Marvel: A Lazy-Ass Superman

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”How is that possible? Why would Earth have something like this?”

Henry wore a look of utter disbelief as he struggled backward along the aisle in front of the seats, trying to get farther away from the ominous green glow.

The greatest power a person could possess was the ability to hold another’s life in their hands.

When someone else’s fate rested entirely under your control, it was easy to develop the illusion that you were omnipotent.

That was exactly how John Garrett felt.

He even found the lead-lined box too cumbersome and simply grabbed several of the glowing green stones out of it, tossing the heavy container aside.

The reason there were several stones was simple: his technicians had collected every mineral they could find that was green or capable of glowing green.

Some had even been refined and concentrated into high-purity samples before they would emit visible green light.

Seeing this, Henry nearly looked as if his soul were about to leave his body.

His eyes practically bulged out.

This guy really had the guts.

Didn’t he have an entire team of scientists under him?

Had nobody warned him?

”Scared?” Garrett sneered. ”Good. You should be. Looks like we’ve finally figured out your purpose. A super soldier with such an obvious weakness isn’t very useful on a battlefield.

”We’ll have to find another way to put you to practical use.”

”Wait, please, wait!” Henry hurriedly said. ”I still have value. I have access privileges to Hollywood Kid, the supercomputer at Stark Pictures. It’s a Stark Industries-built supercomputer—one of the most advanced computers in the world.”

”Didn’t you resign?” Garrett asked. ”You still have access?”

”I built a backdoor. A high-level user ID I secretly created while I was still inside. Not only can I use Hollywood Kid’s processing power, I can also monitor everyone else’s activity and intercept any data I want.”

”Why would the resources of a movie studio be a bargaining chip?”

”What about the women? Secret files on every actress in Hollywood. Information only the head of a movie studio would ever see. Dedicated staff organize it and deliver it right to our desks.

”With those files, every female celebrity would be yours to do with as you please.”

”Women?”

Garrett looked unimpressed.

”Can’t you offer something more important?

”Why do you think women are valuable resources? They’re just whores. Put a gun to their heads and it doesn’t matter whether you have those files or any money.”

”Sixty million. Sixty million dollars! The settlement Sony paid me. It’s sitting in my bank account.”

”And you think a sum like that can either be hidden from us—or buy your life after you hand it over?”

”I also know some secrets—”

”Enough!”

Garrett cut him off.

”We’re an intelligence agency. Discovering secrets is what we do best. Do you really think you know more than we do?”

”But I have to tell you.”

”Why do I get the feeling you’re stalling for time?”

Garrett narrowed his eyes.

”You don’t think someone’s coming to save you, do you? Tony Stark? He’s in New York. If you’re waiting for him to get here, you’ll be waiting a long time.”

”But I don’t think it’ll take that long.”

Sitting on the floor, Henry’s panicked expression abruptly transformed into one of amusement.

He pointed at Garrett as the man approached and casually wiped beneath his own nose.

Garrett hadn’t expected the sudden shift and failed to understand the gesture immediately.

Henry continued:

”Didn’t your technical advisors tell you that glowing stones usually mean they’re emitting intense alpha radiation interacting with their crystal structure?

”That means the radiation level is so excessive it’s visible to the naked eye—and you actually picked them up with your bare hands.

”My guess is that the brightest one contains uranium. Normally it only glows green under ultraviolet light.

”So what exactly did you people do to that rock? Mind telling me?

”Actually, I’m impressed you managed to get your hands on this stuff at all—and even more impressed that you held it directly.

”By the way, what are the other green stones? Mind introducing them to me?”

Henry stood up as if nothing had happened and brushed the dust from his pants.

That action immediately startled the men in black suits, who drew their pistols and aimed at him without the slightest hesitation.

Only then did some of them notice Garrett’s condition.

One of the agents closest to him unconsciously mimicked Henry’s earlier gesture and touched beneath his own nose, intending to warn his boss.

The moment he did, he realized something was wrong.

Combined with what Henry had just said, several of them seemed to understand.

Instinctively, they began edging away from Garrett.

Unfortunately, realizing it now was already too late.

Garrett wiped beneath his nose.

When he looked at his fingers, they were stained with blood.

He froze.

”Fuck! What the hell is going on?”

”Chernobyl. Three Mile Island.”

Henry shrugged.

”You’ve got plenty of dead bodies from those incidents to use as reference.

”If humanity still refuses to learn from experience, there’s not much I can do about it.

”I just hope you people have developed some anti-radiation medication. Though whether taking it afterward still helps is another question.”

”So this is what you were waiting for?”

Garrett roared angrily.

”You were waiting for these things to poison me!”

Henry spread his hands helplessly.

”Or maybe they’re just pieces of fluorite. Perhaps you happened to find some unusually bright, high-purity fluorite.

”Those are radioactive too, but nowhere near this dangerous.

”Who knew you’d actually pull them out and start handling them with your bare hands?

”After all, I’ve been standing in exactly the same radiation field as you. Apparently I can tolerate it better.

”Maybe you should wait a little longer. I think those stones are affecting me too.

”Ahhh... I feel weak. I’m dying. I’m dying. I’m about to die.”

Then he burst out laughing.

Unable to keep a straight face any longer, Henry leaned against a row of seats and snickered.

”You bastard…”

Garrett hurled the deadly stones away.

”Take him down!”

The black-suited agents drew their pistols.

But then they seemed to remember that their so-called kryptonite wasn’t working and that Henry was supposedly bulletproof.

So instead of firing, they holstered their weapons and rushed him from all directions like a pack of charging bears.

Without a word, Henry pulled an Uzi submachine gun from behind his back.

The theater instantly erupted with gunfire.

The reaction was immediate.

Every single one of them ducked and sprinted away using textbook tactical maneuvers.

Not a single person stayed behind.

Even John Garrett—the man who had been shouting for everyone else to charge—ran just as fast as the rest.

Looking around the now-empty theater, Henry casually set the gun on a nearby seat.

He first returned the green stones to the lead box and closed the lid.

Only then did he sit back down and continue watching Gone with the Wind in peace.

After all, he had paid for a ticket.

No sense wasting it.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t long before someone else interrupted.

This time the newcomers made their identities perfectly clear.

”LAPD! Don’t move!”

Later, sitting in the back seat of a police cruiser, Henry watched as officers searched the theater multiple times before gathering around the ”Uzi submachine gun” that had been recovered much earlier.

They stared at it in confusion.

Because it was merely a prop gun.

The firing sounds were extremely realistic, but the barrel was solid, there was no bolt mechanism, and it couldn’t even accept a magazine.

It wasn’t capable of firing plastic BBs, either.

”So,” one officer said, ”the gunshots reported by callers inside the theater were produced by this toy gun? Is that correct, Mr. Brown?”

”Yes,” Henry replied obediently while wearing a pair of silver handcuffs.

”Unless, of course, you found a second submachine gun in the theater with my fingerprints on it.

”And for the record, it’s a movie prop—not a toy gun.”

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