I Became a Witch in a World Full of Urban Legends

Walking on the Chain Suspension Bridge, the howling cold wind between the cliffside valleys receded, and the mist curling around him thinned as if a gauze curtain were gently lifted. In the distance, green mountains were verdant, halls perched in majesty, and Zhen Ting Hall sat atop the peak; 

on the breeze faintly came the chanting of several lines of an incantation. In front of the main hall lay a pool; a breeze brushed by, and the water’s surface remained utterly still, like a bright mirror, clearly reflecting the green mountains and halls. 

Among a few clusters of emerald lotus leaves at the pool’s edge, a half-open lotus revealed touches of pink. The scenery was fine, but Lu Yibei had no mood to appreciate it. Damn it, the Ancestors had only talked about how, back then, they’d first been beaten senseless by the divine beast, and later how they beat the divine beast senseless in return; they never said the Mountain-Guarding Divine Beast had to do this sort of job too! 

If he’d known there was such a step, he should’ve asked what the Mountain-Guarding Divine Beast liked to eat, brought the venerable one a serving, and bribed it with food—maybe he could’ve muddled through. What should he do? 

How about slipping away first? He didn’t have to enter the Great Pure Palace through the front gate with perfect propriety—he wasn’t any paragon anyway; going in through the back wouldn’t be impossible. Thinking this, Lu Yibei whispered to Fu Xinyi, “Um… senior sister? I think I won’t go in with you. It’s my first time on Zhenwu Mountain; I want to tour the scenic area.”

“Besides, I’ve got social anxiety; I don’t like being around too many people!”

Thinking of how in Tang City Lu Yibei had left Professor Hou speechless, Fu Xinyi glanced at him with a smile, raised an eyebrow slightly, and said, “You? Social anxiety? As in your social ability is terrifying?”

“Misunderstanding, total misunderstanding! Senior sister, haven’t you heard of extroverted social anxiety?” Lu Yibei said. “It’s when, upon seeing a crowd, you get jittery and can’t control your mouth.”

“Eh? There’s that kind?” Fu Xinyi said in surprise.

“Yeah!” Lu Yibei said earnestly. “Basically you talk and talk until the other party can’t stand it and leaves on their own… Mm, if you can’t resolve the fear, resolve the person causing the fear, you get it?”“…” Fu Xinyi pondered for a few seconds, unable to tell if Lu Yibei was serious, then pursed her lips and said, “I don’t care; I think you’re just afraid of the divine beast!”

“A grown man shouldn’t be so timid, okay? Hurry up, you go first.”

Saying that, she circled behind Lu Yibei and gently pushed him forward. Lu Yibei: “…”

What I’m afraid of isn’t quite the same as what you mean by afraid, okay? I am indeed afraid of the Mountain-Guarding Divine Beast, but I’m not worried about…

“Roar—!”

What you fear is what arrives; just as Lu Yibei was inwardly vexed, a low growl suddenly came from deep within the pool ahead, cutting off his thoughts. 

The muffled-thunder growl rolled out; the surface of the pool burst and boiled, and then a massive whirlpool appeared at its center. In an instant, waves surged, and a lithe figure leapt from the pool. As a rain of water droplets fell like a slowly descending curtain, Lu Yibei saw clearly not the Great Pure Palace’s admissions brochure… no, the silhouette of the Mountain-Guarding Divine Beast. 

Its form resembled a fine steed, yet was taller and more powerfully built than any known breed, covered in cyan scales with a metallic sheen. Its thick limbs bulged with corded muscle; a silky pale-gold mane, smooth as silk, ran from the top of its head to the end of its thick, powerful tail. Its whole being radiated a beauty where power and speed fused perfectly. 

It shook itself; a spray of droplets flew out yet did not fall—water beads, as if unaffected by gravity, orbited around it, glittering in the sunlight, with cerulean arcs of electricity crackling through them now and then, like a resplendent nebula. 

Lu Yibei stood frozen, not daring to move. The instant his gaze met the Mountain-Guarding Divine Beast’s, his heartbeat skipped half a beat. He confirmed it in its eyes—that thing wanted to come bite him. The Mountain-Guarding Divine Beast, its deep, large eyes fixed on him, seemed to think like a human; it glanced left and right, then its eyes suddenly lit up, it snorted excitedly, and set off at a walk toward them. 

A terrifying psychic energy fluctuation, laced with a strong damp scent, rushed over. Seeing this, Lu Yibei’s heart jolted, and he was about to bolt when a hand silently settled on his shoulder and pressed him in place, as if catching him about to run.

“Don’t be scared, junior brother; that’s our Great Pure Palace’s Mountain-Guarding Divine Beast. How is it—handsome and imposing, right?” Fu Xinyi grinned proudly. “You’re in luck today. If you weren’t with me, the divine beast might not have shown up!”

“I’ll tell you a little secret: the divine beast really likes me!”

Lu Yibei looked at Fu Xinyi, a string of question marks popping into his head. Good grief! So you lured the doggie here? Damn it, Fu Xinyi, you and I are sworn enemies now! He cursed twice inwardly, then unobtrusively shifted behind Fu Xinyi. One hand gripped the strap of the metal case, his feet spread slightly, ready both to fight and to flee. 

At this moment, the Mountain-Guarding Divine Beast suddenly quickened its steps, its form turning into a mass of water vapor, swift as a bolt of lightning, rapidly closing in with snorts that could be excitement or irritation. We’re dead—no time to run! 

Lu Yibei cried inwardly. In a flash he’d already imagined being “tamed” by the Great Pure Palace and, from then on with the divine beast, squatting at the mountain gate as a living admissions brochure—a miserable life. In the brief instant he was distracted, the divine beast had already reached him and halted. Its massive, proudly chiseled head held high, more than three meters up, it looked down at Lu Yibei with eyes exuding majesty. 

The next moment, as if an illusion, Lu Yibei caught a trace of delight in its gaze; then it grew jubilant. With soft thuds of its hooves, it hopped around Fu Xinyi and Lu Yibei, tongue lolling, head swaying.

Something’s off! Is it because of her? Lu Yibei glanced at Fu Xinyi from the corner of his eye, relaxed his brows, and quietly let out a breath. Looks like the divine beast really does like her…

Surely it can’t like me, right? The Ancestors used to beat it up all the time, and I’m a haunting—if it isn’t flying into a frenzy and biting me to death, that’s already pretty good. As he was thinking this, the divine beast suddenly tucked in its four legs, crouched on the open ground in front of Fu Xinyi, lowered its massive head, and swept its thick, powerful tail along the ground with a whoosh, striking a pose of “Come on, let grandpa take you for a spin!” Lu Yibei: “…”

Why is this divine beast acting so doglike? And why is its head so bald? Is the stress of working as an admissions brochure messing with its hormones and making it lose hair? Could… could we report the Great Pure Palace to an animal protection association for animal abuse? Fu Xinyi had never seen the Mountain-Guarding Divine Beast strike such a pose. She froze for a few seconds, then came to her senses, grasped the beast’s intent, and reached a tentative hand toward it.

“Heavens! The divine beast is going to acknowledge a master!”

“Breaking news, breaking news—Junior Sister Fu Xinyi has created another miracle!”

“The Mountain-Guarding Divine Beast actually crouched before Senior Sister Fu Xinyi and is letting her ride it of its own accord—truly a once-in-a-century genius, truly my idol!”

Just as Fu Xinyi’s fair little hand touched the divine beast’s head, a chorus of exclamations suddenly rang out from afar. Looking over, several youths in moon-white Daoist robes were hurrying deeper toward Zhen Ting Hall. Hearing their shouting, Fu Xinyi’s face turned pale, then she turned to Lu Yibei and said, “Crap, those guys saw!”

“Those guys?” Lu Yibei was puzzled.

“How to put it…” Fu Xinyi pressed a hand to her forehead. “It’s a bit embarrassing… In short, every time I come back from outside, some senior brothers and junior brothers—and occasionally junior sisters and senior sisters—spontaneously organize to come watch the commotion.”

“I get it, I get it!” From the slight flush on Fu Xinyi’s cheeks, Lu Yibei caught her meaning and nodded. “They’re your admirers, right? Like a fan club, yeah?”

Come to think of it, Fu Xinyi was indeed the Great Pure Palace’s once-in-a-century genius.

Moreover, she was beautiful, had a good figure, treated people kindly, had a good personality, and on top of that, she worked especially hard and was always striving to improve. It was only natural for someone like that to have admirers. There was nothing wrong with being a fan of someone like her, either; at the very least, she would never tell others to “just bear with it” or anything like that.

“Probably… something like that!” Fu Xinyi sighed silently, then clenched her pearly teeth and said, “Let’s not talk about this. I have to go after them first, lest they run around spouting nonsense and cause trouble for me.”

She was already burdened with far too many things, gritting her teeth and working hard every day, hovering on the verge of sudden death. If her teachers and elders were to learn that the Mountain-Guarding Divine Beast had actually shown a posture of submission toward her, who knew what additional courses they might pile onto her! Just thinking about it made her head throb.

“Junior Brother Lu, come with me. Once we catch up to them, I’ll find someone to take you to a place to rest.”

As Fu Xinyi spoke, she turned her head toward the staff member traveling with them, who was carrying Fang Ji on his back, and said, “Brother Li, then I’ll trouble you to first take him to Qingnang Cottage for treatment. I’ll take this friend to find lodging.”

“Mm, don’t worry!” Brother Li said with a smile. Then, carrying Fang Ji on his back, he followed a winding path paved with white pebbles, taking a shortcut toward Qingnang Cottage. Before long, his figure disappeared.

After watching the staff member leave, Fu Xinyi led Lu Yibei, chasing after those Great Pure Palace disciples who had run off, heading into Zhen Ting Hall. They had not gone far when they heard a long nasal sound from behind them.

“Chhh—!”

Hearing the sound, Lu Yibei looked back and saw that the Mountain-Guarding Divine Beast had already stood up. Its front hooves pawed uneasily at the ground as it stared fixedly at him.

When it saw Lu Yibei look over, it wagged its tail excitedly, and then…

It threw Lu Yibei a flirtatious wink, that gaze seeming to say, “Big bro, come play again when you have time!”

Lu Yibei shuddered at the sight.

Turning back around, Lu Yibei pondered for two seconds, then asked Fu Xinyi in a low voice, “Sorry to trouble you, but is your Mountain-Guarding Divine Beast male or female?”

Fu Xinyi slightly parted her lips, thought for a moment, and said seriously, “Probably male? I’m not too sure either. Why are you asking?”

Seeing Fu Xinyi’s strange look, Lu Yibei hurriedly explained, “Uh, don’t misunderstand. I’m not a furry fan. I’m just asking, that’s all.”

Fu Xinyi was in a hurry to chase after those senior and junior brothers, so she did not ask further. She shrugged and continued walking forward.

Lu Yibei followed behind her. After walking for some distance, he glanced again at the Mountain-Guarding Divine Beast lingering by the pool, furrowed his brows slightly, ignored the divine beast, and quickly withdrew his gaze.

Utter coldness!

Although he had already realized at this moment that the Mountain-Guarding Divine Beast’s reaction just now had very likely been because of him, since everyone had misunderstood and believed that Fu Xinyi had made the divine beast react that way, he felt it would be better to let this beautiful misunderstanding continue.

After all, he was planning next to sneak something out of Great Pure Palace. At this critical juncture, drawing unnecessary attention because of the Mountain-Guarding Divine Beast would be quite disadvantageous to his operation.

This kind of thing was like going to steal something from a police station, only to have a police dog eagerly fawning on you the moment you climbed over the wall.

If he got entangled by the Mountain-Guarding Divine Beast, then how was he supposed to pull anything off?

So, it was better to let Fu Xinyi take the blame!

In any case, she was also Great Pure Palace’s once-in-a-century genius. No matter what great feat she accomplished, no one would find it strange, right?

If necessary, he could even help confirm her reputation of making the divine beast submit.

Oh right, speaking of watermelon…

He would have to go find that old man later and make him perform some melon-eating, Lu Yibei thought.

————

Great Pure Palace’s Back Mountain, beside the Cold Pool, atop a protruding boulder.

Huá Sāng sat cross-legged on the boulder, holding a freshly made salt-poached chicken and feasting heartily. A moment later, the bones were scattered all over the ground.

After finishing the salt-poached chicken, she wiped her greasy little hands on her Daoist robe and muttered to herself, “Emm, not bad, really not bad. Back in the mountains, my whole body feels comfortable again.”

As she spoke, she took out the black-iron-colored ferule from inside her robe. At the same time, she rummaged among the chicken bones for a while, picked out a bone that still had a little meat on it, tied the ferule and the chicken bone respectively with a slender red cord, then casually threw the end tied to the chicken bone into the Cold Pool.

She had been fishing for soft-shelled turtles here for so many years that she had long since become familiar with their habits. Those refined baits, or the psychic energy-rich medicinal herbs cultivated by Qingnang Cottage, simply did not work.

She had already asked Qing Ji long ago: to fish for soft-shelled turtles, one had to use the smoke and fire of the mortal world!

As for what counted as the smoke and fire of the mortal world, Huá Sāng understood it to mean the food and dishes in the kitchen. So before she began fishing each time, she would go to the dining hall and take some food.

However, using dishes directly was somewhat wasteful, so every time, she would enjoy them first and then use the leftovers to fish for soft-shelled turtles.

Sometimes it was leftover vegetable leaves, sometimes fish heads, and sometimes gnawed chicken bones.

What was used as bait mainly depended on what main dish the dining hall had prepared that day.

After skillfully completing the preparations for fishing soft-shelled turtles, Huá Sāng stretched, wedged the ferule into a crack in the rock beside her, then flopped backward and lay on the boulder, spreading out her limbs and closing her eyes for a short nap.

After lying there for a while, seemingly to let the sunlight shine fully and evenly onto every corner of her body, she turned over again, faced downward, and sprawled on the boulder.

Immersed in the tranquil joy of “returning to nature,” Huá Sāng completely failed to notice that an old man with a white beard, wearing a white undershirt and a straw hat, was silently approaching her side with anger on his face.

Zhang Huainan stood beside Huá Sāng and stared at her for a few seconds. Then, with a backhand motion, he snatched up the ferule from the crack in the rock, aimed it at her pert backside, and began thrashing her wildly.

As the ferule rose and fell, the wind howled, and faintly, the sound of thunder emerged. Even the boulder beneath Huá Sāng was shaken into rumbling noises, dust spreading everywhere.

“You wretched girl, you’ve angered this old man to death! I’ll teach you to slack off here! I’ll teach you to slack off here!”

However, aside from her body twitching once when the ferule first struck her by surprise, Huá Sāng was almost unmoved. After crying out miserably twice, even her screams became perfunctory.

“Aiya… it hurts so much. I’m dying from the pain… my butt’s blooming…”

Listening to Huá Sāng’s weak, utterly emotionless wails, Zhang Huainan not only felt no relief, but grew even more furious. He angrily tossed the ferule aside and said in a deep voice, “Wretched girl, let me ask you: why did you leave that brat Lu Yibei at the foot of the mountain?”

“Is this how we disciples of Great Pure Palace should treat guests?”

Huá Sāng turned over, tidied her messy hair, and said in surprise, “I didn’t! I asked Senior Brother to go pick him up. With Senior Brother’s walking speed, if he took a shortcut, he’d reach the foot of the mountain in five minutes at most. Don’t tell me he couldn’t even wait five minutes?”

“Nonsense. Your senior brother didn’t go pick him up at all!” Zhang Huainan said. “I already asked your Shifu. Your senior brother went down the mountain early in the morning to handle business in Shizhou City!”

“But…” Huá Sāng felt somewhat wronged and argued, “I clearly saw my senior brother!”

“…” Hearing this, Zhang Huainan seemed to suddenly recall something. After a moment of silence, he frowned and asked, “Truly?”

“Really. Would I lie to you?”

“Haven’t you lied to me enough?”

“Not this time,” Huá Sāng said seriously.

“…” Zhang Huainan fell silent again for a while, then handed the ferule back to Huá Sāng. “I’ll believe you for now. Keep fishing! Once you catch one, roast it and send it to this old man. You know where to send it, don’t you?”

Huá Sāng curled her lip, took the ferule, and waved her hand. “I know, I know. Hurry up and leave. You’re making such a racket here, you’ve scared all the soft-shelled turtles away!”

“Hmph!” Zhang Huainan gave a cold snort, clasped his hands behind his back, tapped the ground with the tip of his foot, and flew up. After his figure flashed a few times in succession, he disappeared among the mountain forest.

————

Elsewhere.

Inside Zhen Ting Hall, along a certain corridor.

Fu Xinyi crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked at Lu Yibei, who was leaning against the railing, her face full of confusion. She asked, “What’s going on with you?”

“You suddenly collapsed to the ground and started twitching—are you feeling unwell?”

“I…” Lu Yibei parted his lips, then let out a silent sigh. “Forget it, I’m fine. You should hurry up and go chase your admirers, shouldn’t you?”

Was I supposed to tell her my butt suddenly hurt? Like I’d been hit. How could I say that out loud? Besides, this might be because of that strange link with Huá Sāng. Damn it, what is she up to? Butt pain… Didn’t expect it—she really plays rough, huh? Lu Yibei thought.