Back Then, I Adored You

Gu Yusheng kept it short and casual, but it still made Qin Zhi’ai’s heart heavy. She thought what Gu Yusheng had described could only happen on TV, in a novel, or on the news. She thought it could never happen to her; however, at this moment, she realized it could happen to anyone, including her.

The hospital was located in the center of the city. After they exited, Gu Yusheng and Qin Zhi’ai didn’t go to the car; instead, he took her hand to take her on a walk along the street. The city was lit up and looked beautiful. They climbed the steps to the bridge to cross the street, and when they’d walked halfway across Gu Yusheng suddenly stopped.

Standing shoulder to shoulder, the cars streamed beneath them on the street, and the distant skyline was a spectacular view. Gu Yusheng pointed at a theater on a hill to the left and said, “Five years ago, I disarmed a bomb there. There were a lot of students in the theater that day. They were having a large event. None of them knew their lives were in such danger during those hours I worked on it.”

Qin Zhi’ai had sometimes asked Gu Yusheng about his life in the military, and he had told her many funny stories. This was the first time he told her something dangerous and awful. She was not stupid; she knew whatever he told her was just a small picture of what he did. What he was going to tell her next was the real point.

He was not ready to talk so she didn’t ask him anything. The two of them quietly stood there, listening to the wind and cars and watching the city’s light show. After a long while, Qin Zhi’ai heard Gu Yusheng’s voice above her head.

“Xiao’ai, do you know people have no idea that others have sacrificed their lives so that they can live normal lives? So they can go to work or school from 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m., or sit together complaining about the stress in their lives, or take their families out for fun on weekends, or just living peacefully.

“Soldiers are afraid of dying, too, like any regular person, but they are willing to put themselves in life-threatening situations because their beliefs are strong. They swore under the flag to protect their country, where all their families and loved ones live.”

“Xiao’ai,” Gu Yusheng called her name. When she looked up at him, he continued, “I was called by my former supervisor in the military. What we talked about was top secret. That was why they took away my cell phone.”

Qin Zhi’ai had a bad feeling about it. She only responded to him with an “okay” in a soft voice without looking at him.

“The reason they’re in trouble goes back to many years ago when I was still in the military. It involves international matters.” Unable to give her confidential details, Gu Yusheng made it simple by being vague.

“My former captain died because of this foreign antagonist. After I became the captain and then left the military, they got a new captain, and he has now died. Many people have died in the past few years because of this fight. There are only a few people in the military who have fighting history with the enemy. If they sent out new people to fight them, we will be in a worse situation.”

Gu Yusheng paused to carefully choose his words before continuing. “Xiao’ai, I am sorry. I can’t go to Hangzhou with you right now to ask your mom’s permission to marry you.”