I Became a Witch in a World Full of Urban Legends

After an unknown period of unconsciousness, Fang Ji finally awoke. His head, still encased in the pumpkin, felt heavy and dull, and a faint ache permeated his limbs and bones. 

It felt as if he’d been tossed into a blender and given a spin. His clothes were soaked through with some unknown liquid, clinging to his skin with a sticky, unpleasant sensation. 

He opened his eyes to see a cement wall stained black by oil grime, and a small patch of sky beyond. Dark clouds gathered densely in the sky; the city lights scattered against the low, leaden cloud cover, tinting them with a faint, crimson blush. 

The air carried the stench of blood and the strange odor of rotting food. Nocturnal creatures scurried through the shadows, their furtive movements creating rustling sounds. 

In his daze, Fang Ji thought he was still in Qianqiu Town, that everything he’d just experienced was nothing but a fleeting dream before death. 

However, the reflection in the mirror-like puddles on the ground—a neon sign reading “Shizhou Jianghu Cuisine”—reminded him that he had long since left that chaotic town and was now in some dark corner of Shizhou City. 

Supporting himself against the wall with one hand, he tried to stand. But the moment he twisted his body slightly, a violent pain shot through his waist, nearly causing him to black out again. Instinctively, he reached back to touch the painful spot, and his heart clenched instantly.

 He felt a protrusion on his lower back. In that split second, much like when he recalled information about the Paper Cicada Immortal, a term flashed through his mind—spondylolisthesis. 

Commonly known as a dislocated spine! Injured? How did this happen? Fang Ji slumped back onto the ground. The pain from his dislocated spine sharpened his thoughts somewhat, and he gradually began to remember what he had just experienced. 

Waiting for Miss Wang, the streetlight arm crashing down, the car accident, slamming into the road sign, and then… lots of vegetables? Images flickered through Fang Ji’s mind, yet he felt no surprise at his predicament. It was as if, deep in his subconscious, he believed that such extreme misfortune was just as commonplace as his previous extreme luck. Then, he remembered the scene he glimpsed before losing consciousness. Right, that man from earlier! Perhaps he could ask him for help? Thinking this, Fang Ji strained to turn his heavy head and look beside him. 

He saw a damaged folding fan. Its deformed white paper was soaked and rotted by the filthy water, transforming into a pale, viscous, paste-like substance with an uncanny vitality. 

The moment he looked at the damaged folding fan, a bizarre thought suddenly arose in Fang Ji’s mind. The fan was watching him, greedily, maliciously watching him, coveting his flesh and blood. If the fan were some sort of living creature, he had no doubt it would pounce in the next instant and tear out his throat. 

He was puzzled why he would have such a strange thought. It was just a folding fan, in some sense, just like common daily items—bowls, chopsticks, paper, pens, phones—an “object,” and a damaged one at that. The fan covering was torn, the ribs broken. An object meant for human use, not a bloodthirsty beast; how could it hunt humans? 

Fang Ji thought. Just as no one would imagine their pillow biting their head off in the dead of night, he found it hard to picture an “object” “killing” a person. The next moment, a soft sound, like an animal gnawing on bone, arose without warning, as if refuting Fang Ji’s foolish notion, telling him that sometimes, objects do hunt humans. For instance, right now… “Crack, crunch, crackle!” The hair-raising sound echoed in the dark alley, repeating monotonously. 

Following the sound, Fang Ji’s gaze slowly shifted upward, and he finally noticed the man holding the fan. Seeing the man, Fang Ji was surprised to find his attention had initially been fixated entirely on the folding fan, completely overlooking this man, drenched in blood and whose life or death was unknown. 

It was as if the folding fan was the main entity, and the man was merely an ornament attached to it. The man sat slumped against the wall, a small portion of his body hidden behind a trash can, his face obscured. His arms hung limply, except for the hand gripping the folding fan, which was clenched tight and deathly still. 

The strange sound Fang Ji heard was coming from inside that arm clutching the fan. Yes, inside the arm! Through his psychic perception, he could clearly feel that something now resided within the man’s arm. 

The thing didn’t move, yet Fang Ji sensed it gnawing, growing, screaming silently. Stillness and motion were fused in this extremely bizarre way, creating an inexplicable, creeping horror. A long, tense dozen seconds passed. With a muffled “Splurt!”—the sound of tearing flesh and blood—the scene before his eyes was as if an invisible hand had reached into Fang Ji’s body and violently flipped some deadly switch, detonating the tension. 

Something suddenly unfurled inside the man’s arm, stretching the skin until it was just a thin membrane, making his arm look like an open human-skin folding fan. The ambient psychic energy in the air trembled slightly, perhaps from excitement, or perhaps fear. 

“!!!” Fang Ji stared wide-eyed at the man, not even daring to breathe, his throat slowly constricting. For the first time, he felt genuinely unlucky, and a sliver of fear crept in. 

It was the primal fear of living things towards cold material, similar to the vague unease many feel upon seeing a sharp blade. However, the agonized struggle and pitiful screams he anticipated did not come. The man remained motionless, slumped there. If not for the faint, mosquito-like groan, Fang Ji would have thought it was just a corpse. 

After a brief silence, the hair-raising light cracking sound came again. The difference this time was that the source of the sound had moved from the man’s arm to his chest. “Crack, crunch, crackle!” 

Each sound was like the ‘tick’ of a bomb that could explode at any moment, hammering Fang Ji’s heart. In this state of high tension, he “recalled” a flood of information. 

For some unknown reason, the man was undergoing a haunting transformation… Newly formed hauntings mostly have chaotic consciousness and quickly become hungry… 

If he didn’t find a way to save himself soon, he might become the man’s first meal after the transformation! Amidst his frantic thoughts, Fang Ji gritted his teeth against the pain and searched his own body frantically with his hands. The moment his fingertips touched the cold casing of his phone, his body trembled slightly. 

Having just witnessed an “object” hunting a human, an imperceptible shadow had fallen over his heart, making him hesitate briefly before pulling out the phone. Successfully unlocking the screen, a look of joy appeared on his face. 

After a series of catastrophic accidents, the phone was miraculously completely intact? Truly, heaven never bars one’s way! Fang Ji thought, fumbling urgently to unlock the screen, opening a Certain Penguin Chat App, and quickly sending a distress message to “Calamity.”

—

Moyue Pifeng. After Lin Nian left, Lu Yibei stayed for nearly another hour. During this time, she contacted roughly five information brokers. Although she failed to gather any other clues about Hu Chuan, she learned another crucial piece of information—the price for the kind of intelligence she sought at Moyue Pifeng typically fluctuated between 10 to 15 grams of gold. Meaning, the discounted price Lin Nian mentioned was actually still considerably higher than the average. 

Upon learning this key information, Lu Yibei momentarily considered asking the haunting chat group for help to track down Lin Nian and then show that girl what “cyberbullying” truly meant. Using her charm ability combined with Meng’s dream-entry ability, making her experience an immersive 

“Attack on Gu Qianqian” scenario wouldn’t be a problem at all. But on second thought, since Lin Nian was the only one at Moyue Pifeng who had provided her with useful information, she let it go. Exclusive intelligence, slightly more expensive, was reasonable. Exiting the haunting chat group and closing the Certain Penguin Chat App, Lu Yibei looked around and sighed silently. 

It seemed unlikely anyone else would approach her for a deal soon. Staying any longer would just be a waste of time.

Rather than that, it would be better to find somewhere safe and hidden, go meet the old ancestor, and tell him about what she had discovered today while exploring the Great Pure Palace, as well as the changes that had taken place there.

Oh, right—while she was at it, she also had to ask the old ancestor what exactly he had done to the Mountain-Guarding Divine Beast to make such an enormous divine beast act so weirdly doglike.

Thinking this, Lu Yibei put away her phone and was just about to leave when her phone suddenly buzzed twice. She unlocked the screen and glanced at it. It was a message from “A Little Hamster.”

A Little Hamster: “Hello, Miss Guide. I need your help right now!”

Lu Yibei pondered for a moment, then typed a reply: “Hello. May I ask what I can help you with? Could you please describe the situation in detail?”

If it was something easy, she would help out a little and build trust. If it was too troublesome or too dangerous…

Then she would just find a few words to fob her off!

These days, what kind of customer service didn’t fob people off? The ones that didn’t were all online scammers! Lu Yibei thought to herself in secret.

A Little Hamster: “Uh, here’s the thing. I was just in a car accident, got a little hurt, and can’t move. There’s a not-quite-normal person next to me right now. I might die at his hands.”

Lu Yibei: “???”

What the hell was this?

In simple terms, she had only just accepted the mission not long ago, and someone was already trying to kill her?

Was it really that dangerous?

Good thing I was smart and didn’t accept that damn bounty mission. Otherwise, wouldn’t I be the one getting hunted down right now?

Holding her phone, Lu Yibei sank into a brief silence.

Hmm…

How should she reply so that she didn’t have to help, but could still keep that guy motivated?

Ah, got it!

Something suddenly occurred to Lu Yibei. Her eyes lit up slightly, and she lowered her head to start editing a message.

————

Calamity: “Dear user, hello. In view of the fact that the assistance you require is not part of the necessary procedure for the bounty mission, and is excessively difficult, I am temporarily unable to provide you with help.”

Fang Ji waited in anxious panic for a moment. Seeing that the mission guide, Miss Calamity, had finally responded, he hurriedly typed a message and asked: “Huh!? Then what should I do? I’m really in danger right now!”

“Buzz, buzz—!”

The phone vibrated softly. Fang Ji hurriedly glanced at it, and his face turned blue-white.

Calamity: “Dear user, although I am temporarily unable to provide you with assistance, please do not worry. You only need to forward the content I am about to send you and collect likes and assist clicks from ten friends to obtain one lottery draw chance. The draw has an extremely high probability of awarding one support voucher. Would you like to participate?”

Fang Ji secretly glanced at the man, swallowed hard, and replied without the slightest hesitation: “I’ll participate, I’ll participate!”

When it came to lotteries, his luck was excellent. There definitely wouldn’t be a problem!

Calamity: “Very well. The content you need to forward is: [O Fruit Once Born of the Fusang Divine Tree, King of Ten Thousand Magpies, Struggler Who Refutes Misfortune with Money, Sovereign of the Eight-Hundred-Li Peachland, Master of Marriage and Progeny, Exalted Being Who Benefits the People through the Virtue of Wood, your subject Jin Yecheng prays for your protection.]”

After reading the reply, Fang Ji immediately copied the text and reposted it as a status update. Then, steeling himself, he went through the “strangers” in his friend list one by one, greeting them and inviting them to like it.

Five minutes later.

After more than ten people had warmly greeted his entire family, several people had asked whether his account had been hacked, and he had received over thirty friend-deletion notifications, he finally managed, with great difficulty, to scrape together ten likes.

A Little Hamster: “[Image] Miss Guide, I’ve gathered ten likes on my end!”

Calamity: “Very well, then I’ll draw the prize for you now!”

Calamity: “Ding-dong! Congratulations, you have obtained 99.8 assist points. You only need to collect another 0.2 assist points, and I will be able to provide you with aid! Continue forwarding the content to obtain assist points. Would you like to continue participating?”

A Little Hamster: “Of course!”

My luck with lotteries really is great. I got 99.8 assist points on the very first try! I should be able to succeed if I just do it one more time, right?

Fang Ji thought excitedly.

Five minutes later.

Calamity: “Dear user, congratulations. You now have 99.99 assist points and 9 energy cores! You only need to collect ten more likes to exchange for one energy core and claim assistance!”

Fang Ji: “…”

Even now, he still did not suspect that there was anything wrong with his lottery luck. However, he did begin to suspect that there was a serious problem with his interpersonal relationships!

He looked at the only three gray profile pictures left in his friend list, then looked at the man beside him, whose body kept making strange noises. His expression gradually turned despairing.

He felt that this time, no one would help him like the post anymore.

After a long while, he silently picked up his phone, took a selfie, and sent a message.

A Little Hamster: “Miss Guide, I might not be able to wait until your support arrives, because I don’t have any friends left to help me like it. If I die, could I trouble you to collect my body?”

A Little Hamster: “I’m here [Location Sharing], and this is what I look like [Image].”

————

Meanwhile, inside the Moyue Pifeng Lounge Bar.

Lu Yibei looked at the image that had appeared on her phone screen—a face wearing a pumpkin hood, eyes utterly devoid of the will to live—and for some reason felt that it looked somewhat familiar.

“Hiss… why does this person look like someone I’ve seen somewhere before…”

After thinking back for a moment, Lu Yibei suddenly snapped back to herself. “Wait! Isn’t this Miss Fang? How did she…”

So Miss Fang was “A Little Hamster”?

She had accepted the mission that was supposed to be mine, and ended up in danger?

This…

The shared location was right on Sleepless Street?

How did she follow me all the way here?

Looking at the phone screen, Lu Yibei hesitated for a moment. Then a fierce look flashed through her eyes, and she tapped open the location Fang Ji had shared.

Damn it. Looks like I can only go over there!

If I’m just going there, finding Miss Fang, and taking her away, there shouldn’t be too much danger… right?