That Day When Suzuki-kun Wasn't the Mob-B!

In the canon story, Hajime Nagumo survived the true abyss through pure, agonizing torture. Driven mad by starvation and betrayal, he had forced himself to eat highly toxic, poisonous monster meat. His body had violently broken down at the cellular level, and he only survived by desperately chugging divine healing water—Ambrosia—to keep his organs from literally melting. It was a horrific, traumatic metamorphosis that bleached his hair white and permanently shattered his psyche.

Suzuki, however, had to admit that his adventure in the abyss felt entirely different.

To him, it was like a veteran RPG player stumbling into an exclusive, high-yield grinding spot and aggressively monopolizing it. Using his [Snatch] ability, he effortlessly stripped away the stats and skills of the apex predators, rapidly inflating his level. By the time he returned to the surface, he was guaranteed to be the highest-leveled entity on the continent.

Would he follow Nagumo’s torturous path?

Absolutely not. When Suzuki eventually found glowing, radioactive monster meat, he rejected the idea outright. Eating toxic waste to force a biological mutation was practically suicide, and relying on a finite puddle of healing water was a terrible strategy. Perhaps Nagumo had subconsciously wanted to suffer, viewing the agony as a necessary crucible for his rebirth.

But Suzuki?

”I wonder... can I just snatch the core trait of the Ambrosia?”

Ambrosia. The divine healing water that had acted as Nagumo’s salvation. Yet, Suzuki hadn’t felt the need to drink a single drop. He was completely unscathed. His [Presence Concealment] was so ridiculously overpowered that he walked through the nightmare labyrinth completely undetected, a ghost among monsters.

More importantly, his [Snatch] had already forcefully optimized his Pencak Silat with a terrifying arsenal of stolen abilities. From the Lightning Wolves, he took [Synapse Acceleration], internalizing the magic to passively fire his nervous system at supersonic speeds, rendering the rest of the world in a sluggish, agonizing slow-motion. This blinding speed was seamlessly layered over the Basilisk’s [Subdermal Diamond Hide], which bypassed ugly scales to fundamentally alter the density of his muscle fibers and skin, allowing his bare forearm to instantly shatter a heavy broadsword upon impact. To counter his lack of ranged attacks, he claimed the Claw Bear’s [Invisible Gale Talons], projecting a highly compressed, completely invisible blade of wind ten feet past his physical dagger to cleanly decapitate monsters across the room with a mere flick of his wrist. Finally, the [Absolute Echolocation & Thermal Vision] stolen from Nocturnal Horrors eradicated his need for a torch entirely, granting him the ability to ”see” and ”hear” the heartbeat, body heat, and spatial outline of every single living thing within a one-mile radius, even directly through solid stone walls.

”This is honestly just cheating...”

If Suzuki didn’t know the original plot, he wouldn’t have thought much of it. But since he did, he couldn’t help but sigh, deeply amused by how wildly overpowered the Merchant class actually was. The Synergist might have looked cool on paper, allowing Nagumo to craft guns and gadgets, but the Merchant?

As long as an entity existed in the same economy, they were at his absolute mercy.

Using his enhanced [Appraisal], Suzuki scanned the dark labyrinth until his eyes locked onto exactly what he was looking for—a hidden grotto entirely out of a normal person’s line of sight.

”If I didn’t have this radar, I would have walked right past it.”

Was this hidden sanctuary prepared by the gods specifically for Nagumo’s plot armor? Suzuki didn’t care. He entirely refused to rely on ambiguous ”protagonist auras” that only activated when you were bleeding to death. Why should he feel pain when he could just take the treasure securely and clinically?

Society loves to romanticize suffering, claiming that intense trauma forged unbreakable willpower. But as an orphan who had sacrificed his entire youth, sleeping only two hours a night just to study and grind his way into a stable, corporate life on Earth, Suzuki had endured enough torment for one lifetime.

The world was entirely unfair. If you can’t accept that unfairness, you simply orchestrate a hostile takeover and change reality to suit your needs.

Stepping into the hidden grotto, Suzuki approached the massive, glowing God Crystal dripping with raw Ambrosia. He didn’t cup his hands to drink from the puddle. Instead, he placed his palm flat against the colossal crystal itself and pushed his [Manager] AI to its absolute maximum output.

”Snatch.”

Suzuki didn’t steal the liquid. He aggressively stole the very concept of the crystal’s divine regeneration.

When the blinding light faded, the system confirmed the acquisition. He had permanently integrated the God Crystal’s localized immortality directly into his own cellular biology.

He was now identical to Ban the Undead from Seven Deadly Sins. He didn’t just heal; it was biologically impossible for him to die. If a monster managed to tear a chunk out of his shoulder, the flesh would instantly knit back together in a hiss of hot steam before his blood even hit the stone floor. It completely eradicated his biological need for sleep, rest, or medical leave. He was perpetually locked at 100% operational capacity.

”Incredible...”

Combined with his [Subdermal Diamond Hide], Suzuki was essentially an invincible, immortal tank packed into the lean, tailored frame of a businessman.

”Now, what should I do?”

With infinite stamina and instantaneous regeneration, the abyss ceased to be a terrifying death trap. It was nothing more than his personal playground. He was an apex predator wandering into a pen of docile sheep—an advanced empire colonizing a resource-rich, backward civilization.

He intended to systematically harvest every single monster in the abyss. But before he committed to the grind, he desperately needed a shower.

Activating the dimensional lock, Suzuki opened the door to his [Subspace Penthouse], fully expecting to find a hot bath and a quiet evening.

Instead, the second the heavy oak door clicked shut behind him, he froze.

Sitting on his plush living room sofa were Shizuku and Kaori. The moment they saw him step through the doorway—covered in monster blood, dust, and grime—they stood up, their beautiful eyes wide, red, and brimming with fresh tears.

”.....”

Suzuki was momentarily at a loss. He knew exactly how guilty he was for jumping into the abyss without a single word of warning. But offering a polite corporate greeting was the only thing his brain could supply.

”Yo.”

”...”

”...”

”YOU STUPID BASTARD!” Shizuku screamed, the Iron Lady entirely breaking down.

”I WILL CUT YOUR THING OFF IF YOU EVER SCARE US LIKE THAT AGAIN!” Kaori sobbed hysterically, entirely abandoning her angelic Priestess persona.

”...Please don’t do that,” Suzuki murmured softly.

Despite his blood-stained suit and the grime covering his skin, the two girls didn’t hesitate. They closed the distance instantly, throwing themselves against his chest. They clung to him with terrifying, desperate strength, burying their tear-streaked faces into his neck and shoulders, refusing to let him go.

”I am so sorry,” Suzuki whispered, wrapping his strong arms tightly around their trembling waists. He buried his face in their soft, sweet-smelling hair, letting the comforting scent of his penthouse wash over him.

He knew he was at fault. But if he had told them he was going to intentionally dive into the deadliest abyss in the world just to grind stats, would they have ever let him go?

”No. I won’t forgive you,” Shizuku whimpered against his collarbone, her nails digging into his back.

”Me neither,” Kaori sniffled, looking up at him with wet, heavily flushed cheeks and intense, needy eyes. ”Never.”

”...Then what must I do to earn your forgiveness?” Suzuki asked, a dark, incredibly husky edge bleeding into his voice.

He wasn’t stupid. He felt the overwhelming, feverish heat radiating from their soft bodies pressing tightly against him. The sheer terror of thinking he was dead had violently mutated into an insatiable, desperate need to feel him alive.

Shizuku and Kaori didn’t answer with words. They just stared up at his handsome face, their eyes heavy with a dark, intoxicating lust.

Suzuki didn’t need any more prompting. He lowered his head, capturing both of their lips in a devastatingly deep, wet kiss. It was an incredibly lewd, breathless three-way exchange—tangled tongues, shared breath, and desperate sighs—that would have made any of their naive classmates instantly pass out from the sheer, overwhelming eroticism.

”Hmn~!” Kaori moaned sweetly against his mouth, her knees buckling entirely as the invincible Merchant finally carried them toward the bedroom.