The Captain's Dirty Little Secret

Chapter 402: Chapter 402 - Their New Life Had Started

Tennessee still felt too big.

Roxie had been walking around campus for almost forty minutes with the map on her phone open even though she had already passed the same fountain twice. The buildings looked different enough when she stood directly in front of them, but from a distance half of them seemed to blend together into brick walls, wide steps and students moving in every direction like they had been doing this for years.

She stopped near a shaded walkway and looked back at the building she had just left.

”Okay. So that’s the library.”

A girl sitting nearby glanced at her.

Roxie ignored her and looked at her phone again.

She had found the student center, the library, two of the buildings where her classes would be held and the coffee shop Zac had already declared overpriced after buying from it twice. The campus was larger than Briarwick had ever felt, which was strange because Briarwick had once seemed enormous to her.

Now she could walk through an entire crowd without recognizing a single face.

Nobody turned because they knew Claire.

Nobody whispered because they knew what drama she’s in right now.

Nobody cared who she dated, what she had done at school or what somebody had posted about her months ago.

Most of them had no idea who Roxxane Jones was.

Roxie liked that more than she expected.

She continued walking toward the athletic facilities, although Zac had already told her three times that practice would probably run long. His morning had started before hers, with conditioning, meetings and whatever else the football staff had planned for the incoming players.

He had left their apartment before Roxie was fully awake and sent her a picture from the locker room twenty minutes later. Dylan had been in the background too, already dressed for training and looking annoyingly awake.

Roxie had sent back one message.

You all look terrible.

Zac had replied almost immediately.

Miss you too.

She smiled just thinking about it.

The apartment still barely looked lived in. Half their boxes remained unopened, Roxie’s clothes were taking over the bedroom faster than Zac expected and the kitchen already had more equipment than furniture because Zac apparently considered three knives, two pans and a rice cooker more urgent than buying another chair.

They had been in Tennessee long enough for Roxie to understand where the grocery store was and short enough that she still sometimes woke up expecting to see the bungalow.

That part felt strange.

She had spent years wanting to leave Briarwick, and then one morning she had actually done it.

There hadn’t been some huge dramatic moment when they crossed out of town. The road simply kept going. Briarwick got smaller behind them, then disappeared, and eventually Roxie realized she was too far away to turn around just because she forgot something.

Her phone started ringing before she reached the athletic complex.

Karen.

Roxie answered immediately. ”You alive?”

”Unfortunately.”

Roxie smiled. ”Good morning to you too.”

”It is not a good morning. My mother woke me up at seven.”

”That’s normal.”

”Exactly. Disgusting.”

Roxie laughed and moved toward a bench beneath a tree. ”Why seven?”

There was a short pause on Karen’s side before she answered.

”I’m going in tomorrow.”

Roxie stopped walking.

She knew what Karen meant before she explained it.

Her mother had been researching programs since before graduation. Karen had resisted most of them at first, especially anything that sounded like somebody was going to control where she went, what she did or whether she could leave whenever she wanted.

Apparently that argument was over.

”For rehab?”

”Treatment,” Karen corrected. ”Apparently they like that word better.”

”How long?”

Karen made a frustrated sound. ”They keep saying it depends on me, which is therapist language for nobody wants to answer the fucking question.”

Roxie sat down.

Karen continued before she could respond. ”It’s residential at first. Then maybe outpatient if they think I’m behaving. There are groups. Counseling. Medical stuff. Some family sessions that I already hate and haven’t even attended.”

Roxie smiled slightly because she sounded exactly like herself.

”How do you feel?”

”Like I’m being imprisoned by people with degrees.”

”Karen.”

”I know.”

The joke disappeared from her voice.

Roxie waited.

Karen exhaled slowly. ”I know I need to go.”

That was probably the closest Karen would get to saying she was scared unless Roxie forced it out of her, and right now she didn’t want to.

”Okay.”

”That’s all?”

”What do you want me to say?”

”I expected crying.”

”I can still do that.”

”Please don’t.”

Roxie laughed, but something heavy had already settled in her stomach. She looked around the campus again at students moving past with backpacks and iced drinks while Karen sat hundreds of miles away preparing to enter rehab.

”I should’ve stayed longer.”

Karen groaned immediately. ”Absolutely not.”

”I could’ve waited until you went in.”

”And done what? Held my hand while I complained?”

”Yes.”

”You’d make it worse.”

Roxie frowned. ”Fuck you.”

Karen laughed. ”Roxie, you moved for college. You were always moving. Me almost killing myself does not mean everybody else has to stop their life.”

The bluntness made Roxie’s stomach twist.

”Can you stop saying it like that?”

”Fine. My heart throwing a dramatic tantrum.”

”That’s worse.”

”I’m trying.”

Roxie smiled despite herself.

Karen became quieter again. ”My mom’s coming with me tomorrow.”

”What about your dad?”

”He wants to come. I told him he can if he wants.”

That surprised Roxie enough that she stayed quiet for a moment.

Karen noticed. ”Don’t make it a thing.”

”I wasn’t.”

”You were about to.”

”I was thinking.”

”Same thing.”

Roxie laughed. ”I’m proud of you.”

Karen went silent.

Roxie immediately knew she had pushed too far.

”Okay, forget I said that.”

”No.”

The answer came softer than she expected.

Karen cleared her throat. ”Just don’t say it again. It’s weird.”

”Fine.”

”Good.”

Roxie leaned back against the bench. ”Call me before you go in.”

”I will.”

”And if they let you have your phone.”

”They do eventually. There are rules.”

”That sounds dangerous for everyone working there.”

”I already warned my mother.”

Roxie laughed again.

Karen asked about Tennessee after that, and the conversation slowly became normal. Roxie complained about the size of campus, Karen told her she had the navigation skills of a drunk toddler and Roxie reminded her that comparison was probably inappropriate given current circumstances.

Karen laughed hard enough that her mother apparently asked what was happening in the background.

Before hanging up, Karen became quiet again.

”You’re okay there?”

Roxie looked around.

Students passed beneath the trees. Somewhere farther away a whistle blew from the athletic fields. The air was hotter than she expected, and her feet already hurt because she had chosen the wrong shoes for exploring campus.

Still, she smiled.

”Yeah. I think I am.”

”Good.”

The call ended a few minutes later.

Roxie stared at her phone for a moment before opening their group chat.

Angela had sent six pictures from New York.

The first was a crowded street.

The second was a building.

The third was another building that looked almost exactly like the second.

The fourth was food.

The fifth was Angela making a face beside a subway entrance.

The sixth was a blurry picture of somebody Roxie didn’t know.

Roxie called her.

Angela answered on the third ring. ”Finally.”

”You sent me six pictures with zero explanation.”

”Use context clues.”

”One is literally a wall.”

”It’s my building.”

”You couldn’t take a picture of the whole thing?”

”There were people.”

”You’re in New York. There are always people.”

Angela ignored that. ”How’s Tennessee?”

”Big.”

”That’s your review?”

”I’ve gotten lost twice.”

”Of course you have.”

Roxie smiled and started walking again.

Angela had arrived in New York the day before, and hearing traffic behind her made the distance between them suddenly feel real. At Briarwick, Roxie could call Angela and know she was probably ten minutes away. Now Karen was preparing for rehab, Angela was in New York and Roxie was wandering around a Tennessee campus while Zac practiced football somewhere behind a fence.

Graduation had scattered them quickly.

”How are you?” Roxie asked.

Angela hesitated.

”Good.”

Roxie smiled. ”That sounded convincing.”

”I am good. I’m also terrified.”

”There it is.”

Angela laughed. ”There are so many people here, Roxie.”

”You wanted New York.”

”I know. And I wanted at least Karen by my side. That doesn’t mean I expected every human being in America to be standing on the same sidewalk.”

Roxie laughed loudly enough that a student walking past looked toward her.

Angela continued talking about the apartment, her plans and everything she still needed to buy. She sounded excited underneath the nerves, and Roxie could hear something else too.

Relief.

New York didn’t know Angela Hart either.

The thought made Roxie smile.

”How does it feel?” she asked.

”What?”

”Being somewhere nobody knows.”

Angela became quiet for a moment.

”Good.”

Roxie understood immediately.

Angela continued, ”Nobody looks at me like they know something.”

That hurt more than Roxie expected.

”Yeah.”

”I keep waiting for it. Like somebody’s going to recognize me or whisper or look at their phone, and then I remember nobody here gives a shit about Briarwick.”

Roxie looked around campus.

”Same.”

Angela laughed quietly. ”We spent so long thinking that place was the entire world.”

”And now nobody knows who the fuck we are.”

”Exactly.”

Roxie smiled. ”I kind of love it.”

”Me too.”

They talked for another ten minutes before Angela had to leave. Roxie made her promise to call Karen before she went into treatment, and Angela immediately said she already planned to annoy her all night.

After hanging up, Roxie continued toward the athletic facilities.

The football fields were visible now. She could hear whistles, coaches shouting and the occasional burst of players yelling at one another. A few students stood near the fence watching, but Roxie stayed farther back because Zac had already warned her that the coaches hated distractions during practice.

She could barely tell which one was him from this distance.

Then somebody broke away from a group near the sideline and Roxie recognized the movement immediately.

Zac.

She smiled.

He looked tired even from where she stood.

Practice continued for another twenty minutes before players finally started leaving the field in groups. Roxie watched them come through the gate until she finally spotted Zac with Dylan walking beside him, both of them sweaty and carrying their bags over one shoulder.

Zac saw her almost immediately.

His face changed when their eyes met, and Roxie smiled as he broke away from Dylan and walked toward her.

”You got lost.”

”I did not.”

”You texted me asking where the science building was.”

”That doesn’t mean I was lost.”

”You were standing beside it.”

Roxie frowned. ”How do you know that?”

”You sent me a picture.”

She stared at him until Zac laughed and reached for her hand.

”You’re an asshole.”

”You love me.”

”Unfortunately.”

He kissed the side of her head before taking the campus map from her other hand. ”You actually printed this?”

”It came with orientation stuff.”

”You have maps on your phone.”

”This one doesn’t die when my battery does.”

Zac folded it and handed it back. ”Old woman.”

Roxie shoved his shoulder just as Dylan caught up to them.

”You survived campus?” he asked.

”Barely.”

Dylan laughed. ”It gets easier.”

”Everybody keeps saying that.”

”It does.”

He shifted his bag higher on his shoulder before looking at Zac. ”I’m heading back. I’ll text you about tomorrow.”

”Okay.”

Dylan lifted one hand toward Roxie. ”Later.”

”Bye.”

He walked off toward the residence buildings, and Roxie barely gave the exchange another thought. Dylan had been around Zac almost every day since they arrived because of football, so seeing him after practice already felt normal.

Zac took her hand again and started walking with her toward the center of campus.

”How was practice?”

”Hell.”

”That good?”

”My legs are dead.”

”You said that yesterday.”

”They recovered so they could die again.”

Roxie laughed.

He asked what she had done while he was training, and she told him about finding her buildings before mentioning Karen.

Zac’s expression changed immediately.

”She’s going?”

”Tomorrow.”

”That’s good.”

”Yeah.”

Roxie looked ahead at the students crossing between buildings.

”She sounds scared.”

”So are you.”

Roxie glanced at him. ”About what?”

”All of this.”

She almost denied it.

Instead she looked around campus.

”Maybe.”

Zac squeezed her hand.

Roxie told him about Angela next, including the pictures of New York and the wall Angela apparently expected them to recognize as her apartment building.

Zac laughed.

”They’re really gone.”

He looked at her. ”Who?”

”Karen’s going into treatment. Angela’s in New York. We’re here.”

Zac nodded.

”It happened fast.”

”Graduation was like five minutes ago.”

”It feels longer.”

Roxie leaned slightly against his arm as they walked.

She had expected leaving Briarwick to feel like freedom, and it did. Nobody here knew the things she had spent years trying to outrun. Nobody looked at her and saw Claire first. Nobody knew about the bungalow unless Roxie told them. Nobody knew the rumors.

But freedom had another side she hadn’t understood until now.

The people who knew everything about her weren’t here either.

Karen wasn’t waiting at lunch.

Angela wasn’t a hallway away.

Coach Miller couldn’t call practice.

Briarwick was gone from her daily life.

Roxie looked at Zac.

He was the one familiar thing she had brought with her.

That thought should probably have scared her more than it did.

Instead, she smiled.

”What?”

”Nothing.”

Zac narrowed his eyes. ”That usually means something.”

Roxie wrapped both hands around his arm and leaned into him.

”I’m just glad you’re here.”

His expression softened.

”Me too.”

They kept walking through campus while Zac pointed out the athletic buildings he had already memorized and Roxie corrected him when he confidently gave her the wrong direction to the student center.

Tennessee still felt huge.

College still scared her.

Karen was going into rehab tomorrow. Angela was beginning a life in New York. Briarwick was hundreds of miles behind her, and Roxie had no idea what any of them would look like a year from now.

For once, she didn’t need to know.

Zac’s hand was warm around hers as they crossed the campus together, and for now that was enough.

They were here.

Their new life had started.