Marvel: A Lazy-Ass Superman

For 40 advanced chapters, visit my Patreon:

Patreon - Twilight_scribe1

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

”Uh… this is…” Alexei stared blankly, completely at a loss for words.

Half proud and half annoyed, Henry called out to the freshly escaped giant.

”Hurry up and help. If you want to leave, these are the only means of transportation available.”

While fumbling around and offering more confusion than assistance, Alexei asked,

”Am I supposed to ride that big cat?”

”In your dreams. You’re going to wear the duck-type Duck-Leopard Armor.”

”What?! You want me to wear that stupid duck? No way. Why do you get to look all cool riding a giant metal cat while I’m stuck dressed as a ridiculous duck?”

The fluffy appearance of the duck-type Duck-Leopard Armor did make it look less like advanced equipment and more like an oversized amusement-park mascot costume.

Henry could only explain:

”Without the support systems, your body won’t survive the acceleration from the hyper-launch propulsion system. All those puppies and mice I strapped to the outside during testing? Gone. I even tried a turtle. Its shell didn’t save it either.”

”I’m different! I’m a loyal super soldier of the Red Empire, powered by faith!”

Henry responded with cold facts.

”Sure, sure. Super soldiers are amazing. Put on the duck armor and, excluding the time needed to suit up, we can reach Sokovia in three minutes.

”If you insist on riding the leopard type, then we’ll have to use the slower travel method. At maximum speed, nonstop, we can get there in about twenty-five hours. But let me warn you—it won’t be a comfortable trip.”

Because he didn’t have access to his own satellites in Europe, he had to hack into other people’s satellites to pinpoint their destination, which took additional time. Back in North America, thirty seconds of positioning was usually enough.

Standing stiffly with his arms crossed, Alexei declared,

”I insist. And seriously, ’Duck-Leopard Armor’? What kind of name is that? Were you designed by Disney?”

”Fine. Your funeral.”

Good advice couldn’t save someone determined to learn the hard way.

Henry had no interest in arguing over something so trivial. Aside from the risk of prison pursuers catching up, some people simply refused to believe a minefield existed until they stepped on a mine themselves.

He moved aside and gestured toward the leopard-type armor.

Having arrived in an unfamiliar place, Katie had been wandering around curiously.

Although the armor featured a sealed internal air-circulation system capable of protecting against environmental hazards and poisonous gas, it wasn’t completely isolated from the outside world.

After all, there was a tiger inside. Animals’ heightened sensitivity to environmental changes could sometimes serve as a useful warning system.

Still, since Alexei wanted to ride it, Henry called Katie over.

The armor achieved its greatest performance when Katie served as its core operator, but it could still use voice commands to force certain actions from her.

Generally speaking, Katie wouldn’t resist too strongly. If she truly fought back, however, the armor’s movements could become uncoordinated.

Compared to a tiger’s strength, trying to force movement without hurting her was incredibly difficult.

Fortunately, in this unfamiliar environment, the big cat was behaving herself instead of running wild.

Pointing at the leopard-type armor that had approached, Henry explained the section originally used to secure the duck-type armor and now functioning as a riding position.

”You can tell this is shaped like a saddle. A person sits here. There are footrests and handgrips.

”Once you’re seated, your waist and limbs will be secured with safety restraints.

”Don’t panic when you get strapped in. Unless, of course, you don’t mind being thrown off at two hundred kilometers per hour because of bumps or because your grip gives out.”

Alexei looked utterly incredulous.

”What are you talking about? How could something like that happen? I’m a super soldier. Do you even understand what those words mean?”

Henry didn’t bother arguing further.

”Get on, Super Soldier. We need to move. I’d like to make it home in time for a hot meal tonight.”

The Duck-Leopard Armor wasn’t nearly as convenient as Tony Stark’s post–Mark 10 models, which could be donned and removed anywhere at any time.

So Henry simply phased through matter and entered the duck-type armor directly.

After climbing onto the leopard’s back, Alexei asked,

”So… you don’t have a helmet or something?”

Without a word, Henry removed the duck armor’s oversized duck head and held it out.

”Want one?”

Alexei’s expression radiated pure disgust.

Henry put it back on.

”Yeah, I figured. Hold on tight, Super Soldier. We’re leaving.”

The duck-type armor extended both arms horizontally like a bird spreading its wings in flight.

If the design weren’t such an adorable cartoon mascot, it might have looked a bit more impressive.

The leopard armor released its forced-control mode.

Thanks to the armor, Katie felt no discomfort despite carrying an extra passenger.

She simply moved as she normally would—

And started running through the sky.

The gravity-ion devices on all four paws granted the beast the ability to step on empty air. Each stride launched her several meters forward.

At the same time, the duck-type armor blasted upward alongside her.

The duck armor was actually faster than the leopard type, so Henry had to match Katie’s pace.

The pair reached their theoretical maximum speed in only a few seconds.

Without the safety harness holding him in place, Alexei would have been launched into the horizon immediately.

The big man stubbornly refused to let out a little-girl scream.

Instead, he skipped straight to unconsciousness.

Was a super soldier’s physique inadequate?

Of course not.

He simply wasn’t accustomed to acceleration even more violent than a fighter jet engaging afterburners.

The leopard armor’s current speed and acceleration represented the absolute limits Katie herself could withstand.

Back during development, a certain creator had repeatedly overdone things without any sense of restraint, knocking Katie unconscious several times before arriving at the current settings.

When Jack Reacher had ridden it previously, Katie’s acceleration had been deliberately toned down because he was an ordinary human.

Henry had assumed a super soldier could at least match a tiger’s tolerance levels.

Apparently not.

Now that the man was unconscious, Henry wasn’t cruel enough to leave him strapped to the leopard’s back and bounce him nearly five thousand kilometers all the way to Sokovia.

After twenty-five nonstop hours of that treatment, even if Alexei arrived alive, he’d probably be ruined.

The Duck-Leopard Armor landed once more.

Henry emerged from the duck-type armor and laid the limp Alexei flat on the ground.

The burly man slowly regained consciousness, looking as though he’d lost his memory.

His first words were:

”Who am I? Where am I?”

”You’re Alexei Shostakov. We’re in Siberia. We just escaped from prison.

”So, do you still insist on riding the leopard all the way to Sokovia? It’ll take at least twenty-five hours.”

”What?! We’re not even halfway there yet? Why does it feel like it’s been forever? Like an entire lifetime passed!”

”That’s an illusion. You lasted three minutes. We’re still within driving distance of the prison. Don’t tell me you saw your life flash before your eyes and thought you’d lived another lifetime.”

”Fine,” Alexei said, displaying admirable flexibility. ”Can I agree to switch transportation methods now?”

”Of course. Let’s get you suited up.”