I Became a Witch in a World Full of Urban Legends

Inside the “V” Office of the Hua City Folk Culture Administration Bureau.

Lu Yibei sat across the table from Jiang Li, locked in a sweet and sticky atmosphere. After just a few seconds, he snapped back to reality. “Wait, did you just say there’s another new assignment for me?”

Assigning me a task this quickly–do you think I’m a beast of burden? And you didn’t even give me any grass!

Hearing Lu Yibei’s question, the faint trace of affection in Jiang Li’s eyes vanished instantly. She nodded slightly and said, “Yes, that’s right! Looks like your hearing has finally reached the average human level.”

“But…” Lu Yibei scratched his hair, complaining, “Boss, you know what I’ve been up to these days!”

Where’s that heartwarming Meow Meow-chan? Where did she go? Give her back to me, you jerk!

While grumbling inwardly, Lu Yibei kept winking at Jiang Li, but…

[Lu Yibei has sent Jiang Li an invitation for eye contact]

[Jiang Li has rejected Lu Yibei’s invitation and blocked his messages]

Jiang Li shot Lu Yibei a glare, her face stern and businesslike. “I know. You’re talking about sending that girl home last night, and in the heat of the moment, you almost held her hand, right?”Lu Yibei, “…” Did that really happen? Wait, she was following me! So she wasn’t letting me go with peace of mind, but secretly keeping tabs on me, planning to settle scores later?

Seeing Lu Yibei fall silent, Jiang Li said expressionlessly, “If not that, then it must be the time you acted heroically, got injured by a thug, and spent a week in the hospital.”

As she spoke, she bent down and took a hospital record and a police statement from the desk drawer, placing them on the table and pushing them toward Lu Yibei.

“Here! If you have time, remember to take these to your counselor at school. Hua City University of Technology has pretty strict management. If you skip class for ten days without a reason, you might have to retake some courses.”

Lu Yibei’s eye twitched. “…” Why is it always ‘heroic deed’? Can’t you come up with a fresher excuse? There are still people at school calling me Lu eighteen!

Watching Lu Yibei stare at the medical record and statement, quietly complaining, Jiang Li raised an eyebrow and said, “If there are no other questions, I’ll brief you on the assignment, okay?”

Without giving Lu Yibei a chance to refuse, she quickly bent down and pulled out a thick stack of documents from another drawer, placing them on the table and pushing them toward him.

“These are the relevant files on the current Nocturnal Syndrome outbreak in Hua City, as well as documents on the Qi Nanzhu special spatial anomaly incident. The task of writing the investigation report is yours. Once finished, send it to my internal email before 2 p.m. tomorrow.”

[Be good, this is for your own good! [heart emoji]]

Seeing the look Jiang Li sent him, Lu Yibei froze for a moment, then suddenly understood.

So it’s not about persecuting me, but worrying that if someone else writes this report, too much information might leak and get me targeted?

So if I write this investigation report, can’t I just make it up as I please?

As if sensing Lu Yibei’s little scheme, Jiang Li reminded him, “You’d better take this report seriously. Don’t make up anything.”

“The person in charge of reviewing the database for The Midnight Watchers Society is a catastrophe-class psychic with a special Spirit Pattern. It only takes a short time to detect whether the uploaded electronic document is authentic and reliable.”

Lu Yibei, “…” What kind of psychic is that? With someone like that around, writing an investigation report is no different from writing ‘My Sinful Life’!

“But…” Jiang Li paused, then added, “That psychic is only responsible for verifying the authenticity of the content, not its completeness.”

In fact, haunting abilities are bizarre and often illogical. Even if a haunting incident has been handled by The Midnight Watchers Society operators and the danger eliminated, there may still be unresolved mysteries that can’t be explained for now. That’s unavoidable.

“Only responsible for authenticity, not completeness…” Lu Yibei savored Jiang Li’s words, his eyes lighting up. “Oh! Now I get it, I totally get it!”

Even if everything is true, with missing content, you can rearrange and combine things to get a completely different result.

With this mechanism, I just need to make sure every sentence in the report is true and reliable. As for things that need to be hidden…

The operators of Hua City’s The Midnight Watchers Society are either fools, slackers, or just salary thieves coasting through the days. Even with someone as diligent as Li Xuan, it’s just a drop in the bucket.

If he overlooks certain details during the investigation, that’s perfectly reasonable, right? Lu Yibei thought to himself.

At the same time, he felt deeply guilty for having led Jiang Li astray, down the path of a traitor.

“Squeak–!”

Just as Lu Yibei was lost in thought, the office door opened.

Speak of the devil–Li Xuan stormed in, looking disgruntled. Seeing Lu Yibei in the office, he paused in surprise. “What are you doing here? Have you been here the whole time?”

As he spoke, his face showed an odd expression, like someone who mustered the courage to try surströmming and suddenly found it delicious.

“Yeah!” Lu Yibei replied, utterly confused. “Did you need something from me?”

Li Xuan eyed Lu Yibei suspiciously for a while, then probed, “So, you didn’t slash my car tire?”

“Are you crazy?” Lu Yibei rolled his eyes and threatened, “If you keep slandering me, I’ll slash your tire for real!”

Li Xuan’s mouth twitched as he muttered, “If it wasn’t you, then it must’ve been that bastard Bai Kai.”

Hearing this, Lu Yibei frowned in confusion. “Why would he slash your tire for no reason? Did you freeload at his club and not pay?”

“How should I know!” Li Xuan growled angrily. “Enough, I’m done talking to you guys. I’m leaving.”

With that, he stormed out of the office just as quickly as he’d come.

Judging by his manner, he was probably off to fix his slashed tire.

I know… Watching Li Xuan’s departing figure, Jiang Li narrowed her eyes slightly and murmured to herself, then glanced over at Lu Yibei.

If I don’t find something for Li Xuan to do, how would the task of writing the investigation report smoothly fall into your hands?

“…” Lu Yibei caught a hint of something in Jiang Li’s gaze and was momentarily speechless.

A moment later.

After listening to Jiang Li’s brief instructions on the investigation report, Lu Yibei left her office and returned to his temporary office.

He pulled out the squeaky chair, sat down, opened his laptop, right-clicked, and created a new DOC file…

And so, after a whirlwind of events and without a moment’s rest, Lu Yibei once again plunged into the miserable life of churning out words.

Late at night.

Hua City Folk Culture Administration Bureau, temporary office.

Lu Yibei sat upright at the worn wooden desk, a thick stack of documents piled before him, a cup of steaming coffee, and the intermittent clacking of keyboard keys–he looked every bit the overworked corporate drone.

Except for the hour he’d spent at dusk, leaving Mudan Street to find a secluded spot and halt the haunting transformation, he’d been sitting here for a full eleven hours.

[

Basic Disaster: In early April this year, the first case of Nocturnal Syndrome was confirmed in Hua City. Three days later, the number grew to 12 cases, and over the next 20 days, it reached 271 cases. By the end of the outbreak, there were 352 infected and 289 deaths.……]

A long while later.

At the end of the investigation report, after pounding out the final period.

Lu Yibei took his hands off the keyboard, looked at the screen, let out a long, heavy breath, and nodded in satisfaction.

“Whew–! Done!”

The several-thousand-word report detailed, in its first half, how Gu Qianqian, due to personal grievances, went from being hunted by various illegal psychic ability organizations to, amid the chaos, being swept into a special space with members of the Eclipse Society carrying Beast of Inheritance flesh, thus triggering the entire Nocturnal Syndrome outbreak.

The latter half expressed gratitude to the silver horn Secretary, who made outstanding contributions to controlling and eradicating the outbreak, and to the Great Pure Palace disciple Huá Sāng, who arrived in time to re-anchor the special space, fully affirming their key roles in the incident.

As for how the Beast of Inheritance flesh that invaded the special space was dealt with…

That’s none of Beibei’s business! The investigation report isn’t made up–if it hasn’t been investigated clearly, there’s no way he’d dare write nonsense! Lu Yibei thought slyly.

“This is great. I guarantee there’s not a single false word in here!”

“Off work, off work!”

Muttering to himself, Lu Yibei logged into The Midnight Watchers Society intranet, sent the completed report to Jiang Li’s inbox, then shut down the computer, slung his little backpack over his shoulder, and walked out of the office, finishing his day as a corporate drone.

——–

“Creak–!”

Lu Yibei, not treating himself as an outsider at all, pushed open the door to Office “V” No. 5 and poked half his body inside.

He looked around, but didn’t spot Jiang Li. He sighed silently, giving up on the idea of “incidentally” inviting her for a late-night snack, then “incidentally” watching a movie, then “incidentally” walking her home, and if possible, “incidentally” staying over for the night.

He’d always wanted to go on a proper date with Jiang Li, but…

Taking the initiative was impossible; he could only hope for a chance to do things “incidentally.”

Lu Yibei walked out of the office building with a spring in his step, warmly greeted the mushroom girl who was staring blankly at an anthill, turned left at the exit, and found his beloved little scooter in the garage near the special task force gym.

Ever since the Night Parade of a Hundred Ghosts, he’d been submitting requests to the supplies department brothers every few days for a new vehicle, with all sorts of strange and creative reasons.

The supplies department brothers, finally fed up, took advantage of a sale the day before yesterday and, out of their own pockets, got him a brand-new, Ghostfire Youth edition scooter.

Spending money for some peace and quiet was worth it.

He inserted the key, hopped onto his beloved scooter, and, humming a little tune, rode out the back gate, leaving the Hua City Folk Culture Administration Bureau behind.

“Riding my beloved little scooter~ it never gets stuck in traffic… huh?”

With a soft exclamation, Lu Yibei suddenly slammed the brakes, pulling over to the roadside, then narrowed his eyes at the girl collapsed at the alley entrance.

A narrow alley shrouded in night, a woman lying face-down and motionless–if you added a sharp knife and a pool of crimson blood, it’d be a textbook crime scene.

But Lu Yibei was sure the girl was alive.

He recognized her. According to Jiang Li, she was Li Xuan’s junior apprentice sister, and it was she who, in place of the legendary [Dark Emperor], re-anchored the special space–her strength was not to be underestimated.

For a psychic of this level, while their vitality couldn’t match a haunting of the same rank, they weren’t that easy to kill, either.

Still, even if she was alive, lying by the roadside for so long wasn’t exactly normal, was it? Lu Yibei thought.

Before he reported to Jiang Li’s office in the morning, Huá Sāng was already lying there. When he left Mudan Street briefly at dusk to halt the haunting transformation, she was still there. Now, several hours later, it was deep into the night, and she was still there, not even changing position.

Yep, definitely hadn’t moved! Even if a normal person lay on the ground, who would stick their butt up for no reason?

Come to think of it, this girl looked pretty sloppy, but her butt was quite round and perky…

Ahem, that’s not the point. The point is, she’s been lying here and no one’s doing anything about it? Where’s her senior brother? Off fixing a tire? Well, whatever. Lu Yibei thought.

After grumbling to himself for a while, following the principle of “if nobody else cares about this, I’d better not get involved either,” Lu Yibei pushed his beloved little scooter, carefully steering clear of Huá Sāng.

After bypassing Huá Sāng, he didn’t pause for a second. He quickly hopped onto his scooter, revved the throttle twice, and was just about to speed off when something strange happened.

The Pure Lotus Sword in his backpack seemed to be triggered by something, giving a slight tremble. Before he could even notice the abnormality, his vision blurred.

It was like a hallucination–patches of gray-black stains appeared before his eyes, crawling with mossy dark green. A strange chill crept over his body, and a powerful hunger surged up, making his stomach churn violently.

That hunger was different from the feeling when the core entity of a haunting needed psychic energy, when psychic energy fluctuations went haywire, the stomach burned, and the core entity stirred restlessly, as if the body were being hollowed out.

This was just pure hunger, like not having eaten for a whole day. Lu Yibei hadn’t felt that way in a long time.

But… why am I suddenly feeling this way? Having not been human for a long time, Lu Yibei was puzzled.

At the same time, Huá Sāng on the ground suddenly convulsed as if having a seizure, snapping out of her turtle-breathing state. She abruptly opened her eyes, glanced at Lu Yibei, then reached out and grabbed his ankle tightly.

Maybe because she had stayed motionless in turtle-breathing for so long, her hand was as cold as a corpse. Her five fingers slowly tightened, like five icy snakes silently coiling around his ankle.

Feeling the chill on his ankle, Lu Yibei was startled and shivered, instinctively twisting the scooter’s handle.

As the saying goes, once the ghost fire ignites, your parents raised you for nothing.

With a roar from the engine, the scooter accelerated from 0 to 50 km/h in just a few seconds.

The sound of fabric dragging on the ground, mixed with weak, miserable cries, echoed through the narrow alley.

“Ah…”

“Ouch…”

“It hurts…”

Hearing those half-hearted cries ring in his ears, Lu Yibei was startled and slammed on the brakes, pulling the scooter over to the side of the road.

However, while the scooter stopped, Huá Sāng did not. Her body slid along the ground without any resistance, gliding a good ten meters before finally hitting the stone wall at the alley corner with a dull “thud” and coming to a stop.

Seeing this, Lu Yibei’s eye twitched. He cautiously walked over and asked in a slightly trembling voice, “Um… are you okay?”

Huá Sāng acted as if she hadn’t heard him. She slowly lifted her head, met his gaze for two seconds, and then languidly said, “Hungry.”

Usually, Li Xuan brought her three meals a day. For some reason today, after buying breakfast, Li Xuan disappeared. Having missed two meals and starved until late at night, she was now famished.

Lu Yibei, “…” What does that mean? Are you trying to scam me? You were the one who made the first move–there are cameras at the alley entrance!

“Well… how about I buy you something to eat? But at this hour, it’s hard to find anything open nearby. Probably only the 7-22 convenience store at Mudan Street is still open.” He asked tentatively.

Nobody wanted this to happen, right? Let’s both take a step back–I’ll buy you something cheap, and you don’t scam me!

Don’t ask why a convenience store is open in the middle of the night. If you must know, it’s run by Du Sixian. Recently, she’s opened over a dozen similar night-time stores in Hua City, taking advantage of her status as the King of Hauntings’ familiar.

“Okay.” Huá Sāng replied, slowly rolling over and sprawling out on the ground in a starfish shape. Her old Taoist robe was even more tattered, one pant leg torn, revealing a slender, pale calf in Hello Kitty flip-flops.

“Alright! Let’s go together. Just pick whatever you want.” Lu Yibei said.

What’s Du Sixian’s is mine–no problem freeloading.

With that, he turned around, pushed his scooter over, and then noticed Huá Sāng was still lying on the ground, not moving at all.

Seeing that Lu Yibei hadn’t caught on, Huá Sāng glanced at him sideways and said flatly, “Three jellies, two plain yogurts, thanks.”

Jelly and yogurt were the easiest foods she could think of to eat from a convenience store.

Lu Yibei stared at Huá Sāng’s face, covered in dust and mud, dazed for two seconds before coming to his senses. Pointing at himself in surprise, he asked, “You mean, you want me to buy them for you?”

“Yes.” Huá Sāng replied indifferently.

“But…” Lu Yibei opened his mouth, wanting to complain about her shamelessness, but when he heard her words, he swallowed his trash talk.

“Can’t move.”

Lu Yibei, “…”

Can’t move? Is she hurt?

Makes sense–after what just happened, an ordinary person would be lucky to make it to the hospital in time.

Even for a high-tier psychic, getting injured is understandable.

Thinking this, Lu Yibei pursed his lips. “Then just stay here and don’t move. I’ll be right back.”

As he spoke, he walked around Huá Sāng and headed toward the convenience store at Mudan Street.

However…

He’d only taken a few steps when a sharp pain struck the top of his head, as if someone had slammed him from above.

His brain rattled, a wave of dizziness washed over him, and Lu Yibei’s body went limp as he collapsed to the ground.