Who Let Him Play Yugioh? (Re-Upload)

”According to Mystic Piper’s effect, since I drew a Level 1 monster, I drew another card from my deck.”

Kira drew a card, then revealed another one from his hand.

”Spell Card: Hidden Armory!” Kira announced. ”I send the top card of my deck to the graveyard, then add an Equip Spell from my deck or graveyard to my hand.”

He drew the top card, glanced at it, then sent it to the graveyard. The duel disk automatically retrieved a card from his deck, which he took into his hand. The deck shuffled itself.

”I add the Equip Spell ’Wonder Wand’ from my deck to my hand.”

”Searching for an Equip Spell...” Tomoki still couldn’t figure out what Kira was doing, but said, ”Even if I don’t know your plan, you should know: as long as ’Metalsilver Armor’ is on the field, you can’t target any monster except ’Skull Archfiend of Lightning’ with effects.

That includes your own monsters, so even if you want to use Equip Spells, you can’t.”

”Yare yare~, that’s a real headache,” Kira acted troubled. ”No wonder you’re a pro—you summoned such powerful monsters so quickly, and even sealed off my own effects.”

”Exactly. This means I’ve locked down your options as much as possible. Too bad—after searching for an Equip, you can’t even use it,” Tomoki said proudly.

”True. Well, I have no choice but to do this.”

Kira sighed, slowly pulling out a card as if forced into a desperate move.

”Then, I tribute both of your monsters, ’Summoned Skull’ and ’Skull Archfiend of Lightning’, to Special Summon this powerful Level 8 monster to your field in Defense Position!

Awakened from the lava of the abyss, with the power of destruction and rebirth—

—Level 8, Lava Golem!”

Tomoki: ”What the heck?!”

Next, he watched in shock as both of his powerful demons melted into the ground in a surge of lava, bubbling away. Then, a giant hand reached out from the magma, and a burning giant slowly pulled itself out, like a red-hot iron cage trapping Tomoki on his own field.

The burning giant rose up, turned its head, and seemed to meet his gaze—with what looked like a goofy grin on its abstract face.

It seemed to say, ”Hello, nice to meet you.”

[Lava Golem, DEF 2500]

Staring at this big goofball, Tomoki felt disoriented.

Wait a minute...

His invincible demon lock... broken just like that?

What’s worse, after Lava Golem took its place, it opened its mouth and burped out a puff of hot air, like it was burping after a big meal.

After eating two high-level fiends in one go, the iron golem contentedly patted its belly, as if saying ”Thanks for the meal.”

Tomoki: ”...”

”Now, since its equip target is gone, ’Metalsilver Armor’ is destroyed,” Kira smiled. ”With that, the target lock is lifted.

Now, I activate the effect of Jester Confit in my hand—it can be Special Summoned in Attack Position directly from my hand.”

[Jester Confit, ATK 0]

”I equip the Equip Spell ’Wonder Wand’ to my Spellcaster-type ’Jester Confit’. Its ATK increases by 500.” Kira continued, ”But Wonder Wand also lets me send both the Equip and the monster to the graveyard to draw two cards.”

Tomoki frowned.

He was more convinced than ever: this guy was definitely searching for something.

”Quick-Play Spell—’The Flute of Summoning Kuriboh’!” Kira declared. ”I Special Summon this card from my deck—

—Come forth, Winged Kuriboh!”

[Winged Kuriboh, ATK 300]

Tomoki’s heart was unmoved.

Oh, Kuriboh?

And then what? Are you going to kill me with Kuriboh?

He was calm now.

Even though losing his two ace monsters had rattled him, he still had a monster on the field with stats equivalent to Blue-Eyes White Dragon. Kuriboh was nothing but a weakling.

”I equip ’Opti-Camouflage Armor’, which can only be equipped to Level 1 monsters,” Kira revealed another Equip. ”The equipped monster can attack directly.”

”Hmm?” Tomoki was still puzzled.

Oh, a direct attack, so impressive.

But with just 300 ATK, wouldn’t that be more humiliating than damaging?

”Under the cover of ’Opti-Camouflage Armor,’ Winged Kuriboh attacks directly!” said Kira.

Tomoki sneered: ”Heh, that’s only 300 points.”

”At this moment, I activate the Quick-Play Spell ’Berserker Crush’!” Kira declared. ”Banish 1 monster from your graveyard, then target 1 ”Winged Kuriboh” you control; that target’s ATK/DEF become equal to the ATK/DEF of the monster that was banished, until the end of this turn..”

”What?!”

Tomoki’s eyes widened.

That’s right, last turn, Magical Merchant dumped seven monsters into the grave...

”I banish ’Silent Magician LV8’ from my graveyard. Until the end of the turn, Winged Kuriboh’s stats become the same as Silent Magician—3500 ATK!”

[Winged Kuriboh, ATK 300 → ATK 3500]

”3500 attack?!” Tomoki’s face twisted.

Are you kidding me?

A Kuriboh with 3500 ATK and a direct attack!?

Winged Kuriboh: ”Kuri kuri!”

Kira didn’t know what it meant, but he felt Kuriboh was right.

Winged Kuriboh, cloaked in camouflage, flapped its wings and boldly flew right over Lava Golem’s head. Lava Golem covered its eyes with its massive hands as if to say, ”I can’t see, I can’t see.”

”Don’t underestimate a pro!” Tomoki shouted. ”I activate my Set card, Trap Card ’Defense Draw’! During your opponent’s turn, at damage calculation: Make the battle damage you take from this battle 0, and if you do, draw 1 card.”

Winged Kuriboh’s powerful headbutt crashed into a transparent barrier but to no avail. It dejectedly ”kuri’d” twice and fluttered back to Kira.

Tomoki wiped the sweat from his brow.

Damn it, that was close—almost got taken out by a Kuriboh headbutt.

If he really lost to Kuriboh, his pro career would end before it even started. It’d be a lifetime of shame.

”That was close, what a shame,” Mokuba added.

A Kuriboh one-punch KO would have been awesome.

”I Set a card to my back row,” Kira said. ”Turn end.”

”Berserker Crush’s effect ends; your Kuriboh returns to normal ATK,” Tomoki reminded him.

[Winged Kuriboh, ATK 3500 → ATK 300]

A 300-ATK weakling left on the field, practically begging to be bullied. Tomoki’s face darkened with a cold smile.

Almost suffered the humiliation of being killed by Kuriboh—he’d make up for it this turn, with interest!

”My turn, draw!”

”Standby Phase, Lava Golem’s effect,” Kira said. ”The controller takes 1000 damage.”

Tomoki: ”Ugh...”

[Tomoki, LP 4000 → LP 3000]

In his iron cage, it was like a pile of crap dropped on his head. Tomoki grunted.

If that Kuriboh attack had gone through last turn, and then he took Lava Golem’s burn, he’d be done for.

”It’s a scary combo, but it still looks like I have the upper hand,” Tomoki said. ”Switch Lava Golem to Attack Position!

Die by your own monster’s hand!”

He waved his hand.

”Lava Golem, attack Winged Kuriboh!”

Lava Golem had a terrifying 3000 ATK; Winged Kuriboh only 300—a tenfold difference. Kira had only 1500 LP left; this punch would end the duel.

Tomoki’s eyes gleamed: ”I win!”

But he didn’t even realize that his attitude had changed from ”easy win” to ”I must destroy this guy.”

He was getting way too into it.

”You gotta stay calm, Mr. Professional. If you lose your head this easily, you’ll pay for it in the pro circuit,” Kira said, shaking his head with a serious tone.

Tomoki: ”?”

Wait, who’s the pro here?

Why are you lecturing me all of a sudden?

”I activate my Set card, Quick-Play Spell ’Transcendent Wings’.” Kira declared. ”I discard two cards to evolve Winged Kuriboh into ’Winged Kuriboh LV10’.”

Transcendent Wings, the rare Kuriboh card. The original went to Jaden at Duel Academy, but Kira got another in his Kaiba Corp Kuriboh deck.

Bathed in holy light, Winged Kuriboh rapidly evolved, spreading magnificent angelic wings.

[Winged Kuriboh LV10, ATK 300]

”It evolved straight to Level 10?!” Tomoki felt a sense of doom. ”But even as Level 10, it only has 300 ATK...”

”LV10’s effect,” Kira smiled, ”During your Battle Phase, I tribute it to destroy all your Attack Position monsters, and you take damage equal to their total ATK.”

Tomoki’s brain froze for several seconds.

All his Attack Position monsters... which means...

He instinctively looked at the big goofball. Lava Golem looked down at him and even pointed at itself as if to say, ”Yup, me.”

[Lava Golem, ATK 3000]

[Tomoki, LP 3000]

Tomoki: ”...”

The genius pro rookie almost laughed in frustration.

Burned for 1000 in Standby, now Lava Golem has exactly 3000 ATK.

A perfect 4000 damage OTK—no more, no less, just enough to kill him. Not a single point wasted.

”Winged Kuriboh LV10, activate effect!” Kira said. ”I tribute it to destroy Lava Golem, and you take damage equal to its ATK—3000!”

Winged Kuriboh vanished in a burst of golden light, followed by Lava Golem’s explosion. The molten giant burst apart, burning Tomoki and his iron cage to ashes.

When his LP hit zero and he was logged out of the virtual arena, Tomoki looked up and let out a long breath.

He started to wonder if the pro world was just too cruel for him.

Maybe he wasn’t cut out for dueling after all.

[Tomoki, LP 3000 → LP 0]