui, she couldn’t make Unit-02 go berserk to protect her daughter.

”Watching me? Then why did you kill yourself? Do you know how much pain that caused me!?” Asuka suddenly stepped back and screamed hysterically.

Even if this were real, she was still full of resentment.

’You abandoned me, and now you jump out to say you were watching over me?’

She had reached a point of ”in for a penny, in for a pound.” She didn’t know if it was true or false, so she decided to let out all the words she’d kept buried for years.

”I know, but I couldn’t resist. After the experiment, I was just a shell in the real world—a puppet that had lost its soul.”

Perhaps the mother’s tears touched her heart; Asuka swallowed the crueler words and said coldly, ”But you shouldn’t have died. Even if you were just a puppet, you were my spiritual sustenance. But when you died, my heart became empty.”

This was the greatest contradiction. Think about it: a girl running in high spirits to share good news, pushing open the door, only to see her mother’s corpse—the psychological trauma was immense.

”In fact, Ms. Soryu’s death was not her choice.”

Shinji suddenly interjected. He waved his hand gently, and the beautiful garden shifted again.

The world shook, as if from the perspective of someone wearing a noose. Before her eyes were several researchers in white lab coats.

”The Second Child will arrive soon. Is everything ready?”

”Almost. The test subject has proven there is no hope of recovery. Let her make one last contribution to humanity.”

”Attention all departments: The Artificial AT Field Project is about to commence. If the Second Child suffers an emotional breakdown, the Trauma Department is to intervene immediately to guide her.”

”Prepare the simulation machine in the lab. We’ll test for changes in sync rate in three hours.”

Asuka stared at everything, her pupils trembling violently. Everything was perfectly logical.

”This... what is this?”

”A very common kind of business. The strong usually need to sacrifice the weaker ones to gain power.”

Shinji said it quietly. He had experienced similar trauma; wasn’t Gendo Ikari’s abandonment of him just a man-made ”AT Field”? Yet he felt no emotional fluctuation. In his 130 years of advanced training, he had seen similar things too many times.

”You’re lying! How could it be like this!” Asuka was frantic; this meant the subversion and reconstruction of her entire worldview.

”What meaning is there in true or false?” Shinji abandoned logic and asked a question with rare emotional resonance: ”Tell me, doesn’t this explanation fit your deepest desires better?”

Yes—the most wonderful outcome: Mother had always loved her deeply. She hadn’t been ”lost”—she had just lost her personality due to the experiment. She hadn’t caused Asuka that psychological trauma by choice; she had been used by others.

Asuka held her breath, suddenly realizing that this ”truth” was unimaginably beautiful. Mother hadn’t been wrong; she had always loved her. It was the world’s fault; the Angel’s fault.

If there were no Angels, there would be no Unit-02 experiments; Mother wouldn’t have died, and she would have lived a warm, normal life like any other girl.

In an instant, she felt as if all her strength had been drained, and she knelt on the grass. Asuka resigned herself to fate. She no longer tried to distinguish truth from lie. If everything was the Angel’s conspiracy, it only proved that it was too powerful. A false happiness, like a deadly poison, eroded her resistance until she had none left.

She had worked so hard, giving up all the joys of childhood, just to win back her mother’s love. This illusion had already told her: her mother had always loved her, but due to objective reasons, she couldn’t convey that love.

’So be it. I’ll accept even this hallucination before death.’

She fell forward weakly, then suddenly felt a pair of gentle hands cup her face and pull her into an even warmer embrace.

”Asuka, you’ve worked so hard.”

That sentence caused every pore in her body to relax. It was ten times more effective than anything Shinji had said, because Asuka had waited for those words for a full decade.

She had wanted to be the center of the spotlight, but in the beginning, the girl only wanted her mother to cast one gentle look her way.

Tears fell onto her trembling hands. Asuka drowned in this happiness, regardless of its truth. She opened her heart and felt it becoming more and more real. Gradually, the beautiful garden vanished, and amidst the pitch-black darkness, she could only feel the warm embrace.

”Mama, did I do well?”

”Very well. You are stronger than I ever was.”

”Are you proud of me?”

”No matter what you become, I will always be proud of you.”

”Mama, I’m suddenly a bit tired. There were so many things I wanted to say... so many things I wanted to tell you.”

”Then say them while you sleep.”

A familiar, soft lullaby drifted into her ears. Asuka buried herself completely into the embrace, recounting her achievements over the years with a joyful tone—talking about her battles with Rei Ayanami, her friends, her band, and finally, of course, a certain ”idiot” who always made her feel impotently enraged.

Kyoko Soryu listened quietly, saying nothing, only patting her daughter’s back continuously until the voice turned into soft snores. On her face was only a gentle, loving smile.

”She’s asleep?” Yui Ikari stood nearby, her expression one of deep empathy—it was just a pity Shinji hadn’t given her the chance to vent her own maternal love.

”Yes. Asuka has suffered so much these past years. But the story has a happy ending; she finally knows that I have always been watching her, and always loving her.” Kyoko Soryu held her daughter tightly and cast her gaze toward the boy nearby.

”Shinji-kun, thank you. If you hadn’t taken my place, Asuka would have become even more extreme.”

She understood her daughter. One could say that the moment Asuka saw her hanging, she was already twisted. She became stronger than anyone else, but also more fragile than

anyone else, because there was no one left in the world for her to entrust her soul to—only the pride that kept pushing her forward.

If even that pride were wounded, Asuka would easily collapse. But through her daughter’s stories, Kyoko Soryu knew she had done quite well after arriving in Japan.

”It is my duty, Ms. Soryu. I will not let any Battle-Brother collapse.”

’Battle-Brother?’

Kyoko Soryu looked at Yui Ikari; both old mothers wore expressions of helpless resignation. This Shinji-kun was perfect in every way—except that he was just a bit too ”hard.”

She had much to say and much to ask, but in the end, she swallowed it all.

”Remember what you said, Shinji-kun.”

”Honesty is the commandment of the Astartes.”

”Mm. I believe you will not let Asuka get hurt.”

Kyoko Soryu suddenly blinked and said playfully, ”But now that her heart’s knot is untied, you’ll have your hands full later. That girl named Rei Ayanami is also quite nice—don’t let her get hurt, either.”

On some level, Asuka had completed her Human Instrumentality. It was enough to make a crowd stand and applaud, crying ”Congratulations!”

Shinji paused for a moment, then nodded heavily. ”I understand. But the mission will always come first.”

’Never running away... what a steely man. Asuka has better taste in men than I did.’

”As long as you understand. I think that Emperor of yours will benefit from this as well.”

Kyoko Soryu uttered another nonsensical phrase, raised a hand, and wiped the tear streaks from the corner of Asuka’s eyes.

”From now on, I can embrace you every day—it’s just a pity I can’t communicate with you like Ms. Ikari can.”

”It’s fine. As a mother, being able to hold my child is satisfaction enough. If that doesn’t work, Shinji and I will help you again,” Yui said with a smile.

”Thank you. Fate is truly wonderful... to have a chance to meet again like this.”

Kyoko Soryu finally loosened her grip, reluctant to let go of her daughter’s sleeping face.

”Then let’s go back. Let this Bardiel see the strength of mother and daughter!”

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