The Captain's Dirty Little Secret

Chapter 407: Chapter 407 - Somewhere Quiet

By the time Roxie landed, Karen had been gone for almost seven hours.

Her mother had sent several updates while Roxie was in the air, and none of them helped. Karen’s father was still driving around Briarwick. Police had checked the places they thought she might go, her aunt had heard nothing and Karen’s phone remained off.

Seven hours was a long time to disappear when everyone knew what Karen was capable of doing to herself.

Roxie had spent most of the flight trying to keep her mind away from that thought. She had watched half a movie without knowing what happened, checked the flight map enough times to annoy herself and kept opening Karen’s conversation even though she knew there would be no new message while her phone was in airplane mode.

The moment she landed and turned it back on, messages flooded the screen.

Angela had asked three times if there was news.

Zac had apparently spent most of the flight checking whether Roxie had landed.

His last message made her pause while she walked through the terminal.

Dylan said I’m pacing like an idiot.

Roxie stared at Dylan’s name for a moment before continuing toward the exit. She was not really angry with him. Even during their argument, she understood what he was saying about Zac missing conditioning because she had been telling Zac the same thing before Dylan started talking.

He just irritated her.

Maybe it was because he kept looking at her while complaining about a decision Zac had made himself. Maybe it was the way he made Zac wanting to come with her sound like something Roxie had caused even after she repeatedly told Zac to stay.

She knew Dylan cared about football and probably thought he was protecting his best friend from screwing up an opportunity, but something about the way he went about it still rubbed her wrong.

It could wait.

Karen mattered more.

Roxie answered Zac.

Landed. Still nothing.

She spotted Karen’s mother near the curb almost immediately, and whatever Roxie had expected to feel seeing her disappeared.

The woman looked awful.

Her hair had been pulled back without much care, her clothes were wrinkled and her eyes were swollen and red. Roxie had seen Karen’s mother upset before, but this was different. She looked like somebody who had spent seven hours waiting for the worst phone call of her life.

The second she saw Roxie, her face crumpled slightly.

She came forward and hugged her.

Roxie hugged her back harder than she expected to.

For a moment neither of them said anything.

Seeing Karen’s mother like this made the whole thing feel more real than it had on the plane. Karen was still missing. Nobody had found her. Roxie had crossed back into Briarwick and there was still no guarantee that this ended with Karen yelling at all of them for overreacting.

When they pulled apart, Roxie immediately searched her face.

”Anything?”

Karen’s mother shook her head.

”Nothing.”

Roxie’s stomach sank even though she had known that from the messages.

They got into the car, and Roxie placed her bag near her feet while Karen’s mother pulled away from the airport. She explained everything that happened while Roxie had been flying. Karen’s father had checked the house again, several places near River Road and some people Karen had spent time with before treatment. Police had contacted others. Nobody had seen her.

Every time Karen’s mother mentioned another place, Roxie mentally crossed it off.

The list kept getting longer.

The possibilities kept getting worse.

A few minutes passed before Karen’s mother glanced toward her.

”I’ll pay you back for the ticket.”

Roxie frowned. ”What?”

”Your flight. Tell me how much it was.”

”No. Karen is my friend.”

”I know, but you booked it at the last minute. I’m paying you back.”

”You really don’t have to.”

”I want to.”

”I have money.”

”I know.”

Something in the way she said it stopped Roxie from answering immediately.

Karen’s mother was gripping the steering wheel tightly, staring straight ahead. She looked exhausted and scared, but underneath that Roxie could see the guilt.

Roxie knew the ticket was irrelevant. She would have bought another one tomorrow if Karen needed her.

But this was not really about the money.

Karen’s mother needed to do something.

There was almost nothing she could control right now, and apparently paying Roxie back was one of the few things she could.

Roxie understood that feeling too well to take it away from her.

”Okay,” she said.

Karen’s mother finally looked at her. ”Okay?”

”Yeah. You can pay me back.”

Her shoulders relaxed slightly.

”Thank you.”

Roxie nodded and turned toward the window.

Briarwick had started appearing around them.

That affected her more than she expected.

The same stores were still there. The same intersections. The same gas stations and roads she knew well enough that she could tell where they were going without looking at a sign.

She had only been gone a little over a week.

That was nothing.

But she had left Briarwick believing the next time she came back would be planned. A holiday maybe. Visiting Karen after treatment. Seeing people when college gave her time.

She had never imagined getting on a plane barely a week later because Karen had disappeared.

Tennessee suddenly felt very far away.

Their apartment.

Zac.

Her course booklet still sitting open on the dining table.

The ridiculous rug she wanted.

The new life she had barely started.

And here she was again, watching Briarwick pass outside the window because somebody she loved might be in trouble.

Karen’s mother glanced at her. ”Where do you think she would go?”

Roxie looked back toward the road.

”I don’t know.”

”She talks to you more than she talks to us.”

”That doesn’t mean she tells me everything.”

The words came out more defensive than Roxie intended because a small part of her had already started blaming herself for that exact thing.

Karen had been struggling for months before any of them fully understood how bad it was.

What else had she missed?

Karen’s mother seemed to understand because she only said, ”I know.”

Roxie picked up her phone again.

Still nothing.

She hated how much fear could fit inside that empty screen.

”What happened in the session?” she asked.

Karen’s mother went quiet.

”Her father and I argued.”

”About what?”

”He said I should have noticed the drinking sooner. I told him he wasn’t around enough to notice anything. Karen told us to stop, but we kept going. The counselor tried to calm everybody down.”

Roxie closed her eyes briefly.

She could already picture Karen sitting there while her parents argued about whose fault her life was.

”What did she say?”

”She said she was tired of us turning everything into whose fault it was. She said she was the one who drank and took the pill, and somehow we still managed to make the session about ourselves.”

That sounded exactly like Karen.

Roxie could practically hear the irritation in her voice.

”She walked out after that?”

”Yes. They thought she needed a few minutes to calm down.”

”And then she was gone.”

Karen’s mother nodded.

Roxie looked at the phone in her hand again.

Nothing.

She went through names in her head, trying to think of anyone Karen might contact when she wanted to avoid her parents.

Mason.

Roxie hesitated.

She had no idea how much he and Karen had talked since graduation, but Karen had gotten close enough to him that ignoring the possibility felt stupid.

She called.

Mason answered after several rings.

”Roxie?”

”Hey. Have you talked to Karen today?”

There was a pause.

”No. Why?”

”She left treatment this morning. Nobody knows where she is.”

His voice changed immediately.

”What do you mean she left?”

”She walked out after family therapy. Her phone’s off. We’ve been trying to find her for hours.”

”Shit.”

Roxie leaned back against the seat. ”She didn’t call you?”

”No.”

”Message?”

”No.”

There was something strange in his voice.

Roxie frowned.

”When was the last time you talked to her?”

Mason took a moment before answering.

”Graduation.”

Roxie blinked. ”Seriously?”

”Yeah.”

The answer sounded strained enough that Roxie knew there was something behind it.

Normally she would have asked.

Karen had apparently gone from being close enough to Mason that Roxie thought he might know where she was to barely speaking to him since graduation, and nobody had mentioned it.

Another thing Karen had apparently kept to herself.

Roxie felt a brief sting of irritation at that too, followed immediately by guilt because Karen was still missing and Roxie was mentally keeping score of things she had failed to tell them.

Whatever happened with Mason could wait.

”If she contacts you, call me.”

”I will.”

”Thanks.”

”Roxie?”

”Yeah?”

”I hope you find her.”

The strain was still there, but the concern sounded real.

”So do I.”

She ended the call.

Karen’s mother glanced over. ”Nothing?”

”No. He hasn’t talked to her since graduation.”

Her mother looked surprised too.

Roxie stared at Mason’s name on the screen for another moment before locking her phone.

One problem at a time.

”Take me to your house first.”

”Why?”

”I’m calling Ethan.”

Roxie barely put her bag inside before finding his number.

Her finger hovered over his name for a second.

She had only been gone a week, but calling somebody from Briarwick already felt strangely like reaching backward into a life she had just stepped out of.

Then she remembered why she was calling and pressed it.

Ethan answered on the second ring.

”Hey.”

Hearing his voice made something loosen slightly inside her. Familiar. Normal. For a moment it sounded like any other day back home.

Then Roxie remembered that nothing about today was normal.

”Are you busy?”

”That depends.”

”Karen disappeared from treatment.”

The lightness immediately disappeared from his voice.

”What?”

”She walked out this morning. Her phone’s off and nobody knows where she is. I just flew back.”

There was a pause.

”You flew back?”

”Yeah.”

”From Tennessee?”

”Yes, Ethan.”

Another pause followed, but this one felt different.

”Roxie, is she in danger?”

The question made her chest tighten.

”I don’t know.”

That was the first time she had actually said it out loud.

Roxie sat down on the edge of a chair.

”You need help looking?”

”Yes.”

”What do you need?”

”Your bike.”

There was the smallest pause.

”My bike?”

”And you.”

”Okay. Where are you?”

No joke this time.

Roxie gave him the address.

”I’m coming.”

When she heard the motorcycle outside less than twenty minutes later, Roxie was already heading toward the door.

Seeing Ethan affected her more than she expected.

He pulled up looking exactly the same as when she left Briarwick. Same bike. Same familiar way he removed his helmet. Same person she had spent months seeing around town without thinking much about it.

Roxie suddenly became aware that she was the one who had changed locations.

A week ago, she belonged here too.

Now Ethan looked like somebody from home.

That realization was strange enough that she stood there for a moment before walking toward him.

Ethan looked at her, and whatever he had been about to say disappeared.

”You look exhausted.”

”I am.”

He studied her face. ”You really flew all the way back.”

”She’s missing.” She blinked. For some reason that simple response almost made her emotional. ”The first place is River Road.”

Ethan’s expression changed.

Roxie held onto him as the motorcycle carried them through streets she had known almost her entire life. The wind made conversation impossible, which she was grateful for because the closer they got to River Road, the worse her stomach felt.

She had told herself she wanted to check it because it was obvious.

That was only partly true.

She needed to see Karen absent from that place.

When Ethan finally slowed near the lookout, Roxie’s fingers tightened around him.

The last time she had come looking for Karen there, she had found her inside a car barely responding.

For several seconds Roxie stayed seated even after Ethan stopped.

”You okay?” he asked.

”Yeah.”

She got off.

Her eyes immediately went to the parked cars.

Every shape inside one made her heart jump until she got close enough to see that Karen was not there.

She walked farther along the road, checking places that made no logical sense because fear did not care about logic anymore.

Nothing.

When she returned to the motorcycle, Ethan was watching her.

”She’s not here.”

Roxie did not know whether she was telling him or herself.

Ethan nodded. ”Where next?”

They searched a gas station Karen used to stop at, then a small park, a convenience store and another place near her aunt’s neighborhood. Karen’s mother continued sending updates about locations other people had already checked, while Angela kept asking whether Roxie had found anything.

Every place they left empty gave Roxie relief for about five seconds.

Then the fear returned because Karen still had to be somewhere.

They had been riding around long enough that Roxie’s legs were starting to ache when Ethan pulled into another parking lot.

Roxie removed the helmet and checked her phone.

Nothing.

Again.

She stared at Karen’s unanswered messages until the words blurred slightly.

Ethan leaned against the bike. ”Where next?”

”I don’t know.”

That answer scared her more now than it had earlier.

”Who else does she hang out with?”

”Everyone already called them.”

”Family?”

”Checked.”

”Places she goes alone?”

”That’s what I’m trying to remember.”

Ethan watched her for a moment. ”You know her. I don’t.”

Roxie rubbed both hands over her face.

”I’m clearly doing a great job.”

”I wasn’t insulting you.”

She looked at him.

”Okay. Maybe a little.”

Normally she would have said something back.

Instead she looked down at her phone again.

Ethan’s expression softened. ”We’ll keep looking.”

Roxie nodded.

They left again.

As the streets passed, Roxie stopped trying to think about places connected to Karen’s drinking and started thinking about Karen herself.

Karen after practice.

Karen showing up because she was bored.

Karen lying across Roxie’s couch and complaining about whatever happened that day.

Karen coming over when being around her own family became unbearable.

Roxie suddenly froze.

Her arms tightened around Ethan.

”My house.”

He slowed immediately. ”What?”

”My house. Go to my house.”

”You think she’s there?”

Roxie stared ahead as the realization hit properly.

Karen had a key.

She had given it to her days ago, right before Karen went into treatment. Roxie had told her she could use the bungalow whenever she missed her or needed somewhere quiet.

At the time Roxie had barely thought about it. She was moving to Tennessee, the bungalow would be sitting empty and Karen had spent enough time there that giving her access seemed normal.

Roxie had completely forgotten.

”She has a key.”

Ethan changed direction immediately.

Roxie felt stupid for never thinking about it sooner.

She had literally told Karen she could go there when she missed her.

The closer they got, the harder Roxie’s heart beat.

When the bungalow finally came into view, it looked completely empty.

Dark windows.

Closed curtains.

No car.

Nothing moved.

Ethan parked near the curb and shut off the motorcycle.

Roxie removed her helmet but stayed there for a moment, staring.

Coming back to Briarwick had felt strange.

Seeing Ethan had felt strange.

Seeing the bungalow was worse.

She had only left it days ago, yet she had already started thinking about it as somewhere she used to live.

Now she was standing in front of it because Karen might be inside.

”Want me to come?” Ethan asked.

Roxie swallowed.

”Wait here.”

She handed him the helmet and crossed the yard.

Each step toward the porch made her more certain and more afraid at the same time.

If Karen was inside, Roxie had found her.

If Karen was inside and refused to answer...

Roxie stopped that thought before it finished.

She climbed the steps.

Her heart was beating hard enough that she could feel it in her throat when she reached for the door.