I'm an Unknown Actress, But Everyone Knows Me

“And then I said I wanted popcorn and you beat me up.”

A song about how everything would be alright played in the background.

“I don’t remember.”

“This is why only the person who gets hit ends up bitter.”

“Then you should forget it too.”

“You beat me a lot after that too, so it’s kinda blurry.”

Without saying anything, Han Yeoreum aggressively crunched on snacks. On the screen, the characters moved vibrantly. It was a world of dreams and hope.

“But what movie was it that rejected you?”

“It’s about a rabbit singer, and I was the younger sibling. A flying squirrel.”

“They probably realized you weren’t mentally qualified to be a younger sibling. Sounds like they’re good at their jobs.”

While exchanging meaningless nonsense like that, the two watched the movie.

“But why are we watching movies here? Couldn’t you just do this at home?”

“The professor said I need to watch a lot first before she’ll teach me.”

“If you got rejected once already, can you really get cast again?”

“That’s why we’re staying up all night watching stuff.”

Before they realized it, the brave little lion had returned to his homeland.

“No but seriously, hold on. Why exactly did you call me over here?”

“Go get some wet wipes.”

“How am I supposed to know where they are? This isn’t our house.... Just go wash your hands.”

“They’re right there. On the table. Go get them.”

Revenge succeeded. The lion happily became king of the jungle.

Han Yeoreum grabbed the remote.

“Okay. Next. Hurry up and tell me the ones you know.”

“If Dsney rejected you, shouldn’t you mostly watch Dsney stuff?”

The two of them watched movies all night.

In a warm house, under soft blankets.

Adding little comments toward the protagonists in every film.

Without worrying about anything.

Without flinching at the sound of doors opening.

Without feeling their hearts tighten in anxiety.

And like that, for the first time in a very long while, they watched the animated films they’d missed during childhood.

* * *

At dawn, when the sun was only faintly beginning to rise, Geum Bitgang opened her bedroom door and stepped out.

-“It’s Andy! Andy!”

The TV still played animation that nobody had turned off. The toys all pretended to be dead.

And on the floor lay Han Yeoreum under a warm blanket, while Han Taeyang slept beside her after having the blanket completely stolen away from him.

“....”

They looked impossibly peaceful.

Geum Bitgang quietly stared at Han Yeoreum.

An actor must, at some point, become the viewer.

Or the audience.

They had to understand with what emotions and mindset people watched the work in front of them. Only then could they perform ~Nоvеl𝕚ght~ in a way that truly reached people’s hearts.

So maybe it was late.

But Han Yeoreum needed to have that experience too.

No, Geum Bitgang wanted her to.

Crumbs from snacks clung to the lips of the Han Yeoreum who’d once said she’d desperately wanted to become an adult quickly.

To Geum Bitgang’s eyes, she still looked like a child with a very long way left to grow.

“Miiine....”

“Open your eyes properly before you eat.”

The two woke up around lunchtime, washed up, and immediately sat down to eat the black-bean-sauce noodles and sweet-and-sour pork Geum Bitgang had ordered for them.

Anyone looking at them would probably think of a peaceful family’s Sunday lunch.

“Here, you can have this. Onion.”

“Ah, fuck....”

“Then I’m taking all the pickled radish.”

“Do you have no conscience?”

After the two swollen-eyed siblings diligently finished eating their black-bean-sauce noodles, Geum Bitgang shoved a game console into Han Taeyang’s hands.

“Play.”

“...What?”

“I said play.”

It had apparently been delivered by express courier the day before, so it still looked brand new. Completely bewildered, Han Taeyang ended up sitting back down on the couch and being half-forced into gaming.

“How many movies did you watch yesterday?”

“About four.”

“Good. Now explain again exactly what mistake you made.”

At the dining table, Geum Bitgang and Han Yeoreum began analyzing animation dubbing.

“I think I shouldn’t have tried to make a child’s voice there.”

“Not ‘I think.’ That’s exactly right.”

Han Yeoreum had played child roles and teenage characters before, but she had never acted as an actual little child. By the time she seriously started acting, she had already been an adult.

But with dubbing — with voice alone — she could become a child, or anything else.

Which was precisely why tiny details completely changed the quality of the acting.

People misunderstood something when they thought about “child voices.”

Dubbing was not mere imitation.

“And when I dragged out the ends of my words, I stretched them too long.”

“Why?”

“When children get excited, or impatient because they can’t contain themselves, the endings of their words actually become shorter. If she’s giving examples to her older sister about what they should play, she should be eager to rush into the next thing... but I kept dragging the pitch out too long. I think it became a habit.”

You had to be a child, but not a child.

You had to imitate those unique speech habits and excited high tones, but still carefully control pronunciation and breathing.

Otherwise it became irritating to listen to.

Especially pronunciation.

“I raised my voice higher, so I tightened my throat here and used the roof of my mouth lightly... wasn’t that correct?”

“What’s a child’s body like?”

“Small....”

“Wrong. Short and thin. Their lung capacity isn’t even half an adult’s, but their abdominal elasticity is far better. Don’t tighten your vocal cords — tighten your stomach.”

Trying to imitate children by slurring pronunciation was the worst possible thing.

Because children were the audience, and because subtitles couldn’t be added to explain things, the diction had to be more precise than anyone else’s.

Children’s animation, where expressions and movements changed rapidly.

There wasn’t even time to stop and think about what a character had just said. The lines had to strike directly into the ears exactly as they were.

“Try it after me. Open your mouth wide.”

And that, above all else, was what Han Yeoreum excelled at.

* * *

“Talk faster. Increase the speed and pour the lines out. That way it’ll sound like a little kid pestering her older sister.”

“But wouldn’t that sound dizzying?”

“It fits better because this is an annoying nagging scene anyway. It also suits how children can’t control their emotions and become impatient.”

From Professor Geum Bitgang, I learned about the physical traits and speech habits of early childhood.

‘Children have shorter vocal cords, so their speech tends to trail off, and they can’t properly control sound with their diaphragm....’

I wasn’t just skimming through animations and copying “that character.”

I was learning how children of that age actually spoke.

While diligently receiving Geum Bitgang’s direction like that, I began to notice something strange.

“....”

Watching animation all night while eating snacks with Han Taeyang.

Sleeping in peacefully without anything happening.

Eating black-bean-sauce noodles for a late lunch.

Han Taeyang playing games while I sat at the living room table doing what felt like homework together with someone....

Had anything like this ever happened before?

Even searching through my memories, I couldn’t remember ever spending time this comfortably at home.

Even after it became just the two of us living together, we’d always been busy.

Because we had to become adults quickly.

I had to raise my grades without attending cram school, and if I wanted to attend acting academy, I needed to earn money too.

Once I finally registered for practical acting lessons, even my memories of how I lived after that became blurry.

Because there wouldn’t be another chance.

Because if I failed, then I was really finished.

I could hear Han Taeyang playing soccer games.

Goal!

A bright, refreshing kind of noise.

“Professor. When the movie comes out, I’ll send you invitation tickets, so please come watch it.”

“You got rejected, yet listen to you talk.”

“I’m going to win the role back.”

I gripped the 〈Funny Bunny Harmony〉 script in my hands.

I’m the one who has to do this.

“So please come. And next time there’s another fun animation movie, let’s go watch it together.”

“You used to say you hated them.”

I’m going to carve Han Yeoreum’s name beside Lala’s.

“I think I’m going to start liking them now.”

* * *

Noah had his eyes closed.

‘If only the world were a perfect vacuum....’

Unfortunately, that was impossible.

Even if he blocked his ears with headphones, he couldn’t block the sounds coming from his own body.

The sound of his heartbeat.

The noises of his stomach twisting.

The rustling of fabric when he shifted his body.

Every single one of those sounds made Noah sensitive.

Sometimes sounds became unbearably loud.

Sometimes they became unnaturally vivid.

On days when his eardrums burned so hot it felt like they’d go insane, he had to listen to something.

Noah’s Intube history was always filled with ASMR and classical music.

The sound of pages turning.

Brushes writing.

Lullabies.

Flute performances.

Then one day, among all those things, something unfamiliar appeared.

INTUBE

[Come li...sten...to... sticky summer ghost stor...ies... Han Yeoreum 〈Strange Tales〉 ASMR] 05:37

Noah disliked human voices.

No matter how gentle the ASMR was, there was always some point where it grated against his ears.

But for some reason, that day he clicked on the video.

And what he heard was—

-“That fear slowly devours the child. The agony of being trapped in an endless hell where no matter how loudly they scream, no parent comes to check on them steals away all hope.”

An unfamiliar language.

An unfamiliar voice.

And a moist, soft sound that seemed to wrap around his eardrums.

That night, Noah stayed awake replaying the voice from the video over and over.

Listening with his eyes closed.

Listening with them open.

Repeating it countless times.

The next day, Noah spoke to the person handling his work.

[Bring me the owner of this voice.]

And like that, Noah watched every drama, commercial, and movie Han Yeoreum appeared in.

Because he’d separately had edited versions prepared where every other person’s voice was muted out.

Only later did he realize the ASMR video had been saying extremely frightening things.

But it didn’t matter.

For the first time in his life, he had found a voice he liked.

Noah abruptly rose from his seat and walked toward the metronome.

Tick, tack, tick, tack, tick, tack....

Only once the steady rhythm filled the room did things finally become somewhat bearable.

The metronome’s pendulum always resembled Noah’s heartbeat — endlessly consistent.

Noah stared at the silent clock hanging on the wall.

‘Soon now.’

The senses throughout his entire body were rapidly awakening.

From far away, he could feel the presence of someone approaching.