That Day When Suzuki-kun Wasn't the Mob-B!

”Why won’t you just go back up there right now?” Shizuku and Kaori both asked in unison, their voices a mix of desperate pleading and heavy exhaustion.

Suzuki looked down at the two incredibly beautiful, flushed women tangled in his arms and sighed. ”Do you honestly think it’s that easy for me to just pop back into reality like nothing happened?”

”....”

Shizuku and Kaori tilted their heads, genuinely confused.

”Let’s say I go back right now,” Suzuki began, gently stroking Kaori’s damp hair. ”What happens if the Kingdom or the Holy Church finds out that I possess a multi-dimensional [Subspace Penthouse]?”

”What would happen?” Shizuku asked, her brow furrowing.

”I don’t care about our classmates,” Suzuki stated flatly. ”They’re mostly simple-minded. They would just be thrilled to sleep in a five-star hotel room instead of a damp cave. I could easily buy their absolute loyalty with hot showers and decent food, and they wouldn’t cause me any trouble.”

”That’s definitely true,” Kaori agreed, shivering as she recalled the miserable stone floor of the labyrinth.

”So... then what is the trouble?” Shizuku asked.

”The trouble is the corruption of this Kingdom and the Church.”

”...”

Shizuku and Kaori fell silent.

”Think about it,” Suzuki said, his voice dropping into a dark register. ”The Kingdom violently kidnapped a group of civilian teenagers who scream at the sight of a rat. They ripped us away from our families and ordered us to fight a war against a demon army. They view us as entirely disposable weapons. If the King or the Pope realizes that I possess an untouchable, impenetrable fortress hidden in a pocket dimension... what do you think they will do to me to secure it?”

”...”

What would they do?

Shizuku and Kaori couldn’t give a definitive answer, but the cold, logical terror of Suzuki’s reasoning sent a shiver down their spines. It was entirely normal for him, as a Merchant, to protect his most valuable assets from hostile corporate raiding.

”So... what exactly are you planning to do down here?” Kaori asked, looking up at him with wide, worried eyes.

”I am going to completely clear out the abyss.”

Could you really do that?

Under any other circumstance, such a claim would sound like pure, arrogant delusion. Yet, staring into Suzuki’s calm, dark eyes, both girls felt an unshakeable, entirely blind trust in him. They knew exactly how his mind operated. Suzuki never made a claim without mathematically ensuring the basis for his success. If he said he was going to massacre the entire abyss, he was going to do it.

More importantly, they were currently lying naked in his ultimate trump card.

The penthouse was the true source of their confidence. Even if something went catastrophically wrong in the dark, Suzuki could just retreat into his impenetrable sanctuary. In the eyes of a naive, rigidly righteous boy like Kouki—who believed every battle had to be a frontal, honorable clash of swords—Suzuki’s hit-and-run tactics might seem cowardly. But to Shizuku and Kaori, his ruthless pragmatism was the most comforting, reliable thing in Tortus.

Unlike the ”Heroes” who possessed blind confidence and constantly became massive burdens, risking everyone’s lives for the sake of their own egos, Suzuki refused to gamble.

”...How long will it take?” Shizuku asked softly, her finger lightly tracing the muscular lines of his stomach.

How long?

It was a difficult variable to calculate. Suzuki closed his eyes for a fraction of a second, running a rapid simulation through his [Manager] AI based on his newly acquired immortal stats.

”A week,” he stated confidently.

”A week...” both girls murmured in unison.

It wasn’t an agonizingly long time, but it wasn’t short either. It was just enough time for the class to completely fall apart without him.

”...But, what should we do while you’re grinding in hell?” Kaori asked, her voice trembling slightly. Without Suzuki acting as the anchor, the prospect of being led by the impulsive, delusional Kouki terrified them.

”Hmm...” Suzuki tapped his chin, analyzing the Party’s socio-political dynamics. ”A week isn’t that long. Aiko-sensei will likely rush to the dungeon the moment she receives the report that I ’died.’ When she arrives, several of our classmates will likely crack under the pressure and choose to leave the frontline to follow her.”

”But what is Aiko-sensei even going to do?” Shizuku asked, genuinely confused. ”How can she protect a group when the Kingdom ordered us to fight?”

”She is going to become the absolute backbone of the Kingdom’s agricultural source,” Suzuki explained objectively. ”You’ve seen the commoners in the capital. They consider themselves lucky if they eat one meager meal a day. The soil here is terrible. Aiko-sensei’s [Farmer] class allows her to mass-produce high-yield crops. Economically, she is vastly more important to the Kingdom’s survival than Amanogawa. Because of her massive strategic value, the Church will not allow her to be placed in combat zones. A group of our classmates can safely escort her as ’bodyguards’ while the rest...”

”The rest?” Kaori echoed nervously.

”The rest will have no choice but to follow Amanogawa deeper into the dungeon.”

”....”

Neither Shizuku nor Kaori had any desire to do that.

”But... is it really okay for you two to hide in my penthouse for so long tonight?” Suzuki asked, gently pulling them both closer. ”Won’t your classmates notice you’re missing from the camp?”

”It’s completely fine,” Shizuku murmured, burying her face into his neck.

”Yeah. Everyone thinks we are deeply mourning your tragic death,” Kaori added, her lips curving into a distinctly naughty, incredibly un-Priestess-like smile. ”They wouldn’t dare disturb our tent.”

”....”

Suzuki knew exactly what the narrative was on the surface, but hearing his own ”widows” talk about his death while actively straddling him in a luxury bed felt incredibly surreal.

”I am currently very much alive,” Suzuki pointed out dryly.

”Oh, we can definitely feel that,” Kaori giggled, intentionally grinding her hips in a slow, devastating circle against his rapidly rising heat.

”You are shockingly lively for a dead man,” Shizuku teased, leaning down to trail soft, wet kisses down his chest.

”.....”

Suzuki was completely helpless against their combined assault. He could perfectly read the heavy, intoxicating intent behind their teasing words.

”So... it’s alright for you two to stay for a bit longer?” Suzuki asked, a dark, heavy hunger bleeding into his voice as his hands gripped their soft waists.

Kaori and Shizuku didn’t answer with words. They just smiled, a beautiful, deeply sinful expression crossing their flushed faces, and forcefully pushed his broad shoulders back down into the mattress.

Yes, their day had been incredibly exhausting, and the terror of losing him had nearly broken them. Now, it was time to take a very long, very deep, and entirely shameless rest.

”What exactly are you doing over here, Amanogawa?”

While the three lovers were safely locked away in a dimension of absolute bliss, the surface camp was an absolute disaster.

The group of exhausted girls, who had huddled together near the cold cavern wall to share their limited body heat, glared up at Kouki as he approached their designated resting area.

While some girls just looked helpless, many—especially the rearguard Mages who had brilliantly executed Suzuki’s frictionless trap—wore expressions of pure, unadulterated annoyance. Kouki had literally called them cowards for using strategy instead of bleeding for his ego.

If they felt happy to see his shiny golden armor right now, they would need their heads examined.

Furthermore, Suzuki’s ”death” meant the party’s entire supplies had vanished into the abyss. While the Kingdom knights had carried a few emergency rations and basic canvas tents, the numbers were severely lacking. The boys had at least managed to read the hostile mood and volunteered to sleep directly on the cold stone floor, giving the few available tents to the girls.

The boys were miserable, taking out their frustration by verbally and physically bullying the catatonic Hiyama in the corner. The bully had become the bullied. It was deeply ironic.

But as Kouki confidently strode into the girls’ camp, every ounce of their remaining patience evaporated.

”I just need to speak with Kaori and Shizuku,” Kouki announced, puffing out his chest.

Kouki was fundamentally incapable of reading the room. In his heavily distorted, protagonist-centric worldview, everyone except him and his two main ”heroines” were just background NPCs. He didn’t even register the glares of the female Mages.

”They need to move on!” Kouki continued, his voice obnoxiously loud in the quiet cavern. ”They can’t just be sad forever! I need to tell them that they have to—”

”Can you just shut your mouth for one single minute?”

Nana Miyazaki, completely abandoning her usual bubbly facade, delivered the brutal, blunt interruption.

”.....” Kouki blinked, entirely stunned.

”Amanogawa, it hasn’t even been a full day. It hasn’t even been three hours,” Suzu Taniguchi hissed, violently rubbing her temples to stave off a massive migraine.

”But they shouldn’t be depressed!” Kouki argued defensively, his Hero complex blinding him to basic human empathy. ”They need to move forward! They need to face reality!”

”Suzucchi...” Eri Nakamura placed a gentle, warning hand on Suzu’s trembling shoulder, clearly indicating that arguing with a brick wall was useless.

Suzu snapped. She stepped right into Kouki’s personal space, glaring up at him. ”Fine. I will talk to them. You need to go back to the boys’ camp right now.”

”But—”

”And next time, when you die, Amanogawa, I will be sure to walk into your funeral and tell your grieving mother to just ’move on.’ Don’t worry, I’ve got it covered.”

”....”

Kouki’s eyes twitched violently. His jaw fell open, completely incapable of processing the sheer, venomous hostility in Suzu’s threat. He hesitated for a second, his bruised ego demanding he have the last word.

”Shizuku! Kaori!” Kouki suddenly screamed at the top of his lungs, entirely convinced they were weeping silently inside the dark tent. ”No matter what happens, I will always be by your side! You need to move on! I will always protect you two!”

”...”

The entire camp stared at him in dead, deafening silence.

Kouki didn’t wait for a response. He spun around, his golden cape dramatic swishing, and marched back toward the boys’ camp, entirely convinced he had just delivered a flawlessly heroic speech. He needed to rally the troops!

”Everyone, listen to me!” Kouki shouted as he approached the miserable, shivering boys lying on the stone floor. ”We have to face tomorrow’s battles with courage! We have to fight... wait, are you even listening to me?”

No one said a word. Several boys literally rolled over, showing him their backs.

”Hey! Listen to what I am saying!”

While Kouki had infinite patience for lecturing pretty girls, he had absolutely none for the boys. ”Do you not understand the gravity of what we are facing?! If we don’t take this seriously, we can’t save this world! We have to defeat the Demon King—!”

”Amanogawa. Can you please just rest for five minutes?”

Captain Meld, who was leaning heavily against a stalagmite, cracked one bloodshot eye open. ”We are all exhausted. We are emotionally compromised. We will discuss tactics tomorrow.”

”But I—”

”If you still have that much energy to burn, draw your sword. We can spar right here, right now,” Meld offered, his deep voice carrying a terrifying, unyielding threat.

”...I will go rest,” Kouki mumbled, his shoulders slumping as he finally backed down.

Meld sighed heavily, closing his eyes.

Why did it have to be Tanaka who fell? Meld thought bitterly. Why couldn’t it have been this idiot?

Meld knew it was a deeply unknightly thought, but it was the harsh truth. That was the fundamental difference between the Merchant and the Hero.

Meanwhile, sitting quietly in the shadows, Hajime Nagumo stared intensely at the small tent where Kaori and Shizuku were supposedly mourning. He deeply felt he needed to speak with them, to promise them he would carry on Suzuki’s legacy. But unlike Kouki, Nagumo possessed basic social awareness. He knew barging in right now would be incredibly annoying. He would wait for the morning.

Little did Nagumo, Kouki, or the rest of the exhausted, traumatized camp know...

When the sun finally rose, the two ”grieving widows” were going to emerge from that tent looking absolutely radiant, deeply satisfied, and smelling faintly of expensive lavender body wash.

---

By the way, is Goblina a smash or not?