Back Then, I Adored You

Qin Zhi’ai started to panic. She knew Gu Yusheng probably was not at his grandfather’s house, but she still called the Gu Mansion to check. Nanny Zhang answered her call, but Qin Zhi’ai dared not tell her she had lost contact with Gu Yusheng for fear of Old Master Gu getting worried. She asked Nanny Zhang how Old Master Gu was doing and, when Nanny Zhang then inquired how Gu Yusheng was doing, she knew Gu Yusheng was not there.

To busy herself, she took a walk, did some yoga, and took an online pregnancy course, all the things she usually did; however, she was so worried about Gu Yusheng that she couldn’t focus on any of them. By 10:00 p.m., her usual bedtime, she still couldn’t reach Gu Yusheng.

Qin Zhi’ai drank a glass of milk at the insistence of the caretaker and the housekeeper, but she was unable to sleep and got up before dawn the next day. She opened the window and took a few deep breaths of the fresh morning air. She felt a little better after the long, dreary night, but she had called Gu Yusheng so many times that her phone had died. She plugged the power cord into it and waited for a few minutes before it automatically powered on. Not seeing a new text or a missed call, she opened the Contacts app and tapped Gu Yusheng’s number and called him. A recording answered, ”I’m sorry. The number you have dialed is powered off.” It had been 18 hours since Gu Yusheng had gone missing yesterday, as if he had disappeared from the world.

Xiao Wang had booked 8:00 a.m. train tickets to Hangzhou but, by 8:10 a.m., past the train’s departure time, Qin Zhi’ai still hadn’t heard from or about Gu Yusheng. The housekeeper and the caretaker could tell that she was not in a good mood. They tried to cheer her up, but Qin Zhi’ai still had no appetite for breakfast. She forced herself to eat something for her baby’s sake before going back upstairs.

Pregnancy had made her weaker than usual and, having not slept the night before, she developed a pounding headache that was so intense that she didn’t even go downstairs to have lunch. By noon she had fallen asleep in bed. As she slept, she felt someone feeling her forehead. The hand felt familiar, as if it was Gu Yusheng’s hand. She then thought she heard Dr. Xia saying something to Gu Yusheng in a low voice. She couldn’t make out what he was saying, but she knew a strong arm was holding her up while she was given a sip of water. A cool towel was placed on her forehead, making her feel better and allowing her to fall sound asleep.

When she woke up, the room was pitch dark. Not even the nightlights were on, and the quietness was eerie. Qin Zhi’ai laid flat on the bed for a while before she lifted her hand up to take off the dry towel from her forehead. Realizing what had happened in her sleep was not a dream, she suddenly sat up in bed.

Before she could reach her hand out to turn the light on, she saw Gu Yusheng standing on the balcony with his back facing her. With only one dim light on in the backyard, the tip of his cigarette looked especially bright.

Qin Zhi’ai watched Gu Yusheng’s back for a while before she quickly flipped the blanket off and got out of bed. Gu Yusheng sensed her approach before she even walked to the balcony. He turned around to her.

He took another puff with his head down before he stubbed out his cigarette. He then pulled the glass door open and walked back into the bedroom.