Back Then, I Adored You

Lu Bancheng’s mouth remained closed when he replied, “Mm.”

As Xu Wennuan’s body trembled, she looked down, turned her head, and buried it in her knees. Her trembling stopped, and the warm yellow lights on the balcony emphasized how thin and frail she’d become.

Lu Bancheng watched her quietly for a long time before retracting his gaze. The faucet handle in the bathroom had not been tightly turned off, and each pitapat he heard felt to him like a water droplet landing on his heart and causing a sharp, stinging pain.

……

Gu Yusheng had been deployed to the border, where he was rarely able to use his cell phone. Before he had left Qin Zhi’ai, he had discussed with her that, regardless of whether or not he could contact her, he wanted her to update him at least once a day about what was going on at home. He promised her that, whenever he had the opportunity, he would read her updates and, if he had time, he would reply.

The first time Gu Yusheng was able to use his phone was 20 days after he had left. It was late at night, and his comrades had already gone to sleep. With a cigarette between his lips, he sat on a stone outside their house and turned on his phone.

The phone rang and beeped for 10 minutes with more than 100 text messages before it quieted down. He read through each message as if each one was a vital document.

“Yusheng, I woke very hungry today. Little peanut is increasingly more gluttonous now.”

“Yusheng, I just measured my waistline, and I’ve grown two inches! My chest has also grown larger, and I can’t fit into my underwear anymore.”

“Yusheng, I went to visit Grandfather today. He’s so cute. He bought me a bracelet but was embarrassed to give it to me, so he had Nanny Zhang hand it to me. He said he won it in a raffle drawing, but actually Nany Zhang told me secretly that he went to the mall and bought it specially for me.”

“Yusheng, I went for a pregnancy checkup today. The results were very good. Little peanut is healthy! She is a girl, and she is so beautiful in the scans now!” Following this text message, she sent one of the scans to him.

“Yusheng, something has happened to Nuannuan—Jiang Qianqian was pregnant with Wu Hao’s child, and Nuannuan ran into her at a mall, where they had a confrontation, and Jiang Qianqian had a miscarriage.”

“Yusheng, little peanut moved today.”

“Yusheng, I ate noodles tonight. I don’t know why, but I’m constantly craving noodles these days.”

……

Gu Yusheng had accumulated more than 20 days of text messages. By the time he had read each word of all 20 days’ worth, it was already morning. The last message she had sent was at 10:00 p.m. the night before: “Yusheng, good night. I miss you a lot.”

Gu Yusheng felt a large lump in his throat. The choking sensation stunned him for a long time, before he brought his cigarette to his mouth and began to puff on it furiously. After smoking three cigarettes in a row, Gu Yusheng calculated when the next time would be that he could turn on his cell phone. Afterward, he texted back to Qin Zhi’ai, “I’ll call you at 8:00 p.m. next Thursday.”

After sending his message, Gu Yusheng intended to turn off his phone and return back to the house to sleep since he was scheduled to be working by nine in the morning; however, he still felt uneasy and continued messaging her.

“Eat your meals on time. If there’s anything you need, contact Bancheng and Xiaowang. Don’t go out alone—take the bodyguards that Xiaowang assigned to you at all times. Contact Dr. Xia if you experience any discomfort…”

The more he typed, the more restless his heart, so Gu Yusheng quickly stopped himself, finished his last sentence, and sent the message.