World’s Cutest Alchemist

“So,” Luna started, crossing her legs, “What’s your plan to clear the floor?” She asked.

“…” I took this opportunity to really check out the nearby wall. Had it always looked like that? It’s kind of neat, I feel like a painting would fit good there.

“…You don’t have a plan?”

“Wow…Haah…Oh man, I’m so tired.” I forced a yawn.

“You slept for eight hours and woke up about an hour ago.”

“…Crazy how that works, isn’t it?”

“Haah…” Luna sighed and shook her head after placing her palm on her forehead.

“Hey! You’re the one who said you’ll stick with me even if it takes years!” I lashed out, “So! Let’s come up with a plan, together!”

“Right…I should’ve expected this from you.”

“Teehee?” I smiled and acted cutely.

“So, do you have any ideas to start with at least? I don’t know much about your combat capabilities other than you suck at melee.”

“W-Wha!? I don’t suck at melee! I’m a total pro!”

“If I remember correctly, you got absolutely destroyed when we fought with foam swords?”

“…I was going easy on you.”

“Right…” Luna rolled her eyes, “So?”

“Have you watched my clear videos?” I asked.

“Yes,” She nodded, “You trap the area beforehand with some sort of sticky potion and then blow them up with that…dynokali potion of yours. You keep a dagger at your hip, but I’ve yet to see you use it.”

“The sticky potion is called a gluetrap potion.” I informed her, “And…Yeah, that’s pretty much how I fight.”

“…?” She tilted her head, “Anything else? What’re your backup plans, fail-safes, or the like?”

Mm…It’s kind of embarrassing saying it out loud, but potions are really all I have. Even if I had to use the dagger, I’m not confident in my ability to win.

…Thinking about it, why am I embarrassed? There’s nothing to be embarrassed about! I’m an alchemist! All I need is potions!

So! I puffed out my chest and confidently replied,

“Potions! They won’t fail so I don’t need anything else! I’d like to see them try to survive my dynokali potions!”

Whack!

“Wah!” I shouted, clenching my flicked forehead.

“Stella…Do you want me to get angry?” Luna said with a low tone.

“…Sorry.” I could feel the tears start to bubble up in my eyes. Why are her finger flicks so strong!? I think I’m gonna get a bump!

“So?” She said, indicating for me to continue speaking.

I fake sniffled and continued,

“…I’m not lying. If they survive the initial explosion and get unstuck, I toss more potions. I haven’t had the need to yet, but I plan on surrounding myself with the gluetrap potion so they can’t reach me. Then, I have two choices, I could throw another explosive at them or I could pierce their necks with the dagger. I always drink buff potions before each floor, so I can at least run away if all else fails.”

“Mhm…” She nodded along as I spoke. “Didn’t I tell you that you need to be prepared for any scenario in the tower? Even production-classes aren’t safe from ambushes, even if you don’t know how to strike, you should at least know how to dodge.”

A few excuses bottled up in my throat, but I knew spouting nonsense would just get me another forehead flick. So, I nodded.

“However…I don’t see close-combat being vital in clearing this floor. To put it bluntly, you have no chance of beating a hobgoblin in a one-on-one.”

Aha! So I don’t need to learn how to fight yet! Great!

“…I suddenly feel an urge to flick you again.” Luna muttered.

I flinched and quickly spoke,

“I agree. Fighting the hobgoblin directly seems like a death sentence.”

“Which brings on the issue, how are you going to defeat it? You don’t plan on using a gun or similar ranged weapon due to wanting a proper floor clear.”

We both sat in thought for a few moments.

This really did seem like a difficult task. My stubbornest versus an insurmountable enemy.

I can’t bring anything classified as an [Item] into the floor, so potions and equipment are out of the question. I could bring a kitchen knife or blade as long as it isn’t itemized, but that brings the problem that I can’t fight.

Using a gun wouldn’t be ‘using my own means’ so that’s a no. And buying explosives would one, be illegal, and two, still not my own means.

Mm…

Eventually, I caved in and spoke,

“Let’s sleep on it. I can’t think of anything right now, so hopefully I can brainstorm a few ideas when I wake up.”

“Okay.” Luna nodded, “Then, let’s talk about our living situation. First, I don’t mind but are we staying at your place? You do have the garden you need to attend to.”

“Mm…” I paused in thought for a few moments, “I don’t really need to tend to it every day. I just need to make sure they’re watered and don’t have any weeds or pests on them. It would mean that I wouldn’t use my skill on them every day, but that’s a non-issue.”

“Mhm.” Luna nodded.

“But it would also feel like a waste to ignore them. Plus, I need to continue to brew potions, but I can live without doing it daily.” I said, “So, let’s just make it simple and how about we just go back and forth every couple days? Live here for a few, than at your place for a few.”

“…Do we have different definitions of ‘Making it simple’? Wouldn’t true simplicity just be picking a place to stay at until you clear the floor?”

“Your bed’s really comfy.” I simply stated, “Plus, we need a change of scenery every so often! You hikikomori!”

“W-wha!? I am not a hikikomori!” She shot back.

“Right…” I rolled my eyes before continuing, “Plus, there’s just a whole bunch of other details I can’t be bothered to go into.”

“What? What do you mean you can’t be bothered?”

“Anyways,” I shrugged, “We should set some boundaries? If we’re living together we need to know each other’s no-no’s.”

“I agree.” Luna nodded, “We can’t watch horror movies past evening.”

“…?” I tilted my head, “Is that really something you need to set?”

“Yes.” She immediately said with resolute eyes, “And…No explosives! Don’t play with those dynokali potions of yours while I’m here!”

“Tch,” I clicked my tongue, “…What if it’s just a little?” I asked.

“No!”

I jutted my lips and looked at her with puppy eyes.

“…Really?” I asked.

“N-no…” She said, clearly wavering.

I scooted a little closer to her and gently held her hand,

“…Really?”

“…If you inform me beforehand, I may allow it…”

“Yes!” I pumped my fist.

“May! I said ‘may’!”

“Hehe!” I giggled, “Anything else?”

“Um…I don’t know? I’ve never lived with someone else before.”

“Mm.” I nodded, “Okay~ Understood, so, I’m your first.” I teased, “No horror movies, easy~!”

I barely watched movies in the first place, so, that was an easy boundary to conform to.

“W-wha…Ahem, I just decided on another one. No teasing me more than three times a day.”

“Eh!?! Impossible.” I immediately shut it down.

“Why’s it impossible!? How hard is it not to tease me!?”

“More difficult than clearing this floor.” I said with an unwavering gaze.

“No way!” She said.

“So,” I swiftly continued to carry on the topic, “My boundaries.”

“Gr…” She grumbled but allowed me to speak,

“This is something actually serious…I need you to promise me that you won’t break this boundary.” I said with a low tone.

She perked up, sensing the mood and nodded, listening intently.

“I can promise…” She said.

After confirming her words, I continued with a low tone,

“I need you…To compliment me at least once a day.”

“…”

“…”

“You!” She shouted before starting to continuously poke my head, “Why! Can’t! You! Be! Serious!?”

“Hehe.” I giggled, accepting the pokes with pride. Totally worth it.

“Seriously!” She jutted her lips and puffed out her cheeks, turning away.

Oh~ A good photo. I thought, taking the opportunity to snap a good picture.

“Anyways,” I cleared my throat, “I really don’t have anything to set. Nothing you could do would really make me mad or annoyed.”

“…There’s got to be something.”

“Mm…Nope! You could even eat all my strawberries~”

“R-Really?”

“Ah, but then I’d have to punish you.”

“…?” She froze, “…How would you punish me?”

“Try it and find out!” I smiled.

“…I won’t eat all the strawberries.”

“Tch.”

“Did you just click your tongue!?”

“No?” I innocently replied, “You must’ve imagined it.”

She shot me a suspicious look.

“Anyways, feel free to treat this home as yours. You know where everything is. No need to ask if you can do anything.” I said before getting up.

“Where’re you going?”

“I need to go clean my kitchen and prepare to make dinner.” I replied, “I’ll also list some mana potions while I’m at it.”

Luna nodded before getting up. It seemed like she planned on keeping me company. I certainly didn’t mind.

First, I threw my hat into the closet and the lab coat into the laundry basket before heading to the kitchen.

I listed 50 of my oldest mana potions on the exchange before replacing them with the new ones I made. After that was done, I started to properly clean the kitchen. I threw the useless offshoots away, wiped the counter clean, and put everything back in their place.

While I was doing this, Luna mostly watched and occasionally chatted.

Everything just felt nice. I hope our days of living together can always be as good as today.

…

Since I had slept during the day, I didn’t feel tired when it was time to sleep. Unfortunately for Luna, she didn’t sleep, so she went to bed early.

Leaving Luna on the bed alone, I headed to my living room and sunk into the couch.

Blankly staring at the ceiling, I found myself lost in thought.

Just how was I going to clear the floor?

I showed a lot of bravado and determination, but did I actually have the means to back it up?

Time will tell, but it’s up to me to make it possible.

If I can’t think of a solution after tomorrow, I should ask the gallery. Those old alchemy misters are way smarter than me.

Unlike creating a recipe for a potion, I had no restraints about asking for help on this front. Especially when I’m as lost as I am now.

As I stared at the ceiling, I heard the sound of a door opening. Had Luna not fallen asleep? She exited the bedroom, looking around while wiping her eyes before spotting me. She waddled over to me like a penguin, she was clearly tired, so why hadn’t she just slept?

“You’re awake?” I asked.

“Mm…” She replied with a sleepy voice, “I didn’t see you next to me, so I was worried…”

“Ah, I’m sorry. I was just thinking about how to clear the floor.”

“Mm…You should just sleep on it as you said earlier.”

“Okay…” I simply replied, standing up and taking her hand, “C’mon, let’s get you back to bed, don’t fall over while you walk.”

“Mm…”

I led her back to the bedroom and she lay down. She patted the spot next to her, urging me to follow.

I obliged and lay next to her,

“Hey, Luna.” I said.

“Yes…?”

“I want to give you something after I clear the floor.”

“…A gift? You don’t need to give me anything…I’m doing this because I want to.”

“A gift…Well, if you see it as one, it could be. But, it’s something I really want to give you.”

“Then…Okay, but don’t set death flags.”

“Hehe, you already told me that before. I said I wouldn’t joke like that anymore.”

“Good…Then…After you clear it, I’ll be waiting for your gift.”

“Got it. I hope you’ll like it.”

“I’m sure…I will…” She murmured, drifting off.

When I looked over, she was already snoozing. I smiled at the sight and scooted closer before closing my eyes.

“Goodnight, Luna.” I whispered.

That night was the comfiest sleep I’ve had in a while. I pray all nights will be as cozy as this one in the future.