The Captain's Dirty Little Secret

Chapter 401: Chapter 401 - She Had Made It Here

The graduation program moved slowly at first, but Roxie barely noticed. She sat among rows of blue gowns with the sun warming the top of her cap while the principal welcomed the families packed into Briarwick’s bleachers.

Every few minutes someone behind the graduates shouted a name or waved until a teacher asked them to settle down, and even then the noise never completely disappeared. There was too much excitement inside the stadium for anybody to stay properly quiet.

Roxie kept looking around whenever the speeches lost her attention. Karen sat several seats away looking surprisingly awake after complaining all morning that graduation should legally include a nap.

Angela kept adjusting her cap even though nothing was wrong with it. Kendall sat farther down their row with the expression of someone already judging half the graduating class for sitting incorrectly.

Across the field, Roxie could see Zac with Mason, Dylan and Kyle.

He looked happy.

Earlier that morning she had caught herself thinking about the empty space his family would leave in the bleachers, and now that they were actually here, she could see it more clearly. Karen had both parents somewhere behind them. Roxie had her father, Cynthia and Jayson. Angela had family waiting for her.

Even people who spent the entire year complaining about their parents kept turning around to wave whenever someone called their names.

Nobody from the Prescott family was there for Zac.

Roxie tried not to keep checking his face because she knew he would notice eventually, but she wondered if it hurt.

It had to.

His relationship with them could be destroyed and he could still remember they were his parents. Graduation didn’t erase that.

Before Roxie could think about it longer, the principal announced the beginning of the senior awards and recognitions. Scholarships came first, followed by academic achievements, service awards and several honors Roxie had forgotten existed until that morning. The students clapped for one another, sometimes politely and sometimes loudly enough to make the teachers look irritated.

Then athletics began.

The football team immediately became more awake.

Mason sat straighter. Kyle cupped his hands around his mouth until a teacher looked at him warningly. Dylan leaned toward Zac and said something that made him laugh.

The principal went through several athletes first before reaching football.

”Briarwick High School would also like to recognize a senior whose final season established a new state championship passing record of four hundred thirty-eight yards, while leading the Ravens through one of the most successful seasons in school history.”

The reaction started before the name was even announced.

Mason was already on his feet.

Kyle shouted, ”Prescott!”

Students around them started clapping, and Roxie felt herself smiling before the principal finished.

”Zachary Prescott, recipient of an athletic scholarship to continue his football career in Tennessee.”

The stadium erupted.

It wasn’t polite graduation applause.

It was the sound Roxie remembered from Friday nights when Zac ran onto the field.

Mason yelled loud enough for several rows to hear him. Kyle was whistling with his fingers while Dylan grabbed Zac by the shoulders and shoved him toward the aisle. Other football players stood too, some shouting his last name while students in the bleachers joined them.

Roxie jumped to her feet.

”Zac!”

He looked toward her.

For the first time since the recognition started, his smile changed.

It became huge.

Bright.

Happy enough that Roxie forgot for a moment about the empty space where the Prescotts should have been.

Zac shook his head like they were all embarrassing him, but he was laughing when he walked toward the front. Coach Hayes was standing with the faculty, already clapping, and when Zac reached him, Hayes caught him by the shoulder before pulling him into a quick hug.

That somehow made the football team louder.

Roxie clapped until her palms hurt.

The record had come from a loss. She knew that mattered to Zac because she had been there afterward when the number meant nothing to him compared with the one yard he believed he had failed to get.

But that wasn’t how Briarwick remembered the season.

They remembered him bringing them there.

They remembered every Friday night he had given them something to scream about. They remembered the championship run, the records, the games and the boy who had carried the Ravens offense until his body barely had anything left to give.

Zac stood in front of all of them and finally seemed able to hear that without fighting it.

He accepted the award and shook the principal’s hand before looking toward the crowd.

For one brief second, Roxie wondered if he was searching the bleachers for people who weren’t there.

Then Mason screamed his name again.

Zac laughed.

Dylan was clapping above his head while Kyle shouted something Roxie couldn’t understand. Coach Hayes was smiling. Half the football team was standing.

And Roxie was still cheering.

Zac found her again.

She blew him a kiss.

He caught it against his chest with one hand before giving her a ridiculous little bow.

Roxie laughed.

Maybe he still felt the absence.

She probably would never know exactly how much.

But nobody looking at Zac in that moment could say he had nobody there for him.

He returned to his seat with Mason immediately grabbing the award from him to inspect it while Kyle slapped the back of his head. Dylan pulled him into another hug, and Zac shoved him away laughing before taking the award back.

Roxie smiled as she sat down again.

Karen leaned toward her. ”Your boyfriend is famous.”

”He’s unbearable enough already.”

”You screamed louder than the football team.”

”That’s impossible. I couldn’t possibly compete with Mason’s.”

The 3 of them laughed, looking at Mason who looks like he had enough energy and excitement for all of them.

The cheer recognition came later, and this time Angela became interested before the principal finished introducing it.

”Here we go,” she whispered. ”Our respectable contribution to society.”

Karen laughed.

Briarwick’s first national championship was announced to another round of applause, and the six graduating cheerleaders were asked to stand. Roxie rose with Kendall, Tori, Marissa, Karen and Angela while Coach Miller watched from the side of the field.

The championship still did something to her.

Maybe it always would.

That trophy was going to stay here.

Their picture was going to stay here.

Their names were going to stay here.

The six girls who had driven Coach Miller insane for years had left something permanent inside Briarwick.

Roxie looked toward Angela and found her smiling.

Karen looked proud too.

Even Kendall wasn’t pretending she didn’t care.

They sat again while individual recognitions were announced, and by the time Roxie’s name was called for her scholarship, outstanding leadership in cheerleading and her role as co-captain of the national championship team, she was already laughing because Karen had whispered that the committee clearly hadn’t done a background check.

Roxie walked toward the front carrying the strange feeling that this was becoming more real every time her name came through the speakers.

She heard Cynthia before she saw her.

”Roxie!”

Then Jayson joined in.

Her father stood beside them clapping.

The sight almost stopped her.

Mr. Robinson had one hand raised, his expression proud enough that Roxie felt something tighten in her chest.

She smiled at him.

Then she looked toward Zac.

He was standing.

Mason had apparently decided standing was contagious because he was up too, with Dylan and Kyle beside him. Zac was clapping while staring directly at her, his award resting on his chair behind him.

Roxie laughed.

She had never imagined this.

That thought followed her as she accepted the recognition and returned to her seat.

She had imagined escaping Briarwick several times.

She had imagined leaving town.

She had imagined someday becoming somebody nobody could connect to Claire Jones or the bungalow or every rumor that had followed Roxie through the school.

She had never imagined leaving while people were standing and cheering for her.

The actual presentation of graduates started after the remaining awards, and suddenly the entire mood inside the stadium changed. Students who had spent most of the program whispering stopped talking as the first rows began standing.

This was the part everybody had come for.

Names.

Diplomas.

The walk across the front.

The moment after four years when Briarwick finally said they were finished.

Roxie felt her stomach tighten.

Karen’s surname put her among the first of their group.

When her row was called, Karen stood and smoothed the front of her gown. Roxie watched her take a breath before joining the line, and for a moment the hospital returned so clearly that Roxie could almost hear the monitors again.

She pushed the memory away.

Karen was here.

That was enough.

”Bianchi, Karen.”

Karen walked forward.

Her mother’s voice came from the bleachers immediately, followed by applause from somewhere near her father. Angela started cheering. Roxie joined her while Karen crossed the front of the stadium with the irritated dignity of someone pretending this wasn’t emotional at all.

She accepted her diploma.

The photographer stopped her.

Karen smiled.

A week ago, she had nearly died alone inside her car.

Today both of her parents were watching her graduate.

Roxie’s eyes burned.

Karen returned to her seat later and caught her wiping beneath one eye.

”Seriously?”

Roxie laughed. ”Shut up.”

”You’re becoming Angela.”

Angela leaned forward. ”Excuse me?”

Karen smiled. ”You heard me.”

The names continued.

Roxie thought she would get used to the rhythm, but every familiar name made the ending feel closer.

Then came Angela.

”Hart, Angela.”

Angela froze for the smallest moment before stepping forward.

Roxie knew why.

There were hundreds of eyes on her.

Angela had spent months hating that feeling.

People inside Briarwick had seen part of her body because Bianca had taken away her choice. Students had whispered, stared and looked at her differently after the pictures spread, and Angela still had days when Roxie could tell she was fighting herself just to keep her shoulders straight.

Today everyone was looking again.

But this time Angela had chosen to walk in front of them.

Roxie stood.

”Angela!”

Karen immediately joined her.

Angela looked toward them halfway to the front.

Her nervous expression broke.

She laughed.

Then she kept walking.

She accepted her diploma with her head high and turned toward the photographer with a smile Roxie knew was real.

Karen whistled.

Roxie clapped until Angela walked back toward their section shaking her head.

When Angela finally reached them, Roxie leaned over.

”You looked hot. I bet Caleb’s eating his heart out.”

”I hope so.” She grinned though there’s sadness in her eyes that made Roxie want to slap herself for even reminding her.

Roxie squeezed her hand before letting go.

More names followed until the announcer reached the J’s.

Roxie’s heart started pounding.

She had been fine all morning.

Fine through the pictures.

Fine through Coach Miller getting emotional.

Fine through her awards.

Even fine watching Karen and Angela walk.

Now her hands started shaking.

Angela noticed. ”You okay?”

Roxie nodded automatically.

Karen leaned closer. ”Liar.”

”I’m fine.”

Her row was called.

Roxie stood.

Her legs felt weird.

She smoothed her gown even though there was nothing wrong with it and joined the line with the other graduates.

Every step forward made something tighten inside her chest.

She looked toward the bleachers.

Her father was there.

Cynthia.

Jayson.

She looked toward Coach Miller.

Then toward Karen and Angela.

Zac had already turned around in his seat.

He smiled when their eyes met.

Roxie swallowed.

She never thought this would happen.

The thought came so clearly that it almost scared her.

There had been years when finishing high school had seemed like something that belonged to other people. Kids whose parents checked their grades. Kids who had money for school activities without calculating which bill would have to wait. Kids who went home knowing somebody would be there sober enough to remember what happened that day.

Roxie had learned to keep herself moving.

Get to school.

Get through practice.

Go to work.

Pay what needed paying.

Deal with Claire.

Ignore the rumors.

Keep her grades good enough.

Keep smiling.

Keep going.

And somehow all those ordinary days had added up until there were only a few students between Roxie and the front of the stadium.

Her vision blurred.

Shit.

She blinked quickly.

The girl ahead of her walked.

Then another.

Roxie heard Karen shouting before her name was even called.

The announcer looked down at the program.

”Jones, Roxxane.”

The stadium disappeared beneath the sound.

Karen screamed.

Angela screamed louder.

Coach Miller was clapping.

Jayson was yelling her name from the bleachers while Cynthia stood beside him crying.

Mr. Robinson was standing.

Then Roxie heard Zac.

”ROXIE!”

She looked toward him.

Zac was on his feet with both hands around his mouth while Mason, Dylan and Kyle shouted beside him.

Roxie started crying.

She couldn’t stop it.

A laugh came out with the tears because this was ridiculous. She was walking across graduation crying in front of half of Briarwick after spending years refusing to let these people see her break.

For once she didn’t care.

She walked toward the front while wiping beneath her eyes carefully enough to save whatever remained of the makeup she had spent so long perfecting that morning.

Everyone was watching.

Let them.

Roxie smiled through the tears.

She was graduating.

After everything, she was actually getting out of Briarwick.

The thought made her unbelievably happy.

It also scared the hell out of her.

Because this time leaving wasn’t some fantasy she used when life felt unbearable.

She was really leaving.

Soon there would be no Briarwick High to come back to every morning. No Coach Miller blowing a whistle at her. No Karen sitting beside her at lunch complaining about somebody. No Angela showing up with gossip. No Kendall rolling her eyes across practice because Roxie breathed incorrectly.

She wouldn’t drive the same roads every day.

She wouldn’t wake up in the bungalow forever.

College was coming.

Tennessee was coming.

Zac was going with her, and that made the future feel exciting enough that she had spent months looking forward to it.

But standing there now, Roxie finally understood that choosing something new meant leaving something behind.

Her friends weren’t coming with her.

Coach Miller wasn’t coming.

The school she had spent years wanting to escape was suddenly full of things she was going to miss.

Her chest hurt with it.

She reached the front.

The principal handed her the diploma and congratulated her.

Roxie thanked him through a laugh that sounded embarrassingly close to another sob.

The photographer called her attention.

Roxie turned.

She was still crying.

She smiled anyway.

No perfect picture.

No carefully controlled version of Roxxane Jones.

Just her.

Happy.

Terrified.

Proud.

Ready.

Maybe.

The camera flashed.

Roxie walked away from the front and heard her friends still cheering. By the time Roxie returned to her seat, Angela was crying too.

Karen looked between them. ”Great. Now there are two of you.”

Roxie laughed and wiped her cheeks. ”Fuck you.”

”You’re crying in public.”

”I graduated.”

”We all did.”

”I never thought I would.”

The words quieted Karen.

Roxie looked down at the diploma in her hands.

”I really didn’t.”

Karen’s expression softened.

Angela reached over and squeezed Roxie’s fingers.

For a few seconds the three of them sat there quietly while the next names were called.

Then Karen cleared her throat. ”If we keep doing this, my makeup is going to get ruined.”

Roxie laughed.

Angela sniffed. ”Yours survived a hospital. It’ll survive graduation.”

”That was terrible.”

”I learned from you.”

The ceremony continued.

When the announcer eventually reached the W’s, Roxie immediately straightened.

”Whitmore, Kendall.”

Roxie was on her feet before she even thought about it.

”Kendall!”

Kendall turned her head sharply toward them.

Karen started laughing.

Roxie cupped her hands around her mouth. ”DON’T TRIP!”

Kendall gave her the finger without breaking stride.

The seniors around them laughed.

Coach Miller covered his face.

Roxie laughed so hard fresh tears came out.

Kendall accepted her diploma with the same perfect posture she brought to every competition and returned looking deeply offended by the entire section.

Kendall rolled her eyes, but this time Roxie saw the smile clearly.

Eventually the last graduate crossed, and when the principal returned to the microphone, the entire graduating class started shifting before he even finished speaking. Teachers tried to quiet them, but nobody was listening anymore. Four years had come down to this.

Roxie looked at the diploma resting in her lap.

It had taken four years to get that piece of paper, but when she thought about everything inside those years, graduating suddenly felt bigger than she knew how to explain. Claire. The bungalow. Working because she needed money. Cheer practice. Football games. Every rumor she once thought would ruin her life. Karen almost dying a week before this. Angela learning to walk through school with her head up again. Coach Miller refusing to give up on any of them. Nationals.

Zac.

She looked across the rows and found him already looking at her.

He smiled.

Roxie smiled back even as her eyes started burning again.

She had spent so many years wanting to leave Briarwick. She used to think getting out would feel simple. She would graduate, leave town and finally start the life she wanted.

Now Tennessee was real. College was real. Leaving Karen and Angela was real. Waking up somewhere other than the bungalow was real.

It scared her.

But underneath that fear was something stronger.

She had made it here.

The principal raised his voice over the growing noise.

”It is my honor to present the graduating class of Briarwick High School.”

The stadium erupted.

Karen screamed beside her. Angela grabbed Roxie’s arm, already crying again. Across the rows, Mason and Kyle were yelling while Dylan slapped Zac on the back, and Zac stood with everyone else before shouting Roxie’s name across the field.

Roxie laughed through the tears.

Karen grabbed her cap. ”Come on!”

Roxie caught it before she could steal it, laughing as she stood with the rest of their class.

For one last moment, she looked around Briarwick’s stadium.

Then Roxie lifted her cap.

Then hundreds of them flew into the air.

She threw hers as high as she could and watched it disappear among the others while the stadium filled with screaming, laughter and applause.

Roxie laughed harder, tears still running down her face.

She had spent years dreaming about getting out of Briarwick.

She finally had.