World’s Cutest Alchemist

I yawned, getting into my raccoon onesie before heading to bed. I flopped onto the mattress and let myself sink into it.

“Comfy~” I mumbled.

“Haha,” Luna chuckled and grabbed her mouse onesie, “With how much you jump on it, some day the bed frame is going to break for sure.”

“Impossible~ I’m like a bunny who can jump on clouds.” I said lazily.

“Right, right,” Luna smiled, “I’m gonna go shower.”

“Enjoy~” I yawned and watched as she headed to the bathroom.

Left alone, I rolled around in bed a few more times before I ended up staring at the ceiling in silence.

I’m not exactly ‘worried’ about meeting them again…I know them well enough that I know they’re not going to be weirded out or anything. But, to say that I’m not concerned would be a complete lie.

I guess, only time will tell.

While waiting for Luna, I decided to scroll for a bit on my phone and…

After seeing the amount of notifications, I immediately turned it off.

The issue wasn’t the amount notifications to ‘Raccoon’, no, rather, there was an absurd amount of notifications to ‘BinLover’.

Even if the viewers from Rumi’s stream had wanted to message me, this had clearly gone beyond its scope.

“Haah…” I sighed.

Let’s see what trouble I stirred up this time.

Turning on my phone, I opened my messages and saw a few from Rumi.

[RumiVT: Hey, thanks for playing today! It’s really fun whenever you come around, let’s play again later!]

[RumiVT: Um! Some person posted something strange online and I’m getting a lot of messages from it. I don’t know or care about any of that, I just want to make sure you’re okay! Please reply when you get the chance!]

[RumiVT: Are you okay?]

“Hm…” I paused, reading those messages. The first and second message was sent about two hours apart from each other.

From context clues, I can already semi-guess what happened.

This situation might be similar to when Luna’s and I relationship got leaked.

Well, it’s not completely unexpected. If someone had enough free time and liked doing similar things to stalker mister—except they’re likely not being paid for it—then, there’s probably enough info out there for BinLover to equal Raccoon.

But, the only thing I feel bad about is Rumi getting caught in the crossfire for it.

I’ll check on her in a bit. First, let’s just see if that was actually exposed.

I opened the internet and…

[Are BinLover and Raccoon the same person?]

Oh, wow. As I expected.

This person delved deep into it as well. I guess it’s a good thing Luna changed her database publicity recently.

Ah, the plight of being a genius, cute, outstanding, lovable, magnificent—And all the other right adjectives you can think of—alchemist. I’m getting the full celebrity treatment for being too good at my job~

Hehe.

I returned to my messages with Rumi.

[BinLover: Hi Rumi! Available to call?]

Not even a second later, Rumi started the call.

Pfft, that was fast.

When I joined, Rumi’s voice immediately came through my phone’s speakers.

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[Bin! Are you okay?] Rumi asked in a concerned tone.

“Pfft, hehe,” I giggled, “I’m fine, are you okay, Rumi?”

[I’m fine, I’m fine. I’m used to chatters being a little weird.] Rumi said, [I’m more worried about you and Mouse, sudden attention from strangers can be stressing.]

Hm…Does she know? Or is she playing ignorant?

“Well, Mouse and I are just so beautiful and cute, we’re used to the attention from strangers~” I said playfully.

[But this is different from attention in real life, there’s a lot of creeps and weirdos online.]

“We know, don’t worry~”

[Okay then, that’s good.] Rumi let out a breath of relief, and after a moment of silence, she continued, this time, somewhat more awkwardly, [Say…]

“Yes?”

[Um…I read a little through that person’s post—ah, have you seen it?]

“I’ve read through it.”

[Then, um…That person…Uh…Weird as they might be. Did bring up some valid evidence…]

“Are you asking if I am the Little Bomber?” I asked pointedly.

[Well, uh…I mean! It doesn’t matter whether you are or not! My friend is BinLover, or Bin. Um…Never mind, forget I asked.]

Pfft! I internally giggled. Rumi really is a good friend; Now, this does beg the question: What do I do?

I’m seeing a few options here: One, I could just tell Rumi that I am, in fact, Raccoon. That might get a little bit of a fun reaction, but, she’s also probably half-thinking that already. So, it’d be a way more subdued reaction than the one I was expecting when I invited her to the housewarming party.

Option two: I could lie and say that I’m not Raccoon. Though, I see that going one of two ways. She either doesn’t believe me, or, I end up being a liar when I inevitably reveal myself.

Neither of which sound very fun.

Hm…I could deflect? But that’d be even more suspicious.

What to do…What to do…

Suddenly, it was like a light bulb flicked on in my mind. A brilliant idea came to me!

“Ahem,” I cleared my throat, “Do you like Raccoon, Rumi?” I asked, opening Tawer on the side.

[Huh? Oh! Yes! I think she’s very cool and admirable! I’m not an awakener myself, but, I can imagine how difficult it’d be for a production class to clear the fifth floor solo and ranking on it. I watched the replay on YouTube and I found it so impressive how she was able to create a potion capable of killing the hobgoblin in time.] Rumi said.

Oh geez! I’m gonna blush! Hehe!

“Right? Isn’t she impressive.” I nodded, “You’re not an awakener?” I asked.

And while I did, I posted something on Raccoon’s Tawer.

[Raccoon: WHO?]

[No, unfortunately, I didn’t naturally awaken. I mean, there’s still a chance I do, but, it hasn’t happened yet. I also don’t see a reason to buy the awakening item either, streaming is doing great for me monetarily.]

“I see, I see. Yeah, if you’re doing good streaming, then I suppose it doesn’t matter. But! Being an awakener is so much fun! Even if you don’t want to climb the tower or clear gates, it’s pretty useful having skills and stuff.”

[Yeah, that’s true, I guess-Wait! Raccoon just posted something? Huh? Wait, what?] Rumi sounded genuinely confused, […Not the same person?] She questioningly asked herself.

I mean! I’m not the one lying to her! If I never answer, it’s never a lie! Hehe. If she just assumes it’s not true, I’m free of guilt!

“Eh? What the heck! Who ‘who’d’ me!?” I exclaimed.

But! It was me who ‘who’d’ me!

[Pfft! You just got ‘who’d’ by Raccoon! Bahahaha!] Rumi burst out laughing.

“Bah! Whatever! I’m leaving!” I pouted.

[Hahahaha!] Rumi was still laughing.

I disconnected from the call and chuckled. Now! When she comes over to the housewarming party and I reveal it…Hehe, she should have a very shocked expression~

Completely worth it~

I yawned and decided to watch a few YouTube shorts until Luna finished her shower.

A few minutes later, she did just that. I brushed her hair until it was silky smooth. When we laid next to each other, I gave her cheek a peck before slowly closing my eyes and drifting off to dreamland.

…

“What time should I come to pick you up?” Luna asked.

“Mm…In about two hours, I guess?” I said.

“Got it.” Luna nodded.

I leaned over the center console and we kissed before I got out and shut the passenger door. Taking a deep breath, I calmed myself and looked at the building in front of me.

It was a rustic looking building, the furniture and exterior reminded me of the old cowboy days. This was a place that Luna and I visited often when we went on our dates. I loved the steak and fries they had here, and Luna…Well, Luna loved just about anything on the menu.

It was affordable and delicious, but…That’s when it’s just Luna and I…I’m kind of worried that those guys are just going to order everything on the menu just to get me back for ghosting them for half a year.

I closed my eyes for a few moments before letting out a deep breath.

It was already 17:45. They should be here already…

I looked back and saw Luna wave at me through the car window.

I smiled and waved back.

Finally, I stepped forth. It was time to meet my friends again.

…

I didn’t have to walk for long before I spotted them. Three young men were waiting just in front of the restaurant, casually bantering with each other.

There familiar faces made me feel a little sentimental.

Bryson had messy black hair with bangs that covered his forehead. He had emerald green eyes and a naturally playful vibe to him. He was lean and fit, one of his hobbies was free climbing, so I knew muscle was packed in that slim body of his. He wore a loose white t-shirt that had a design of a cartoon we used to watch together. A silver chain hung around his neck and he also wore tan cargo pants and white shoes.

Bryson was sitting on a railing, dangling his legs in the air. He looked just as I remembered him.

The next person I saw was Cassian.

Cassian had shoulder-length black hair that was neatly groomed. His features were androgynous—you could call him a pretty boy with blue eyes. Like Bryson, he wore a loose fitting t-shirt, but this one had a design of a sea monster on it. He wore black pants with a chain on the hip, like a skater boy. He had multiple black rings on his left hand, though, I knew for certain those were only for aesthetic.

Cassian was leaning against the railing right beside Bryson.

And finally, my eyes locked onto the last person: Colby.

Colby had blonde hair like me. But, unlike the soft color mine had, his was more of a dirty blonde. He had brown eyes and slightly bushy eyebrows. Out of the three of them, he was definitely the biggest, but, it was mainly muscle. Colby was one of those guys who’d go to the gym every morning consistently. I remember him talking to me about pre-workout and routines that I could only nod along ignorantly to. He wore a tight black shirt and shorts that reached past his knees.

Despite his serious-looking exterior, I knew this guy was a goofball who’d pass out on the floor and pee himself after just a few drinks.

I smiled. It felt good seeing them all again. But…Now, it was time to talk to them again…Which, I’m slightly more reluctant to do.

“Haah…” Taking a deep breath, I mustered up my courage and headed towards them.

Bryson instantly noticed me. He was always more observant than the rest of us. But, he didn’t full on look at me, instead just giving me a glance like you would a stranger.

When I got with 5 meters of them, I could hear them speaking.

“So, what’re the chances he ghosts us again for six months?” Bryson jokingly said with a chuckle.

“If that happens, I might just knock on his parent’s door.” Cassian replied.

“You know where auntie lives?” Colby asked.

“Well, not them, but, I do know where the guild they’re in is. It’s only a three or four hour drive. While I’m there, I might visit the theme park too.” Cassian said.

“Oh! That sounds like a good idea! Count me in!” Bryson said cheerfully.

“Me too.” Colby nodded.

…These dimwits. I internally thought with a smile.

Finally, as I got closer, the rest of them noticed me and they quieted down as they watched as I approached.

“Hm…” Bryson tilted his head and squinted his eyes a little at me.

“Hello, is something wrong?” Cassian asked politely, speaking for the group.

“Hi! Um, yes, I’m looking for someone have you-” As I went to speak and mess with them, my phone suddenly started to ring.

And it rung loudly.

My eyes drifted towards Bryson. His phone was now in his hand, he was calling someone.

Me.

Bryson looked at me.

I looked at him.

Cassian looked at Bryson, then his phone, and then at me.

Colby followed suit.

Only the sound of the bustling activity inside the restaurant and mine and Bryson’s phone was in the air.

Slowly, I reached down and grabbed my phone.

I looked at the caller I.D.

[Bryson]

My other hand slowly pressed the ‘Reject’ icon and then both phones stopped ringing. After putting the phone back in my pocket, I went to speak, but, someone else did so before me.

“BAHAHAHAHA!” Bryson burst out laughing.

The pieces of the puzzle clicked into place for the other two as they also started to laugh.

“HAHAHA!”

“HAHAHA!”

“…What’s so funny?” I asked.

“YOU’RE SO SHORT!” Bryson exclaimed, as he was dying laughing.