After I Died, the Scumbag Went Mad

Chapter 209: Chapter 208: Asher Knows Cecilia Caldwell Doesn’t Love Him

”What do you think?” Felix Foster asked Asher.

Asher stood his ground, watching the direction in which Erin Whittaker had walked away.

I hid behind the door, my heart pounding with anxiety.

I don’t know why, but I was afraid Asher wouldn’t recognize me.

This feeling of being doubted, of not being acknowledged, truly made me panic.

I was terrified.

’So, is this how Asher felt? When I doubted and distrusted him, even when I misunderstood him...’

I looked down, nervously clasping my hands together, wondering how I could possibly explain things to make Asher believe me.

But I’ve really forgotten so much. I can’t remember him, and I can’t remember anything that happened at the orphanage. It’s just as Felix Foster said—I’m not smart enough, I’m stupid... I always cause trouble for everyone.

But I don’t know what I used to be like. I don’t even know as much about my past self as Erin Whittaker does.

I’m so scared.

”Are you even listening to me?” Felix Foster asked with a frown when Asher remained silent. ”It’s obvious that Erin Whittaker girl is more like her now.”

”Then maybe you should go eat shit and calm down,” Asher scoffed, cursing at Felix Foster.

”Sebastian Lancaster, cut the snide remarks!” Felix Foster said, getting angry.

”Don’t you think she’s Cecilia Caldwell? Then go after her. You know the old spot,” Asher said in a low voice, turning to leave.

But Felix Foster grabbed him, refusing to let it go. ”It’s not that I doubt your judgment. But look at the one inside. What part of her is anything like the person she used to be...”

”Heh...” Asher laughed. ”It’s because she *isn’t* like that anymore that it has to be her.”

”I think you’ve lost your mind,” Felix Foster said with a frown. ”You’re just a fool in love.”

”If she were the old Cecilia Caldwell, would she have come to us and revealed her identity so openly? Would she have made such a big scene here for everyone to know? Especially with you, an outsider, standing right here,” Asher said, not bothering to explain further to Felix Foster as he tried to go inside.

”What if she guessed that I...” Felix Foster started to say something else.

Asher cut him off impatiently. ”The moment she insisted on winning, she gave herself away.”

Asher had deliberately guided the conversation, knowing Erin Whittaker would slip up.

Erin Whittaker’s competitive nature is bone-deep. Even if Victor Quinn’s hypnosis was perfect, even if it made Erin herself believe she was Cecilia Caldwell, it would be useless.

A fake is a fake.

”Then why didn’t you say so earlier?” Felix Foster frowned, muttering under his breath. ”You’re making me look like an idiot.”

Asher pushed Felix Foster away. ”It’s not like you were smart to begin with.”

”Would it kill you to talk to me for a second?” Felix Foster, with his youthful stubbornness, insisted on pulling Asher back for a few more words. ”Are you planning to play along and use a honey trap on that Erin Whittaker?”

Asher shot Felix Foster a glare. ”I have to go comfort my wife.”

Felix Foster gasped. ”Am I just a part of your ’play’?”

”What kind of nonsense are you spouting?” Asher frowned, acting like he didn’t understand.

”It’s what all us young people say. You’re old,” Felix Foster said smugly, leaning against the wall.

Asher ignored him. When he came in, I was still hiding behind the door.

Obviously, I hadn’t heard any of their whispering.

I only caught Felix Foster mocking Asher for being old.

’How is he old? He’s clearly very handsome...’

I felt a little embarrassed and awkwardly averted my gaze. I’d actually started crying just because someone framed me.

My eyes must have been red.

Asher glanced at me and started to speak, but I cut him off. ”If you believe Erin Whittaker, I’ll leave right now.”

Asher’s gaze was deep. I didn’t dare to look at him, unable to read the changing emotions on his face.

”Go where?” he asked softly.

”It’s none of your business where I go. I’ll go wherever I want,” I said, feeling wronged. I pushed Asher away and started to limp off to pack my things.

’What’s the point of explaining.’

”What are you doing...” Just as I was about to leave, Asher grabbed my wrist.

Outside, Felix Foster tried to come in, but Asher kicked the door. It slammed shut with a BANG, locking Felix outside.

The atmosphere around him was heavy, and even I was startled.

”What are you trying to do...” I didn’t know what Asher was planning...

”I want to lock you up... Lock you in the basement, where only I know you exist,” Asher said, his voice hoarse as if he were suppressing his emotions.

He pinned me in a corner, his presence and his gaze darker than I had ever seen.

To be honest, an Asher like this scared me a little.

It reminded me of what my mom wrote in her journal—that he had imprisoned Cecilia Caldwell in the basement, locked her up, and abused her.

”You... you aren’t serious, are you?” I asked, trembling.

Asher reached out, pulled me into his arms, and sighed. ”Cece... I just want you to live an ordinary life, to have a friend like Madeline Quinn, a normal... husband, children, three meals a day... to be happy and safe.”

”No matter the cost...” Asher whispered.

’This must be Asher’s greatest wish.’

My heart inexplicably started to beat faster as I leaned against his chest, listening to the thumping of his heart.

I don’t know why, but I had a bad feeling. I felt that in Asher’s wish for me, there was no place for himself.

’He said he wants me to have an ordinary life, friends, a normal husband, children, three meals a day... He isn’t in that picture, is he?’

He’s always thought of himself as a monster, as someone who isn’t normal.

’Will he let me go in the future?’

’Or has he already planned out this so-called life for me?’

I felt a sudden pang of panic and subconsciously gripped Asher’s clothes. ”Don’t you disbelieve I’m Cecilia Caldwell? Don’t you have to be able to recite pi or something to be Cecilia Caldwell?”

Asher didn’t answer me, simply ruffling my hair.

Although it was just a simple, comforting gesture, it made me feel at ease.

But I felt so insecure. Lacking those memories made me afraid. ”You don’t have to pity me, and you don’t have to test me...”

I said stubbornly, afraid his current behavior was just another test.

Asher sighed in resignation. ”Isn’t your husband a genius? Why do you have so little faith in him...?”

I froze. It turned out my numb heart could still start beating again when I least expected it.

He looked down at my foot. I had taken a few angry steps earlier, and the wound had started bleeding a little.

His aura turned heavy again. He swept me up into his arms, and as he held me, I felt so light.

As if possessed, I poked the muscles on his arm.

’It’s probably not that I’m light, but that he’s just too strong.’

Between the ordeal with Erin Whittaker and the turmoil from the kidnapping, I was physically and mentally exhausted.

Not long after Asher placed me on the bed, I fell asleep.

That knockout drug was awful. My head throbbed terribly, and I drifted in and out of dreams in a groggy haze.

”She doesn’t have feelings. Even with amnesia, do you think she truly understands love?”

In a daze, I heard someone talking with Asher.

”Her feelings for Julian Fletcher didn’t seem like love either. It was more like a long-premeditated scheme, like she was destroying Julian in the cruelest way possible...”

The bullet from the gun she fired circled back and hit Julian Fletcher right between the eyes.

And Cecilia Caldwell was the one who started it all.

”She doesn’t love me...” Asher’s voice was a little hoarse.

’He’s so smart. How could he not be able to feel whether he’s loved or not?’

”She’s trying hard to find the feeling of love... stubbornly wanting to love,” Asher said softly.

”But maybe that’s for the best. In the future... if something happens to me, she’ll be able to accept it calmly.”