I Siphon the Dead to Become the Strongest

A few minutes of silence stretched between us, thick enough to taste (and like everything else here, it tasted faintly of sewage). Lindis had just plopped down cross-legged on the damp floor, sharpening her axe with a small whetstone, looking for all the world like she was on a pleasant picnic.

I, meanwhile, was having a minor internal crisis. I waved a hand in front of her face. “Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Time out. You’re telling me… the master plan… is that I will go out there, taunt goblins, and bring them directly to you so you can… what, give them hugs?”

Lindis beamed up at me. “Yeah! That’s the plan! I’ll tank their hits—Stone Skin practice!—and you can attack whenever you want from the sides!”

“NO!” I blurted out, the word exploding in the quiet tunnel. “No. Absolutely not. That is a plan forged in the deepest, dumbest pits of monster-baiting hubris. I am a guy whose greatest combat contribution so far is a firm handshake. I will not use a woman as a glorified meat-shield just so I can grift a few extra credits.”

Lindis blinked, her smile faltering. Then her expression brightened again. “Well then, how about this? I’ll just take the weak attacks—the little ones—to build up my skin. I’ll block or dodge the dangerous ones. Is that… good?”

Her tone was so accommodating that it completely disarmed me. There was a keen hunger in her eyes—a genuine, almost desperate desire to get stronger. It was a look I recognized in the mirror every time I stole a sliver of something wretched, hoping it would push me an inch forward.

I sighed, a long, defeated sound. “Fine. But we run if it gets remotely tight. We flee with the speed and grace of startled gazelles who have just remembered they left the oven on. Is that agreeable?”

Lindis’s face split into a huge, relieved grin. She shot up to her feet and gave me a massive, enthusiastic thumbs-up. “Yeah!!”

I looked at her enthusiastic thumbs, then at the dark tunnels ahead. This was the worst plan I had ever agreed to. Sadly, it was also the only plan I had.

...

Back in their small, cozy apartment in Mapo, the atmosphere was one of damp, clean exhaustion. The scent of cheap body wash and steam filled the air.

Kaela emerged from the bathroom wrapped in a fluffy robe, vigorously drying her short, dark hair. Zane was sprawled on the worn floor cushions, staring at the large wall-mounted TV.

On screen, a reporter stood in front of a shimmering, monstrous gateway. The graphic read: GATE INCIDENT - SHIMANE PREFECTURE, JAPAN.

“…and we’re getting confirmation now,” the reporter’s tense voice echoed. “The A-Rank gate, codenamed ‘Azure Depths,’ has undergone a spontaneous rank escalation. As you can see, the stable blue resonance has shifted to a volatile crimson red, indicating a confirmed S-Rank classification.”

The camera zoomed in on the gateway—a wound in the sky weeping bloody light.

“Initial reports indicate no immediate breach,” the news continued. ”A contingent of the Japanese Hunter Association is on site, including one of the newly rising S-Rank stars…”

The footage cut to a young woman with gravity-defying silver-white short hair and piercing, unnaturally red eyes that scanned the scene with profound, soul-crushing boredom. The chyron below her flashed: S-RANK HUNTER: AYAME “BLIZZARD” FUJIMORI.

Zane whistled low, grabbing a handful of puffed corn snacks. ”Damn. Crimson gates. We are so lucky that one didn’t decide to spawn in Mapo-gu. Can you imagine trying to fight off a dragon while Mr. Saek from downstairs complains about the noise?”

Kaela padded over and dropped onto the couch beside him. ”That’s not our problem. The only thing you need to worry about right now is those two idiots still in the pipe gate.”

Zane’s expression softened into mild concern. ”Ah, don’t worry too much about it. Even if Ethan is… like that… he’s got something. I can feel it.”

Kaela tossed her towel aside, a small, knowing smirk on her lips. ”Yeah. I noticed it too. The whole eight hours? He wasn’t bad. He was… nervous. Every time he dodged or weaved, his eyes would dart to us. It was like watching a secret agent trying to pretend he doesn’t know kung fu.”

”Exactly!” Zane agreed, gesturing with a cheese puff. ”’Who, me? I just tripped forward elegantly to avoid that club! Pure luck!’”

They shared a comfortable laugh, the tension of the day melting away in their shared, weirdly accurate analysis of their perplexing new acquaintance.

Kaela leaned back, looking at the ceiling. “So… what’s our dinner for today? I’m too tired to cook.”

Zane’s face lit up, already pulling out his phone. “Chimaek! I’ll order the ‘Hurricane’ set from BHC Chicken—the one with all the soy glaze and cheese balls.”

Kaela nodded in solemn approval. “A wise and noble choice.”

As Zane scrolled through the delivery app, his mind briefly flickered back to the gate, to Ethan’s panicked face and Lindis’s determined one. They’d be fine. Probably.

Meanwhile, on the TV, the silent image of the crimson S-Rank gate in the quiet Japanese town still glowed, a stark reminder of how small their own E-Rank problems really were.

---

Author’s Notes:

”Hey everyone! Short chapter alert! I know, I know. Between real-life stuff and the plot bunnies hopping in my head, things have been a bit of a whirlwind. The dynamic of these two—a determined tank and a reluctant, secretly-skill-stealing guy who does NOT want her pity—is just too fun. The domestic scene with Kaela and Zane is also such a nice tonal contrast to the damp and danger, I had to include it.

And yes, that S-Rank escalation in the background? Just a little peek at the bigger world they’re all existing in. A reminder that there are much, much bigger fish out there.

Thanks for reading and for all your patience! More soon, I promise!

Stay warm and well-fed (unlike our sewer-dwelling duo)!