I Became a Witch in a World Full of Urban Legends

Getting kicked out of Jiangli’s office was certainly a confusing experience for Lu Yibei.

Walking out of the gate of the Night Division, he couldn’t help but look back with a frown.

May Mew Mew be with me? Is she trying to hint that she’ll be accompanying me on my task?

Couldn’t she just… tell me? Why continue pretending to be Mew Mew? No… could it be…?

As he was deep in thought, a spark of inspiration ignited within his mind, and he quickened his pace as he left Peony Street.

…

Sitting in the taxi that drove further and further away from the Night Division, and far away from its detection range, he took out the sheaf of papers that were hastily stuffed inside his pocket.

On the now-crumpled papers, written in a neat font, the case held detailed information about the mysterious, premature deaths occurring in the Happy Community.

Noting down a few keywords from the case, he folded it back neatly and stuffed it into his pocket before fishing for his phone.

Tapping on his phone, he discreetly glanced at the taxi driver through the rearview mirror, switching his phone to silent mode. He then turned on his web browser, entered a familiar web address, and skillfully tapped on the skull emoji that was floating about the endless horde of inappropriate advertisements. Then, he tapped into the commissions section of the urban legend forum.Holding a deep breath, he tapped on the search bar of the forums, entered the query [Happy Community], and tapped on [Search].

As the page loaded, lo and behold, it was a commission that swept away all remaining doubt within his mind.

If I’m guessing it correctly, Jiangli wants me to accompany her in completing the commissions for the urban legend forums, not the other way around.

However, how did they even gain her trust? To make a Night Division Operator tolerate their existence, and even participate in their activities?

There are already too little Operators working in Huacheng’s Night Division, and now, one of their own Operators are hanging around urban legends. Isn’t that a little too…

Plus! I didn’t even agree to that bug’s request yet! Considering that Jiangli had already accepted the commission, am I left with no other choice?

Just as he was busy worrying about it, his phone vibrated, and a notification popped up from the urban legend chat app.

[Genius Mahjong Girl has sent you a friend request!]

…Accept.

[You are now friends with Genius Mahjong Girl. Go ahead! Start the conversation!]

[Genius Mahjong Girl: Are you online? Are you down to work together tonight? 🫰]

[VACCARIA: No. I’ve got to take a shit later at night.]

[Genius Mahjong Girl: Even if we split the reward?]

[VACCARIA: Listen… I don’t wanna work with the fake Mew Mew…]

[Genius Mahjong Girl: What are you talking about? I am the real Mew Mew! 🫰]

[VACCARIA: Nuh uh, I’m not buying it, unless you take a selfie with a fork on your nose.]

[Mahjong Genius Girl: Ah. Can’t really do that right now. I’m using a landline, so no photos!]

[VACCARIA: …?

]

[VACCARIA: Well, I’m not free tonight. Let’s discuss another time.]

Yibei had already planned to go to the ghost market tonight to dispose of his Disaster Liquid and use it to purchase materials to make up for his shortcomings. He had no time whatsoever to accompany Jiangli on her little mission.

Moreover, even if he wanted to, it’s an urban legend with an unknown Threat Level – at the very least, he wanted to make some preparations before going there.

First, I’m going to make up for my weaknesses by reinforcing my runes and purchase some psychic items for self-defence. Then, I’ll accept one or two commissions to confirm the legitimacy of the urban legend forums. After, I’ll investigate the Happy Community, and claim my reward. That is the easiest, fastest process I can come up with.

[Genius Mahjong Girl: When will you be free?]

Yibei frowned as he read the message, looking out the window of the taxi. Then, he swiftly typed out a reply.

[VACCARIA: At least three days later.]

[Genius Mahjong Girl: Alright! I’ll be waiting on you! 🫰]

…why does she seem more cheerful online than in real life? He wondered, tilting his head. And why does she keep sending this 🫰 emoji? Is she trying to send me a hidden message or something? I’m getting weirded out!

However, as he thought about the strangely cheerful soul that was locked behind that cold, jade-like appearance of his superior, he couldn’t help but find it cute.

…

In an office labelled with a roman ‘V’, within the endless confines of the Night Division.

Jiangli stared at the chat room opened on her phone, and when she finally received her subordinate’s reply, she couldn’t help but let a faint smile escape from the corners of her mouth.

Holding up her phone, she typed out a simple [I’ll be seeing you then!], added another finger-heart emoji (which was the only emoji available to her in the Recently Used section), and tapped on [Send].

It’s not that difficult to pretend to be a cute girl on the Internet, she thought to herself. All I have to do is send cute emojis!

…

Later at night, gloomy clouds converged into one another, and underneath the large shadows they cast, it seemed to put the entirety of Huacheng to sleep – everything was strangely silent, and in the darkness, urban legends awaiting their prey were ready to move.

The dilapidated streets in the late autumn held a thin fog over them, and yet, business people would appear from every corner of the city, walking through these streets like hazy, wandering ghosts.

It was rare for a lively place to appear after nightfall, and this is exactly where they would gather.

The end of the day was the start of business for the ghost market.

Gu Qianqian packed up all of her large woks, gas tanks, various fried foods for sale, and turned over the wooden placard on her street hawker cart that read [Fried Rice & Noodles] to reveal [Qianqian’s Grocer] on the back of the placard. She then pushed her cart towards a deeper part of the alleyway.

Her small business has been doing great the past few days. With all the materials she has exchanged via barter to obtain various alchemical materials, her plans to make an [Mini Artificial Sun] succeeded, and she launched it into the sky of the Serpent’s domain within the bamboo scrolls. The Artificial Sun beamed with light, sweeping away the putrid haze that polluted the evil world for millennia.

As she pushed the cart forward, the system couldn’t help but nag in her ears.

“Gu Qianqian, you must consider your next steps carefully,” the system advised. “It will take more than just a Sun to revive that Snake’s world to help in your goals of cultivation. In my opinion, I don’t think it’s worth it. If anything, growing potatoes there is more than enough. There really isn’t a need to grow… let’s see what you suggested… tomatoes? Rice? Snow peas?”

“…eh?” Gu Qianqian was visibly confused as she asked. “Didn’t you mention something about performing miracles in front of the villagers to gather their faith? What happened to that?”

“Did you not perform the miracle of [Five Fish and Two Loaves] to the villagers? Why do you have to farm when you can just spawn food out of thin air?”

The system had no idea why Gu Qianqian had an obsession for farming. With the funds obtained from selling formulas and psychic items, they could easily solve the problem of hunger in the world concealed within the bamboo scrolls.

“B-but, I want to be like Shennong (神农), the Divine Farmer! I want to introduce life to their barren land, and provide them with ways to implement modern farming methods! Is there no greater miracle than self-sufficiency?” Gu Qianqian complained.

She… the system stuttered to themselves. She’s right…! Is it because her runic patterns are closely related to nature? Or is it because of her innate buff as a Gen-Z human to prioritize the living standards of her fellow human beings?

“Gu Qianqian, the problem is evident – such a miracle would take a long time to complete. I’m worried that you won’t have enough time.”

“What do you even mean by that? Don’t we have bamboo scrolls that tell us the recipe on crafting potions that help speed up plant growth?” she asked. “As long as we have enough materials, I am confident enough in my alchemical abilities! It’s not much harder than making my handicrafts, to be honest!”

The system couldn’t help but agree. After all, she was strangely talented in terms of alchemy.

The system had never let her come into contact with alchemy before, and was worried that something would go wrong when she crafted the [Copper Sphere of the Sun]. When production first started, there were enough materials to craft just five of them.

Nobody, not even the system, would have predicted that she would succeed, though barely, in crafting this medium-to-high difficultly alchemical item the second time she did it. By the fifth attempt, the [Copper Sphere of the Sun] was perfect and without flaw.

This situation surprised the system, and they felt a little regretful that they didn’t discover her talent in alchemical production earlier. If they did, they would select a runic pattern that could assist her in this matter.

In the future, Gu Qianqian could refine an alchemical potion so devastating that it could wipe out Disasters like the World Ender. Just thinking about it made the system feel giddy.

Just as the system was fantasizing in spraying that alchemical potion on the Witch’s face, Gu Qianqian had already parked her cart in a remote corner.

Looking left and right, she took out a bamboo scroll from her pocket that was sewn on the inside of her pants. Injecting psychic energy into the scroll, a stable portal the size of a manhole cover appeared mid-air in front of her.

She then threw all of her cooking tools and the remaining unsold food from her cart into the portal. Leaning half of her body into the portal, she then tossed psychic items one after another out of the portal.

[Mask of Glamour], [Potion of Wisdom], [Bamboo Scroll Replica], [Skeleton of the Serpent God]…

Yes, you read that right – the Skeleton of the Serpent God.

Ever since the Witch killed the Serpent, causing the giant sinkhole to collapse and seal on itself, the system was deathly worried that the Serpent would be resurrected, and asked Gu Qianqian to dig through its grave, harvesting its bones for sale.

I did it for everyone’s good! Selling all of its ashes to prevent its resurrection!

“System? A villager with a flat head told me that he found a glowing, bronze statue hidden in his house yesterday. He told me it might be a psychic item of some sort, and brought it to me while I was busy at the fields. Should we sell it?”

Her words interrupted the system’s thoughts, and they asked, “Oh? Where is the statue? Let’s take a look before we sell it.”

“Give me a second!” she nodded, leaning half of her entire body into the portal once again as various items were tossed out of the portal. “Hold on, I swear it was here just a second ago…”

“Found it, but…” she muttered. “Uh… I think something is wrong with it, system.”

“What seems to be the problem?”

“…I think I’ve seen this statue somewhere before.”

“Well, show it to me! I might recognize it!”

“Oooookay!” she responded, hauling the statue out from the portal before plopping it onto the ground with a loud “DUANG!”

The bronze metal of the statue outlined the figure’s toned muscles, and the statue itself held a cross, solemn face. Its arms were raised high up, holding a nuclear warhead firmly on its shoulders.

…Ah. Of course. If Gu Qianqian’s wasn’t knocked out clean by this damned thing, she would’ve recognized it for sure! This is that damned Witch’s statue that she carried at all times!

“System? System… you there?”

“I am here.”

“This looks like Lu Yibei’s statue!” Gu Qianqian guessed, patting on the statue of Acala, the Immovable’s head.

“It’s not just a ‘looks like’, Gu Qianqian – it is her statue!”

Why did that damned Disaster leave her statue in the Serpent’s world?! What is she trying to tell us?! Did she use it as an anchor so that she can observe us? And teleport inside whenever necessary? She must’ve devoured Jumang’s power by now, so she should be able to do this…

If that is the case, then everything that we’ve done under the Witch’s nose is for nothing!

“Is that true?” Gu Qianqian frowned. “We should probably give it back to her. You told me that, as an upstanding citizen, I shouldn’t take things that don’t belong to me.”

I’m just fucking worried that you’ll sell it because you’re a big and greedy pig! That’s why I keep instilling you to be an upstanding citizen! I don’t want you picking these strange things up to sell! This damned statue is obviously the Disaster’s back-up plan, so if we give it back to her, it’s straight-up telling her that we discovered her conspiracy!

We’ve come so far, and my plans are finally back on track! If she gets angry, my efforts will turn to nothing!

The system carefully organized its language and phrasing, “You see, that applies to humans, but I’m afraid that doesn’t really apply to urban legends and psychics. Since she is the World Ender, we cannot keep it with us, let alone return it to her! Do you know what happens if we return her weapon to her?”

“…no?”

“It means that we’re helping our enemy! We cannot return the statue to her – we must get rid of it at a low price! When you set up stall later, place it at the C-Grade section. As long as somebody is interested, no matter the price, sell it! Do you understand?”

“Ooookay… I got it.” she pouted as she reluctantly responded, pushing her cart into the ghost market.

…

“Should be right ‘ere!”

Zhang Dexian, the Invincible Man, stood at the entrance of a quiet, winding alley that seemed to lead to nowhere. Staring forward, he clenched his fists.

An hour ago, he received information from the urban legend group chat that a member discovered that a certain stall was selling a Divine Artifact that he had been searching for in Huacheng’s ghost market. Hence, he rushed over after reading the message.

With such a sacred opportunity landing itself in his hands, he was both nervous and excited to the point where he wanted to look up to the sky and guffaw.

Staring at the entrance, he patted his face lightly and walked towards the ghost market.

I mustn’t let the seller see that I am too eager to obtain the artifact. Otherwise, they would drive the prices up!

He had suffered this kind of pain countless of times when he first descended the mountain.

…

As the night grew darker, the ghost market grew livelier. All kinds of strange psychic energy fluctuations would flow through the market, from stall-to-stall, to street-to-street.

It was only then when Fu Er, the obese store owner, would ask his employees to open up shop.

If somebody hadn’t reserved an item today, he wouldn’t have wanted to open up shop since his right eyelid has been twitching non-stop since this afternoon, which signified misfortune.

As a veteran who had been in this line of business for many years, Fu Er was well aware of what brings in fortune, and what would bring in misfortune.

If somebody powerful disguises as somebody ordinary, his store will be ripped to smithereens and he would die. Hence, he would keep his guard up at all times.

He studied each person that came and went in his store, and his eyes blurred over time due to boredom. His thoughts would drift back to the time where he was still an errand boy in the ghost market.

At the time, he remembered meeting a man who had nothing but bad intentions. What was his name again? Lu Ming? He’s nothing but a bitch!

I don’t really remember what he looks like, but he looks just like the boy in front of me… wait a minute!

His eyes widened instantly as he stared at the plain boy walking towards him. His obese body trembled slightly, and beads of cold sweat dripped down his forehead. Taking in his appearance to confirm his identity, he took a deep breath.

D-damn it, you scared me! It’s just the son! I thought it was the father!

Is he the reason why my eyelids have been twitching all day today? Reanimating the body of a human is scary enough…

…but reviving the body of a psychic, or an urban legend? That’s way more terrifying! The most likely outcome of a psychic or urban legend resurrecting is corruption!

In truth, Fu Er was afraid that Lu Ming would be reanimated – if he did, what would he do?

Seeing Lu Yibei walking up to him, Fu Er retracted his thoughts and wiped away his sweat and smiled, “You came alone today? What brings you here?”

“Well, Shui isn’t free today, so he asked me to come by myself. I’ll contact him once I’m done here,” Yibei explained, making sure to emphasize his godfather’s name.

Fu Er seems scared of Shui, Yibei thought to himself. If I mention his name, Fu Er might not be brave enough to trick me. After all, it is my second time here, and I’m unsure of the customs…

“I see,” Fu Er smiled. “Did you come here to buy or sell something?”

“I’m here to sell things.”

“Oh? And what is it that you would like to sell?” he asked, narrowing his eyes as he sat straight up with considerable difficulty.

“…do you accept Disaster Liquid here?”

“Disaster Liquid? Depends. If you have too little, we won’t accept it.”

To Fu Er, Lu Yibei is merely a boy who had just obtained his runes to become a rookie psychic. If he accidentally came into contact with Disaster, he wouldn’t have that much to begin with.

Even though Yibei inherited both Lu Ming’s and Shui’s striking appearances, favors will remain as favors, and business will remain as business.

If this new precedent of accepting too little gets spread in the ghost market, wouldn’t he simply go out of business?

Just as Fu Er was deep in thought, Yibei rummaged through his backpack and plopped five bottles of Disaster Liquid on the counter, and pushed it towards him, “Is this enough?”

Fu Er was speechless.

“Is this too little?” he frowned. “It’s okay, I understand – I have a little more with me in my bag.”

As he spoke, Yibei plopped five more bottles of Disaster onto the counter.

Looking at the ten bottles on the counter, the corners of Fu Er’s mouth twitched slightly, and he remained speechless.

“Ah… still too little? I guess I have no choice but to…” Yibei frowned, reaching into his backpack again.

Seeing him reach into his bag again, Fu Er’s tiny eyes widened in severe shock, as if he had just gotten plastic surgery to make his eyes become bigger.

I-if he takes out five more bottles… I’ll show him! I’ll show him what a real heart attack looks like! I dare you! I fucking double-dare you! Fu Er trembled.

His face looks weird, Yibei thought, nodding in enlightenment as he unhanded the various bottles inside his bag. I get it! He’s testing me! I’ll just…

Yibei only took out one additional bottle from his bag, placing it gently on the counter.

“If this isn’t enough, then I’m stumped,” Yibei sighed helplessly. “I got nothing left.”

TRANSLATOR NOTES:

EDIT: Just realized this is an older version of the chapter… literally just fell to my knees in the middle of the grocer. It should be all fixed now. My apologies for not realizing it was an older version.

(CHANGELOG: From the section where Yibei visits Fu Er’s store, he no longer shows up as Witchbei, but as Yibei. Dialogue is altered to reflect this change.)

So… guess who binge-read the entire manhwa of I Became A Witch… me! It’s pretty nice seeing how the characters are portrayed! It gives me a greater idea of how they look – to be honest, Jiangli looked exactly how I imagined her, so the author did a great job at describing her! On the other hand, the plot is drastically shortened in the manhwa, seeing that they’re finishing up the Slaughterhouse arc now – pretty nice for those who want summarized versions of the story, but updates to the manhwa are pretty slow ^^”, understandable considering the art is really good.

If you’d like to support the translation, you can do so at https://ko-fi.com/slicedbreadsbakery. Any amount helps ^_^!