Diary of a Teenaged Mimic

Dear Diary,

Like I kinda mentioned or alluded to yesterday, I really have a hard time remembering how other people see me. Like, from an intellectual standpoint I kinda get it. A mass of tentacles ranging in size from a hundred meters wide to hair thin, with no discernable desire other than to get big and grow, is kinda scary sounding. The overall size of that mass is definitely well into ’existential threat’ ranges, what with them now covering most of the eastern seaboard. Not just the coast, either. I’m pretty sure I’ve covered out past the continental shelf, and I know I’m past the Appalachians and pushing toward the Mississippi. Maybe the Missouri? I always get those two mixed up. Rivers really do seem a little harder for my tentacles to propagate across than they should be, though.

Not impossible. Just harder.

I look in the mirror and I might not see who I grew up seeing, but I still see me. I stand atop that waving field of tentacle tips and... I don’t, not really. I mean, it is me. It’s as much me as my hand, or my leg, or my foot. From what I learned a long time ago about Avatars and shit, I’m her hand, or fingertip, or whatever. But when it comes to volition, to anything beyond ’eat, rest, react to pain’, she’s just not home. So I guess I’m like a fingertip that’s having to steer a whole fuckin’ body around and make it do shit. But that’s the thing, I get that when I’m pushed to the wall, I’ve been dangerous, I don’t feel dangerous. Not to myself. Not to my ladies or my kids or to my friends or to anybody out there who isn’t a complete raging asshole.

Yes, I count wanting to eat everyone in the Alliance ’complete raging asshole’ behavior. Okay, thinking she was entitled to it. I can’t entirely say Mimic doesn’t want that, but she’s at least lazy enough that she’ll wait for them to come to her, one Soul at a time in their own time.

Yeah, the more I talk about myself, the more I realize the reaction of the rulers of Compton might not be completely out of pocket.

So Karen dropped that truth bomb on the Omar and Ami, and you could have heard a pin drop for a few seconds. I kinda expected all hell to break loose, but instead everybody at the table except Karen and her two advisors turned to face the Mansa and the Yakky. The latter of whom had closed her eyes, lips moving silently. In prayer, I guess. meanwhile Omar drew himself up and said, ”so am I to understand that your invasion has already begun?”

Karen shook her head, calmly taking the final bite of her tortilla. After she finished chewing and took a drink of water, she said, ”your hospitality has been wonderful. While I wouldn’t say Mimic’s presence is temporary, it was no more intentional than someone tripping over a fence and ripping out of a too small dress.”

The Mansa blinked at that. ”Are you telling me that her invasion is accidental?”

Karen just smiled and shook her head. ”You keep using that word. Invasion. Are your people Fae?”

The Mansa shrugged. ”Not as such.”

”Do they live in the Spirit World?”

”A few.”

”Have any of them been harmed by my Goddess as of yet?”

”No...” He drew the word out, considering.

Karen shrugged. ”As I noted, her expansion southward wasn’t precisely intentional. For what it’s worth, she has every intention of protecting everyone in the Spirit World from hostile entities.”

Omar’s eyebrow shot up. ”Hostile entities like herself?”

”If need be. But I referred to Dragons, and Deities, and any beings against whom Mortals struggle in vain.” I whispered something in her ear, and she laughed. ”As many Deities who wished to use Atlanteans as playthings have discovered, there is always a bigger fish. She is that bigger fish.”

Omar opened his mouth, only to be interrupted by the Yakky. ”Karen Smith, Ambassador of the Alliance, Highest Priestess of Tabitha Diaz, High Priestess of Mimic, will you return to your ship?”

Karen stood smoothly, nodding, motioning to her advisors. ”If that is your wish, of course.”

Ami took a deep breath, closed her eyes, then opened them and asked, ”would you leave one of your advisors here, please?”

”I would ask assurance that they not be harmed.”

Ami got the kind of look somebody might have when they realize the cops have just found them standing over a body with an empty pistol. ”Of course! They will be an honored guest, Ambassador.”

”Does it matter which stays?”

”I assume one of them knows our customs?” Karen nodded. ”That one, please.”

Karen motioned to her advisors again. ”Gerald? Please assist the Yakky in whatever way she needs.”

At that point Omar opened his mouth, but Ami drove over him. ”Thank you, Ambassador. We need time to confer regarding your revelation.”

”Of course.”

Where the spiciest of spicy dishes hadn’t fazed her, Karen’s revelation had Ami sweating. ”We will send the Minster when our... deliberations are complete?”

Karen nodded regally, then turned and walked out of the dining room, motioning for her other advisor to follow her. I’m pretty sure she’d studied Saffron on the nod thing. Lord Lancaster, actually.

That would explain it, thought Saffron as Karen took her advisor by the hand and, drawing on my Blend, stepped back to the Seeking Tentacle. I learned it from him, too.

For the rest of Wednesday, I did my daily routine, all the while trying to hide my growing tension. By late in the day, Saffron popped into the Infirmary and waved Siobhan over.

”Your assistants can do without you for the remainder of the day.”

Siobhan just nodded. ”What do you need, Imperator?”

Saffron pulled me upright, took Siobhan by the hand, and stepped us all to the Bedroom. ”I’m keeping watch over Karen and juggling the Grand Council. Help her,” she nodded to me, ”relax.”

Siobhan nodded, an impish smile dancing across her lips. ”Of course, Mistresses.”

Yeah, I was kinda a shit laundress and cook for the rest of the day. Siobhan’s gotten good at distraction. Probably taking lessons from my Kitten.

Of course I have. Haven’t you?

Before I could reply, Saffron’s voice filled our head. She’d never pay attention if she thought they were lessons. Our Goof learns best by doing.

I still stole glimpses when Karen watched out the window. Compton stirred like a kicked over anthill. Of course, the Seeking Tentacle wasn’t exactly passive. Early in the morning, Admiral Pesce pulled the Questing Tentacle alongside her. Within minutes, they had cargo cross-loading. After a bit I realized that at least half of the movement was purely showing off, playing like the holds of both ships were practically bottomless.

I mean, they were probably the two biggest ships in the harbor by volume, but still.

When the sun rose today, Minister Mamadou approached the dock at the head of a small and shrinking unit of spearmen. Every few steps, another pair of spearmen peeled off to stand facing one another from opposite sides of the absolutely empty street. The last pair split to bracket the end of the dock, and Mamadou approached alone. When he reached the end of the ramp up to the deck of the Seeking Tentacle, without raising his eyes above level, he called out, ”Honorable Ambassador Karen Smith of the Inter-City Alliance, would you speak with our Mansa?”

Karen stepped out onto the ramp, walking halfway down before answering in a far less carrying voice. ”That is why I was sent. To speak with your leaders on a number of topics.”

Mamadou bowed, a big flowery thing that wound up with a straight up kowtow, his face nearly to the ground, only lifted far enough for his voice to still carry. ”Then if it please the Honorable Ambassador...”

”Mamadou,” Karen spoke quietly, but with the inner core of command that I’d heard so often from Larry, from Lenny, from Saffron. ”Stand up. Respect is fine. Honor is appreciated. But not one person in the Alliance desires your obeisance.” She reached out a hand, and after a moment’s hesitation, Mamadou took it.

As she pulled him up, he quietly said, ”not one?”

She smiled and rolled her eyes just a little, enough for him to see, and spoke just loud enough for him to hear in turn. ”Oh, we have our assholes, as I’m sure every City does. But no one of consequence.”

”Please, follow me.” He turned and began walking at a measured pace; not even a really fast walk, but not quite ’stately’ or slow. ”Even your Goddess?”

I felt her smirk, knew it was coming, and still blushed. ”Maybe if she were lying in front of you and you’re good with your tongue. Or even just enthusiastic.” As he choked a little on his spit trying not to laugh, Karen followed that up with, ”she’s big into enthusiasm. But she returns it with interest.”

Whatever they were gonna say next was drowned out by the spearmen hammering the butts of their spears into the street, the double impacts stretching all the way from the dock to the palace. The impacts receded into the distance; by the time Mamadou and Karen got to the second cross street the wave came back. The two of them walked side by side through the City, as the wave of spear thumping oscillated around them. There had to be a few thousand troops lined up, all of them with leather armor that looked to be at least as well made as our Dragon Slayer gear. It also looked just as expensive, although that was from the gold trim on everything, which didn’t look like ’gold leaf’ or gold thread, but actual gold wire. Their spears had inlay as well; enough to look really pretty, but not enough to interfere with their basic function of poking holes in somebody from outside of arm’s reach. Each troop also had a full length shield, kind of hourglass shaped instead of the rectangular ones our Volunteers used. Still, they looked remarkably similar in terms of general equipment.

In terms of training and equipment, they definitely had an edge on our part time Volunteers. Veterans, at least, although I couldn’t tell if it was actual combat experience or just intense training.

They also managed to time the last oscillation of their spear thumps with Karen’s first step into the palace. Karen followed Mamadou directly into the palace between quadruple rows of spearmen who stood immobile, staring straight ahead. Instead of going to the side into the waiting rooms and the dining room, they proceeded directly to a grand throne room. It reminded me a little of the Overlord’s keep. On second glance, it reminded me of that a lot, like one of them had been built as an imitation of the other. This one had less fancy Fae bullshit going on. On the other hand, it was bigger and had fuckin’ gold decorations everywhere.

Mamadou led Karen right up to the low dais where Omar and Ami sat on actual thrones encrusted with gold and gems. This was the first time I’d seen that kind of thing here and now, really, and I gotta say, the two of them looked the part of King and Queen. Or maybe King and Vizier, I wasn’t sure. Mamadou bowed at the waist, his voice ringing out, ”Mansa, Yakky, the Honorable Ambassador of the Inter City Alliance.”

Omar looked down at Karen from his throne, although the dais wasn’t high enough for it to be that much of ’looking down’. ”Ambassador.”

”Mansa,” replied Karen. Then she looked around. ”I take it Gerald is unavailable?”

Ami spoke, and I realized she had bags under her eyes. ”He’s resting. He and I remained up late talking. We could send for him?”

Karen shook her head. ”No need. Let him rest.” She glanced to the spearmen in one direction, then in the other. ”Impressive. I take it your Heroic fighters are equipped like your regular troops?”

Mansa Omar tossed his head side to side. ”We in Compton are less enamored of having a small number of powerful fighters.”

Mentally I whispered, Trolls? and Karen nodded her understanding.

”When trained properly and well equipped, non-Heroic troops can be formidable.” She leaned forward. ”Was this really necessary though?”

He sighed. ”I... We are not defenseless.”

”I never assumed you were.” She looked around, then asked, one professional to another, ”your troops use horn bows?”

The Mansa shrugged. ”Javelins. Horn Bows are for officers.” Either Omar was full of shit, or this demonstration had gotten a lot more impressive, because every damn spearman in the room had a horn bow. Omar took a deep breath, then said, ”any invasion of Compton will meet with stiff resistance.”

”Good!” Karen’s honest word left the poor dude on the throne befuddled. Bamboozled, even, especially as Ami barked out a laugh.

”Told you.”

Omar paused, looked at the ceiling as if in prayer, then after a sour glance at Ami, turned back to Karen. ”If you do not intend to invade, what are your intentions?”

”The Alliance wishes simply to secure our borders. Whether that’s done by ensuring our neighbors are friendly and well defended, or by convincing them of the benefits of joining our Alliance is of... I will not say ’little import’, but at the end of the day either is fully acceptable to us.”

He nodded again. ”So. You have seen the officers of our Army. Are we ’well defended’?”

Karen paused in thought, the gesture pure theater. ”How many troops per officer?”

”Four.”

Karen looked around. ”So today we’ve seen one in five of your fighters?” Omar nodded. ”Then my answer would be ’not well enough.”

”So you would conquer us to ’defend’ us?” Omar frowned.

Karen laughed, shaking her head. ”Why do you insist that we want to conquer you? Thus far the Alliance has yet to attack another sovereign power.”

”That’s not quite true,” Ami’s quiet words cut through the room. When Karen looked a question at her, Ami said, ”my guide tells me the Dragon thought of itself as Sovereign.”

Karen shrugged. ”It also sent waves of Dire Bears to assault not only us, but our western neighbors. We defended ourselves against that aggression until the Dragon herself attacked.”

”And then?” Ami asked quietly.

Karen smiled at Omar, even as she answered Ami’s question. ”Then my Goddess took offense and ate the one who offended her.”

Omar looked like he’d finally been let in on the joke. ”Are you telling me that your Goddess, one we have never heard of before this past year, killed and ate an Ancient Sovereign Dragon?”

Karen smiled, and I swear to fuck Ami shivered, as did the officers standing near her. ”Oh, no. I never said she killed her first.”

Omar opened his mouth, and Ami cut him off. ”She tells the truth. Rabbit and Spider help me, she... she tells it with humility.”

He looked at her, then at Karen, then back at Ami. ”Humility?”

”She does not say that the Mistress of Tentacles tore the Dragon limb from limb. Slowly, forcing the Dragon to watch as she was consumed.”

Then what Ami said hit me. May I?

I am my Goddess’s to use as she sees fit.

I slipped into Karen and looked at Ami. ”Rabbit? You know Rabbit?”

Ami froze, and I Co-Located into M-Space beside where Karen stood. Rabbit stood there, eyes wide with that perfect deer in headlights look. ”Rabbit! Long time no see!” I opened my arms wide. She glanced over my shoulder, but I didn’t take my eyes off her. ”C’mon, give us a hug. Oh, and tell your buddy the spider that if he bites me, I’m not gonna hold myself responsible for what the tentacles outside do.”

I held myself still as a pair of long, thin arms slowly wrapped themselves around me just below tit level. Then another set wrapped around my waist, and hot breath washed over my ear. ”And what if I just want a hug?”

I laughed and waved Rabbit toward me, walking forward as I did. Not fast, not jerking away from the arms. Just towing them along with me. ”More people means more arms. More arms makes for better hugs. C’mon, Rabbit, bring it in. You don’t have to be afraid of this one,” I jerked a thumb over my shoulder. ”I’m gonna be just as pissed if you get hurt.” I felt a little hurt with how frightened she looked. Turning down the boisterous I said, ”you’re not afraid of him, are you?”

She shrugged, shook her head.

”You know I’m still the same Tabitha you had dinner with a couple times, right?” She nodded. ”Same Tabitha whose Siobhan you had some fun with.” She looked like she was about to bolt at that. ”Oh, c’mon. You can’t think I’m mad about that?” She shrugged again, and I lowered myself to sit on the floor. The hot breath and arms followed. ”C’mon, Rabbit. I promised you, I’m not going to hurt you.”

”Even if I run?”

I sighed, still without taking my eyes off her. ”I’m gonna close my eyes. I really hope that I get a hug before you go. I’d like it even more if we could just sit and swap stories about stuff that’s happened.” The arms around me twitched, the breath stilled. ”I mean, I’ve got some good ones. I got married!” Rabbit looked confused, maybe surprised by that. ”But if you’re gone when I open my eyes, I’m not gonna be mad. Sad, yeah. You’re my friend. I don’t want you to be scared of me. But I get it if you are.”

I closed my eyes. I waited. Almost so softly I couldn’t feel it, Rabbit settled into my lap, her arms snaking around me. I held her as she wept. The arms around me from behind twitched, and I breathed out, ”I will be very upset if my friend Rabbit comes to any kind of harm.”

Two more arms went around both of us, gently squeezing. ”Harm? Who intends harm? Not I. But I believe some stories were offered?”

Time flows oddly in M-Space. In the Mortal Realm, I stepped forward, putting on my best ’we’re all friends here’ smile. ”Ami, why didn’t you say you knew Rabbit? She’s an old friend of mine! Any friend of Rabbit’s is a friend of mine. Well, for a loose enough definition of ’friend’.”

”What do you...”

”Shut. Up. Omar.” Ami hissed. ”That is not Karen Smith.”

Every spear holding hand in the room clenched. ”Yeah, no, it is, but I’m kinda talking through her right now. With her explicit permission.” I paused. ”Gotta say, though, it would probably be less weird if I were here in person.” I wriggled a little. ”Been a while since I wore panties on the regular.” I tried unsuccessfully to wriggle to a state of comfort, then asked, ”why are you even wearing panties anyhow, Karen?”

She laughed and said, ”they’re part of my Holy Garb, Goddess.”

I blew out a lungful of air thinking about those. Conrad loves trolling me with that shit. ”Fair.” I glanced around the room at the very much ready to spring into action troops. ”Hey, look, Omar, do you mind if I come down in person? I’m not kidding about these things riding up.”

”Were you here in person, how long would our Mortal troops stand against you?”

I didn’t say it. I didn’t fucking say it. I absolutely bit Karen’s lip not saying it. Then Ami of all people went and made all my careful self control meaningless by saying it. ”Omar. If she wanted to kill us? She would have already.”

I looked at Omar, shrugged, and I mean the full on palms up, elbows bent, ’really though’ grin on my face shrug, and nodded. Omar looked at Ami, who gave him a ’get on with it’ nod, at which point he turned back to me and said, ”very well.”

I stepped from the Grand Council chamber to stand right in front of Karen as I stopped puppeting her. The Dress flowed around me, her boots striking the inlaid floor with that really nice click you get from heels. ”Oh, that’s better.” I nodded to Ami. ”Thanks for all this,” I nodded to all the pomp and circumstance. ”But really you didn’t have to. Seriously.” I turned back to Omar. ”Dude, I’m not kidding, Karen’s serious, we have like zero intention to invade or anything like that.” I shrugged. ”We just finished fighting a couple big assed wars.”

”So you couldn’t invade if you did want to?”

Two of me, then four of me, then eight of me, then sixteen of me stood facing the troops in the room. ”Oh, I didn’t say that. But here’s the thing,” I collapsed them all back to myself. ”I really don’t want to do all that work. I’m still on my fuckin’ honeymoon, and having to fight a whole fuckin’ army, a professional looking one at that, would interfere with the ’fucking’ part of ’fuckin’ honeymoon’ way too much. Shit, I’m not really all that into ’invasions’ anyhow.”

Omar opened his mouth to say something, and I guessed before he got it out. ”Calverton was totally the Alliance helping one of its member Cities clean out an Undead infestation. Any resemblance to an invasion was purely coincidental. Really. Seriously. Ask Ami to ask Rabbit if you really need her to. Yeah, I can wreck shit if I have to, but I’d really rather be at home with Marie.”

Omar had gotten that sort of dizzy look that so often preceded a ’What the Fuck, Diaz?’ look, so I shut my pie hole and waited. Eventually he shook his head and said, ”so what do you want of us?”

I shrugged. ”me personally? Some information about a missing relative. The Alliance?” I paused. ”Uh, really just what Karen said, although I think there’s some more details to it. Like, actual action items instead of just happy bullshit. But,” I paused, sighed. ”Look. You help me with that personal information, I’ll personally guarantee that our Ambassador is dealing in Good Faith.”

”How?”

I smiled at him. ”Karen?”

”Yes, Goddess?”

”Deal in Good Faith with Omar here. If you don’t, no more Revels for you.”

I felt her roll her eyes. ”You need not threaten consequence, Goddess. I am but your humble Priestess, obedient to your will.”

”Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. Look, Omar, I don’t know how to convince you other than by just, y’know, playing straight with you. Right now I kinda want to go tell Spider about my wedding, because hoo boy that was fun. But I gotta be here until you at least promise to hear Karen out. To, y’know, give peace a chance.”

He sighed, shook his head, then reached out and clasped my hand. ”So be it. What is this personal information you seek?”

”You guys have any information on the whereabouts of Adrienne Crow?”