I'm Just an Innkeeper, Why Are You All Kneeling?

The backyard of the Lin Fan Teahouse was, objectively speaking, a wasteland.

It was a twenty-by-twenty square of compacted dirt, featuring exactly three dead weeds, half a broken wagon wheel, and a suspicious depression in the earth that the bandits adamantly refused to explain.

Lin Fan stood at the back door, holding a cup of regular, non-enlightenment-inducing water.

Behind him, Sect Master Lu had already manifested a glowing, earth-shattering spiritual shovel. Eight disciples stood at attention, their sleeves rolled up, spiritual energy rippling across their bodies. Even Elder Mo, who was still practically vibrating with newfound century-spanning vitality, had rolled up his immaculate robes.

”Senior Lin,” Lu said, his voice vibrating with absolute dedication. ”Say the word. My Mountain River Sect possesses the Earth-Rending Mountain-Moving Art. We can excavate a foundation, divert a local spring, and erect a meditation pavilion before the sun sets.”

”We will shatter the bedrock!” a disciple cheered.

”I will personally refine the soil with my own spiritual flames!” Elder Mo offered, desperate to repay the debt Lin Fan refused to let him pay. ”The flowers will bloom with the light of a thousand stars!”

Lin Fan looked at the glowing shovel. He looked at the hyper-enthusiastic cultivators preparing to unleash weapons of mass destruction to plant some petunias.

”Put the shovel away, Lu,” Lin Fan sighed. ”No bedrock shattering. No spiritual flames. We’re just expanding the seating area.”

”But Owner,” the bandit leader whispered nervously, glancing at the barren dirt. ”We don’t have any lumber. Or stone. Or seeds. How will we build it?”

”I have a guy,” Lin Fan said vaguely.

He pulled up the translucent blue System interface, navigated to the [Shop Upgrades] tab, and firmly tapped the newly unlocked [Courtyard Expansion] button.

A prompt popped up. [Deploying Courtyard Expansion. Please ensure all living beings are clear of the designated rendering zone. Estimated construction time: 4 seconds.]

”Everyone take three steps back,” Lin Fan ordered.

Crimson instantly materialized from the kitchen, grabbed the back of the bandit leader’s collar, and dragged all five men backward in a single fluid motion. Lu and his disciples hopped backward on pure instinct.

Lin Fan took a sip of his water.

For one second, absolutely nothing happened.

Then, the fabric of reality tore open.

It didn’t make a loud noise. It made a sickening, silent pop, like a bubble bursting in the mind. The twenty-by-twenty square of dirt didn’t explode—it simply ceased to exist, replaced instantly by a void of swirling, infinite blackness laced with silver geometric lines.

Elder Mo’s jaw dropped. The glowing shovel slipped from Lu’s hands and hit the floorboards with a dull thud.

Spatial tearing! Elder Mo’s mind screamed, his freshly cleansed Dao Heart doing a violent flip. He didn’t hire a construction crew... he is physically ripping a piece of a blessed realm from the higher dimensions and overwriting our reality!

From the void, the courtyard began to unfold. It looked like an impossibly complex origami construct snapping into place.

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First came the ground—pristine, interlocking slabs of pale jade-like stone that radiated a gentle, cooling mist. Then came the flora. A massive, weeping willow tree materialized from the stone, its branches shooting outward and downward in a blur of accelerated time. Hundreds of years of growth happened in two seconds, the leaves settling into a gentle, swaying rhythm, glowing with a soft, ethereal light.

In the center, the stone sank inward, filling instantly with crystal-clear water that smelled faintly of lotus flowers.

[Rendering Complete. Courtyard Deployed.][Capacity Increased: +20 Seats.][Feature Added: Tranquility Pond.]

Lin Fan lowered his water cup.

He had to admit, the System did good work. The stonework was flawless, the tree provided excellent shade, and there were already five elegantly carved stone tables set up around the pond.

”Not bad,” Lin Fan nodded, stepping off the porch onto the new jade stone. He tapped a table. ”Sturdy. We’ll put the high-risk customers out here.”

He turned back.

All eight disciples were on the floor, clutching their heads, trying to process the casual manipulation of space and time they had just witnessed. Sect Master Lu was staring at the weeping willow, his eyes wide, calculating how many thousand years of cultivation it would take to forcefully accelerate a divine tree’s growth like that.

Elder Mo was simply weeping again.

Crimson, however, had immediately stepped into the courtyard, his red eyes scanning the perimeter for threats. He walked over to the pond, peered into the crystal-clear water, and abruptly drew his sword.

”Owner,” Crimson said, his voice dropping to a dangerous, lethal register. ”There are beasts in the water.”

”It’s a pond, Crimson,” Lin Fan said, walking over. ”The System probably threw in some koi fish for decoration. Don’t stab the decorations.”

Lin Fan looked down into the water.

Swimming lazily in circles were five large, beautiful fish. Their scales were a brilliant, shimmering gold, and they had long, elegant whiskers. They looked exactly like premium koi.

Elder Mo finally managed to peel himself off the floor and staggered over to the pond. He looked into the water.

The color drained entirely from his newly rejuvenated face.

He recognized those whiskers. He recognized the faint, terrifying aura of draconic majesty radiating from their scales.

Golden-Scaled Void Dragons, Elder Mo thought, his soul practically leaving his body. Legendary beasts that devour mountains and drink oceans! Emperors of the deep! And... and they are swimming in a circle in a glorified puddle?!

One of the fish surfaced, opening its mouth and letting out a soft, bubbling sound.

”See?” Lin Fan smiled. ”Just hungry little guys.”

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, rock-hard chunk of Lu’s failed triangle bread from three days ago. He tossed it into the pond.

Elder Mo instinctively threw up a defensive formation, fully expecting the Void Dragon to unleash a tsunami of primordial rage at the insult of being fed mortal garbage.

The largest fish lunged forward, caught the rock-hard bread in its mouth, and swallowed it whole. It did a happy little flip, splashing water onto the jade stones, and swam to the edge, looking up at Lin Fan with giant, pleading eyes for more.

Elder Mo stared. Sect Master Lu stared.

Crimson slowly, reluctantly, sheathed his sword. ”They have surrendered to your dominance, Owner. They accept their reality as pets.”

”They’re just fish, Crimson,” Lin Fan sighed. He turned to his staff. ”Alright. New rule. Anyone who looks like they are about to have a profound revelation, break through to a new realm, or summon a localized weather event is to be seated outside.”

The bandit leader, who had recovered enough to pull out his charcoal and notepad, scribbled furiously. ”Understood, Owner! Outdoor seating for the explosive ones!”

Sect Master Lu finally found his voice. ”Senior Lin... to access this... this supreme Blessed Land... this nexus of spatial perfection and draconic energy... what is the entrance fee?”

Lu dreaded the answer. Even a sect’s entire treasury wouldn’t be enough to rent an hour in a place with energy this pure.

Lin Fan gave Lu a weird look. The System’s terrifying warning about exact pricing was still burned into his retinas.

”It’s just the patio, Lu. There’s no entrance fee. If you buy tea, you can sit wherever you want. Two stones for regular, five stones for Green Heart.”

Elder Mo actually swayed on his feet, clutching his chest.

No entrance fee.

He was offering a paradise that could birth Immortal Emperors for the price of two low-grade stones. It was an act of charity so profound, so devastatingly humble, that Elder Mo felt completely unworthy to even stand on the stones.

”You...” Elder Mo choked out. ”You shame the heavens with your generosity, Senior.”

”I am literally just trying to run a business,” Lin Fan muttered, walking back inside to get his broom. The System might have built a pristine courtyard, but somebody still had to sweep up the flour in the dining room.

Behind him, Sect Master Lu immediately claimed the table closest to the weeping willow, assuming a lotus position. The bandit leader rushed over with a blank loyalty card, ready to violently enforce the Buy-Ten-Get-One-Free policy.

And in the pond, five Golden-Scaled Void Dragons swam peaceful circles, eagerly waiting for more bread.