I Became a Witch in a World Full of Urban Legends

Silver light and golden lightning flashed on the slaughterhouse grounds, phasing towards the mud-like mass of flesh before them.

A fist imbued with the power of the Heavens and a broadsword imbued with moonlight struck and slashed at Levi’s putrid remains.

However, after a few seconds, it was as if the mass of flesh was brewing like stew, and a violent roar emanated from the mass.

Blood shot out like a geyser, morphing into rotten teratomas mid-air as it cursed and sizzled on the ground it fell upon.

Mosquitoes and flies grew and festered from the dirty mass of flesh, flying about in all directions like thick clouds of smoke.

Green flames spat out from the mass’ flesh, spreading rapidly across its disgusting, amorphous blob before its putrid body was burnt into a crisp, leaving nothing behind.

All it left behind was a charred outline of what it once was.

…

Jiangli and Zhang Dexian glanced at each other, as if they were asking each other: How the hell do we deal with this strange Witch with strange amplification powers?

And at the same time, their eyes drifted towards Lu Yibei, and they were visibly startled, not realizing that she had already stood up at some point.“Great job!” the Witch clapped expressionlessly, though with an excited tone. “Wonderful job! Amazing! We defeated the raid boss! What should we do now?”

“Weren’t you…” Jiangli muttered in surprise as the corner of her mouth twitched slightly.

“…immobilized? Paralyzed?” the Witch boasted. “Well, I’m fine as a feather now!”

“How did you recover your psychic energy so fast?” Zhang Dexian frowned.

“Bah, something about how humans are able to recover at different speeds. Am I not allowed to stand up? Should I go back to laying down?”

Lu Yibei turned around and cursed, Tsk! If it wasn’t for the both of you looking as if y’all wanted to get rid of me, I would’ve just laid down and rested for a bit!

Of course, the Witch was simply pretending to be drained of her psychic powers. Yes, it was consumed from her amplified fireball attack, though not to the point of immobilization. If she wanted to, she could easily fling out two more spells.

And nothing more than that. She took into account the psychic energy needed to power her (Imitation) Divine Horse Armor, and that in itself might only allow her to cast just one spell.

Hence, she allowed the two of them to deal with the remaining dregs of Levi.

Life is full of dangers! When I have help around, it makes sense for me to save my last-resort-ability for emergencies, right?

Plus! That disgusting blob… what if it faked its death? What if its blood corrupted me? Or what if it self-destructs and brings me down with it?

On the other hand, Jiangli stared at the stoic, young Witch before her, but hesitated to open her mouth: If she really is the Lu Yibei I know, it would be reasonable for her to exercise caution no matter the situation, but…

I still need further confirmation, she added in her heart.

Jiangli raised her eyebrows, stepping forward to talk with the Witch. At this moment, however, a cold, chaotic wave of psychic energy broke into her detection range.

She immediately brought her guard up, and glanced at the other two, who were also looking at the source of the psychic fluctuations. They could see a dark shadow flying from outside the slaughterhouse as they landed right in front of them.

The figure wore a large, black cloak, clipped together with a skull-emoji badge. A pair of furry cat ears could be seen underneath the cloak, and as the figure took off their hood, it revealed a cute looking cat girl who greeted them with a smile.

Seeing that the three of them were being cautious and defensive of her presence, she smiled once again, “Don’t be afraid, I’m not your enemy – my name is Meow Xiaoqi, and you can call me Xiaoqi. You may know me as the user [100 2/3 Cats]. Due to unforeseen circumstances, the review ends now. Congratulations for passing the review! We’re way ahead of schedule!”

Seeing the excited cat before them, Jiangli’s eyes trembled slightly. It’s her…

Lu Yibei stood aside and glanced at Xiaoqi, and her eyes pulsed with excitement. She wanted to ask her a long-awaited question, but Zhang Dexian, like a large iron tower, stood between her and the cat girl.

“Oh, so you’re the one who forced me into this fucking game of yours? Inviting me into your little group chat that I couldn’t even leave or report?” Zhang Dexian pointed an accusatory finger at Xiaoqi. “I’ve been tolerating this little game of yours for way too long, and…”

“Hey, hey, calm down,” Xiaoqi flashed a salesperson-like smile. “I know you’re excited, and I fully understand what you’re feeling, but the reason why we…”

“Actually,” Yibei whispered to Jiangli. “You can, in fact, report them. I did so multiple times.”

Xiaoqi’s ears twitched, and the memories of the group chat getting banned flooded into her brain. The corners of her mouth seemingly twitched for a moment, and she paused before continuing her explanation.

“We’re doing this for the confidentiality of our organization. You see…”

“You see, there’s a trick to reporting their group chat…” Yibei continued to whisper to Jiangli.

“…” Xiaoqi glared at the Witch, suppressing the anger in her heart. “This review is to verify your strength, and clearly, if you’re not strong enough…”

“And if you’re brave like me,” Yibei continued to whisper. “You can pester and annoy the admin of the group chat – look, I made more than 20 yuan by forwarding these ads to the group! And I get to report them after too! Wanna try?”

“Are you done yet?!”

“Tsk, we’re not talking about you!” Yibei pouted. “It’s rude to barge into our conversation!”

Yeah, right! I can literally hear you talking about me! Xiaoqi grumbled.

Jiangli allowed the Witch to yap on, glancing at how sincere and determined she was in taking down the group chat. Doubt casted itself onto her prying eyes.

…

Finally, the Witch stopped talking, and Xiaoqi could finally finish her explanation without getting interrupted.

“…well, that’s all I have to say about our group chat. Later, I will send all of you a private message, and provide a URL leading to our website, a.k.a., guaitan.com. Let’s all get along in the future! You may all leave the slaughterhouse grounds.”

Xiaoqi bowed to the three of them, turned around, and left into the shadows.

Yibei couldn’t help but frown watching her leave.

Our contract… will they send someone to me? I mean, she just left, but that’s good too – when you sign a contract, I must use my real name, but I’m still not sure if Mew Mew is Jiangli… what if she eavesdrops when I’m doing the oath to the contract? Is it over for me?

Thinking about it, she turned to the side, noticing that Mew Mew had been staring at her for the past minute. Her clear, glassy eyes were studying her, as if looking through her and prying open all the dirty little secrets hidden deep inside her heart.

“Ah, uh…” Yibei cleared her throat, avoiding Jiangli’s gaze. “It’s getting late, isn’t it? I think we should head back so we can get a good night’s sleep.”

She hurriedly turned around to leave, but a slender, fair hand placed itself firmly onto her shoulder.

Turning around, Yibei was greeted with that terrifying smile from hell once again.

“Don’t go. Let’s have a nice, long chat together.”

…

When Meow Xiaoqi found the lanky man by the bushes near the gate of the slaughterhouse, he had no recognizable human form.

He was like a puddle of blood-red pulp, and his clothes and body were torn into pieces. His barely visible head was covered with big bumps that resembled the markings of a crowbar, and his mouth was swollen as if he had just eaten spicy noodles.

His entire form was disfigured beyond recognition, and it was difficult to look at him.

“Meow! O-over here! B-by the bushes- ack!”

As he called out to her, a little blood sprayed out from the corner of his mouth.

“Oh my god,” the cat girl retched as she pushed aside the bushes. “What happened to you?”

“I got beaten up, genius!”

Xiaoqi was silent, but recalled what had happened earlier, “You know what? You deserve it for barking up the wrong tree.”

“What can I say? I am a simple man – any hole is a goal.”

“…”

“Well, is it over?” the lanky man sat up and asked.

“It’s over. It’s a pity that…”

Xiaoqi recalled her fight with Shu’e, and couldn’t help but get annoyed remembering how it ended.

It was true that Levi attempted to call upon the Eclipse Society to aid him in battle. However, Shu’e used this as an opportunity to save himself instead.

The fight between Shu’e and Xiaoqi was reaching its peak, with Xiaoqi clawing closer and closer to his heart. Sensing an escape opportunity, Shu’e broke free from the wall of bones, and exposed his Black Sun Totem tattoo on his back.

Immediately, the tattoo resonated and shook the forest clearing violently, and all that was left was the afterimage of Shu’e.

Xiaoqi tried to pounce on him, but the afterimage shattered into nothing.

“…he escaped?” the lanky man asked.

“Yeah.”

“Hey, we survived!” the lanky man tried cheering her up. “Remember what our boss said? We’re still in our infancy stage, so there is no way we can compete with behemoths like the Night Division and the Eclipse Society. No shame in losing, even though you didn’t exactly lose. By the way, could you lend me your phone?”

“What for?”

“Ah… you know… I need to search up some dirty stuff to recover, or…” the lanky man looked through his swollen eye sockets, caressing Xiaoqi’s thighs. “…you could let me pet your little kitty cat to speed up my healing process…”

“What the fuck? Why didn’t that rabbit lady just kill you and get rid of you?” she looked at him with disgust, tossing her mobile phone towards the lanky man before running away.

“Hey! Where are you going?”

“I’m heading back! We must inform that lady that Levi is dead! She spent so much money trying to get her revenge, and if we keep her waiting, she might just drop dead on her own!”

“And…” the cat girl continued. “I’m not staying her to watch you… D.I.Y. your healing process.”

What the hell? The lanky man thought to himself. Listen! As a state-of-the-art pornstar, I never chase for physical pleasure, rather, the artistic and aesthetic enrichment of bodies exchanging their energies with one another!

…

And thus, another night ends.

Everyone who participated in the review got the answers they wanted, and Xiaoqi will send a private message to them soon.

The Night Division will notice what happened at the slaughterhouse soon. It won’t be long until they send teams out to investigate this place. But that has nothing to do with me.

Lu Yibei wanted to leave this place as soon as possible. Lalalalala… I was never here, I don’t know anything…

“Hey! Lu Yibei, wait up! I’m talking to you!”

…is it over for me? Her heart tightened, but she continued to walk forward and ignore the sound coming from behind her.

Just as the two stepped out of the slaughterhouse, Jiangli hurriedly ran ahead of her, deliberately blocking her way by slamming her foot against the slaughterhouse gate.

“Ah, my bad. Were you talking to me earlier? I was thinking about some other stuff.”

“Well, I have some other stuff I would like to ask you.”

This Witch has the ability of amplification, with a lower limit of an amplification greater than zero but less than one, and an upper limit greater than fifty. She also cannot stop talking, and she have facial paralysis. What is the probability that she is Lu Yibei?

Jiangli’s answer was 90%. If only the Witch in front of her wasn’t a girl, and a strong one at that, she wouldn’t even have that remaining 10% of doubt.

With such obvious, defining characteristics, Yibei would always be the first to be caught as a criminal.

Of course, she couldn’t reveal her identity to her, and she couldn’t let anyone in the Night Division know she was here. The urban legend group chat must continue to exist.

It is a serious crime for Night Division members to participate in activities like this, but…

She needed more evidence to complete what she needed to do.

“Well, I guess we can talk…”

“Great. Are you Lu Yibei?”

…what the fuck?

Yibei was now 100% sure that the girl standing right in front of her is Jiangli.

She must be here for a reason. The Jiangli I know would’ve drawn out her sword and get rid of a Witch instantly, but she didn’t; she had many opportunities to do so in the slaughterhouse, but she didn’t. Plus, she decided to disguise herself as Mew Mew, which means she has a reason to conceal her identity.

I get it now! We’re in an acting competition, and I am the #1 Actress of Huacheng’s Kindergarten Drama Competition!

No matter what her reasons are, I just want to get by without being sent to the mental hospital…

“I don’t know who that is,” Yibei replied.

“Lu Yibei,” Jiangli said sternly. “He’s a member of the Night Division. A man, mind you, who cannot stop talking even if his life depended on it, with a face that cannot move. He is a scary man – I reckon that he has several murder cases tied to him too. Be careful if you know him.”

Jiangli seemed to put extra emphasis on the words ‘be careful.’

Okay, that is simply not true… I have never killed anybody, Yibei cursed. “Ah, Night Division, I know that place! I’ve been with somebody who works there, but I have no idea the person you’re talking about.”

“Ooh, ooh, and,” she continued. “I met two girls – one kind of looks like a mushroom, and the other… she was pretty, but she was lame! Can I leave yet?”

Yibei didn’t wait for her reply, tossing her guitar bag over her shoulder and walked out of the slaughterhouse.

Alright, she’s not chasing after me, which means she doesn’t intend on exposing me yet. If she doesn’t do it now, she won’t do it in the future either.

Yibei’s steps picked up paced, but came to an abrupt halt when Jiangli called out to her.

“Lu Yibei! I’ll gift you the full Bai Xiaohua Summer Celebration Swimsuit Figurine set if you come back! Do you want it?”

Yibei stiffened for a moment, and gritted out under her breath, Of course I do! Then, she bit her tongue hard, and continued to walk forward without answering Jiangli.

Watching the Witch leave, Jiangli’s eyes narrowed.

You’re determined, I’ll give you that.

Jiangli was about to give up, but the Witch suddenly turned around, and blurted out, “By the way, want to play mahjong together sometime?”

Jiangli was just about to answer with an enthusiastic “Okay!” but immediately bit the tip of her tongue.

The two of them looked at each other with silent understanding, as if they were telepathically telling each other, “I know who you are, and you know who I am. It’s good if we don’t tell anyone our secrets for the time being.”

Moreover, it was as if they were threatening each other with a silent, “If you tell anyone, you’re done for.”

After an intense, tacit staring competition, the two of them suddenly laughed.

Meanwhile, Zhang Dexian walked out of the slaughterhouse after reading Xiaoqi’s message and bandaging his wounds. Passing by the two girls, he felt a strange sensation creeping up his back.

Looking at them, his body trembled in fear, almost bursting open the wound he had just treated.

It was still dark at the slaughterhouse, and the two girls were ‘smiling’ at each other – one of them smiled like a stiff plaster statue, while the other one smiled like a demon crawling out from hell.

Christ! I thought there were still monsters lurking around… Zhang Dexian thought to himself.

TRANSLATOR NOTES:

What a satisfying ending to their secret identities! I’m glad it turned out this way instead of a dramatic one!

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