The Trash Returned from Warhammer

”Perhaps we were born for your sake.”

Following those gentle words, Kaworu Nagisa stepped out from the woods, the flickering firelight illuminating his handsome and mild face.

Having been a ”stalker” for several days, Kaworu had observed Shinji closely. Just as the latter had said, many things don’t require being together all day, and certainly don’t require words to manipulate. At certain times, the perspective of an onlooker is superior.

He nodded apologetically toward Rei Ayanami. He had no choice; the appointed time was fast approaching. This appointment, of course, did not refer to SEELE, but to the fact that he could feel the Thirteenth Angel was about to appear. His observation had reached its end, and it was time for the next stage: a face-to-face talk with Shinji.

Therefore, he needed a catalyst to appear before Shinji, and Rei Ayanami was that catalyst. In essence, there was no difference between them—one was the vessel for Adam’s soul, and the other for Lilith’s.

’Is the time almost here?’

Shinji tightened his muscles slightly but did not rush in to start a battle as he had last time. Kaworu had already demonstrated his low threat level through his actions, and Shinji also needed to guide the other’s will.

”How has your observation been lately?”

”I have gained much. I have confirmed that you are a special Li—no, human. So steadfast, so perfect, full of mercy and honor, incomparably strong, and capable of leading other humans. I think if a god truly existed, His apostles should be just like you.”

The voice was not fanatical; it possessed a unique magnetic quality, as if stating a fundamental truth. Even Rei Ayanami, who had been full of killing intent, was stunned. She hadn’t imagined there was anyone in the world capable of praising Shinji more than Ritsuko Akagi.

Yet, thinking about it, Kaworu wasn’t boasting without foundation. Ikari-kun was certainly far more perfect than those Angels. The latter were nothing more than a group of brainless monsters who brought calamity and knew only destruction.

In terms of power, Ikari-kun was stronger than them, and he possessed the unique aura of a leader. Naturally, he was a more perfect existence.

If an ordinary person were showered with such praise by a beautiful youth, their heart would be racing. But Shinji remained calm for a simple reason:

An Astartes was an angel created by the Emperor’s own hand; they were supposed to be perfect beings.

”It seems you didn’t waste your time. You observed very carefully.”

Shinji nodded quietly. If Asuka saw this, her worldview would likely shatter, and she would feel that either she or Shinji—or both—must be abnormal.

”A necessary path. Only by understanding you could I know how to approach you. I’ve discovered that coming to Tokyo-III this time was an arrangement of destiny.”

Kaworu placed his right hand over his chest and gave an elegant, slight bow.

”But that doesn’t change the essence of you being an Angel, nor does it change our relationship as enemies.”

Shinji remained stubborn.

”But what about her?”

Kaworu reached out a bit defiantly, pointing at the bewildered Rei Ayanami.

”She is my Battle Brother.”

”But she is an existence identical to me. Shinji-kun, please enlighten me.”

”Simple. Ayanami fights by my side, sharing life and death.”

Shinji patted Rei’s slender shoulder, his gaze burning. ”But you cannot do that. That is the fundamental difference.”

Kaworu opened his mouth to speak, then quietly closed it due to the sorrow of destiny.

If there were personal feelings involved here, it would affect Shinji’s perfection, but the other’s reasoning was impeccable.

Yes, an Angel is a product of the Fruit of Power, a child of Adam. He could not fight alongside Shinji against his own kind. Because of this point, he could never become Shinji’s friend.

”Destiny has forcibly split us into two camps, but I truly do not wish to be your enemy, Shinji-kun.”

”I can see that. That is why I allowed you to observe and did not eliminate you directly.”

Shinji had no intention of empathizing with him, saying coldly: ”You cannot resist destiny. Just as an Angel’s instinct is rooted deep within its soul, as long as you go underground, whether you are willing or not, you will head for Terminal Dogma.”

He cruelly exposed the truth, and a look of desolation appeared on Kaworu’s face.

”So I am merely a puppet of destiny, never worthy of obtaining freedom. At most, I can only die freely, but I haven’t found the value in doing so yet.”

”Your freedom lies in dying a worthy death?”

”Yes. I suppose it’s the only place where I can resist. Can Shinji-kun tell me what counts as a worthy death?”

”No.”

The blunt and concise answer stunned Kaworu. He had originally thought that given Shinji’s goals, he would definitely find a way to make him die at the smallest cost—it was a probing thought. He didn’t expect the other to refuse so firmly.

”Do not be too arrogant, and do not be too humble. My goal does not require anyone to sacrifice themselves. This proves you still haven’t observed carefully enough.”

Shinji stood up, his back ramrod straight.

”What you see is merely my will. Where is your will? What is your mission? What does the survival of humanity have to do with you?”

’My will is that I want to be friends with you freely.’

Kaworu was somewhat confused and pressed further: ”My mission is to trigger the Third Impact and eradicate humanity. Is that what you wish to see?”

”It doesn’t matter. You have your mission, and I have mine. Having observed for so long, have you not seen that all my actions are taken to complete my mission at any cost? My will is unshakeable!”

This hit the mark. No matter how much he changed, the loyalty in his bones remained eternal. He could enjoy peaceful daily life and make more friends, but he would never forget his mission.

Rei Ayanami immediately looked back and forth nervously. Didn’t this sound like he was forcing both sides to start a war?

”But I still don’t want to be your enemy. A mission is an instinct, not the meaning of my existence. I am exploring my own meaning.”

Kaworu shook his head in confusion. It was the complete opposite of the original timeline; Shinji was not the object of his salvation, but his life mentor.

At first listen, it sounded a bit ”artsy,” but for an existence capable of manifesting an Angel-level AT Field individually, the questions of why one was born and why one lived were very important. Once basic survival is guaranteed, biological beings always greedily seek many things.

Shinji did not despise this ”bored and searching” behavior, nodding slowly: ”This proves your will is in conflict with your mission. This is precisely the biggest difference between you and Ayanami.”

”Yes. She was born without shackles and can freely choose her future.”

Kaworu looked at Rei Ayanami with some envy. The shackles imposed by Gendo Ikari were nothing; they were easily severed by Shinji-kun. But he was different.

”I understand. Precisely because I was born with shackles, and because I have been in constant contact with humans for these past ten or so years, I have developed doubts about my mission. That is why I am confused about the meaning of my existence.”

Every effect has a cause. Whether in the original timeline or now, Kaworu sought answers because his contact with humans produced a thing called ”emotion.” The difference was whether he explored it alongside a youth in a story of ”pure love,” or let an Angel of the Emperor provide the answer.

”This is a good thing. The other Angels had wishes, but no opportunity.”

Shinji shook his head, thinking of Leliel, Bardiel, and the others. Though their methods differed, they had all tried to contact humanity in different ways.

This could be considered the inherent temptation of the Fruit of Wisdom.

Kaworu first nodded, then shook his head: ”But this also leaves me lost, like a program error.”

”Then go solve the error. I do not like indecisive people. The meaning of one’s existence can only be found by oneself, not granted by others.”

”Even if I choose instinct?”

”Yes. If you want to destroy humanity, then execute that with a will of iron.”

Shinji opened his right hand and clenched it into a fierce fist: ”I will wait for you, and then kill you.”

The tone was cold and full of killing intent, yet Kaworu heard an endless tenderness within it. Because Shinji was considering the problem from Kaworu’s own position, rather than quietly manipulating him because of his confusion.

”In that case, I want to be your enemy even less, Shinji-kun.”

Kaworu smiled gently, a hint of lingering attachment in his eyes. ”The only thing I can do is entrust the future into your hands and stay out of your way.”

”You want to choose death?”

”It is the only thing I can choose. I am essentially meant to die anyway. Don’t overthink it; this isn’t because I’m being driven by you, it’s because I can’t find any other way.”

Kaworu put his hands in his pockets and said mildly:

”One friendly warning: the world has changed slightly. As for what exactly, even I cannot say for sure.”

Shinji’s expression shifted slightly, though he wasn’t surprised. When he had proposed his hypothesis, he had expected the world would inevitably change.

Through the Twelfth Angel, he had gained something, and ”God” had also gained something. As the vessel for Adam’s soul, Kaworu’s intuition was clearly sharp. But so what?

He looked at Rei Ayanami beside him and thought for a moment. Since this Angel craved an answer, he would give him one.

”Is this not exactly your opportunity?”

”Hmm?”

”You want to break the shackles and obtain freedom. Chasing freedom is exactly the meaning of your existence.”

”Yes, but besides death, I have no freedom. Like a caged bird, and this cage might even be getting tighter.”

”Who told you that death represents freedom?”

Shinji saw Kaworu’s eyes widen and said indifferently: ”You just said that everything is the inevitability of destiny. Have you ever considered that this choice itself is not freedom?”

”True freedom is jumping out of the framework of inevitability. Like Ayanami—she was inevitably meant to be a sacrificial tool. Not just her; Asuka, Misato, and everyone else are products of inevitability. The end of the script was written long ago.”

This was the first time Shinji had used a preachy tone. Clearly, Kaworu’s reaction was the complete opposite of Asuka’s annoyance; he listened very carefully and was deeply shaken.

”Even choosing death is not freedom? It does not come from my own will? It’s just... a part of the script?”

”Of course. And that script wasn’t written by those wastes. Do you know why I have a certain magnetism to you, to Ayanami, and to everyone else?”

Shinji spoke with a touch of self-confidence, then provided the answer in a voice devoid of any emotional fluctuation:

”Because it is I who am tampering with this inevitability, confronting that damn destiny. Only by jumping out of this inevitable script can one possess true freedom!”

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