Divine Level Witch Doctor

When Zhao Yuan returned to the dorm, Liu Zhu and Wang Rongfeng were admiring themselves in the mirror. They had not only gotten stylish new haircuts but had also meticulously coordinated their outfits.

Seeing the state they were in, Zhao Yuan couldn’t help but laugh. ”Boss, why’d you even dig out a suit? Are you treating tonight’s mixer like a matchmaking session? Second Brother, you’ve used so much hair gel your head is practically reflective. Planning on dazzling the girls blind? And Fourth, don’t you always call yourself a love sage? What’s there to be nervous about? You’re clutching that phone so hard you’re shaking.”

Liu Zhu just chuckled, not the least bit bothered by Zhao Yuan’s teasing. ”You’re right, Third Brother. I really am treating tonight like a matchmaking session. I know Lin Xue is a lost cause for me, but the other girls in her dorm are all stunners. If I can land one of them as a girlfriend, my college years will have been worth it!”

Wang Rongfeng added, ”This is our first time meeting the girls from Lin Xue’s dorm, so naturally, we have to make our grand entrance looking our absolute best and leave a good impression. If I can get them to fall for me at first sight, that would be perfect.”

Zhao Yuan and Liu Zhu exchanged a look and said in unison, ”Fall for you at first sight? Second Bro, are you daydreaming?”

Wu Yan sighed, put down his phone, and shot Zhao Yuan a reproachful glance.

That look, that expression—it gave Zhao Yuan the creeps. A chill shot down his spine, and he quickly declared, ”Fourth, what’s with that look? Let me just say, for the record, I’m straight. One-hundred-percent straight. I’m not into dudes!”

Wu Yan’s face darkened instantly. ”I’m not gay either!” he ground out. Then, with another sigh, he said, ”Third Brother, oh, Third Brother. You’ve kept me in the dark for so long, and it hurts.”

”What did Third Brother hide from you? You look as miserable as a jilted wife,” Liu Zhu and Wang Rongfeng teased, their ears perked up, ready for the gossip.

Wu Yan heaved a long, dramatic sigh. In a desolate tone, as if he’d witnessed the full spectrum of life’s joys and sorrows, he said, ”I used to think I was the resident Casanova of dorm 301. It wasn’t until today that I realized how deluded I was. Third Brother... he’s the real love sage of dorm 301—no, of the entire Department of Integrated Traditional Chinese and Western Medicine!”

”Fourth, what are you talking about? How is Third Brother a love sage?” Liu Zhu asked, confused.

Wang Rongfeng was equally baffled. ”Is it because he’s got a thing going with Lin Xue? But your old girlfriends... while they might not have been on Lin Xue’s level, you had him beat on quantity by a mile.”

Wu Yan sighed again, unlocked his phone, and handed it to Liu Zhu and Wang Rongfeng. ”Boss, Second Bro, just see for yourselves.”

Zhao Yuan, curious, leaned in to get a look as well.

After seeing what was on the screen, the three of them had wildly different reactions.

Zhao Yuan stumbled back two steps in horror. Liu Zhu’s face was a mask of pure shock, while Wang Rongfeng simply blurted out, ”Holy shit, what the hell is this?”

”Now you see, don’t you?” Wu Yan sighed mournfully.

”Fourth... since when have you been into... this?” Liu Zhu asked, the shock on his face giving way to avid curiosity.

Wang Rongfeng chimed in, ”Yeah, Fourth, you sure kept this under wraps. I never would’ve guessed you had this... preference.”

”I thought we were brothers! Don’t you get any funny ideas!” Zhao Yuan yelped.

”Fu... funny ideas?” Now it was Wu Yan’s turn to be dumbfounded. It took him several seconds to process before he exploded in an indignant rage, ”What the hell are you guys talking about?!”

”Then why are you using a picture of Third Brother as your screen saver?” Liu Zhu demanded, holding Wu Yan’s phone up high. On the screen was a photo of a shirtless Zhao Yuan. The solid muscle, the perfect definition... it was a physique certain ’connoisseurs’ would die for...

Wu Yan shot it a glance and snapped, ”What screen saver? You guys tapped the image in the forum post and zoomed in. Just tap it again.”

Liu Zhu did as he was told and tapped the picture. As expected, the image shrank back into a post. A closer look revealed it was the West Hua Medical University campus forums.

”Er.” Liu Zhu glanced at Wang Rongfeng, then at Zhao Yuan, suddenly feeling incredibly awkward. He let out a couple of dry laughs. ”Haha, a misunderstanding. This is all just a misunderstanding...”

”You bastards, you nearly ruined my good name,” Wu Yan said through clenched teeth.

”Sorry, sorry, just a reflex.” Liu Zhu hastily moved the hand he’d clapped over his rear end and asked curiously, ”So, Fourth, what’s the deal? Why is there a picture of Third Brother on the campus forums? And a shirtless one, at that.”

”Just topless,” Zhao Yuan corrected hastily.

Wu Yan shook his head. ”I don’t know the exact details myself. A minute ago, I was just going to kill some time on the gossip section of the forums. But as soon as I opened the page, I saw it was flooded with posts titled ’Muscle God,’ ’Hottie God,’ and stuff like that. I clicked on them, and it turns out they were all about Third Brother. Every single post had shirtless pictures of him in all sorts of poses. The number of replies on every thread is insane, too. It’s basically all girls screaming that they want to have his babies or be his wife. Compared to him, my ’love sage’ title is a complete joke! Third Brother is the true love sage!”

As Wu Yan spoke, Liu Zhu and Wang Rongfeng pulled out their own phones to check the campus forums. And sure enough, the gossip section was completely overrun with posts about Zhao Yuan... or more accurately, it had been completely conquered by shirtless photos of Zhao Yuan.

Putting down his phone, Liu Zhu clicked his tongue in amazement. ”Damn, I can’t believe this. Third Bro, you became a love sage overnight!”

Wang Rongfeng shook his head smugly and corrected him, ”Boss, you’re not saying that right. Look at the posts, they were almost all made this morning. So Third Bro didn’t become a love sage overnight, he became a love sage *in a day*!”

’A love sage in a day?’

’Why does that sound so weird?’

Dark lines immediately appeared on Zhao Yuan’s forehead.

”Third Bro, care to explain just what the hell is going on?” Liu Zhu asked, brandishing his phone.

”I went out to work out this morning, accidentally ripped my shirt, and had to go around topless. I guess someone took pictures, and now we’re here.” Zhao Yuan spread his hands in a helpless gesture. ”It’s not like I wanted this to happen.”

”Oh, please! I can tell you’re totally eating this up. If it were me, getting all this attention from girls, I’d be ecstatic! And here you are, playing humble!”

”That’s a master-class humblebrag. I’ll give you a hundred points; don’t want you getting too proud!”

”I’ll give him a hundred and one. The extra point is a little love from your daddy.”

His three dorm brothers roasted him without mercy.

PS: It’s Monday! Old Wu is on his knees, begging for recommendation votes, library adds, and donations!