That Day When Suzuki-kun Wasn't the Mob-B!

”What’s wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?” Suzuki asked, raising an eyebrow at the squishy blue slime. Rimuru was practically vibrating with palpable, oozing resentment.

”Nothing.”

”Really?”

”Yeah. It’s nothing.”

”Come on, man. Don’t pull that on me. We’re both from the same era. If you have something to say, just spit it out. It’s better than keeping it bottled up.”

Suzuki wasn’t entirely sure why Rimuru was glaring at him—or at least, projecting the aura of a glare—but given the events of the previous night, he could formulate a pretty solid guess.

”Fine! Then let me say it straight!”

”Go ahead,” Suzuki nodded calmly.

”I AM INCREDIBLY JEALOUS!”

”Naturally. Go on.”

”WHY DID I HAVE TO BECOME A SLIME?! I WANT TO BE A HUMAN TOO! AND... AND... AND...”

”And?”

”And...” Rimuru’s voice dropped to a pathetic, wobbly whisper. A faint, cartoonish blush materialized on his gelatinous face. ”I-I want to be spoiled by beautiful women... and... y’know... lose my virginity.”

”.....”

Suzuki blinked, absolutely speechless for a second, before he crouched down and comfortingly patted Rimuru’s smooth, squishy head. ”But you’re a slime, Rimuru-kun.”

”OH, YEAH, THANKS FOR THE REMINDER! GODDAMMIT! I AM A SLIME! WHY AM I A SLIME?!”

”Look on the bright side,” Suzuki offered, trying to suppress a smirk. ”At least you have a lot of incredibly loyal followers now. Those goblins, the direwolves... you’ve basically got your own army. You’ll probably get even more soon.”

”More?” Rimuru’s invisible lips twitched in horror. ”I don’t need more! There are already way too many of them to feed and organize...”

”Even so, your numbers are a drop in the bucket compared to any human settlement in this world. Take the Blumund Kingdom, for example. It’s one of the smallest kingdoms on the map, and it’s currently my business headquarters. It has a population of 1.5 million.”

”.....”

Rimuru fell silent, mentally comparing his small, bustling village of monsters to a sprawling human metropolis. It was a sobering thought.

”I’m telling you this for your own good, Rimuru.”

”...What do you mean?”

”You’re a modern guy. You know exactly how the minority is treated, right? Furthermore, this is a fantasy world. There are no human rights organizations. There’s no Geneva Convention. You are monsters. You understand what that means for your survival, right?” Suzuki sighed, the weight of his own words settling heavily in the air. He hated breaking the harsh reality to the guy, but it had to be said. ”A human who is willing to talk to monsters, like me, is incredibly rare.”

”...You’re right.”

”...And I don’t mean ’talk’ in that specific way, okay?” Suzuki quickly clarified, catching the slime’s shifting aura.

”I DIDN’T MEAN IT IN THAT WAY EITHER!”

Honestly, if Rimuru hadn’t heard the sheer, unfiltered truth from the Great Sage and Veldora, he would never have believed it. A human arriving in another world, immediately establishing intimate relations with high-tier monsters, surviving the ordeal, and somehow evolving purely from the sheer physical stress of it? It was absurd.

Yet, Suzuki stood right there as living, breathing proof that humanity’s greatest weapon was, in fact, adaptability. The guy had completely bypassed the traditional hero’s journey and was currently speed-running a fantasy harem life.

Yes, Rimuru was furiously jealous.

”Anyway,” Suzuki continued, his tone turning serious. ”You have thirty-seven years of experience living in modern society. You’ve seen a lot of people. While some individuals might be good, you know how society truly operates. Even back in Japan, we have the saying: The nail that sticks out gets hammered down.”

Suzuki looked down at Rimuru, meeting his nonexistent eyes. ”If you want to live peacefully and protect the people you care about, you need to be undeniably strong. Though...” Suzuki rubbed his chin thoughtfully, recalling the sheer scale of the naming ceremony. ”I think you’re already strong enough. The fact that you still have a massive reserve of magicules even after naming that entire village is insane. By the way, can you still name more?”

”Sure,” Rimuru bobbed casually. ”I can name plenty more.”

”...Please exercise some moderation,” Suzuki deadpanned. ”Limit your magicule usage. It’s fine if you pass out when you’re surrounded by loyal allies, but what if you deplete your reserves while surrounded by enemies?”

”That... is a fair point. Thank you, Suzuki-kun.” Rimuru genuinely appreciated the advice. Even though this young man was an absolute degenerate pervert—

”I heard that thought. The last part is completely unnecessary.”

”...Sorry.”

Despite the banter, Rimuru was truly glad he had crossed paths with Suzuki.

”It’s going to take you a while to build this village up properly, right?” Suzuki asked, stretching his arms above his head. His muscles popped, feeling incredibly loose and refreshed from the previous night’s ’activities.’

Though, Suzuki thought privately, I really need to establish some boundaries soon. If I keep going down this path, there is no way a normal human female will ever satisfy me again.

With his newly evolved Enlightened physiology, could a normal human even handle him?

Hmmm... this is a rather unique, terrifying problem to have.

Humans in this world were physically frail, but they possessed terrifying, boundless potential. They could evolve the ”right” way—progressing from an Enlightened, to a Sage, and eventually to a Divine Human. However, if a human possessed a ruthless enough heart, they could easily cross the threshold and evolve into a Demon Lord, just like any monster.

”Anyway, I think it’s time I head back,” Suzuki announced casually.

”Huh?! You’re leaving already?!” Rimuru practically bounced off the dirt in shock.

”Why are you so surprised? I’m a merchant. I need to manage my business. I’ve been away from my headquarters for a while now.”

Thanks to the Manager skill and the absolute nature of his magical contracts, Suzuki knew his employees couldn’t betray him without suffering catastrophic consequences. But even with a flawless logistics network, there were still administrative tasks he needed to oversee in Blumund. His courier business was expanding rapidly.

”Originally, I planned to head straight back to Blumund right after my business trip in Dwargon. But then I met you, and I got a little sidetracked.” Suzuki smiled faintly. ”Still... I can’t say I hated the detour.”

”Suzuki-kun...”

”Build a nice guest house for me next time. And if you ever need anything delivered, just put in an order.”

”.....”

Rimuru suddenly felt a sharp pang of loneliness. It was a strange feeling. Everyone in the village treated him with absolute kindness, but they worshipped him as a god. Suzuki was the only person who treated him like an equal, like a guy he could just grab a beer with. Sure, Veldora was around, but the storm dragon was still sealed away in his stomach, meaning Rimuru couldn’t casually chat with him face-to-face.

Yes, Suzuki was an irredeemable pervert, but he was a good friend—

”I said stop adding that part!”

”Sorry!”

Suzuki sighed, staring down at the bouncy blue slime. As he looked at Rimuru, a sudden, highly profitable idea sparked in his mind.

Could I artificially manufacture a human body for him?

Rimuru’s biggest depressor was his lack of a humanoid form. As a slime, he lacked the sensory organs to properly taste food, feel a breeze, or enjoy the basic comforts of a human life. In the original storyline, Rimuru eventually gained a human form by devouring a specific, tragic character. That action, while necessary for the plot, also sparked a chain reaction of massive misunderstandings that nearly got him killed by other nations.

But what if Suzuki intervened? What if he used his massive wealth, his Manager skill, and his network to somehow procure or craft a perfect, empty homunculus clone for Rimuru to inhabit?

If Suzuki gave Rimuru the one thing he desperately wanted, Rimuru would undoubtedly owe him a massive favor. Gaining the absolute protection and backing of a future Demon Lord? Te-he... Now that is a flawless business investment.

”W-Wait a minute! Don’t leave just yet!” Rimuru shouted, snapping Suzuki out of his capitalistic scheming. ”I have to give you some souvenirs! Don’t you dare go home before I give you a parting gift!”

”Alright, alright,” Suzuki chuckled. ”Bring me some of the local products you’ve made, too. I’ll throw them into my merchant network and sell them for you. It’ll give your village a solid stream of income.”

”Perfect! Give me just a second! Wait right here, okay?!”

Rimuru excitedly bounced away, quickly gathering a few of his goblin leaders.

”So, we are officially leaving?” Anrietta asked, stepping out from behind Suzuki.

”Do you want to stay here?”

”No, I am perfectly fine leaving. My mission is to follow you. Besides, I have no desire to sleep in a tent in the middle of a monster village any longer than necessary.”

”Good.”

Suzuki had a mountain of plans to execute. Just as Rimuru was busy building a nation from scratch, Suzuki was busy building a corporate monopoly so he could eventually retire and laze around in absolute luxury. It might sound irresponsible for someone with his power, but he had worked incredibly hard to get here. He just wanted a moment of peace before the world went crazy—

”SUZUKI! SUZUKI! COME HERE QUICK!”

Rimuru’s panicked voice shattered the peaceful morning air.

”THERE ARE HUMANS HERE! TALK TO THEM! TELL THEM I AM A KIND, GENTLE SLIME WHO PAYS HIS TAXES!”

”...you don’t pay your tax, but what’s wrong?”

Suzuki rubbed his temples. There were many things he wanted to say, but his primary thought was a deep, exhausting realization: If I stay near him any longer, I am going to get dragged into protagonist-level trouble.

It was definitely time to leave.

However, as he reluctantly jogged over to Rimuru’s location at the edge of the village, he saw four humans locked in a tense standoff with the goblins. There were two men and two women. One was a cute, relatively normal-looking young girl. The other was a petite woman wearing a full-face mask.

How did Suzuki instantly know the masked figure was a woman?

Her body. The mask might have hidden her identity, but the armor she wore completely failed to hide her incredibly striking, dangerous curves.

Suzuki took a deep breath, stepping out of the treeline. He prepared his best, most charming merchant smile, ready to de-escalate the situation and explain that Rimuru was entirely harmless.

But before he could even open his mouth, the two men and the young girl locked eyes with him. Their faces instantly drained of color.

”AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!” they screamed in absolute, exaggerated terror, pointing trembling fingers at him. ”IT’S THE WOLF OF BLUMUND!”

”.....”

Silence descended over the village. The goblins stared. Rimuru stared. Anrietta casually looked at her nails.

Suzuki blinked. ”...What did you just call me?”