Lewd System: Every Scream and Moan is EXP

Chapter 267: Chapter 267 : The Spoon Of Confession

Jax continued. ”But there is a harsh truth that nothing ever goes as planned in this accursed world. There are always things that will slap you awake if you become too greedy. And I am lying right in between that.”

He looked at the melting ice cream in his bowl as if the answer to everything was drowning in vanilla.

”Look, Astrid. My world is really small. It has very limited people in it. And it’s not because people don’t try to enter. It’s not because they’re scared.”

He paused.

”It’s because I don’t let them. I push them away.”

His fingers tapped the table once. Twice.

”Because I’m scared.”

There was sadness behind his voice. And pain. The kind that doesn’t come from wounds but from years of choosing to carry things alone and getting too used to the weight.

”I wasn’t raised with love or anything close to it. I don’t know what a parent’s love looks like. I grew up in a world where you either have no weakness or the world swallows you whole.”

He said it the same way someone would read the weather forecast. Flat. Matter of fact. As if he had accepted it so long ago that the sting had been replaced by numbness.

”And that made me into someone who doesn’t know how to express what’s going on inside. You just called me emotionally incompetent and I’ll accept that. For the exact same reason.”

His eyes drifted to the window.

”And that’s also why I’m scared to add people to my small world. Because the moment I do, I become too protective of them. Their responsibilities become mine. Their pain becomes mine. Their enemies become mine. Everything.”

He exhaled slowly.

”And to be honest, this weakness has been getting worse over the last couple of months. I can see my own vulnerability growing and I can’t do a damn thing about it. Just watching how badly it will hurt if I fail.”

His voice went flat again. As if he realized he had shown too much and was now pulling the curtain back.

”So I keep my world small. Because every name I add is another person I could lose. Maybe through my own stupidity. Maybe through betrayal. Or maybe through something I can’t tell you about right now. But it’s the main reason.”

He thought about his promise to Adelina and Nerith.

Then silence sat between them. The kind that suffocates rather than comforts.

Then Astrid broke it. Her voice was low and careful. As if she was handling something fragile.

”Then am I in that small world of yours?”

Jax didn’t look at her. He scooped a spoonful of ice cream and said. ”Ask yourself.”

Then he started eating.

The silence returned. But this time they both ate through it. Astrid’s spoon moved mechanically while her mind was running at full speed.

She had gotten a glimpse of what was on the other side of the wall Jax had built. But it wasn’t enough. Not even close to understanding everything that was happening behind those eyes.

So her mind started forming a plan.

Some time later, when both bowls were empty and the silence had overstayed its welcome, Astrid spoke.

”Hey Professor. How about we play a game?”

Jax raised an eyebrow. ”A game? In the middle of this? What are you, twelve?”

Astrid gave him a look that was meant to be serious but somehow came out looking cute. ”I am serious. And you can’t refuse. You agreed that I would be the woman of the hour.”

Jax sighed in defeat. ”Fine. So what is it? Hide and seek? Tic tac toe?”

She pouted. ”I want you to be serious about it too.”

She placed the heavy spoon on the empty plate in front of them and said. ”Whoever the tip of the spoon points to after spinning will be the loser.”

Jax made a face so mocking that he was physically struggling to not burst out laughing.

Astrid ignored him completely and added. ”And whoever the loser is will have to confess something. Something they want to share but can’t. Something they’ve been hiding or holding back.”

She met his eyes.

”And with each turn, the new loser has to share something equal or greater than the previous confession.”

Jax wiped his mouth with a tissue. ”That’s a really dangerous game. Are you sure?”

She nodded with a resolve that could crack stone.

”And what if I refuse?”

”Then I will leave this café knowing exactly where I stand. That I was never a part of your world. Because how can I be if you won’t open up to me when I’m ready to expose everything about myself?”

Jax looked at her face. At the stubbornness carved into every line of it. And realized he had been outmaneuvered by a girl using a dessert spoon as a weapon.

”Fine. Spin it. I can’t win against your stubbornness.”

Her eyes gleamed. She spun the plate while the spoon stayed still on top. The plate rotated and rotated, the spoon’s tip sweeping past both of them in circles until the momentum died.

It pointed at Astrid.

Jax laughed. ”Losing at your own game. Classic.”

Astrid was nervous. She clenched her fist under the table. Built her resolve brick by brick. And then finally let it out.

”Every person in my life existed inside a category. Valuable. Trash. Ally. Rival. And everything in between. Every interaction had a purpose. Give and take. That’s how I was taught. That’s how I was comfortable.”

She looked at the spoon pointing at her.

”But then you showed up. And you didn’t fit in any category. I tried. Believe me, I tried. I put you in professor. You didn’t stay. I put you in nuisance. You broke out. I put you in enemy. You made me laugh. I put you in rival. You bandaged my leg, you gave me a shoulder to cry on. You showed me parts of myself I never knew existed.”

Her voice softened.

”And for value? I couldn’t label any. You sit in your own category inside me. And whatever the feeling is that sets you apart from everyone else, it’s something I have never felt before. For anyone.”

She swallowed.

”I don’t have a word for it. Maybe I’m too scared to name it. Maybe I’m too stupid to recognize it. But whatever it is, it’s made me do things I never thought I was capable of. Crying in public. Begging for someone’s time. Destroying my own body just because I didn’t want you to leave.”

She paused.

”I’ll be clear. I don’t know if this is love. Or just something fleeting that feels real right now.”

Her voice dropped further.

”But I want to be someone similar to that demon girl Nerith. I know how you protected her in a place that was the face of horror. Between people who were horror themselves. How you promised her you would come back after finding a way.”

She looked at him.

”It’s my own greed. Just like yours. I want someone who would do the same for me. And in my world, that someone is only you.”

Jax had known something like this was coming. But this girl was showing more of herself than he could have imagined.

She added quietly. ”So that’s my confession.”

Neither of them spoke for a while. Neither wanted to touch what she had just laid on the table. So Astrid took the initiative again. Reached for the plate.

”Ready?”

Jax nodded.

The plate spun. And this time Jax had a bad feeling. He could see the momentum carrying the spoon’s tip toward him. Slower and slower. Closer and closer.

It stopped. Pointing directly at him.

He looked at Astrid. Her face was dead serious. Every line of it saying ’I will not accept tricks or jokes right now.’

Jax sighed. ”Fine. I’ll honor the game with Something equal in exchange.”

He closed his eyes. When he opened them, something different sat behind them. Not playfulness. Not calculation.

”What I’m about to tell you is something no one in this world knows about me.”

He took one breath. And said it. ”I am not from this world.”

Astrid blinked.

”I’m from another world. I am the same kind of person that you people call evil champions from other worlds. I was brought here for the same purpose that you already know about.”

Astrid let out a laugh. Painful. Forced. The kind you make when you’re desperately hoping someone will say ’just kidding.’

”You’re joking right? You’re teasing me again. Deflecting it.”

Jax didn’t smile. ”That’s why I have no past here. No family. No story. I came here a few weeks before I was appointed as a professor. And anything before that doesn’t exist for me in this world.”

Her mind started racing. The café around her felt like it was shrinking. She wanted to puke. Her hands went to her hair and started pulling because she knew. She knew from the look in his eyes that he wasn’t lying.

There was no playfulness in them. Only pain. And the kind of seriousness that comes from someone who has been carrying a secret so heavy that saying it out loud felt like dropping an anchor.

Then she spoke with a broken and Low voice which was barely holding together.

”I’ve heard... that champions from other worlds... that after their purpose is fulfilled... they get sent back.”

She looked at him. Searching for the answer she didn’t want to find.

”Is that true?”

Jax nodded. ”That’s the reason why—”

A slap cracked across his face.

[A/N: Thanks again to the GOAT Ordici_T for the luxury car, and a huge shoutout to Leo_Muhammad, Alan_Gwyther, Martijn_Wiersma, Michael_Henderson_3448, Yun_Yinyue, and Mario_1359 for the golden tickets.]