I Became a Witch in a World Full of Urban Legends

After casting the [Soul Invitation] spell to send the old woman back to the dead, the old woman felt peace as she shriveled into nothing, and the Witch quickly left before the old woman’s body turned to dust.

Strangely, Jiangli felt as if she had gotten into a lovers’ argument with the Witch. Watching her figure gradually blending into the night, she couldn’t help but sigh to herself.

She understood why the Witch felt that way – after all, the old woman was not exactly dead. She still seemed alive, yearning and pleading for her grandson to come home.

Over time, you will understand why. I got used to seeing this too many times.

As the Witch’s figure disappeared, Jiangli fished for her phone, and read the private message sent by Meow Xiaoqi.

[100 2/3 CATS: The gambling game that you mentioned will indeed manifest in Huacheng again. It will appear around October, when the Winter Clothes Festival begins. As for where it manifests and ways to participate in the game, we do not know yet – we need to spend more time searching for information. But let’s talk business! Work hard, complete tasks, and earn points so that you can redeem more mysterious answers at a later date! #LetsGetIt!]

[100 2/3 CATS: PS: If you wanna know how to earn points, refer to the document I sent.]

Jiangli’s eyes widened as she read the texts on her phone, and cursed, “Damn it…! I knew your shady organization would pull something like this!”

She did predict this earlier – when the urban legend group chat claimed that, post-review, she would get to know all the details about the gambling game that would be held in Huacheng, she knew that things just aren’t as simple as it seems.

Her face darkened considerably, and she shoved her phone into her pocket.Glancing to the side, she frowned as she stared at the old woman’s rapidly rotting body, before fishing her phone out again to call for her maid, Hua.

“Hello? Mistress? I-is that really you?”

“Who else?”

“I… I…!”

Jiangli pulled the phone away from her ear as the deafening sounds of Hua’s crying blasted through the speaker.

“What were you so worried for?” Jiangli asked after waiting for her to calm down. “I told you there was nothing to worry about.”

Despite the review itself and the Eclipse Society emerging being a little worrying, she decided to tell a white lie to Hua.

“Thank god, you’re okay! Mistress, I’ll be there in a second!”

“Alright,” Jiangli softly responded as her eyes drifted onto the rotting corpse. “And could you bring some tools to help dispose of a corpse? So… remember when I reserved a grave in the cemetery for Lu Yibei? I’m afraid that it’ll be used in advance.”

“Oh my god, no way,” Hua stuttered across the phone. “Mistress… did you… kill him off? What happened?”

Hua was internally panicking – it was already a serious violation that her Mistress went to participate in some urban legend chat group review, but…

I get it now! Hua thought internally. Lu Yibei must’ve caught my Mistress in the act, and she killed him to silence him, and she needs my help to conceal the evidence!

We’re going to be like Thelma & Louise!

“M-mistress? Might I suggest that I turn myself in on your behalf? T-tell them that I was the one who killed him, and you caught me.”

Jiangli massaged her temples and sighed, “No, it’s not what you think. I’ll explain it to you when you get here.”

“Really? Judging by what you said, Lu Yibei was there with you.”

Jiangli remained silent as she glanced towards the distance, and replied, “Do you really think that a coward like him would come to such a creepy, deserted area?”

Well, yes, he did. In fact, he, or she… appeared in such an unexpected form…

“Makes sense!”

Of course. Lu Yibei is shameless; a coward who loves to run away. Flight-over-fight. He would never be seen anywhere near here.

“By the way, Mistress?” Hua’s cheerful voice rang. “Since we’re going to be using his grave, shall I reserve another one for him?”

Jiangli frowned at this, but replied, “Yes, and I recall there being two empty graves right next to each other. Reserve those, so at least I’ll have a companion when I’m buried there.”

“You know it, Mistress! I’ll be right there!”

…

Leaving the slaughterhouse, the Witch wandered about the outskirts of town until dawn, bathed herself in the morning Sun, and returned to the city in his original form.

The sky gradually got brighter, and various civilians or students came and went. In the gentle breeze of the morning, steam from various hawkers permeated the air. The city was booming with activity.

Everyone had their own roles to play, and none of them had time to pay attention to the young man who sat by the corner of a porridge hawker by the end of the street.

Porridge topped with preserved eggs and lean meat was plopped onto his table, but Yibei’s gaze was still affixed onto his phone. He looked just like a juvenile, who just pulled off an all-nighter at the Internet café.

Reading the private message that Meow Xiaoqi sent, his father’s death was, indeed, not an accident, and it was caused by the Eclipse Society.

The Eclipse Society was targeting his father because he was escorting something important that very fateful day they were on the bus.

[VACCARIA: What was he escorting?]

Meow Xiaoqi informed that neither her nor the group chat’s informants know. She suggested that the fastest way to obtain this information is to establish an extensive, underground web on the urban legend forums by issuing hefty rewards, and using a large number of points or items equivalent in value in exchange from information.

Could it really be the Eclipse Society…

It all made sense to him – after seeing the Eclipse Society tattoo on the mysterious man’s back, he fell into a trance-like state. His brain must’ve erased the memory to protect him from further mental and emotional harm.

Even then, something’s missing…

I’m the one who claimed my father’s relics, and I burnt them all. I remember this very clearly. Plus, when the bus accident happened, my father had nothing but a change of clothes, his phone, and wallet. Nothing else. Did the Eclipse Society succeed in stealing the item? Nothing is missing, though.

Pondering for a moment, he typed a message to Meow Xiaoqi.

[VACCARIA: I thought you said you’ll send someone over to sign a contract of alliance with me, but it’s all radio silence on your end.]

He felt that he couldn’t fully trust the information given by them just yet.

[100 2/3 CATS: Our boss said that, in order to display our sincerity, they will visit you in person one day, and sign the contract on the spot. For now, sit back and relax!]

…What the fuck?

A strange, terrifying being who seems to be the leader, or… boss, overseeing a group chat of powerful urban legends and psychics… wants to meet up with me?

How the fuck am I supposed to relax?!

He suddenly felt a chill run down his spine, remembering the few years when he was a keyboard warrior online and would type beautiful words to get back at nasty netizens. Of course, who could resist the sheer serotonin of talking shit about people you’ll never meet anyways?

[VACCARIA: Online matters should be settled online, since all of you do your work online anyways. I don’t think there’s any need to meet in person.]

[100 2/3 CATS: You… literally asked to sign a contract in person.]

[VACCARIA: …oh.]

[VACCARIA: Can I choose our meeting place?]

[100 2/3 CATS is typing…]

[100 2/3 CATS: Our boss said it was okay. Go ahead.]

[VACCARIA: Cool! Let’s meet at the Huacheng Folk Culture Research Administration, right at the end of Peony Street.]

[100 2/3 CATS: ???]

[100 2/3 CATS: You’re not serious, right? I know what that place is! Are you trying to throw our boss in jail?!]

Yibei shrugged as he stared at his phone. I’m kidding! I swear! It’s just a joke!

Well, even if it was a joke, that’s the safest place I could think of!

[VACCARIA: How about Huacheng’s University of Science and Technology? We could meet at the library.]

If we can’t meet at the Night Division, then we’ll meet at a place with tons of people in broad daylight. With that many eyes around, they can’t pull off something funny, right?

[100 2/3 CATS: Okay.]

Yibei nodded to himself as he read the message, downloaded the appendix that Xiaoqi sent him, and ritualistically tapped on the [REPORT USER] and [BLOCK USER] button.

Even though he completed the review, he didn’t want her contact in his phone.

Tapping on the appendix, he carefully read through it, and had a preliminary understanding of how the urban legend chat group, and by extension, the forums, worked.

“Earn rewards by publishing bounties or commissions on psychics, humans, or urban legends. You can also publish bounties for fallen urban legends…” he murmured to himself as he scrolled through the appendix. “This is exactly like what Gu Qianqian told me about that little group chat of hers. The procedures seem quite formal, and they don’t seem all that dangerous.”

But where do they get their information from? How do you confirm that you have completed a commission?

He tapped on the link on the appendix, which brought him to a website. In an instant, his phone was plastered with a bunch of brightly-coloured ads, blinding text, and blasting with deafening music.

“The Macau Crown Casino is now online! Join us, and have a sexy, beautiful dealer deal your cards, mmph…!”

Fuck?!

He hurriedly turned off his phone and put it face down. When he looked up, he found that the entire restaurant was glancing at him with strange looks thanks to the lewd message that played out of his speakers.

Immediately, he stood up.

…

Three minutes later, he ran out of the porridge hawker store in despair, carrying a bag of breakfast for Jumeng.

On the way back to his apartment, he fished out his phone again.

With his experience of [Dad barges in while I watch a… film while hiding underneath my blanket], he left the website, looked left and right, mute his speakers, then opened the website once again.

Following the instructions in the appendix, he waited until a website disguised like small ads hovered over several other ads. Immediately, he could tell that it was the website mentioned in the appendix.

Dancing between the ads was a skull emoji, and he immediately tapped on it.

After the page loaded, he couldn’t help but be stunned – an orange and black colour scheme, with the structure of the web page… it resembled a certain website that starts with the letter ‘P’ and ends with a ‘B’…

No! I have no idea what website that is!

Scrolling through the website, he stopped at the column on the home page labelled with [RECENTLY COMPLETED BOUNTIES].

The bounty listings in the forum piqued his interest. Clicking onto it, the first commission was by an account with a garbled ID, and the commission was about hunting urban legends in the Southern Suburbs Slaughterhouse. The reward was an additional ten-year lifespan.

Reading the commission, his mind drifted towards the old woman who lived near the slaughterhouse.

The second commission listed was by an anonymous urban legend, and the commission was a bounty put on a man named Li.

He didn’t recognize the name, but he sure did recognize the face plastered on his screen currently. He was one of the two men who participated in the review last night.

“What the-?! He stole money via sexual, fraudulent crimes, posted indecent, perverted videos on the Internet, and forced a pregnant woman to commit suicide by jumping into a river?!”

Reading the reasons listed on why a bounty was put on Li, he couldn’t help but sigh.

He felt that this website was a little scary now. In fact, the statement of “I won’t let you go even if I die,” rang truer.

Most of these urban legends seemed to be newly-formed ones, and it is not easy to hunt somebody down under the protection of the Night Division.

And…

Although it was highly unlikely, he wonders if anybody would stumble into this website while searching for [Tutorials On How To Choke My Chicken].

Putting his phone away, he put his phone back up when he received a voice message from Professor Ma.

“Ahem! Lu Yibei, it’s been a while! What’s the progress on the essay I instructed you to do?”

“A-ah,” he tapped on the voice message button to reply. “I’ll give it to you in class tomorrow.”

Immediately, he sent a text to Jumeng.

[YIBEI: What the hell? What’s the progress on the essay I instructed you to do?]

[SMELLY GODDESS: I forgot! I was playing video games… (๑>؂)

[YIBEI: Are you fr rn?]

[SMELLY GODDESS: Next week! I promise you! It’ll be done!]

His eyes narrowed as he read her message. He excused himself into an alley, and fished through his pockets for the core of an urban legend, taking a few photos for Jumeng.

[YIBEI: What if… I give you this? (core.jpeg)]

[SMELLY GODDESS: …]

[SMELLY GODDESS: Give me an hour!]

[SMELLY GODDESS has switched their status to Do Not Disturb. They may not be able to reply to your message immediately.]

…I can’t believe we’re worshipping gods when gods are literally just like us. If I have enough cores on me, will she warm my bed?!

…

When he returned to the apartment with breakfast, he was greeted with the sight of Jumeng.

Instead of her usual, sloppy makeup, she seemed prim and proper, with a clean T-shirt and her emerald-like hair tied up into two buns. She donned a pair of glasses from god-knows-where as she sat cross-legged at the coffee table, staring at the computer screen as her fingers rapidly flew across the keyboard.

Yibei couldn’t help but get a little emotional seeing how focused she was on completing his work.

“Good job, party! We killed them in just one rotation!”

…?!

Jumeng looked up from her game screen and gave an awkward smile, “Hi! Your essay will be done right away, just you wait!”

Yibei sat down next to her at the coffee table, and peeped at the chatting software that was opened on another tab.

Beep!

“Why did an old man just send you a message?” he asked, frowning.

“You see, the thing is…” Jumeng scratched the back of her head. “I’m waiting for my people in the Garden of Peaches to send me their own little essays. Listen! Your essay is about the people of Dongyi, correct? A big part of Dongyi culture relates to me, so…”

“So?”

“…so, I asked each of my followers to write me a 500-word essay regarding the history of the Garden of Peaches, and surrounding areas as an offering to be bestowed to me. I’ll… sort them out later.”

…

He couldn’t believe it.

Professor Ma gave me homework, I gave my homework to you, and you gave my homework to your people… it’s giving Matryoshka dolls…

“Can these essays even be considered as sacrifices?” he asked, curious.

Jumeng glanced at Yibei, and waved her hands at him, shooing him away, “You’re not a god, so you won’t understand! Literally anything can be an offering – beer, sunflower seeds, melon seeds, small, portable fans, power banks…”

“Pause. You sound like a vendor of an all-purpose store by the side of the street.”

“And absolutely, I am,” Jumeng shrugged. “As long as I tell them to sacrifice something, they’ll do it without question.”

Score. I just obtained divine, mythical knowledge for free. Du Sixian, your time is coming!

“Wait, shit,” Yibei sat back down. “Could you, uh, ask your followers, or people, or whatever to attach a reference whenever possible. It’s an academic essay, so…”

“Bah. Small matter,” Jumeng smiled, typing up a new message.

[P.S.: Each reference made counts as an additional sacrifice to me!]

…something feels awfully weird about this.

TRANSLATOR NOTES:

Story Discussion: (potential spoilers?) I have a hunch that the ‘item’ Yibei’s father was escorting is… Yibei himself. It would make a lot of sense considering there seems to be weird time shenanigans going on in the story.

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